PreWedding Race

LondonLisa · April 2015

You are free to do whatever you would like before your wedding. If you don't mind black eyes, scratches, broken whatever, getting married with muddy hair-then go for it.

However, it is beyond rude to have the attitude of "my guests can wait because I decided to be a bit silly". My issue is with the timing. On a good day, being late is almost inevitable in this situation. All it takes is a long queue for the showers, traffic, extra makeup for a bridesmaid with a bruise, or one groomsman finishing with a longer time. Also, are all of you getting ready at the same place afterwards- talk about a shower queue with no hot water! On a bad day, the wedding won't even go forward as planned because you are in hospital.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe your guests have spent a lot of money to join you on your wedding day? Maybe they got baby sitters or paid for a new outfit. Maybe they took the day off of work so they aren't being paid. Maybe they got a hotel room. In the case of the baby sitter, every minute you are late is actually costing them money.

I think your attitude is rather flippant and incredibly selfish in that respect.

So the best hashtag I can think of is #itsmydaysoIdontcareifyoupay

artbyallie · April 2015

If you truly care that little about your guests, don't invite any.

novella1186 · April 2015

Yeah my race started at 8 am. By 6 or 7 that night i was still picking mud out of my fingernails and ears until I finally gave up.

I also twisted my ankle. Not during the race or in any obstacles. The "parking lot" was a giant farm field. As we were walking back to the car, I was so exhausted from the race that I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and stepped in a rut. It hurt pretty fucking bad.

It wasn't a serious injury, but I was limping and had to ice it for a couple days before I felt normal again. In fact, I remember when we got back to our house I was so sore and tired that FI had to pick me up and put me on the ONE front step leading into our house.

No way could I have put on a pair of heels and partied all evening. Nope.

Maybe for you races are the norm, but are they the norm for your entire WP? If it's something a person isn't used to, it's way easier and more common for them to get injuries.

And if you left me-- as a guest-- waiting around for hours at your wedding while you and your WP went to the ER to get someone's ankle wrapped cuz OMG you totes needed those cool photos! I would fucking leave.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

I would MAYBE run a 5 or 10k, as long as it started early in the morning, for my 6 pm wedding. Maybe.

Running in mud the morning of? Hell no.

OP, I wish you would look at these responses and instead of seeing bullying, see people who are trying to help you and give you good advice. Making your guests sit around for you because you decided to do something unnecessary and risky the day of your wedding is horribly rude, and telling you that is not bullying. I've been bullied. Bullies do not say things with the intent to help you make better decisions.

ashley8918 · April 2015

This is a really bad idea.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

This is a really bad idea.

Stop being such a bully!

novella1186 · April 2015

flutteringinfl said:
I would MAYBE run a 5 or 10k, as long as it started early in the morning, for my 6 pm wedding. Maybe.

Running in mud the morning of? Hell no.

OP, I wish you would look at these responses and instead of seeing bullying, see people who are trying to help you and give you good advice. Making your guests sit around for you because you decided to do something unnecessary and risky the day of your wedding is horribly rude, and telling you that is not bullying. I've been bullied. Bullies do not say things with the intent to help you make better decisions.

QFT

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

Stephamaboble said:
So far the only time I have added any extra info has been to defend myself from people who opt to not add anything helpful to this. I expected this to be more helpful and less filled with people looking to troll a comment section. This was 100% an effort for me to get an idea for team names, I'm not an overly creative person when it comes to things like that and I hoped to find creative brides here.

I hope you feel proud of yourself for bullying a fellow bride, maybe that helps you with your own planning stress.

Bullshit. Your very first sentence was aggressive, stating that YOU'RE DOING THIS for your very special day no matter what anyone thinks. Your actual question was hidden in the middle. If you really only cared about a team name, all that was necessary to say was "My WP, FI and I are doing a Spartan race together! 2 miles through mud and obstacles. Any ideas on what a fun wedding-related team name would be?" Even the fact that it's the morning of your wedding is irrelevant to picking a name, so if you were truly trying to avoid input on that you would have just left it out. What you did is classic trolling.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Meh, do whatever you want.

BUT you have an obligation to start your wedding on the time you put on your invitations. If y'all didn't invite anyone, you could start whenever you wanted. But you absolutely should not tell people your wedding starts at 4:30 and then show up at 5 because you decided to mismanage your time.

I travel for most of the weddings I attend. I would be PISSED if I spent time and money to attend a wedding where the B&G showed up late (or not at all) because mud run. WTH? It's basically making a giant announcement to whoever you're inviting that: Mud Run > them.

Of course it's your super special princess day. BUT when you invite people, you have an obligation to treat them with respect. Showing up and showing up on time are components of respect.

larrygaga · April 2015

lovegood90 · April 2015

Guys, she's doing a MUD RACE. This is so obviously....MUD. Hahaha...

ETA: On the off chance it's not, OP: If I spent tons of time and money to go to your wedding and you left me waiting hours for you, I would leave, take my gift with me, and would probably have a MUCH different relationship with you going forward.

I wouldn't be dramatic and end the friendship, but you will have lost a lot of my respect and I wouldn't make much of an effort to maintain our friendship.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

I just don't get why you MUST do this race on your wedding day? Like why? What will you gain from this.

And sweetie my wedding started at 4:30pm. Me and my two bridesmaids started getting our hair and makeup done at 8:30am. So unless you plan on doing a simple blowout and minimal make up then you will not have enough time to get ready.

Also, if you kept me waiting at your wedding site because of a fucking mud run I would be beyond pissed. It wasn't like you are stuck in traffic because an 18 wheeler jack knifed on the highway. You are voluntarily doing something that could make you late to your wedding. Rude, rude, rude.

climbingsingle · April 2015

Telling you that your idea is horrible is not bullying. And yes, this is a horrifically bad idea. I've now planned and been through 2 weddings. Trust me - you don't want to do this the day of your wedding.

ohannabelle · April 2015

I have seen many weddings happen, from set up to clean up.

I have yet to see one, no matter how carefully planned, with an excess of spare time.

Not one.

novella1186 · April 2015

Maggie0829 said:
I just don't get why you MUST do this race on your wedding day? Like why? What will you gain from this.

And sweetie my wedding started at 4:30pm. Me and my two bridesmaids started getting our hair and makeup done at 8:30am. So unless you plan on doing a simple blowout and minimal make up then you will not have enough time to get ready.

Also, if you kept me waiting at your wedding site because of a fucking mud run I would be beyond pissed. It wasn't like you are stuck in traffic because an 18 wheeler jack knifed on the highway. You are voluntarily doing something that could make you late to your wedding. Rude, rude, rude.

Because, photos!!!

huskypuppy14 · April 2015

I'm looking at this purely from a logistics standpoint. You won't have enough time.

It starts at 9:30 am, so let's say it takes 2 hours (have no idea if I'm over or underestimating). Now it's 11:30am. You have to get to your car potentially wash off quickly before getting in the car, so say it's 12. Now you have to drive 30 minutes back to your house to get ready. 12:30.

You're probably starving, so you'll have to order lunch for your wedding party. Everyone had to shower. Where is everyone showering? Eating and showering just for you, it's now 1:30 (this is way underestimating).

Hair and makeup for the bride takes about 2 hours total, maybe less. So now we're at 3:30. You have to get into your dress, maybe take a few pictures and get to the venue for 4:30. You could probably do it if everything worked out perfectly, but this isn't taking into account the rest of your wedding party.

It's a bad idea.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

novella1186 said:

Maggie0829 said:
I just don't get why you MUST do this race on your wedding day? Like why? What will you gain from this.

And sweetie my wedding started at 4:30pm. Me and my two bridesmaids started getting our hair and makeup done at 8:30am. So unless you plan on doing a simple blowout and minimal make up then you will not have enough time to get ready.

Also, if you kept me waiting at your wedding site because of a fucking mud run I would be beyond pissed. It wasn't like you are stuck in traffic because an 18 wheeler jack knifed on the highway. You are voluntarily doing something that could make you late to your wedding. Rude, rude, rude.
Because, photos!!!

Well if it is all for photos then she should run the race in her wedding dress and her FI in his tux. Now that would make for some awesome photos.

redoryx · April 2015

Stephamaboble said:
Alright let's do the explaining part. It's at 930am and the wedding is at 430pm, the race is 30 minutes from my house and the wedding location is 5 minutes from my house, this is their first college one and it's only 2 miles with 15 obstacles. My fiance and I do several spartan races throughout the year that range from 5 miles to 12 miles, we seriously love this stuff. My hairstylist already approved me doing this, if I get scratched up or bruised so be it, I went to my junior prom with paintball bruises on my arm. I could honestly get married covered in mud and bleeding and all that would matter is that weird man I'm marrying. All of our set up will be done the day before. My photographer is currently trying to get permission from Spartan to take photos of us doing the race for the wedding book, which would be amazing.

I've spent all day doing Seneca 7 (7 people do a 77.7 mile relay race around seneca lake) so I think a quick little spartan race to start our day will be fine. If we get injured I'm sure people won't mind waiting around enjoying the food and drinks while we have a little hospital adventure.

Now back to the question at hand, team names!!!

I'm a runner. I'm currently training for my 3rd half so I understand how much you love this sort of thing and how important it is to you and your FI.

That said, I'd be I'd be fucking PISSED if you made me wait just so you could go and do this bullshit and didn't manage your time appropriately and/or didn't have a plan in place in case there were injuries or whatever. And I say that as someone who understands that rush so don't assume your friends and family who don't run will be so forgiving.

Look, I understand wanting to feel like a bad ass right before your wedding. But don't let wanting to be a bad ass turn you into just being an ass.

flutteringinfl · April 2015

Also, do they corral the contestants? If so, do you know how long they wait between corrals, and which one you'll be in? Just because the race starts at a certain time doesn't mean you will. At the race I ran in Feb, it started at 5:30 but I didn't start running until a little after 6.

I mean, we're not the wedding cops. You can do what you want and no one will take you to wedding jail. But this sounds like it will create unnecessary stress for you and your bridal party and potentially create a poor etiquette situation.

Isn't it awesome that a board like this exists, where users help each other out by recommending they avoid bad ideas? Isn't it great that a bunch of internet strangers care whether you have a happy wedding day where you aren't stressed out unnecessarily and don't put your guests in an awkward situation?

If you answered, "No!" to any of the above questions, then this might not be the board for you.

NowIAmSyp · April 2015

Girl, please, please listen to reason- there have been many voices of it in this thread. You get ONE DAY- why don't you enjoy it and relax and just get ready for the wedding? You can run a mud race any time

Just my story, too- I ran Muddarella last year- I got so dehydrated (totally my fault for not drinking enough water) that I gave myself a killer migraine. As in- throwing up in the back seat of the car on the way home, could barely shower the mud off me, couldn't get off the couch for 24 hours- migraine. God FORBID, what if something like that happened to you?

Please, please rethink this.

louxnoelle · April 2015

Maggie0829 said:

novella1186 said:

Maggie0829 said:
I just don't get why you MUST do this race on your wedding day? Like why? What will you gain from this.

And sweetie my wedding started at 4:30pm. Me and my two bridesmaids started getting our hair and makeup done at 8:30am. So unless you plan on doing a simple blowout and minimal make up then you will not have enough time to get ready.

Also, if you kept me waiting at your wedding site because of a fucking mud run I would be beyond pissed. It wasn't like you are stuck in traffic because an 18 wheeler jack knifed on the highway. You are voluntarily doing something that could make you late to your wedding. Rude, rude, rude.
Because, photos!!!
Well if it is all for photos then she should run the race in her wedding dress and her FI in his tux. Now that would make for some awesome photos.

Do one in the days following your wedding for a trash-the-dress, if you're into that.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

louxnoelle said:

Maggie0829 said:

novella1186 said:

Maggie0829 said:
I just don't get why you MUST do this race on your wedding day? Like why? What will you gain from this.

And sweetie my wedding started at 4:30pm. Me and my two bridesmaids started getting our hair and makeup done at 8:30am. So unless you plan on doing a simple blowout and minimal make up then you will not have enough time to get ready.

Also, if you kept me waiting at your wedding site because of a fucking mud run I would be beyond pissed. It wasn't like you are stuck in traffic because an 18 wheeler jack knifed on the highway. You are voluntarily doing something that could make you late to your wedding. Rude, rude, rude.
Because, photos!!!
Well if it is all for photos then she should run the race in her wedding dress and her FI in his tux. Now that would make for some awesome photos.
Do one in the days following your wedding for a trash-the-dress, if you're into that.

Why do it following the wedding? I mean if this race is so important then she may as well just "trash the dress" before the wedding so that everyone will know just how bad ass and hardcore she is and how much she doesn't care what she looks like at her wedding. And showing up in a muddy wedding dress will make her guests no longer care that they had to stand around and wait because they were running late.

levioosa · April 2015

Omg, this idea is just...horrible. I'm pretty sure OP is a troll, but if she isn't...

Last fall my SO's brother did the Tough Mudder out in Temecula. We were up at 6 to make his 7:30 start time. He didn't up starting his run until 8:30 because of the way the logistics worked out for the run (corralled groups). He did it in record time, and it still took him almost three hours (average time was closer to 4 hours). He was beat up, bruised, and exhausted. SO and I didn't even do the run, but we ran around the course to watch him do the obstacles, and between that and the brutal sun, we were done by the end too. We didn't even go out that night because we were so tired (and, despite putting on sunscreen constantly, I got super sunburned).

That was all on a day where we had nothing better to do. I can't even imagine trying to squeeze a wedding in. The last wedding I was in, we started doing makeup at 7am for a 5 pm wedding and somehow we still ran behind schedule. No idea how, but it happened. You are living in a fantasy land if you think this will all work out well. This is a horrible, terrible, no good idea, OP. And the flippant attitude of "my guests will wait!" is disgusting. They are traveling to see you get married and spending a lot of money to do so. Spoiler alert, if you're getting married and inviting guests, the day ceases to be about you and becomes about them. If you have a "fuck you" attitude towards your guests, then don't have any. Do this the day before, or the day after. There is zero reason for you to do it on the day of.

flantastic · April 2015

I saw this when she posted it last night and was just, "Oh.... I don't have time for this shit."

chibiyui · April 2015

Logistically this race starts way too late for you to have enough time to get ready for your wedding.

If this started at like, 7 a.m. I'd say it was a bit close but you do you.

But 9:30? Girl, unless you and your H and your wedding party are the first to every obstacle, you guys aren't getting out of there till 11 or later.

Keep in mind other posters (including myself) have posted that we started hair at 8 a.m for 3-5 o'clock weddings. Unless you and everyone else in the party is doing wash and blow dry and done, there is no way you're going to get ready in time.

redoryx · April 2015

chibiyui said:Logistically this race starts way too late for you to have enough time to get ready for your wedding.
If this started at like, 7 a.m. I'd say it was a bit close but you do you.
But 9:30? Girl, unless you and your H and your wedding party are the first to every obstacle, you guys aren't getting out of there till 11 or later.
Keep in mind other posters (including myself) have posted that we started hair at 8 a.m for 3-5 o'clock weddings. Unless you and everyone else in the party is doing wash and blow dry and done, there is no way you're going to get ready in time.**boxes boxes**

Not only that, but chances are the wedding party all run at different paces and have different levels of athleticism. When estimating time to finish you have to go by the time of the slowest person in your group, not the fastest.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

redoryx said:

chibiyui said:
Logistically this race starts way too late for you to have enough time to get ready for your wedding.

If this started at like, 7 a.m. I'd say it was a bit close but you do you.

But 9:30? Girl, unless you and your H and your wedding party are the first to every obstacle, you guys aren't getting out of there till 11 or later.

Keep in mind other posters (including myself) have posted that we started hair at 8 a.m for 3-5 o'clock weddings. Unless you and everyone else in the party is doing wash and blow dry and done, there is no way you're going to get ready in time.
**boxes boxes**

Not only that, but chances are the wedding party all run at different paces and have different levels of athleticism. When estimating time to finish you have to go by the time of the slowest person in your group, not the fastest.

But they LOVE HER so they'll run FAST. Duh.

OwningAHome1981 · April 2015

Mud run sounds awesome! Can I come?

No idea for team name, but I want to say how awesome that sounds, have fun & good luck & congrats on your wedding!

esstee33 · April 2015

flantastic said:
I saw this when she posted it last night and was just, "Oh.... I don't have time for this shit."

Neither does she. What a coincidence!

jacques27 · April 2015

Time and time again, I really want to just make a flow-chart that is posted on the top of every board.

Do you have a specific question to be answered?
Yes - Ask it
No - Get a LiveJournal

Do you ONLY want your specific question answered or are you open to commentary about everything else in your life or this situation?
Only Specific Question - Then only ask your specific question - stop posting irrelevant details if you're going to get butthurt over it.
Open to Commentary - Post away, but remember you put it out there into a public forum - no crying butthurt after the fact.

Do you understand the definition of bullying?
Yes - Post away!
No - Back away from the board and really all of the internet.

Have school systems really just failed the art of summarizing and how to tell what is relevant vs. irrelevant? Or are people really that narcissistic and attention seeking that they think strangers actually want to hear about the minutiae of their lives?

If all you want are names, then all you needed to write is "My FI and I have decided to participate in an obstacle course event. I would like to tie our team name into our upcoming wedding somehow. Any ideas for a cute wedding-themed name for our team?" Boom. Done. Heck, even the middle sentence might be superfluous.

All the extraneous details means either the OP lacks the ability to edit or enjoys attention-seeking and trolling - which one is it?

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