nwr...nervous as hell

[Deleted User] · May 2015

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Fran1985 · May 2015

sarahufl said:

Fran1985 said:

sarahufl said:

FiancB said:
So it sounds like you have a lot going on, which can easily contribute to a long cycle, as can things being wonky from being off birth control. But it's definitely time for a test or three. The stuff you're feeling is totally normal, even if you'd been actively trying.

@sarahufl, I get that having gone through what you have that it's really frustrating to see other people get pregnant on accident, but this is not the time or place. Maybe if you'd dialed it back a bit and added a "sorry girl" that would be more acceptable, but your posts on this thread are about as uncouth as someone telling you to just relax and try again and I know you know better than that.
You (or anyone else) don't get to tell me how to feel. And if someone said "relax and try again" I would ignore them. Because this is the internet and people are allowed to say what they want. If you can't deal with the repercussions of something, don't engage in the act.

I knew that losing a pregnancy was an option when I got pregnant. But I don't bitch at people for telling me that.
But by that token, you also don't get to be the only person who gets to feel. Your miscarriage doesn't mean that no one else in your life (whether that be your personal friends or family or people on TK boards) gets to have feelings about pregnancy, whether those feelings be happy, sad, anxious, or dread. They are allowed to have those feelings and them having those feelings is not a personal attack on you. If you're not able to effectively compartmentalize enough to see beyond your own situation and always see everything as a mirror to you, then this may not be the healthiest place for you right now. And that's ok. But it's not okay lash out at other people having perfectly valid feelings about a situation because everything related to that topic feels like a personal attack to you while you grieve and cope. Have your feelings, but recognize that other people are allowed to have theirs, too, completely separate from anything having to do with you.
jacques27- I agree with you. And I think you actually said it well. And I was mainly lashing out at other posters (who have recently accused me of being a privileged white girl and contributing to race riots for my thoughts on other issues) for putting words in my mouth. My points I made to OP were valid (and true)- unprotected sex can lead to babies. And you should be prepared for that. And I would say that to anyone (family, friends, etc) and I would have said it before what happened in my own personal life.

Perhaps I am feeling extra punchy about it RIGHT NOW, but by openly admitting that she wasn't using protection, I do think OP opened herself up to the question of - why not? It is the most sensible question to ask when someone says they don't want kids but weren't using protection.

She is absolutely entitled to her feelings, as is everyone. I should also point out that I wasn't the only (or the first) person to ask. I was just the one that got jumped on for it.

ETA: what I said about grown women getting pregnant by accident was (also true) but possibly not worded as eloquently as it could be. I will admit to that.

As to your assertion that you made points that were valid and true, it just doesn't make any sense and is like if your friend told you that they cut themselves with a knife making dinner. Would your response be "knives are sharp. they can cut your fingers if you use them." Sure, its true, and it valid (technically) but it makes no sense in the conversation and it just comes off condescending.

As to the bolded, I honestly think you should maybe take a break from the internet for a while and make sure you are getting the support you need. I would never try to imagine what you've been through, but the bolding is just completely untrue and makes it sound like everything is very, very personal for you. And if your reaction to feeling like you got upset over a discussion on the riots (which don't affect your day to day to life) is to lash out at a poster that is going through an upsetting to her event in her life, I think you need to take a step back. You can't be using people's posts as ammo against them just because they disagreed with you on a message board. For all the snark and little fights there might be, people use this as a safe space when they are going through some real shit in order to get support and advice. "Lashing out" at them (in your own words) because of a previous disagreement isn't really fair.

esstee33, who specifically requested a shout out)

I don't need you to diagnose me and tell me to stay away from the internet. I have support and I am not looking for it from you. But if I was, I would open myself up to maybe not everyone agreeing with me.

So you lashed out at OP because you were mad at other posters? Your first post was a lash out so I don't see how that is rational at all. And you did seek support from this board, people just weren't awful to you. If they wanted to be, they could've been. For whatever reason, that seems to be the path you've decided to take with Chipmunk, and if that's because your mad at Estee (or me, because I also wrote you a long post on the other thread) that's not cool at all which is why everyone else is telling you to check yourself. At any giving time someone could come into threads that are seeking support and be awful, but we are all choosing not to, and no one did on your thread either. So try giving a little bit of what you got.

FiancB · May 2015

The Baltimore thread was a debate about how people felt about Baltimore. You had an unpopular opinion and you were called on it, but it's still an opinion in a thread about political events where people expect to hear that sort of thing. Results were similar when discussing Ferguson. Or cash checking places. It's no big secret this forum as a whole leans pretty left.

This thread is not a debate over whether climbingwife is a dumbass for getting pregnant or how she should feel about being pregnant. It's a support thread, essentially and her OP was very honest and respectful and it's super shitty to pop in JUST to say she should've known better. There is nothing rude about her post. If she's posted it on a difficulty with TTC support group, maybe.

Personally I think it's refreshing that she was up front about not being on top of the birth control. A lot of people are like "I SWEAR we were on the pill AND using condoms AND pulling out perfectly every time!" Uh huh...

@climbingwife hope you're feeling better and you peed on a stick!

sarahufl · May 2015

Fran1985 said:

Fran1985 said:

sarahufl said:

FiancB said:
So it sounds like you have a lot going on, which can easily contribute to a long cycle, as can things being wonky from being off birth control. But it's definitely time for a test or three. The stuff you're feeling is totally normal, even if you'd been actively trying.

@sarahufl, I get that having gone through what you have that it's really frustrating to see other people get pregnant on accident, but this is not the time or place. Maybe if you'd dialed it back a bit and added a "sorry girl" that would be more acceptable, but your posts on this thread are about as uncouth as someone telling you to just relax and try again and I know you know better than that.
You (or anyone else) don't get to tell me how to feel. And if someone said "relax and try again" I would ignore them. Because this is the internet and people are allowed to say what they want. If you can't deal with the repercussions of something, don't engage in the act.

I knew that losing a pregnancy was an option when I got pregnant. But I don't bitch at people for telling me that.
But by that token, you also don't get to be the only person who gets to feel. Your miscarriage doesn't mean that no one else in your life (whether that be your personal friends or family or people on TK boards) gets to have feelings about pregnancy, whether those feelings be happy, sad, anxious, or dread. They are allowed to have those feelings and them having those feelings is not a personal attack on you. If you're not able to effectively compartmentalize enough to see beyond your own situation and always see everything as a mirror to you, then this may not be the healthiest place for you right now. And that's ok. But it's not okay lash out at other people having perfectly valid feelings about a situation because everything related to that topic feels like a personal attack to you while you grieve and cope. Have your feelings, but recognize that other people are allowed to have theirs, too, completely separate from anything having to do with you.
jacques27- I agree with you. And I think you actually said it well. And I was mainly lashing out at other posters (who have recently accused me of being a privileged white girl and contributing to race riots for my thoughts on other issues) for putting words in my mouth. My points I made to OP were valid (and true)- unprotected sex can lead to babies. And you should be prepared for that. And I would say that to anyone (family, friends, etc) and I would have said it before what happened in my own personal life.

Perhaps I am feeling extra punchy about it RIGHT NOW, but by openly admitting that she wasn't using protection, I do think OP opened herself up to the question of - why not? It is the most sensible question to ask when someone says they don't want kids but weren't using protection.

She is absolutely entitled to her feelings, as is everyone. I should also point out that I wasn't the only (or the first) person to ask. I was just the one that got jumped on for it.

ETA: what I said about grown women getting pregnant by accident was (also true) but possibly not worded as eloquently as it could be. I will admit to that.

As to your assertion that you made points that were valid and true, it just doesn't make any sense and is like if your friend told you that they cut themselves with a knife making dinner. Would your response be "knives are sharp. they can cut your fingers if you use them." Sure, its true, and it valid (technically) but it makes no sense in the conversation and it just comes off condescending.

As to the bolded, I honestly think you should maybe take a break from the internet for a while and make sure you are getting the support you need. I would never try to imagine what you've been through, but the bolding is just completely untrue and makes it sound like everything is very, very personal for you. And if your reaction to feeling like you got upset over a discussion on the riots (which don't affect your day to day to life) is to lash out at a poster that is going through an upsetting to her event in her life, I think you need to take a step back. You can't be using people's posts as ammo against them just because they disagreed with you on a message board. For all the snark and little fights there might be, people use this as a safe space when they are going through some real shit in order to get support and advice. "Lashing out" at them (in your own words) because of a previous disagreement isn't really fair.

esstee33, who specifically requested a shout out)

I don't need you to diagnose me and tell me to stay away from the internet. I have support and I am not looking for it from you. But if I was, I would open myself up to maybe not everyone agreeing with me.

So you lashed out at OP because you were mad at other posters? Your first post was a lash out so I don't see how that is rational at all. And you did seek support from this board, people just weren't awful to you. If they wanted to be, they could've been. For whatever reason, that seems to be the path you've decided to take with Chipmunk, and if that's because your mad at Estee (or me, because I also wrote you a long post on the other thread) that's not cool at all which is why everyone else is telling you to check yourself. At any giving time someone could come into threads that are seeking support and be awful, but we are all choosing not to, and no one did on your thread either. So try giving a little bit of what you got.

Was it really, though? There is a difference between lashing out at someone and making a simple statement.

And I don't remember what you wrote on the other thread (nothing personal, it just didn't stick out to me). That thread didn't make me angry at all. I just don't generally like estee's attitude, and I am positive she doesn't like mine, which is probably where the strong reactions come from.

Anyway, this is getting ridiculous. And I thank you (and others) for whatever support you offer whenever you felt it was requested. I think we can agree that I am not generally an awful person and play nice with others here. This just happened to be something I feel strongly about and hit close to home.

By posting on forums like this, you open yourself (the general you) up to people maybe not approving of everything. And if people responded to my posts in a negative manner, they would also be entitled to do that.

RussianCinderella · May 2015

FiancB, this is about Chipmunk, not climbingbride...unless she's not telling us something

(I kid, I kid).

I hope you're doing alright, Chip! You can always talk to us and we will be supportive, I hope you're home by now and getting it sorted out soon.

ashley8918 · May 2015

FiancB said:
The Baltimore thread was a debate about how people felt about Baltimore. You had an unpopular opinion and you were called on it, but it's still an opinion in a thread about political events where people expect to hear that sort of thing. Results were similar when discussing Ferguson. Or cash checking places. It's no big secret this forum as a whole leans pretty left.

This thread is not a debate over whether climbingwife is a dumbass for getting pregnant or how she should feel about being pregnant. It's a support thread, essentially and her OP was very honest and respectful and it's super shitty to pop in JUST to say she should've known better. There is nothing rude about her post. If she's posted it on a difficulty with TTC support group, maybe.

Personally I think it's refreshing that she was up front about not being on top of the birth control. A lot of people are like "I SWEAR we were on the pill AND using condoms AND pulling out perfectly every time!" Uh huh...

@climbingwife hope you're feeling better and you peed on a stick!

Hahaha. The OP is @chipmunk415. @climbingwife's womb is definitely uninhabited as far as anyone knows.

But, everything else, YES.

FiancB · May 2015

Hahaha whoops. Sorry climbing. Apparently my brain thinks words that start with the same letter and have the same number of syllables are the same. I don't know how the hell I got it into my head that it was climbing. I had her avatar pictured the whole time for some reason.

Carry on. Is it time for puppies yet?

luckya23 · May 2015

Poor @climbingwife! lol

That tag must have come as quite the surprise!

RussianCinderella · May 2015

FiancB said:
Hahaha whoops. Sorry climbing. Apparently my brain thinks words that start with the same letter and have the same number of syllables are the same. I don't know how the hell I got it into my head that it was climbing. I had her avatar pictured the whole time for some reason.

Carry on. Is it time for puppies yet?

YES

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

RussianCinderella said:
FiancB, this is about Chipmunk, not climbingbride...unless she's not telling us something (I kid, I kid).

I hope you're doing alright, Chip! You can always talk to us and we will be supportive, I hope you're home by now and getting it sorted out soon.

OK I'm sorry but who are you? You joined two weeks ago and I don't think I've ever even seen you post before today.

esstee33 · May 2015

Seriously. @RussianCinderella whose AE are you?

lolo883 said:

RussianCinderella said:
FiancB, this is about Chipmunk, not climbingbride...unless she's not telling us something (I kid, I kid).

I hope you're doing alright, Chip! You can always talk to us and we will be supportive, I hope you're home by now and getting it sorted out soon.
OK I'm sorry but who are you? You joined two weeks ago and I don't think I've ever even seen you post before today.

chibiyui · May 2015

RussianCinderella · May 2015

lolo883 said:

RussianCinderella said:
FiancB, this is about Chipmunk, not climbingbride...unless she's not telling us something (I kid, I kid).

I hope you're doing alright, Chip! You can always talk to us and we will be supportive, I hope you're home by now and getting it sorted out soon.
OK I'm sorry but who are you? You joined two weeks ago and I don't think I've ever even seen you post before today.

You haven't, I've just been lurking for a long time.

JCbride2015 · May 2015

esstee33 said:
Seriously. @RussianCinderella whose AE are you?

lolo883 said:

RussianCinderella said:
FiancB, this is about Chipmunk, not climbingbride...unless she's not telling us something (I kid, I kid).

I hope you're doing alright, Chip! You can always talk to us and we will be supportive, I hope you're home by now and getting it sorted out soon.
OK I'm sorry but who are you? You joined two weeks ago and I don't think I've ever even seen you post before today.

Equally confused, here. Who are you? Also I don't think I've ever seen anybody refer to Chipmunk as "Chip."

Chipmunk415 · May 2015

Well, I took a test this morning. it's saying I'm not pregnant, but I will wait a few days and if my cycle doesn't show up, take another. The few past times I've had to go off the pill (in 10 years of use), I've been maybe a day or two late - now it's over a week. This isn't normal for me, but hey, bc is a bitch sometimes.

Sarahufl, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm not sorry I came on the forum and started a discussion/share about how nervous (and yet, excited) I am at the prospect of being a parent a year or so earlier than I'd originally planned to try to become one, regardless of whether dh and I were/are being reckless as to contraceptives.

Ladies, you are all awesome and I'm grateful I have your thoughts, support, and puppy gifs. Internet margaritas on me!!!!

Chipmunk415 · May 2015

I don't have puppies, but I do have sweet kitties. (Except for when the tabby feels like acting the asshole). Might as well put up pet photos

sarahufl · May 2015

Chipmunk415 said:
Well, I took a test this morning. it's saying I'm not pregnant, but I will wait a few days and if my cycle doesn't show up, take another. The few past times I've had to go off the pill (in 10 years of use), I've been maybe a day or two late - now it's over a week. This isn't normal for me, but hey, bc is a bitch sometimes.

Sarahufl, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm not sorry I came on the forum and started a discussion/share about how nervous (and yet, excited) I am at the prospect of being a parent a year or so earlier than I'd originally planned to try to become one, regardless of whether dh and I were/are being reckless as to contraceptives.

Ladies, you are all awesome and I'm grateful I have your thoughts, support, and puppy gifs. Internet margaritas on me!!!!

Well, I hope things clear up for you soon- and thank you for your thoughts and for still being a decent person when this thread devolved to crap. I hope you and your H get the answer you are hoping for and I am sure everything will work out how it is supposed to.

climbingsingle · May 2015

IT'S NOT ME!

Just wanted to clarify!

Hugs Chipmunk.

monkeysip · May 2015

Chipmunk,

If you're not pregnant--yay! What a relief!

If you actually are pregnant--yay! A baby!

I just wanted to add that when I got pregnant, I was terrified. I was terrified all of my pregnancy. And now that my daughter is 10 months, I'm still scared. Raising babies is hard. And I didn't feel that motherhood came naturally. BUT I have a beautiful daughter who I love so much, and people say I'm not so bad at this parenting thing. Just trying to say that we don't all feel those "OMG I want a baby! Squee! Motherhood!" feelings. But you'll figure it out, and love your (future hypothetical) baby either way.

But if you're not pregnant... well... then that was for anyone else reading, lol. Hugs for you either way.

artbyallie · May 2015

Chipmunk, my thoughts and prayers are with you no matter how this turns out. It's okay if you make the decision that you are not ready to be parents at this time, even though you want to be later on.

Also, just want to point out that hey, it can take even perfectly healthy couples more than two months to get knocked up when trying soooo yeah...

jenna8984 · May 2015

@chipmunk415 sorry to bump this, just thought about you and wondered if there was an update? Hope you are doing well with whichever the outcome is!

loveislouder · May 2015

I'm late to the party (was busy honeymooning) but I wanted to give virtual hugs regardless of the outcome.

Chipmunk415 · May 2015

Still testing negative, still late on the cycle, still waiting for doctor to get back to me regarding further testing. No other updates, but thanks for the support.

nwr...nervous as hell

Re: nwr...nervous as hell

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