Did you/Will you have any rituals?

pinkcow13 · April 2015

I'm working on our ceremony. At first we did not want to have any rituals, like the unity candle or the unity sand ceremony. But, now I'm kind of warming up to the idea. I don't think we will have any readings, I can't think of a poem that I like that would be appropriate, and I know a reading is not up FI's alley. I recently started thinking about having a wine ceremony. I think this is more up our alley, and I think it would be a nice touch to the ceremony. FI likes the idea, but he said he could really go either way.

So, did you guys have any rituals, or are you planning on having one? If so, what made you decide to have the ritual, and the particular ritual that you chose?

novella1186 · April 2015

We were originally going to do a thing with wine that's part of a Jewish ceremony, but our ceremony ended up being way less Jewish (long story).

Then we were going to do "hand-fasting" where our hands are bound or something like that, because it's an old Celtic tradition and FI's family has origins there. But he didn't care much about it, and we wanted to keep our ceremony short, sweet, and simple, so we ended up nixing that too.

So no. None of that.

lyndausvi · April 2015

we didn't have any. No regrets

cupcait927 · April 2015

We did the wine ceremony! I wasn't all that jazzed about having a unity ceremony but our officiant suggested the wine one since we were getting married at a winery. It was neat and H and I got to swig down full bottles of wine after it the ceremony was over!

plainjane0415 · April 2015

We are doing a sand ceremony, and that was added last minute because FI ended up wanting to do it. I'm apathetic about it, and I really don't think it adds or takes away from the ceremony. I think you could go either way.

ashley8918 · April 2015

Nope, we didn't. I wanted my ceremony as short as humanly possible.

lyndausvi · April 2015

ashley8918 said:
Nope, we didn't. I wanted my ceremony as short as humanly possible.

We both come from Catholic families. They all attended hour long ceremonies.

The loved our short and sweet ceremony. Especially since the bar was like 20 feet away. Oh and some of them ended up getting severed before and had drinks in their hands during the ceremony. HA

littlepep · April 2015

ashley8918 said:
Nope, we didn't. I wanted my ceremony as short as humanly possible.

Me too. We're doing a couple of readings, but no rituals.

chloe97 · April 2015

Our ceremony with incorporate both Catholic and Jewish traditions. We are getting married under a Chuppah, breaking a glass, and doing the unity sand or candle. One Catholic ritual we love is the sign of peace, where everyone shakes hands with their neighbor. I think we will try to incorporate that as well.

beachyone15 · April 2015

We had a reading and a unity candle. I would do the reading again, but probably not the candle.

H's grandpa did the reading and H is very close to his grandpa. In fact, that was the point when he was holding back tears the most. Seeing how touched he was to have his grandpa involved in our ceremony meant a lot so I would absolutely do that again.

The candles however, were a bit tricky. It was towards the end of the ceremony so the candles had started to melt everywhere. H and I picked ours up to light the unity candle and they started dripping everywhere (like my hands and almost my dress!) So that part of our ceremony was a bit more distracting for me and looking back, I'd probably skip it.

charcoalandblush · April 2015

littlepep said:

ashley8918 said:
Nope, we didn't. I wanted my ceremony as short as humanly possible.
Me too. We're doing a couple of readings, but no rituals.

Samesies. The two readings I want will take < 3 minutes total. It'll be welcome, statement of intent, readings, vows, pronouncement, PARTY

thisismynickname2 · April 2015

I was originally thinking of rituals as I've liked what I've seen at other weddings, but then we found our officiant who had an order of ceremony we liked. No additional rituals needed (but lovely readings).

A recent wedding I attended, they did the wine ritual. The bride took a dainty sip of hers and the groom slugged all of his. The crowd clapped and cheered for that! Good times.

Another couple I know took sips of whiskey that originated from some geographic region both their families had ties to. That was cool.

You do you.

pinkcow13 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:

ashley8918 said:
Nope, we didn't. I wanted my ceremony as short as humanly possible.
We both come from Catholic families. They all attended hour long ceremonies.

The loved our short and sweet ceremony. Especially since the bar was like 20 feet away. Oh and some of them ended up getting severed before and had drinks in their hands during the ceremony. HA

cupcait927. That speaks to us lol.

chloe97 that sounds really lovely. I love the breaking of the glass part. Is drinking wine as part of the ceremony also a Jewish tradition?

ashley8918 · April 2015

lyndausvi said:
Nope, we didn't. I wanted my ceremony as short as humanly possible.

We both come from Catholic families. They all attended hour long ceremonies.

The loved our short and sweet ceremony. Especially since the bar was like 20 feet away. Oh and some of them ended up getting severed before and had drinks in their hands during the ceremony. HA

This is a terrifying autocorrect, hahaha

VulgarGirl · April 2015

We had two readings and a unity cocktail.

I like the idea of doing a shot during the wedding ceremony. Which is what we did.

JennyColada · April 2015

We did not, but looking back, it would have been nice to do the glass breaking ceremony since we ended up kind of accidentally having a chuppah and my (Jewish) mom mentioned it afterwards.

Oh well, I'm not really THAT jewish, so I'm pretty non-plused about it.

Other than that, both me and DH spoke written sentiments (non-vows) to each other, and each of our moms did a reading.

sarawifenow · April 2015

We did the sand ceremony and I loved it. We found a frame that had a hollow back to put the sand in and we put an engagement photo in it. I loved that thing...that is until my demon cat knocked it off of the mantle and shattered it. Do I get a do over?

littlemushroom · April 2015

We did a sand ceremony and a reading. From start to finish our ceremony was still short, but not too short. My friend's ceremony was less than 5 minutes and that was too short in pretty much everyone's minds, including the bride and groom.

DH and I love the vase from our sand ceremony. We chose the sand because it would be a pretty memento of the day that we could have displayed in our room. We also chose the sand because we we could choose colors that represented values we wanted in our marriage, like patience and trust. The deeper meaning behind it makes it extra special to us.

Other than photos, the unity sand will likely be the only memento we keep from our wedding day.

paperpusher · April 2015

Ours was short and sweet. We had many compliments because it was straight and to the point. If I could have gotten away with it I would have had it been:
do you? yes. do you? yes.
But alas, I could not get away with that.

JennyColada · April 2015

paperpusher said:
Ours was short and sweet. We had many compliments because it was straight and to the point. If I could have gotten away with it I would have had it been:
do you? yes. do you? yes.
But alas, I could not get away with that.

Why even bother with the "do you?"? Just have the officiant look at your and raise their eyebrows in a quizzical look. Then reply "yep."

WinstonsGirl · April 2015

We did a lei ceremony for our parents, rather than corsages/boutonnieres. It was kind of to symbolize a joining of families, and also to thank our parents for their support. It started off the ceremony

wandajune6 · April 2015

We broke a glass for my (Jewish) side and did the lasso for his (Mexican Catholic) side. We still finished in less than 15 minutes. Easy.

louxnoelle · April 2015

We're planning on doing a ring-warming with our families, but that will happen simultaneously to other things so as not to add on any time to the ceremony.

We're also considering doing a lock ceremony to involve his two children. I don't love the idea of exchanging vows with kids, because I think asking them to parrot things back they may not fully understand is a bit creepy. Whatever the locks end up being attached to will end up in our home somewhere, and I'd like for the kids (as well as myself and FI) to keep our keys post-ceremony as a way of saying, "It's a choice to be a part of this family, and although we have the opportunity to leave if we want to (i.e. unlock the lock), we choose each other every day."

ashley8918 · April 2015

littlemushroom said:
We did a sand ceremony and a reading. From start to finish our ceremony was still short, but not too short. My friend's ceremony was less than 5 minutes and that was too short in pretty much everyone's minds, including the bride and groom.

DH and I love the vase from our sand ceremony. We chose the sand because it would be a pretty memento of the day that we could have displayed in our room. We also chose the sand because we we could choose colors that represented values we wanted in our marriage, like patience and trust. The deeper meaning behind it makes it extra special to us.

Other than photos, the unity sand will likely be the only memento we keep from our wedding day.

Who would complain about a "too short" ceremony? This is so bizarre to me. Like, oh, you get to get he fuck up out of there and celebrate sooner? THE HORROR.

VulgarGirl · April 2015

ashley8918 said:

littlemushroom said:
We did a sand ceremony and a reading. From start to finish our ceremony was still short, but not too short. My friend's ceremony was less than 5 minutes and that was too short in pretty much everyone's minds, including the bride and groom.

DH and I love the vase from our sand ceremony. We chose the sand because it would be a pretty memento of the day that we could have displayed in our room. We also chose the sand because we we could choose colors that represented values we wanted in our marriage, like patience and trust. The deeper meaning behind it makes it extra special to us.

Other than photos, the unity sand will likely be the only memento we keep from our wedding day.
Who would complain about a "too short" ceremony? This is so bizarre to me. Like, oh, you get to get he fuck up out of there and celebrate sooner? THE HORROR.

Yeah I'm lost too. I've never been at a wedding ceremony and thought "God I hope this goes on for a longer amount of time!"

paperpusher · April 2015

JennyColada said:

paperpusher said:
Ours was short and sweet. We had many compliments because it was straight and to the point. If I could have gotten away with it I would have had it been:
do you? yes. do you? yes.
But alas, I could not get away with that.

Why even bother with the "do you?"? Just have the officiant look at your and raise their eyebrows in a quizzical look. Then reply "yep."

Where were you when I was writing the script?!

labro · April 2015

No regrets either. We just did your standard vows and ring exchange. I've been to ceremonies with extras like a wine ceremony, sand ceremony, etc. and I felt pretty meh about it.

JennyColada · April 2015

[Deleted User] · April 2015

We are going to have readings but we timed the ones we like to make sure that it's only about 5 minutes total for both. I loath unity candles / sand ceremonies so none of that. Instead we decided to sign our marriage license at the wedding; our parents will be our witnesses- way to include them and for them to "show" people they support our choice.

ETF: stuff

ShesSoCold · April 2015

We didn't do any extra stuff either. Super short ceremony. The first thing H's stepdad said to us was that it was the shortest ceremony he'd ever seen. Shrug. I thought it was pretty good for writing it in half an hour the day before. I wasn't opposed to any of the extras but none of them were "us".

We made sure the bar was open before the ceremony too. I didn't know how the room would be set up the day of and the bar was right at the end of the aisle. So after we kissed and walked away, we went directly to the bar. Lol

hellohkb · April 2015

I would like one reading, our vows, and then we leave and go eat/drink.

Did you/Will you have any rituals?

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