Wedding day transportation?

goblue111315 · March 2015

Yeah, I think this whole thing is going to be an ongoing (re-)consideration. However, I DID say that we have indoor locations in mind as well, just to point that out. I think I just need to put it to bed for a little while and come back to it later with a fresh mind. I don't feel satisfied with even the more recent timeline I posted due to yours and other people's concerns that have been mentioned. I think I'm just antsy to have a solution.

ETA: I hope people would have more fun if we were in traffic in traffic in a comfortable bus (this isn't a school bus...it's a luxury bus), not stressed about driving, having a few drinks and chatting! I thought the bus would be more convenient and LESS stressful.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

goblue111315 said:
Yeah, I think this whole thing is going to be an ongoing (re-)consideration. However, I DID say that we have indoor locations in mind as well, just to point that out. I think I just need to put it to bed for a little while and come back to it later with a fresh mind. I don't feel satisfied with even the more recent timeline I posted due to yours and other people's concerns that have been mentioned. I think I'm just antsy to have a solution.

ETA: I hope people would have more fun if we were in traffic in traffic in a comfortable bus (this isn't a school bus...it's a luxury bus), not stressed about driving, having a few drinks and chatting! I thought the bus would be more convenient and LESS stressful.

I like your outlook. I think once you consider logistics, your priorities, and then what actually makes sense for your guests of honor (that's your WP and family), you'll find a way that makes sense for everyone.

And I agree with you the bus will be less stressful - I'd make sure it's packed with drinks. But I agree with MGP that you should avoid rush hour traffic if at all possible.

MGP · March 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

goblue111315 said:
Yeah, I think this whole thing is going to be an ongoing (re-)consideration. However, I DID say that we have indoor locations in mind as well, just to point that out. I think I just need to put it to bed for a little while and come back to it later with a fresh mind. I don't feel satisfied with even the more recent timeline I posted due to yours and other people's concerns that have been mentioned. I think I'm just antsy to have a solution.

ETA: I hope people would have more fun if we were in traffic in traffic in a comfortable bus (this isn't a school bus...it's a luxury bus), not stressed about driving, having a few drinks and chatting! I thought the bus would be more convenient and LESS stressful.
I like your outlook. I think once you consider logistics, your priorities, and then what actually makes sense for your guests of honor (that's your WP and family), you'll find a way that makes sense for everyone.

And I agree with you the bus will be less stressful - I'd make sure it's packed with drinks. But I agree with MGP that you should avoid rush hour traffic if at all possible.

You WILL get beautiful pictures, you may need to compromise a little. But PLEASE avoid rush hour. What if there was a pileup on the highway and you arrive late to the reception? That would suck!

lovegood90 · March 2015

goblue111315 said:
I know everyone means well and wants to breed good hostesses, and I want to be one, I swear! I do like that timeline from @southernbelle0915, but it goes back to the previous problem of it being dark after the ceremony, so probably not the best time for photos. That was also something I forgot about when initially planning for possible post-ceremony pictures. What we've come up with now is the following:

1-1:30 - first look at the hotel/reception venue

1:30 - 3:00 - Party bus pick-up and bridal party photos around town, which we've decided on two locations (this would probably be less than an hour of actually taking photos; time would be spent just getting around with Friday afternoon city traffic. We'd supply beer and snacks and music in the transportation for the WP.)

3:00 - 3:45 - family/WP church photos

3:45 - 4:30 - "hiding" (as our photographer puts it; basically going into our separate rooms to "freshen up" and all that at the church before the ceremony begins and guests start arriving)

5:30 - 6:30 - back on the party bus for champagne and celebrating with our nearest and dearest ("favorites" I suppose) and have bus drop off at the reception at 6:30

This would allow us to rent a party bus for five hours, and gives us some wiggle room in the timeline. Yes, my initial question was about transportation and if we decide day of that hey, we don't need to be on the party bus this early and everyone wants more time to get ready, then that's okay too! Or we'd rather it take us straight to the reception from the church rather than having "hang out time," we can do that too. Yes, we'll have paid for it, but I don't think that'll be my concern that day. WP's dates would be more than welcome on the bus before and after the ceremony (although I can see how it would be really not fun for them beforehand). It seems like some waiting around for them is inevitable, but at least if the waiting is before the ceremony, they can hang out in the hotel or at their houses, go to work if they're local, and sort of go about their day as normal until the ceremony starts at 4:30.

Thanks again!

How is this any different than your first timeline? You're still putting your wedding party through 2 hours an 15 minutes of unnecessary riding around and photos, and you're still doing the party bus thing while the rest of your guests are at cocktail hour. I know you mean well, but it really sounds like you're putting your photo vision above everyone's comfort. I really don't see how this "new" timeline is any different.

lovegood90 · March 2015

Wait, this is a Friday wedding?? Yeah, sorry but no way in HELL would I be taking a day off work if I was in your WP just so you can have pretty pictures. Again, I know you mean well but you need to seriously take a step back and scrap this party-bus-3-hrs-pictures plan.

I would arrive 30 mins before your ceremony if I was your BM and then be on my way to cocktail hr after if there were no photos, and if you had a problem with that, oh well.

goblue111315 · March 2015

It won't be rush hour when we're doing pictures, just city traffic. Yes, it will be rush hour between the ceremony and reception, which is why we're giving ourselves and our guests time to get from one place to the other. Every single person in our wedding party was consulted about the Friday wedding and not one has a problem taking a day off work (and were actually very enthusiastic about it) to share in our day, the same way we would do for them! I would have absolutely no issue if I was in a WP and had to take a day off work. Weddings are FUN. Honestly everyone is making it sound like being in a WP is a huge chore, burden, and inconvenience. To me, 2 hours of pictures and hanging out in a luxury bus before the ceremony with good friends sounds like the best way to hang out with the B&G as a member of the WP! If people did not want to do that, like you said @lovegood90, that would be their prerogative and they could show up at the church for the just ceremony if they wanted. They simply wouldn't be in pictures, and that's cool with me. The new timeline is not THAT different, I acknowledge that, but I did shorten things by an hour from my original post.

I truly do not want to inconvenience people or force them to do things they don't want to do, like people are suggesting. I don't have a "vision" for pictures that I'm putting over people's comfort. Like I've said several times, according to my photographer and married friends, that's just what people do, and 2 hours is normal for pictures. And the fact that we're providing the transportation has just seemed like a bonus to people we've asked in real life.

We're taking all of this into consideration. Thanks again.

lovegood90 · March 2015

goblue111315 said:
It won't be rush hour when we're doing pictures, just city traffic. Yes, it will be rush hour between the ceremony and reception, which is why we're giving ourselves and our guests time to get from one place to the other. Every single person in our wedding party was consulted about the Friday wedding and not one has a problem taking a day off work (and were actually very enthusiastic about it) to share in our day, the same way we would do for them! And that's great, but not everyone has the luxury of being able to take a vacation day for a wedding/not everyone wants to. You could be my own sister or mother and I wouldn't take a vacation day for your wedding because I have those saved up for other things. And that does not make me a bad friend/sister/daughter.
I would have absolutely no issue if I was in a WP and had to take a day off work. Weddings are FUN. Honestly everyone is making it sound like being in a WP is a huge chore, burden, and inconvenience. To me, 2 hours of pictures and hanging out in a luxury bus before the ceremony with good friends sounds like the best way to hang out with the B&G as a member of the WP! Of course weddings are fun! No one has ever said on here that it's a chore to be in the WP. What people ARE saying is that 2.5 hrs of pictures, going to multiple locations, AND being out in the cold for these pictures, when none of this even includes the time for the ceremony and reception is a LOT to ask of people, and yes it does make you come off selfish and like your vision is more important. It is a LOT to ask, and I'm not a mean, "wah being in the WP is a chore" person for calling it out.
If people did not want to do that, like you said @lovegood90, that would be their prerogative and they could show up at the church for the just ceremony if they wanted. They simply wouldn't be in pictures, and that's cool with me. The new timeline is not THAT different, I acknowledge that, but I did shorten things by an hour from my original post.

I truly do not want to inconvenience people or force them to do things they don't want to do, like people are suggesting. I don't have a "vision" for pictures that I'm putting over people's comfort. But that's exactly what you're doing, sorry. If you didn't have a vision then you wouldn't have all these locations and specific times of day that you need to do these photos. You wouldn't be having people take off work, schlep them to multiple locations and stand in the cold if it wasn't for the pictures, aka your "vision". How do you not get this?
Like I've said several times, according to my photographer and married friends, that's just what people do, and 2 hours is normal for pictures. Yes, but you've already acknowledged previously (unless I'm getting this thread confused with another) that you know "just because others do it/it's how it's done, doesn't mean it's not rude/inconvenient/etc." And the fact that we're providing the transportation has just seemed like a bonus to people we've asked in real life.

We're taking all of this into consideration. Thanks again.

MGP · March 2015

goblue111315 said:
It won't be rush hour when we're doing pictures, just city traffic. Yes, it will be rush hour between the ceremony and reception, which is why we're giving ourselves and our guests time to get from one place to the other. Every single person in our wedding party was consulted about the Friday wedding and not one has a problem taking a day off work (and were actually very enthusiastic about it) to share in our day, the same way we would do for them! I would have absolutely no issue if I was in a WP and had to take a day off work. Weddings are FUN. Honestly everyone is making it sound like being in a WP is a huge chore, burden, and inconvenience. To me, 2 hours of pictures and hanging out in a luxury bus before the ceremony with good friends sounds like the best way to hang out with the B&G as a member of the WP! If people did not want to do that, like you said @lovegood90, that would be their prerogative and they could show up at the church for the just ceremony if they wanted. They simply wouldn't be in pictures, and that's cool with me. The new timeline is not THAT different, I acknowledge that, but I did shorten things by an hour from my original post.

I truly do not want to inconvenience people or force them to do things they don't want to do, like people are suggesting. I don't have a "vision" for pictures that I'm putting over people's comfort. Like I've said several times, according to my photographer and married friends, that's just what people do, and 2 hours is normal for pictures. And the fact that we're providing the transportation has just seemed like a bonus to people we've asked in real life.

We're taking all of this into consideration. Thanks again.

Just because it's done doesn't make it kind, considerate, and polite. And hopefully this is your goal.

Again, if you are part of the inner circle of course it's fun! But it is not as fun and burdensome for everyone else. People sacrifice a lot of time, money, and energy to attend a wedding and to make them unnecessarily wait around is extremely disrespectful.

To throw another wrench in this timeline - you have allotted plenty of time to spend with your wedding party and family, when do you plan on greeting the rest of your guests? Literally you have not given yourself one minute to focus on anyone other than yourself or your "favorites" until the end of the day. With a 15 person wedding party I am figuring you have a large-ish guest list. Putting you at the reception by 7:00 (because you WILL get caught in traffic) doesn't leave much time to mingle, plus eat, dance, and cut the cake. If you cannot find the time to personally and individually thank your guests because you have prioritized 6 hours prior to that for pictures and whatnot - you have NO business getting married.

Seriously how old are you?

flantastic · March 2015

I skimmed, admittedly.

We had a bus, on a Saturday. We went to our first location by ourselves and took our own pictures without forcing the WP along. We didn't spend that long making our bus rounds, and we also didn't make getting to photogenic locations a priority, so that people could spend more of this time on partying on the bus and less on picture logistics/traipsing around in dresses. Our photog came on the bus and I love some of those shots.

I've also been the WP date on a bus where most people were the B&G's friends and I was the BIL's date. Didn't know many of those people, or had maybe met them once. It was awkward, but it was also a gap, so my choices were spend time on the bus or spend time with FMIL, so I chose bus. They did take a long time with pictures, tried to get to a lot of locations, and most of what went on was me standing around while they took a bunch of pictures. It really was not fun and I know H himself would have had more fun if there had been more bus time and less wandering-around-parks time. Cut it down. You don't need all those pictures and it's not worth the hassle to the people you care about.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2015

I've been a BM in 10+ weddings. After about 10mins of pictures, we are all pretty much over them. It's not that much fun to be posed in picture after picture after picture.

I'd rather not spend 3+ hours schlepping all over the earth to take pictures that will likely never see the light of day. Yes, it's fun to drink and BS and goof off in party bus. . . but not having to be interrupted a million times to take pictures in the cold.

You know what else also makes weddings fun? The reception. Please just let your WP, who are supposed to be your closest friends, head to the reception and enjoy themselves.

MandyMost · March 2015

Others have mentioned most of this, but I think they're worth stressing:

Think about what pictures you really want, and why. Essentially, what are you going to want to hang on the wall in your house, or what do you want to look at in an album in 20 years, and show your grandkids in 40 years? Yes, you may need to take a few hundred pics in order to get 5 worth putting on someone's wall...but you can easily do that at not too many locations.
The reason you rarely see a bridal party/couple arrive at the cocktail hour immediately after the reception is that they are taking pictures. If you get the pics out of the way early, there is really no reason to not go straight to the reception. Honestly, it seems like you're throwing a VIP cocktail hour in a bus, and a regular cocktail hour at the venue. And that seems weird. Just take the bus straight to the cocktail hour, you'll still get that few minutes alone with your wedding party on the way there.
Think about all the fun that is to be had at the cocktail hour and reception. And think about all the other days in your life where you started partying at around 1pm...if you were still up and partying at 11pm, do you remember it? ;-) You don't want people to be tired by the time your reception rolls around!
The best times to rent a party bus are when you can party...not when you have to stay as sober as possible and see your grandparents after, and be photographed for posterity. So, how about a bachelorette party, or a coed bacherlor/bachelorette party, etc?
The pictures you choose to hang on your wall are going to be the ones where you look happiest and look your best. You don't need multiple locations for this! Seriously, you have 3 locations by default: 1) hotel, 2) one outdoor location around town, and 3) at the ceremony space pre-ceremony.
Choose a shuttle bus, or limos, or something where you can all still travel together but that doesn't include booze. Allow your bridesmaids and groomsmen to all get dressed (or finish getting dressed) while you are doing your first look at the hotel. Then everyone can go to one location and take some pictures. Then everyone can go to the ceremony and take some pictures. And then everyone can "hide" together before the ceremony starts.

A timeline would look like this:

1-1:30pm--first look at hotel

1:30pm-2pm--transportation to one location for bridal party pics (assuming traffic, because it would be silly to pick a location not nearby)

2pm--2:30pm--Pictures. Seriously, it shouldn't take more than a half hour to get 4 photos: bride and bridesmaids, groom and groomsmen, couple only, everyone together.

2:30-3pm-travel to ceremony space

3-3:30pm-Take family pictures, and more couple pictures. (note, bridal party has to sit around totally bored during this).

3:30pm--hide for ceremony, freshen up. (note: bridal party is still sitting around bored)

4:30pm--ceremony starts

A timeline like that still gives you a LOT of wiggle room if some pictures take a little longer. And it's going to be a LONG hour waiting for the ceremony to start.

bellefemme12 · April 2015

Ya, I've only been a bridesmaid once and I disliked waiting around to take pictures. I had to leave my FH and other friends who weren't in the wedding party for a good 30-45 min to wait for our pics to be taken. True, we weren't on a party bus, but I'd much rather enjoy the yummy cocktail hour appetizers and drinks with all the other guests, than being at a "VIP happy hour" on a bus in some traffiic.

Jen4948 · May 2015

If you really don't want to inconvenience people at your wedding, then you need to get rid of that big gap between the ceremony and reception and eliminate the mobile happy hour. Just ride directly from the ceremony venue to the reception venue in the limo and don't stop at other locations for photos. Otherwise, by keeping your guests waiting for a very prolonged period of time for you to show up, inconveniencing them is exactly what you're doing.

Wedding day transportation?

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