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Let someone know their breach of etiquette?

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Re: Let someone know their breach of etiquette?

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Your back has nothing to do with it. Her behavior has everything to do with it. 

    Honestly, this is kind of a novel. I would cut it down to a few sentences:

    "Yes. I took time and money to purchase a birthday gift for your son and you publicly shamed me for it on a facebook. It was hurtful and ungrateful."

    She'll probably come back with some bullshit about her registry and that it all could have been avoided if you just stuck to the list. To which I would say:

    "Again, we took time and money to attend the party and give a gift. We are allowed to give whatever we want. If you don't like the gift, you should at least be polite about it."
    *********************************************************************************

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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I remember this horrible girl. 
    We had twin backs that week, and the trip to Target to buy the toy was your first day up and walking.
    I had serious back pain sympathy rage. Fuck her, she asked. Truth time.

    I do agree with all the excellent editing that's going on, and leaving the back out of it. 
    Short, factual, and straight to the point. Much more powerful writing.  A hard cold slap of a message.

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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:

    ohannabelle said:

    I remember this horrible girl. 

    We had twin backs that week, and the trip to Target to buy the toy was your first day up and walking.
    I had serious back pain sympathy rage. Fuck her, she asked. Truth time.

    I do agree with all the excellent editing that's going on, and leaving the back out of it. 
    Short, factual, and straight to the point. Much more powerful writing.  A hard cold slap of a message.

    I have to say, you have a way of crafting words that is astoundingly beautiful. Even the bolded is a powerful statement, but stated so simply. I am jealous of you! 
    What a nice writerly thing to say!  Thank you. (It's also a good reminder to me not to be so damned verbose, because, yes I do.) 
    I really enjoyed watching the editing happening in this thread. 
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2015
    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    omg. What a horrendous bitch! She has "talked to everyone" about you? Yeah. My sister uses lines like that. Ya know what? That's what people say when they're desperate to prove their side but know they're wrong. If you have to depend on these mystery "others" to back you up, then you got nothin'. Fuck her. 
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  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    southernbelle0915 said:

    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    I'd probably just reply: "Annnnndddd this is why I unfriended you. Thanks for confirming my decision." And then I would never reply to her or bother with her ever again.
    YUUUUUUUUUUP.

    Unfriend and block both the hubby and the lady. You have no need for that much bullshit in your life.
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    ohannabelle said:

    ohannabelle said:

    I remember this horrible girl. 

    We had twin backs that week, and the trip to Target to buy the toy was your first day up and walking.
    I had serious back pain sympathy rage. Fuck her, she asked. Truth time.

    I do agree with all the excellent editing that's going on, and leaving the back out of it. 
    Short, factual, and straight to the point. Much more powerful writing.  A hard cold slap of a message.

    I have to say, you have a way of crafting words that is astoundingly beautiful. Even the bolded is a powerful statement, but stated so simply. I am jealous of you! 
    What a nice writerly thing to say!  Thank you. (It's also a good reminder to me not to be so damned verbose, because, yes I do.) 
    I really enjoyed watching the editing happening in this thread. 
    ----------box--------------------------------------------------------


    Me too! The struggle is real. One of my grad school professors gave me a great line when he found out I write, and he gave me permission to use it lol: "I would have written less but I ran out of time." 
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  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.
    omg. What a horrendous bitch! She has "talked to everyone" about you? Yeah. My sister uses lines like that. Ya know what? That's what people say when they're desperate to prove their side but know they're wrong. If you have to depend on these mystery "others" to back you up, then you got nothin'. Fuck her. 

    Ding Ding Ding!  Yes!  Ugh, I hate that. 

    And OP, I am so sorry.  I was truly hoping this would go the other way and she would "see the light."  I love the idea of writing back "and this is why I unfriended you" lol.  And at this point, yeah, I would block her, too.  
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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    Well alright then.

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  • arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    southernbelle0915 said:

    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    I'd probably just reply: "Annnnndddd this is why I unfriended you. Thanks for confirming my decision." And then I would never reply to her or bother with her ever again.


    This!

    And then I would block her and her husband on Facebook.

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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    Holy hell. 
    There just aren't words for this level of entitled assholery. 
    A perfect example of the kind of friendships that need to be ended. Nobody needs a person like this In their life. 
    (SouthernBelle is seriously on target today. Perfect answer. 10 points.)
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Wow. You both should cut these people out of your life entirely. I thought she was ridiculous back when you posted the first thread. My jaw dropped (again) at her response.
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  • swiftsticksswiftsticks member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    ...to apologize for his ungrateful wife, I would hope. Did he just parrot the same thing that she had said?

    @themuffinman16, what does your DH think about this situation? I know this is between you and DH's friend's wife, but it looks like everyone is getting pulled in.


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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2015
    I told H I will tell him about it when he gets home.  He is working in Boston, right now, and I don't want to bother him with this bullshit at work.  He told me it was meant as a joke.  Everyone handles this woman with kid gloves, he constantly has to smooth things over on fb for her.  that is why she acts the way she does, she has a one man 24 hour team of picking up the messes she makes. It was funny that he said she was just joking, and then after he wrote to me, she insulted me for not having a job in a backhanded way and told me to maybe go shopping at a boutique store for her son, to avoid this accident.  Funny joke.
    swiftsticks said:

    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    ...to apologize for his ungrateful wife, I would hope. Did he just parrot the same thing that she had said?

    @themuffinman16, what does your DH think about this situation? I know this is between you and DH's friend's wife, but it looks like everyone is getting pulled in.



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  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Looks like your DH can spend time with these two without you from here on out.
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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    themuffinman16 said:

    I told H I will tell him about it when he gets home.  He is working in Boston, right now, and I don't want to bother him with this bullshit at work.  He told me it was meant as a joke.  Everyone handles this woman with kid gloves, he constantly has to smooth things over on fb for her.  that is why she acts the way she does, she has a one man 24 hour team of picking up the messes she makes. It was funny that he said she was just joking, and then after he wrote to me, she insulted me for not having a job in a backhanded way and told me to maybe go shopping at a boutique store for her son, to avoid this accident.  Funny joke.

    swiftsticks said:

    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    ...to apologize for his ungrateful wife, I would hope. Did he just parrot the same thing that she had said?

    @themuffinman16, what does your DH think about this situation? I know this is between you and DH's friend's wife, but it looks like everyone is getting pulled in.



    Can you re-friend her for 5 minutes to post "Fuck Off" on her wall then block her. I mean since she feels the need to air things publicly...
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Wow, she's a piece of work. It takes a special kind of crazy to get upset at you that you're upset after they treated you like crap.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2015
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Wow. She is crazy! I remember reading your first post, and if I recall correctly, you picked out that toy because her kid loooooves Batman. How much more thoughtful with a toy can you get?

    And boutique stores, really? Even those stores sell multiples of a single item.
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  • mklammklam member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    Oh my blood just boiled at that. You are a much better person than I am for handling this so well!
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mklam said:

    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    Oh my blood just boiled at that. You are a much better person than I am for handling this so well!
    I find it obnoxious every single time someone puts a dictionary definition in anything in order to make a point. It's so dismissive. If you genuinely think someone might be misunderstanding you, have a damn discussion about connotations and denotations of the word.
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  • mklammklam member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    flantastic said:

    mklam said:

    themuffinman16 said:

    She told me it was a joke, and then wrote the definition of sense of humor and all synonyms. She told me, she has talked to everyone about me, and they all want to know what MY problem is.  She said she has to put her big girl panties on and work like all adults do (I have not bothered to get a job until I can manage my back pain... because I would be worthless to an employer, at this point). She also said that maybe I should have gone to a boutique store to get her son a unique gift so I wouldn't have had that accident. Wow. Just wow.  Then her husband contacted me. Why did I bother.  Yeah.

    Oh my blood just boiled at that. You are a much better person than I am for handling this so well!
    I find it obnoxious every single time someone puts a dictionary definition in anything in order to make a point. It's so dismissive. If you genuinely think someone might be misunderstanding you, have a damn discussion about connotations and denotations of the word.
    Exactly! This drives me crazy. I can read a damn dictionary if I'm confused about the meaning. Otherwise, you're being so condescending and patronizing that I just won't be able to talk to you anymore... ever.
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