Chairs are Important

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

novella1186 said:

huskypuppy14 said:
I need to print this out and give it to my sister. Her and her FI are having a mingling cocktail reception, without enough chairs. And it's definitely their vision, not the money. Their wedding is probably costing more money than mine and my other sister's did (according to my mom).

The thing is though, there probably is enough places for people to sit throughout the venue (winery). But that means people are going to be spread out (some on the patio, some in the winery, some in the reception area). And they are inviting under 100 people, so if everyone is spread out, it's going to look like no one is there.

People need to sit down! Get enough chairs for every butt.
Mingling is like sex. There is more than one position in which to do it, and it's just as comfortable/easy to do sitting down as it is standing up. Maybe even more so.

And people will probably mingle more with chairs, because if there are only so many seats, people will not move because they don't want to give up their seat.

Why isn't this common senses?

ShesSoCold · April 2015

huskypuppy14 said:
I need to print this out and give it to my sister. Her and her FI are having a mingling cocktail reception, without enough chairs. And it's definitely their vision, not the money. Their wedding is probably costing more money than mine and my other sister's did (according to my mom).

The thing is though, there probably is enough places for people to sit throughout the venue (winery). But that means people are going to be spread out (some on the patio, some in the winery, some in the reception area). And they are inviting under 100 people, so if everyone is spread out, it's going to look like no one is there.

People need to sit down! Get enough chairs for every butt.

Yes. There was at least one or two times during my reception that every. single. person. was sitting down. Maybe not for an hour, but everyone definitely did sit, especially while they were eating.

anjemon · April 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

novella1186 said:

huskypuppy14 said:
I need to print this out and give it to my sister. Her and her FI are having a mingling cocktail reception, without enough chairs. And it's definitely their vision, not the money. Their wedding is probably costing more money than mine and my other sister's did (according to my mom).

The thing is though, there probably is enough places for people to sit throughout the venue (winery). But that means people are going to be spread out (some on the patio, some in the winery, some in the reception area). And they are inviting under 100 people, so if everyone is spread out, it's going to look like no one is there.

People need to sit down! Get enough chairs for every butt.
Mingling is like sex. There is more than one position in which to do it, and it's just as comfortable/easy to do sitting down as it is standing up. Maybe even more so.
And people will probably mingle more with chairs, because if there are only so many seats, people will not move because they don't want to give up their seat.

Why isn't this common senses?

This. I hate standing for any period of time. When people are standing around at parties, I'm always the first person to head for a chair. If there weren't enough chairs I would just be sitting in mine all night making sure I had it covered. I don't want to go dance for awhile then not have anywhere to sit when I'm tired.

This is also probably the reason we left my cousin's wedding fairly early. We were one of the tables that lost our space to the dance floor. So we didn't really have any chairs where we could sit and watch the dancing. I also hate losing tables for the dance floor.

beachyone15 · April 2015

Not only having chairs, but actually letting your guests use them! I went to a wedding recently where they had cocktail hour outside with some bartop tables, and the reception tables set up inside. Everyone who tried to get in the reception room "before it was time" wasn't allowed in! H's 80-year old grandma barged inside and told the officer on duty that she couldn't stand any longer (she's scrappy like that). Everyone was SO ready to go inside by the time they let us.

levioosa · April 2015

Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.

ShesSoCold · April 2015

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.

Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.

novella1186 · April 2015

ShesSoCold said:

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.
Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.

This is what I really don't understand; why don't people have the ability to put THEMSELVES in the place that they're trying to put someone else in?

Do you [general you] want to stand around in heels and fancy clothes, and try to eat standing up, and spend the entire night standing? Does that sound fun to you? Or do you like to have a place to sit, even if it's only to take a break for a few minutes?

You [general you] are not special. You don't have some magic permission/exception to treat people in a way that you would not appreciate being treated. Do unto others...

pinkcow13 · April 2015

novella1186 said:

ShesSoCold said:

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.
Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.
This is what I really don't understand; why don't people have the ability to put THEMSELVES in the place that they're trying to put someone else in?

Do you [general you] want to stand around in heels and fancy clothes, and try to eat standing up, and spend the entire night standing? Does that sound fun to you? Or do you like to have a place to sit, even if it's only to take a break for a few minutes?

You [general you] are not special. You don't have some magic permission/exception to treat people in a way that you would not appreciate being treated. Do unto others...

This is an awesome idea, but you know what? I feel like some people think, well it's MY day, so they should understand! If they love me, they won't care! It's only for a few hours, what's the big deal?

Honestly though, how do people think this is a good idea? And if you ARE going to do this, the least you can do is maybe provide some flip flops or something so that the women don't go walking around barefoot. Sheesh!

badbnagdway · April 2015

pinkcow13 described.

The catastrophic wedding we went to recently seemingly had chairs for every butt, although they kept guests waiting a looonnnngg time for food, which was finger food. I posted something about it on the SB board. They did the thing though where some people were inside (WP and family in main room, a separate room with space for about 1/4 of the guests) and some were out on a patio. The people on the patio could not see or hear what was going on inside, and then it started torrential raining and they all got soaked and the wind started decimating the mason jar and burlap centerpieces. Eek.

It seems like a basic rule of wedding planning should be "make every guest at least as comfortable as you and your SO will be." If you do that you won't go wrong.

ShesSoCold · April 2015

pinkcow13 said:

ShesSoCold said:

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.
Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.
This is what I really don't understand; why don't people have the ability to put THEMSELVES in the place that they're trying to put someone else in?

Do you [general you] want to stand around in heels and fancy clothes, and try to eat standing up, and spend the entire night standing? Does that sound fun to you? Or do you like to have a place to sit, even if it's only to take a break for a few minutes?

You [general you] are not special. You don't have some magic permission/exception to treat people in a way that you would not appreciate being treated. Do unto others...

This is an awesome idea, but you know what? I feel like some people think, well it's MY day, so they should understand! If they love me, they won't care! It's only for a few hours, what's the big deal?

Honestly though, how do people think this is a good idea? And if you ARE going to do this, the least you can do is maybe provide some flip flops or something so that the women don't go walking around barefoot. Sheesh!

BOXESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I'll never understand that either. If you love these people, why do you want to treat them like shit? Why do you want to make your loved ones uncomfortable? "They're my family, they'll understand" applies to shit like having a messy house when someone comes over or wearing yoga pants to Sunday dinner. Not willingly making them suffer.

levioosa · April 2015

ShesSoCold said:

pinkcow13 said:

ShesSoCold said:

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.
Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.
This is what I really don't understand; why don't people have the ability to put THEMSELVES in the place that they're trying to put someone else in?

Do you [general you] want to stand around in heels and fancy clothes, and try to eat standing up, and spend the entire night standing? Does that sound fun to you? Or do you like to have a place to sit, even if it's only to take a break for a few minutes?

You [general you] are not special. You don't have some magic permission/exception to treat people in a way that you would not appreciate being treated. Do unto others...
This is an awesome idea, but you know what? I feel like some people think, well it's MY day, so they should understand! If they love me, they won't care! It's only for a few hours, what's the big deal?

Honestly though, how do people think this is a good idea? And if you ARE going to do this, the least you can do is maybe provide some flip flops or something so that the women don't go walking around barefoot. Sheesh!

BOXESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I'll never understand that either. If you love these people, why do you want to treat them like shit? Why do you want to make your loved ones uncomfortable? "They're my family, they'll understand" applies to shit like having a messy house when someone comes over or wearing yoga pants to Sunday dinner. Not willingly making them suffer.

I seriously think people suddenly become blind where weddings are concerned. I don't understand it. I tried explaining to my BFF how inappropriate it was to expect people to fly thousands of miles to her DW and then not provide enough seating, or have a contingency plan for the rain that is inevitably going to happen (due to the location and season she is having it). 'But it's our wedding!" ldfkghsdfjkghsdlfkgh. I finally got through to her slightly when I told her it was going to have professional ramifications for hosting improperly and inviting their business partners.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

novella1186 said:

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.
Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.

This is what I really don't understand; why don't people have the ability to put THEMSELVES in the place that they're trying to put someone else in?

Do you [general you] want to stand around in heels and fancy clothes, and try to eat standing up, and spend the entire night standing? Does that sound fun to you? Or do you like to have a place to sit, even if it's only to take a break for a few minutes?

You [general you] are not special. You don't have some magic permission/exception to treat people in a way that you would not appreciate being treated. Do unto others...

But the couple who plans a wedding like this, I am sure, will have special seats designated just for them. So no, they can't put themselves in the position of their guests, because they won't be in that uncomfortable position because they will have comfy thrones to sit in.

novella1186 · April 2015

Maggie0829 said:

novella1186 said:

levioosa said:
Ugh, I'm so worried this is going to happen at my BFF's wedding. She had the same argument about there only being seating for the elderly.
Ask her to get all dressed up with heels and then stand in her kitchen to eat dinner. Then stand around for another few hours. I did this with a friend and it worked to give her some perspective.
This is what I really don't understand; why don't people have the ability to put THEMSELVES in the place that they're trying to put someone else in?

Do you [general you] want to stand around in heels and fancy clothes, and try to eat standing up, and spend the entire night standing? Does that sound fun to you? Or do you like to have a place to sit, even if it's only to take a break for a few minutes?

You [general you] are not special. You don't have some magic permission/exception to treat people in a way that you would not appreciate being treated. Do unto others...

But the couple who plans a wedding like this, I am sure, will have special seats designated just for them. So no, they can't put themselves in the position of their guests, because they won't be in that uncomfortable position because they will have comfy thrones to sit in.

----------------boxes------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, that's gross to me. I always try to see the situation from someone else's perspective.

FI tried to argue in favor of a cash bar for our wedding. In his family, this is not an awful thing to do (his parents tried to nag me into doing it too, cuz FSIL had one, so that makes it ok!)

As soon as FI brought it up, I said, "Remember when we went to Kate and Ben's wedding? Remember when I went to the bar and got a drink, and they charged me for it, and I had to go back to the table to get my purse, and I was really embarrassed and annoyed? Remember how we left early because the drinks were so expensvie and they sucked [among other reaons; it was kind of an awful wedding all-around]? Remember how everyone at our table was bitching about having to pay for drinks, and everyone thought it was really rude? So why would we do that to our guests?"

lyndausvi · April 2015

I go against the grain and say you do not need 100% seating for a standard 1-1.5 hour cocktail reception. I've worked plenty of those types receptions to know people generally do not sit during those.

Now that is where it ends.

If you are having more than 1.5 hour reception (hour would be better) then you need seats for everyone. Your guests are going to want to sit at some point.

If you are having a something other then 1-2 bite foods you need seats. Seriously, no one wants to eat foods that need silverware while standing. They just don't.

On another note, I will NEVER understand no seats means no mingling. I've attended some 50 weddings in my lifetime. Everyone had seats for everyone. Everyone people mingled. They mingled during the cocktail hour and after dinner. The dance floors were always packed, but even dancers what to sit down every once in a while.

Chairs or lack-there-of are not what causes people to mingle. Those who mingle will do so with or without chairs. It's in their personalities. Those who don't like to mingle will not all the sudden do so because there are not chairs. More then likely they will just leave anyway.

flantastic · April 2015

To "If they care about us, they'll understand" my response is always "Doesn't sound like you care about them, though. Let's just be honest with ourselves about that."

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