nwr...nervous as hell

Chipmunk415 · May 2015

Fucking hell, I think I might be pregnant.

I went off the pill for 2 months due to pharmacy screw ups. Dh and I havent exactly been careful. I'm 5 weeks post my last cycle.

Dont get me wrong, I want children and I have great respect for those ttc and those exploring additional options. but idk if I'm ready for this. And now we are getting ready to move and me getting a promotion at work in September. I'm terrified at the prospect of being a mom so soon.

Dh is aware of the possibility, and has admitted a hope that I'm in fact carrying. I want to give him children, but im afraid of being a poor parent. In the interim, any thoughts or hugs while I wait for proof as to whether I'm pregnant are appreciated.

JaniV123 · May 2015

relax and try not to loose your head. Breathe and go get a test at the pharmacy and/or go to get the urine test at the lab. Whatever the outcome it will be ok, and you have options and time to decide what is the best course of action.

lots of hugs and

falsara · May 2015

It's perfectly natural to be nervous. Take a breath and just calm down until you find out. No matter what, you guys will handle everything together. And I sincerely doubt that you could ever be a poor parent.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

First off, it will be ok. If you guys weren't bring careful, you had to know it was a possibility.

Second, go take a test before you start worrying too much!

There's never a perfect time to have kids in my opinion. Something in life will always pop up. Also, no one knows what they're doing at first when they have a kid, but you and your H will figure it out together

jacques27 · May 2015

Chipmunk415 said:
Fucking hell, I think I might be pregnant.

I went off the pill for 2 months due to pharmacy screw ups. Dh and I havent exactly been careful. I'm 5 weeks post my last cycle.

Dont get me wrong, I want children and I have great respect for those ttc and those exploring additional options. but idk if I'm ready for this. And now we are getting ready to move and me getting a promotion at work in September. I'm terrified at the prospect of being a mom so soon.

Dh is aware of the possibility, and has admitted a hope that I'm in fact carrying. I want to give him children, but im afraid of being a poor parent. In the interim, any thoughts or hugs while I wait for proof as to whether I'm pregnant are appreciated.

1. There are also lots of things that can cause a not regular cycle. Going off BC is one. Stress is another (I had a freak out once when a particularly stressful time in my life resulted in being 10 days later than usual). Granted, pregnancy is another. Figure out which one it is before you put in too much time worrying.

2. Regarding the bolded - that's pretty normal. I know there are people who are like "Yup, I always wanted to be a mom and knew that was going to happen." But even of those people, I know of no one who went "I am totally going to rock this parent thing. I've got this sh*t down cold." No. There's always the fear that you're not going to be good enough, or you're going to irreparably screw up your child, or that it's just going to be so freaking hard. No amount of being ready is ever going to take that fear completely away. That fear is a sign you care. And caring is never a bad thing. And if you are pregnant, then you'll figure it out along the way, just like everything else in life. You weren't just born with the innate ability to ride a bike, drive a car, bake a cake, or do whatever your job is. You learned how to do those things and figured it out along the way. It's the same thing with parenting.

chibiyui · May 2015

Relax, breathe, and take a test. If the test is negative, have a drink, and test once a week until you get a positive or your period.

And if you are pregnant. You got this. And I for one welcome more evil chipmunks in the world.

themuffinman16 · May 2015

jacques27 said:

show previous quotes
Chipmunk415 said:
Fucking hell, I think I might be pregnant.

I went off the pill for 2 months due to pharmacy screw ups. Dh and I havent exactly been careful. I'm 5 weeks post my last cycle.

Dont get me wrong, I want children and I have great respect for those ttc and those exploring additional options. but idk if I'm ready for this. And now we are getting ready to move and me getting a promotion at work in September. I'm terrified at the prospect of being a mom so soon.

Dh is aware of the possibility, and has admitted a hope that I'm in fact carrying. I want to give him children, but im afraid of being a poor parent. In the interim, any thoughts or hugs while I wait for proof as to whether I'm pregnant are appreciated.
1. There are also lots of things that can cause a not regular cycle. Going off BC is one. Stress is another (I had a freak out once when a particularly stressful time in my life resulted in being 10 days later than usual). Granted, pregnancy is another. Figure out which one it is before you put in too much time worrying.

2. Regarding the bolded - that's pretty normal. I know there are people who are like "Yup, I always wanted to be a mom and knew that was going to happen." But even of those people, I know of no one who went "I am totally going to rock this parent thing. I've got this sh*t down cold." No. There's always the fear that you're not going to be good enough, or you're going to irreparably screw up your child, or that it's just going to be so freaking hard. No amount of being ready is ever going to take that fear completely away. That fear is a sign you care. And caring is never a bad thing. And if you are pregnant, then you'll figure it out along the way, just like everything else in life. You weren't just born with the innate ability to ride a bike, drive a car, bake a cake, or do whatever your job is. You learned how to do those things and figured it out along the way. It's the same thing with parenting.

SITB
I don't think anyone could have put it better than you just did.

@Chipmunk415 your cycle could be all wonky from switching up birth control. Breath, take the piss challenge. Whatever the results are, I believe you can handle it. You are very level headed, and even if you get pregnant a little earlier than anticipated , I think it will all work out.

sarahufl · May 2015

I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

STARMOON44 · May 2015

Fingers crossed! And maybe once this is sorted ask yourself why, if you're terrified of being pregnant, you weren't careful.

esstee33 · May 2015

sarahufl said:
I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

That's SO helpful. I'm sure she was unaware.

CMGragain · May 2015

Chipmunk415 said:
Fucking hell, I think I might be pregnant.

I went off the pill for 2 months due to pharmacy screw ups. Dh and I havent exactly been careful. I'm 5 weeks post my last cycle.

Dont get me wrong, I want children and I have great respect for those ttc and those exploring additional options. but idk if I'm ready for this. And now we are getting ready to move and me getting a promotion at work in September. I'm terrified at the prospect of being a mom so soon.

Dh is aware of the possibility, and has admitted a hope that I'm in fact carrying. I want to give him children, but im afraid of being a poor parent. In the interim, any thoughts or hugs while I wait for proof as to whether I'm pregnant are appreciated.

Thoughts and hugs, Chipmunk! I had the same fears you mention, and our children were planned. I was terrified I would be a bad mother since my own childhood had been so awful.

Well, my kids are grown, and I love them both dearly. They are the most important thing I have ever done. I did good. I am astonished!

Whatever happens, I know you will deal with it in the best way. You are a beautiful person. Sometimes God works in ways we don't expect, but you will handle it beautifully. Best wishes for a life filled with love.

WinstonsGirl · May 2015

Chipmunk, I find the people who worry about being bad parents are often the best, cos they actually care about doing a good job. Everyone is going to screw up once in a while, but if you care about doing it right, you'll get it enough times to matter. Fingers crossed you get what you want.

sarahufl · May 2015

esstee33 said:

show previous quotes
sarahufl said:
I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

That's SO helpful. I'm sure she was unaware.

My tolerance level for grown women who don't understand that having unprotected sex gets you pregnant is very, very low.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

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jenna8984 · May 2015

pinkrevenge said:

show previous quotes
sarahufl said:

esstee33 said:

sarahufl said:
I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

That's SO helpful. I'm sure she was unaware.

My tolerance level for grown women who don't understand that having unprotected sex gets you pregnant is very, very low.

Hey wow, that's a real coincidence, because my tolerance for sex shaming is also incredibly low!

Guess the face I'm making right now.

Chipmunk, no matter what I have faith that you've got this.

Wtf is sex shaming? Sarah wasn't saying don't have sex, she was saying if you aren't ready for a kid- wrap it up.

climbingsingle · May 2015

Hugs Chipmunk.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

sarahufl said:

show previous quotes
esstee33 said:

sarahufl said:
I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

That's SO helpful. I'm sure she was unaware.

My tolerance level for grown women who don't understand that having unprotected sex gets you pregnant is very, very low.

Girl come on. She never said she didn't understand the risk or that this possibility comes as a huge shock to her. She said it makes her nervous.

ETA Chipmunk, you've got this, either way. Don't stress or beat yourself up over uncertainty.

luckya23 · May 2015

This sounds similar to the place I was in the last couple months.

I'm sure you knew this was a possibility with the "not being careful" so I'm guessing you didn't mind the chance of being pregnant so much when it was not SO RIGHT THERE OMG MAYBE IT DID HAPPEN! You probably knew it would be fine, and you're just having a bit of a freak out at the reality of the situation. Totally normal, IMO!

When I was off BC, I had bleeding days in the middle of the month, so the transition to being off is also very likely to screw with your cycle. My doctor told me it was due to stress I was bleeding but whatever, at the time I wasn't very stressed at all! He claims I just didn't realize it, and I was being completely irresponsible anyway and to get back on BC ASAP, because condoms "aren't at all reliable."

I'm sure it will be fine, but you can test now, right?

sarahufl · May 2015

Listen, I am not shaming people for having sex. Just saying that you had to know it was a possibility.

If you weren't ready for that possibility, you need to plan accordingly.

ChemFanatic25 · May 2015

Boy these threads seem to derail more quickly more often now. Need to slow that down a bit.

**HUGS Chipmunk and thoughts!** My best friend got pregnant WAAAYYYY before they were planning on it because of a similar situation. She did not express fears like you did but it still was a bit scary for them. They now have a beautiful baby girl and although their life plan went off course they are still very happy. If you are pregnant, congratulations and I am sure you will be a wonderful parent. If you are not pregnant, congratulations, things will be a little bit more planned then a surprise pregnancy.

littlepep · May 2015

When I went off BC, my period got all wonky too. I had a few months where it would be late. 5 weeks isn't too long so there's still a possibility that you're just late.

If you are pregnant though, you will figure out the parenthood thing as you go. I totally get the scared feeling, and I think most people feel that way. TBH though no one knows what they are doing as a first-time parent. It's one of those things you learn by doing.

ashley8918 · May 2015

I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

For fuck's sake, she knows that. She didn't say that she was unaware of the possibility, just that she is a little nervous now that it might be a reality.

ETA: If the OP had come here and said "So, i'm not on BC, and H and I have just been fucking willy nilly. Now I might be pregnant, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" By all means, hop on the hate train. I'll join you. But that's not what happened. Accidents are a thing.

JCbride2015 · May 2015

Chipmunk, you totally got this. You are going to be an AWESOME mom, whether that happens this year or next year or five years down the road. And @luckya23 said it well: you probably knew you'd be an awesome mom when it was a little more abstract, you just need to adjust to it as a concrete idea. You're going to be fine.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

To add to my previous comment - FI and I got pregnant before we were engaged. While I was on BC, it definitely wasn't planned. Our initial reaction was a mix of nerves, scared, and oh shit.

After some time to digest, the nerves subsided and excitement set in.

A lot of parenting is experimenting to figure out what best meets the needs of your family. Don't be too hard on yourself! If anyone tells you they weren't nervous about becoming a parent, they're lying to you.

Hugs, keep us posted!

climbingsingle · May 2015

ashley8918 said:
show previous quotes
I hope you get the result you want, but "not being careful" isn't the best way to avoid pregnancy.

For fuck's sake, she knows that. She didn't say that she was unaware of the possibility, just that she is a little nervous now that it might be a reality.

ETA: If the OP had come here and said "So, i'm not on BC, and H and I have just been fucking willy nilly. Now I might be pregnant, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" By all means, hop on the hate train. I'll join you. But that's not what happened. Accidents are a thing.

For real. How about we dial it back a fucking little bit?

ashley8918 · May 2015

Appropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Breathe. It is okay. You can do this. But if you don't want to do this, you have options."

Inappropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Well, it's your own damn fault, stupid!"

[Deleted User] · May 2015

I agree with PPs, you might not be pregnant, but if you are you still have time to decide what is best for you. And it is TOTALLY normal to be scared. I can't speak from experience, but I can say that my parents did not even remotely plan on having kids at all until I gave them the surprise of their lifetime. I know they just about lost their shit, but I am supposedly the best surprise ever so...Sometimes things just happen. Even the most well-planned pregnancy will be scary. No matter what, I am sure you will be a wonderful mother when and if you decide to become one.

sarahufl · May 2015

ashley8918 said:
Appropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Breathe. It is okay. You can do this. But if you don't want to do this, you have options."

Inappropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Well, it's your own damn fault, stupid!"

You are entitled to your thoughts as I am entitled to mine. And I never called her stupid.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

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sarahufl · May 2015

pinkrevenge said:

show previous quotes
sarahufl said:

ashley8918 said:
Appropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Breathe. It is okay. You can do this. But if you don't want to do this, you have options."

Inappropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Well, it's your own damn fault, stupid!"

You are entitled to your thoughts as I am entitled to mine. And I never called her stupid.
No, you just implied it with your "That's what you get" tone, which OMG that's how babby is formed? Thanks, Captain Obvious. So helpful!

Wait, it isn't how babies are formed? Now I am all confused.

ashley8918 · May 2015

sarahufl said:

show previous quotes
ashley8918 said:
Appropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Breathe. It is okay. You can do this. But if you don't want to do this, you have options."

Inappropriate response to a terrified woman who might be accident pregnant: "Well, it's your own damn fault, stupid!"

You are entitled to your thoughts as I am entitled to mine. And I never called her stupid.

Sure, but like, maybe keep those thoughts to yourself if they serve no purpose but to belittle someone who is scared?

You don't need to say the word "stupid" in order for the implication to be loud and clear. Pointing out a totally fucking obvious thing, that the OP is pretty clearly not unaware of serves no purpose but to tell her that she is stupid/what she did is stupid. She knows how babies work. Hop off.

nwr...nervous as hell

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