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Chit Chat
Confessions of a wedding etiquette nature
I think we made this thread once a month.
What etiquette rule have you broken? I'm sure there's one.
I have a really bad one. FMIL and I had been fighting non-stop about this guest list. Thankfully, we got over it, compromised and are okay again. I know I've posted about it before. Right as invites were going out, she asked to invite her cousin and her husband. I said sure, because I wasn't ready to fight again, and when you already have 200 people invited, 2 more doesn't matter much.
However, after I agreed to send the invite and FMIL told the cousin that she was invited, FMIL broke the news that this specific lady always brings her 6 grown children and their families, uninvited to other events.
BOMB DROPPED.
FMIL told me that I need to write on the invite that the invite is only for her and her husband, because she won't pick up on the fact that her entire giant family is not invited. Even if the envelope is only addressed to them. I was freaked out, and I didn't know what to do. I don't know this lady, neither does my FI.
so I wrote on the invite in pen that the invite was only for COUSINS NAME and COUSINS HUSBANDS NAME due to limited seating.
I felt sick doing it, but her RSVP came back with her only bringing her husband. I guess it worked. I think the best thing I ever did for myself is put a number attending line on my RSVPs.
I'm glad to get that off my chest. Please continue to love me, guys.
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Re: Confessions of a wedding etiquette nature
Let's see, what else....Oh, my grandma just recently realized that we left a great aunt off the guest list. I wouldn't have invited her, but she called and pulled the whole, "I'm coming to visit. I'll be staying for 3 weeks." And my grandma was all, "uhhhhhhh....That's when lurker's wedding is....your invitation must have been lost in the mail." D'oh! So, now she's coming without an invitation.
My h wore a tuxedo IN THE DAYTIME!
I'm having FI tell his mother that his young female cousins are in fact not going to be in the wedding party (as acolytes), and I don't want the ugly candlesticks that they were going to light anyway.
He's not really on board with this either, but 1. she shouldn't have assumed to ask these kids, and 2. I don't want any "wedding party" including and especially my nephew as ring bearer and if these kids are "in the wedding" it will cause more of a shit storm with my family.
He wouldn't mind having nephew as well, who will be just turning 2, "because it's not his fault" but I haven't spoken to my sister (his mother) since October and since nephew won't remember being in the wedding, I'm not having her as any part of my wedding. I think this thing between me and my sister is not his business, frankly, so it's not his or anyone else's place to tell me to get over it. 75% of my "wedding planning" has centered around this rift with my sister and I am 100% fucking over it.
I'm also not providing any guest transportation between ceremony and reception venue. Some people seem to have a problem with this.
Fi swore up and down that a few families with grown children at home would think it was weird and even offensive to receive separate invites. Wasn't a hill I wanted to die on, so those families got one invite for all of them. Everyone else still got separate invites.
When DD #3 got married we put adult only reception.
Her biomom is one of 7, her stepdad is one of 10 siblings and both sides of the family are notorious for bringing extra guests. DD and her DH wanted adult only and biomom had a BSC freak out. BSC biomom wasn't paying a penny for the wedding, DH and I were.
After many phone calls with DD in tears about the demands of all those cousins being invited along with their kids we just bit the bullet and put adult only on the invitation and I did her RSVP's by name so there was no mistaking who was invited.
I had posted for months here about the craziness and even got some love for just biting the bullet on that one.
The spouses of the bridal party did not ride in our limo to the reception. Once at the reception they were together for everything but pictures that we did after dinner. (It was 100 degrees that day. )
DH wore a tux (4:30 ceremony) and the GMs wore suits. We wanted them to be able to buy and keep a suit versus renting because logic. And DH wanted to wear a tux. His clothes - his choice.
We won't have full seating (a combo of standing high-tops and a few four tops seats for those who really can't stand for 45mins) during the cocktail hour either and we will have open seating for the rest of the evening.
We're also are doing online RSVP's...