Why You Should Always, Always Count on 100% Attendance...

littlepep · April 2015

julieanne912 said:
Ugh this makes me want to puke. Our max venue capacity is 198 (the venue owner told me it was more when I first called, but the paperwork says 198). We have 196 on our guest list, FI kept adding people and didn't understand why it was a big deal. After figuring out table configurations etc., I'm not sure how we can fit more than 180 comfortably. I'm hoping since it's during the school year, and probably 75% of the guest list is from out of state and many have school aged kids, we'll get some declines. I've already had one cousin (I have 13 first ones just on my mom's side) tell me her husband can't come, so there's one! My invites don't go out til July so crossing fingers... if they all come, well, we'll figure it out I guess. Cost isn't an issue at all, just space.

Our biggest issue is space as well. I really don't understand how that's a hard concept to grasp but some people can just not get it. "It'll work out! Just invite them!"

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

larrygaga said:

loveislouder said:
Our max capacity was 220 I think. Our minimum was 150, which is what we wanted. We invited 180 and had 58 people decline. That was wayyyy more than we expected.
The minimum you had to have at the wedding per catering?

To me that read like she hadn't expected that many to decline - 180-58=122, so 28 people less than their catering minimum.

Junebug2015 · April 2015

julieanne912 said:
Ugh this makes me want to puke. Our max venue capacity is 198 (the venue owner told me it was more when I first called, but the paperwork says 198). We have 196 on our guest list, FI kept adding people and didn't understand why it was a big deal. After figuring out table configurations etc., I'm not sure how we can fit more than 180 comfortably. I'm hoping since it's during the school year, and probably 75% of the guest list is from out of state and many have school aged kids, we'll get some declines. I've already had one cousin (I have 13 first ones just on my mom's side) tell me her husband can't come, so there's one! My invites don't go out til July so crossing fingers... if they all come, well, we'll figure it out I guess. Cost isn't an issue at all, just space.

I know how you feel. We will be under the max capacity of 165, but I think the ideal number (in my head anyway) for the space is around 135-140. I don't think there will be that many declines, and it will mean having more people at tables than I would prefer. Not to the point where guests are uncomfortable, but just more crowded than I would want in a dream world.

badbnagdway · April 2015

littlepep said:

julieanne912 said:
Ugh this makes me want to puke. Our max venue capacity is 198 (the venue owner told me it was more when I first called, but the paperwork says 198). We have 196 on our guest list, FI kept adding people and didn't understand why it was a big deal. After figuring out table configurations etc., I'm not sure how we can fit more than 180 comfortably. I'm hoping since it's during the school year, and probably 75% of the guest list is from out of state and many have school aged kids, we'll get some declines. I've already had one cousin (I have 13 first ones just on my mom's side) tell me her husband can't come, so there's one! My invites don't go out til July so crossing fingers... if they all come, well, we'll figure it out I guess. Cost isn't an issue at all, just space.
Our biggest issue is space as well. I really don't understand how that's a hard concept to grasp but some people can just not get it. "It'll work out! Just invite them!"

Obviously it's best to plan for 100% attendance. Realistically though most weddings will not have a 95% - 100% attendance.

Our wedding is OOT for probably 60% of the guests for our upcoming May 2 wedding. We invited 145 people. We have 91 confirmed, and still some outstanding so that we could have an accept rate anywhere between 62% - 75%. However, about 10% of our list (about 15 people) were phantom plus ones -- guest slots we gave to folks who were not in a relationship with anyone when we did the invites. Of those only one has turned into an actual guest -- a WP member who started dating someone a week or so ago who wants to bring her.

If you have some of these phantom plus ones I would expect your decline rate to be higher, is what I'm getting at.

Junebug2015 · April 2015

badbnagdway I think you're right. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't give out our "phantom" plus ones to truly single guests until after our invitations went out and we received declines, unless that person wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding.

loveislouder · April 2015

larrygaga said:

loveislouder said:
Our max capacity was 220 I think. Our minimum was 150, which is what we wanted. We invited 180 and had 58 people decline. That was wayyyy more than we expected.
The minimum you had to have at the wedding per catering?

Right. So if we didn't have the 150 we'd have to pay them for upgrades like a mashed potato bar or late night pizza, which we really don't want to do because we're already giving people a ton of food and we don't want them leaving early because they feel sick, you know? So we're going to replenish the wine on the tables and have the bar open during dinner and speeches and see what happens from there.

kvruns · April 2015

Junebug2015 said:
badbnagdway I think you're right. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't give out our "phantom" plus ones to truly single guests until after our invitations went out and we received declines, unless that person wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding.

that's how I did it. I think there are only 3-4 single people coming and while I didn't specifically put a +1 on the invite I budgeted for the space but figured I would see how the invites shook out. 1 of them declined already, and 2 of the other 2 are really good friends and are coming together so I'm not worrying about a separate plus one for them.

redheadbride15 · April 2015

I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

anjemon · April 2015

badbnagdway said:

littlepep said:

julieanne912 said:
Ugh this makes me want to puke. Our max venue capacity is 198 (the venue owner told me it was more when I first called, but the paperwork says 198). We have 196 on our guest list, FI kept adding people and didn't understand why it was a big deal. After figuring out table configurations etc., I'm not sure how we can fit more than 180 comfortably. I'm hoping since it's during the school year, and probably 75% of the guest list is from out of state and many have school aged kids, we'll get some declines. I've already had one cousin (I have 13 first ones just on my mom's side) tell me her husband can't come, so there's one! My invites don't go out til July so crossing fingers... if they all come, well, we'll figure it out I guess. Cost isn't an issue at all, just space.
Our biggest issue is space as well. I really don't understand how that's a hard concept to grasp but some people can just not get it. "It'll work out! Just invite them!"
Obviously it's best to plan for 100% attendance. Realistically though most weddings will not have a 95% - 100% attendance.

Our wedding is OOT for probably 60% of the guests for our upcoming May 2 wedding. We invited 145 people. We have 91 confirmed, and still some outstanding so that we could have an accept rate anywhere between 62% - 75%. However, about 10% of our list (about 15 people) were phantom plus ones -- guest slots we gave to folks who were not in a relationship with anyone when we did the invites. Of those only one has turned into an actual guest -- a WP member who started dating someone a week or so ago who wants to bring her.

If you have some of these phantom plus ones I would expect your decline rate to be higher, is what I'm getting at.

This really contributed to our large gap in numbers. We didn't get that many declines, but almost 100% of our friends with "phantom plus ones" decided not to bring a guest. I can think of one person who is, and even she's just bringing a friend along.

hellohkb · April 2015

I plan on expecting 100% attendence, BUT: I have several people who have told me they will decline but want an invitation anyway (all family, of course). This isn't just 1 person, it's several. I have no clue what to even think of that.

thisismynickname2 · April 2015

hellohkb said:
I plan on expecting 100% attendence, BUT: I have several people who have told me they will decline but want an invitation anyway (all family, of course). This isn't just 1 person, it's several. I have no clue what to even think of that.

Ego? I always wondered that too. "Even though I can't go, I'm special enough to be invited. See? See this invite? They sent it to me! Yay!"

SMH

flbride2015 · April 2015

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Same here. Everyone who's received a save the date has already confirmed they intend to come. And all our guests will be OOT for our wedding, including us. I'm expecting close to 100% attendance.

badbnagdway · April 2015

flbride2015 said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Same here. Everyone who's received a save the date has already confirmed they intend to come. And all our guests will be OOT for our wedding, including us. I'm expecting close to 100% attendance.

I will say this -- I just got a decline from someone who told me they were coming shortly after receiving a save the date. She is a very good and dear friend. She had even gotten a hotel room way back when I first told her about our hotel block. So even people who give a tentative yes when they receive a save the date may end up declining.

Edited for words.

anjemon · April 2015

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

ShesSoCold · April 2015

anjemon said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.
Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

My venue had a 25 person minimum, but every other venue we looked at had a dollar amount minimum, which made more sense to me. We had to cancel the wedding but we may not have made that 25 minimum. I kept trying to ask the coordinator what would happen and she said we'd be fine. I assume because our price per person was high-ish, compared to some of their wedding packages.

kvruns · April 2015

anjemon said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

They want to make their money! In my search I found the minimums were associated with the prime wedding day, AKA Saturday, and you could avoid minimums on a Friday. It makes sense - why would the venue want my 65-75 person when they know they will have other offers and want to make sure they get at least a 150 person event. So they set a minimum saying that no matter how few people you have you will be paying the cost of at least 150 people. Then you weigh the option of if you are ok to pay that higher price for your small wedding or not.

In my case we chose Friday so we could have the venue we liked but avoid a 150 person minimum fee. Our venue prices by the person more or less and certainly we weren't going to pay for double our actual guest count.

lyndausvi · April 2015

anjemon said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.
Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

Maybe. It's a business. Their goal is to make money. A 25 person wedding will not bring as much money as a 125 wedding. Depending on the venue a 25 person wedding will not pay the bills.

charcoalandblush · April 2015

anjemon said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

They want to make their money! In my search I found the minimums were associated with the prime wedding day, AKA Saturday, and you could avoid minimums on a Friday. It makes sense - why would the venue want my 65-75 person when they know they will have other offers and want to make sure they get at least a 150 person event. So they set a minimum saying that no matter how few people you have you will be paying the cost of at least 150 people. Then you weigh the option of if you are ok to pay that higher price for your small wedding or not.
In my case we chose Friday so we could have the venue we liked but avoid a 150 person minimum fee. Our venue prices by the person more or less and certainly we weren't going to pay for double our actual guest count.

I always assumed this was why too. It's potentially even more of a money-maker for the venue because they don't necessarily have to alter the menu/extras... they just charge you for the total.

So if you have a $10,000 minimum and plan for 100 people at $100 a person, and only 50 people come, you can use that other $5000 to add top shelf liquor, or an extra entree choice, or whatever. You're still getting $10,000 "worth" of food and drinks.

But if it's a 100 person minimum at $100/person, they still make $10,000 and you only get $5000 "worth" of food and drinks (quotes because $5000 of wedding food is like $10,000+ real life food).

Our venue has a $10,000 minimum, not a head count minimum. We're inviting 240, and expecting around 180 based on OOT/elderly/etc., but it's not an issue at all regardless. Our venue maximum is 500. And we'll adjust our menu choices up or down depending on our guest count (drop the steak if it's more than we expect, upgrade the desserts and booze if it's less).

[Deleted User] · April 2015

hellohkb said:
I plan on expecting 100% attendence, BUT: I have several people who have told me they will decline but want an invitation anyway (all family, of course). This isn't just 1 person, it's several. I have no clue what to even think of that.

I did this once. Back in college my yearbook boss and the photo lab tech got engaged. We went to college in Indiana, I lived in Illinois, their wedding was going to be in California. I actually told them, "Send me an invitation. I promise not to go, but I really want to see your invitation and think about you guys on your wedding day." They were both super creative, their wedding invitation was creative too. And I sent them good vibes from across the country on their wedding day.

badbnagdway · April 2015

charcoalandblush said:

anjemon said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

They want to make their money! In my search I found the minimums were associated with the prime wedding day, AKA Saturday, and you could avoid minimums on a Friday. It makes sense - why would the venue want my 65-75 person when they know they will have other offers and want to make sure they get at least a 150 person event. So they set a minimum saying that no matter how few people you have you will be paying the cost of at least 150 people. Then you weigh the option of if you are ok to pay that higher price for your small wedding or not.
In my case we chose Friday so we could have the venue we liked but avoid a 150 person minimum fee. Our venue prices by the person more or less and certainly we weren't going to pay for double our actual guest count.

I always assumed this was why too. It's potentially even more of a money-maker for the venue because they don't necessarily have to alter the menu/extras... they just charge you for the total.

So if you have a $10,000 minimum and plan for 100 people at $100 a person, and only 50 people come, you can use that other $5000 to add top shelf liquor, or an extra entree choice, or whatever. You're still getting $10,000 "worth" of food and drinks.

But if it's a 100 person minimum at $100/person, they still make $10,000 and you only get $5000 "worth" of food and drinks (quotes because $5000 of wedding food is like $10,000+ real life food).

Our venue has a $10,000 minimum, not a head count minimum. We're inviting 240, and expecting around 180 based on OOT/elderly/etc., but it's not an issue at all regardless. Our venue maximum is 500. And we'll adjust our menu choices up or down depending on our guest count (drop the steak if it's more than we expect, upgrade the desserts and booze if it's less).

I feel amazingly lucky that our venue just has a rental price, end of story. And it was so affordable. We get to buy our own booze to serve and we picked our own caterer. Best deal ever.

hellohkb · April 2015

adk19 said:

hellohkb said:
I plan on expecting 100% attendence, BUT: I have several people who have told me they will decline but want an invitation anyway (all family, of course). This isn't just 1 person, it's several. I have no clue what to even think of that.
I did this once. Back in college my yearbook boss and the photo lab tech got engaged. We went to college in Indiana, I lived in Illinois, their wedding was going to be in California. I actually told them, "Send me an invitation. I promise not to go, but I really want to see your invitation and think about you guys on your wedding day." They were both super creative, their wedding invitation was creative too. And I sent them good vibes from across the country on their wedding day.

That's a bit different and kind of endearing. Some people want to be straight up invited but don't really have any intentions on coming.

flyingfoxes · April 2015

People are nuts - one of my guests emailed me yesterday to ask if she could bring a date. RSVPs are due a couple of weeks before the wedding for a reason, people - the caterer doesn't need the headcount THREE days before a wedding, they want it like a week or 2 before....we have lots of kids that won't eat the full adult portion sizes we're paying for, so we can do it, but people need to get their shit together!

LabLove86 · April 2015

kvruns said:

redheadbride15 said:
I'm pretty amazed at the acceptance rate for our wedding too - it looks like it will be >90% despite the fact that all but 4 of the guests are OOT and more than half have to travel from a great distance (including cross-country and internationally). Fortunately no problem maxing out our venue, which can hold 125 and we only invited 82.

As an aside, vendors that require minimum headcounts annoy me.

Now I'm wondering why venues have minimums. Our venue set one based on the total number of guests we said we were inviting. For a while I thought we might not make that. But why? Would they have turned us down if we were a smaller wedding? So confusing.

They want to make their money! In my search I found the minimums were associated with the prime wedding day, AKA Saturday, and you could avoid minimums on a Friday. It makes sense - why would the venue want my 65-75 person when they know they will have other offers and want to make sure they get at least a 150 person event. So they set a minimum saying that no matter how few people you have you will be paying the cost of at least 150 people. Then you weigh the option of if you are ok to pay that higher price for your small wedding or not.

In my case we chose Friday so we could have the venue we liked but avoid a 150 person minimum fee. Our venue prices by the person more or less and certainly we weren't going to pay for double our actual guest count.

I was just going to say - because they are a business and in order to be profitable they need to make a minimum of $X to open.

Our venue has a dollar amount minimum - different for its 2 rooms. On Saturdays those rates were higher in each room by thousands of dollars. So we chose the smaller room on a friday to have our ceremony/reception. But - the venue still has to be profitable even to open on a Friday night in the smaller room. So while our minimum is less there is still a minimum and I understand that from a business standpoint.

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