Using table names instead of table numbers?

BrinkyDink16 · May 2015

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:
@BrinkyDink16 FH is Chinese and his parents are adamant that this is done at Chinese weddings. The ratio is smallish so we are thinking that it won't take more than 15mins to seat everyone if they all showed up at once but likely they won't so it won't be a big deal. Doors open at 5 and everyone knows the ceremony doesn't start until 5:30.
And how about your guests and wedding party members who are NOT Chinese? Don't their needs NOT to be kept standing around waiting for half an hour with nothing to eat while dressed up, especially if they have to sit down and eat for medical reasons, deserve any consideration? It is atrocious that you would ignore their needs for some "cultural tradition."

I think it's atrocious that you would bash someone's heritage and traditions. Also, from the way I read it, this is not the reception but the ceremony and there's a half hour between doors opening and the start. People aren't going to be in a line because they're going to be trickling in between 5 and 5:30. Also, I'm sure that if they have any guests with medical needs they would certainly attend to them.

Jen4948 · May 2015

sandstorm320 said:

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:
@BrinkyDink16 FH is Chinese and his parents are adamant that this is done at Chinese weddings. The ratio is smallish so we are thinking that it won't take more than 15mins to seat everyone if they all showed up at once but likely they won't so it won't be a big deal. Doors open at 5 and everyone knows the ceremony doesn't start until 5:30.
And how about your guests and wedding party members who are NOT Chinese? Don't their needs NOT to be kept standing around waiting for half an hour with nothing to eat while dressed up, especially if they have to sit down and eat for medical reasons, deserve any consideration? It is atrocious that you would ignore their needs for some "cultural tradition."

I too think it's atrocious that you would bash another culture's heritage and traditions. There is nobody with any form of medical needs that needs to be taken care of and our ceremony and reception take place at the same time. They will have to wait around for a half hour for the ceremony to start anyways, I am not serving food between 5 and 7. Also again, there won't be a line, chances are not everyone will show up at the same time but will more likely trickle in over that half hour period. then the ceremony starts etc. The fact that you don't do it doesn't mean that I shouldn't honour the culture that I am marrying into. This won't just be a Chinese wedding, and it's not going to just be a western wedding, it's a merging of cultures and a reflection of both.

Sorry, but cultural traditions are not an excuse for not properly hosting your guests. Keeping them on their feet for half an hour with nothing to do or eat is improper hosting. The fact that some of your guests ate Chinese do not excuse you from treating your non-Chinese guests appropriately. That is atrocious whether you agree or not.

BrinkyDink16 · May 2015

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:

Sorry, but cultural traditions are not an excuse for not properly hosting your guests. Keeping them on their feet for half an hour with nothing to do or eat is improper hosting. The fact that some of your guests ate Chinese do not excuse you from treating your non-Chinese guests appropriately. That is atrocious whether you agree or not.

But she's not keeping them on their feet for a half an hour! Did you read the set up? They'll be on their feet from whatever time they get there until they're seated. So if they show up at 5:12 they might stand there until 5:18 when the next free bridal party member comes to show them to their seats. Plus, did you see the ratio. She has nine bridal party members and roughly seventy guests. That should move pretty damn quickly. Doesn't seem like anyone will be standing for longer that 5-10 minutes. Plus, you're creating a division based on heritage when the day is about two families coming together and incorporating traditions from both sides. That's not nice at all.

Jen4948 · May 2015

BrinkyDink16 said:

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:

Sorry, but cultural traditions are not an excuse for not properly hosting your guests. Keeping them on their feet for half an hour with nothing to do or eat is improper hosting. The fact that some of your guests ate Chinese do not excuse you from treating your non-Chinese guests appropriately. That is atrocious whether you agree or not.
But she's not keeping them on their feet for a half an hour! Did you read the set up? They'll be on their feet from whatever time they get there until they're seated. So if they show up at 5:12 they might stand there until 5:18 when the next free bridal party member comes to show them to their seats. Plus, did you see the ratio. She has nine bridal party members and roughly seventy guests. That should move pretty damn quickly. Doesn't seem like anyone will be standing for longer that 5-10 minutes. Plus, you're creating a division based on heritage when the day is about two families coming together and incorporating traditions from both sides. That's not nice at all.

If a tradition works for only one side but not both, it's better to leave it out and only employ traditions that take both sides' needs into account. This is not one of them. Seventy guests who have to be kept waiting until someone seats them will still take unnecessary time and keep people waiting.

Jen4948 · May 2015

sandstorm320 said:
So I almost said it on the last post but this is enough, @Jen4948 you are being straight up racist. Segregating my guests based on race has got to be one of the most offensive things I have ever heard. It is 2015 and treating any guests differently based on their race is never ok with etiquette.

You read the post wrong, because for anyone of any background, whether white, black, Native American, Hispanic, or any other background to cater to one background's tradition at the expense of the other guests who are not of that background, is inappropriate. It doesn't matter which side is being promoted over the other.

All humans have a basic need not to be kept standing around waiting without seats or food at a hosted event. To expect them to do so because of "cultural tradition," regardless of which culture, is wrong. Get that through your skull, grow up, admit you're wrong and change your plans, and stop trying to play "racist" cards to excuse your lousy hosting. But above all, stop trying to defend your lousy hosting. It's not working.

Jen4948 · May 2015

sandstorm320 said:
My guests won't be kept standing, and saying that a person's "cultural traditions" is wrong isn't playing the racist card, it's you being racist. All cultures have different traditions and honouring those traditions is part of what makes this world great. Not having someone to seat guests would be considered very much against Chinese etiquette, so I feel absolutely no shame in saying that this is what we are doing. If you can't handle that, I hope you never have to meet someone who is different from you, not for your sake but for theirs.

It is not racist, because if someone had said it was Irish etiquette, Zulu etiquette, Brazilian etiquette, or whatever, I'd think it's still wrong.

In fact, by claiming that only Chinese etiquette can be observed in this situation, you are coming off as racist. Pot calling kettle black?

Jen4948 · May 2015

sandstorm320 said:

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:
My guests won't be kept standing, and saying that a person's "cultural traditions" is wrong isn't playing the racist card, it's you being racist. All cultures have different traditions and honouring those traditions is part of what makes this world great. Not having someone to seat guests would be considered very much against Chinese etiquette, so I feel absolutely no shame in saying that this is what we are doing. If you can't handle that, I hope you never have to meet someone who is different from you, not for your sake but for theirs.
It is not racist, because if someone had said it was Irish etiquette, Zulu etiquette, Brazilian etiquette, or whatever, I'd think it's still wrong.

In fact, by claiming that only Chinese etiquette can be observed in this situation, you are coming off as racist. Pot calling kettle black?

Omg you are so far up your own ass it's incredible. My wedding party is seating our guests, this is happening. I am sorry that you've never encountered a culture that is different from yours, and that you were raised to believe any tradition different from yours is wrong. I really am because that makes the world a worse place. But this is what's happening, no matter how many tantrums you have about this you won't change a thing about my wedding.

Lol. You were not there when I was raised, so you have no way of knowing that. Nor do you have any way of knowing what cultures I have been exposed to. This post is pure ego stroke for you and this post proves your lack of maturity.

esstee33 · May 2015

PrettyGirlLost · May 2015

scribe95 said:
That's exactly the experience I had at the one wedding I went to with table names - wandering around until I find it. I prefer numbers. They are simple. Or you could combine the two.

This has been my experience with table names as well. They held no more significance to me as a guest than numbers, but were far more annoying because unlike numbers there was no logical order so you had to wander around looking for your table name.

Just use numbers. What's cute and sentimental to you as a couple is impractical and just words to your guests.

lyndausvi · May 2015

sandstorm320 said:

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:
@BrinkyDink16 FH is Chinese and his parents are adamant that this is done at Chinese weddings. The ratio is smallish so we are thinking that it won't take more than 15mins to seat everyone if they all showed up at once but likely they won't so it won't be a big deal. Doors open at 5 and everyone knows the ceremony doesn't start until 5:30.
And how about your guests and wedding party members who are NOT Chinese? Don't their needs NOT to be kept standing around waiting for half an hour with nothing to eat while dressed up, especially if they have to sit down and eat for medical reasons, deserve any consideration? It is atrocious that you would ignore their needs for some "cultural tradition."

ummm... Ushering guests to their ceremony seats is pretty common in my world. Which is not Chinese btw. However, if you do not want to be escorted you do not have to. Some people by-pass the ushers and just seat themselves. People arrive at different times so there is little do no wait.

We didn't do that our ceremony even though it was traditionally. I personally think it's a funny thing for family to demand, but one that is not a hill to die on either.

I've never seen it done at a reception (unless your ceremony seat is also your reception seat). I would find that a little odd.

FWIW - as a server at some receptions I have definitely escorted guests their tables as a courtesy.

Jen4948 · May 2015

lyndausvi said:

sandstorm320 said:

Jen4948 said:

sandstorm320 said:
@BrinkyDink16 FH is Chinese and his parents are adamant that this is done at Chinese weddings. The ratio is smallish so we are thinking that it won't take more than 15mins to seat everyone if they all showed up at once but likely they won't so it won't be a big deal. Doors open at 5 and everyone knows the ceremony doesn't start until 5:30.
And how about your guests and wedding party members who are NOT Chinese? Don't their needs NOT to be kept standing around waiting for half an hour with nothing to eat while dressed up, especially if they have to sit down and eat for medical reasons, deserve any consideration? It is atrocious that you would ignore their needs for some "cultural tradition."
ummm... Ushering guests to their ceremony seats is pretty common in my world. Which is not Chinese btw. However, if you do not want to be escorted you do not have to. Some people by-pass the ushers and just seat themselves. People arrive at different times so there is little do no wait.

We didn't do that our ceremony even though it was traditionally. I personally think it's a funny thing for family to demand, but one that is not a hill to die on either.

I've never seen it done at a reception (unless your ceremony seat is also your reception seat). I would find that a little odd.

FWIW - as a server at some receptions I have definitely escorted guests their tables as a courtesy.

For ceremonies, escorting guests is one thing, but it sounds like sandstorm320 is talking about the couple and wedding party escorting guests to their seats at the reception.

BrinkyDink16 · May 2015

@Jen4948 The way I read it was that the ceremony and reception are taking place in the same location so their seats for the ceremony are the same as their seats for the reception.

Using table names instead of table numbers?

Re: Using table names instead of table numbers?

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