So I know I've complained before about how hard it is to deal with FMIL, but this ones had me frustrate for about a month. Kind of long so te short version-FMIL is a pushy judgmental racist bitch and in trying not to strangle her.
She came over for Passover last month and was on a roll. She was insistent that we push the wedding up to this August since we've been taking forever. I was out of work for awhile and now FI is taking a turn on unemployment so planning a big wedding had been on the back burner.
I skipped bean dipping and flat out told her that we are shooting for next march and August was not even up for discussion. Apparently this means I don't care if any of her family can come. She is holding a 10 year memorial for FI's late grandmother and everyone will be in town in August. 1) while I know its not my day I don't want to share the day or weekend with a memorial service 2) only one person who will be in town is close enough to FI to be on the guest list.
After this conversation was over she decided to top herself and tell me if FI doesn't find a job in the next few months I need to call off the engagement. If he can't provide for me there is no reason to stay with him. Again no bean dip just told her that I have never been in this for the money and if I have to support us and pay for the wedding I'm ok with that and none of this is any of her concern. She brought it up again and FI told her to STFU or leave.
The last and worst straw was at the end of the night before bed. She saw a picture of my friend's daughter and asked who it was. I told her and she said she was lucky she's cute for a mulatto baby which is at least something. FI had to hold me back while I lost my crap and her defense was she wasn't implying all black people are ignorant she was referring to Oakland black people. Guess what my "niece" lives in Oakland. I honestly have no clue what I said because I went off and FI told her she needed to be gone in the morning.
I have spent a month ignoring her calls, texts, everything. FI finally picked up the other day and she was furious at me because not answering has prevented her from knowing when FSSs baseball games are. He explained why and her version of an apology was "I'm sorry afox is so sensitive. I have black friends I just like to joke about the stereotype."
At this point we are keeping her at a distance until we can handle seeing her without hitting her. I just don't know how I can go forward and just brush that night off.