Chit Chat

Odd family traditions

Due to years of concerts, moves, distance, etc, my family rarely celebrates Mother's Day on the correct day. It's frequently combined with Father's Day for a Parent's Day. For these holidays, gifts are given to my mom, dad, and grandmother.

In DH's family, it's required to buy Mother's Day gifts for all mothers in the family, not just your own mother or grandmother. The same goes for Father's Day. This means that each year I'm expected to buy 7 Mother's Day gifts and 4 Father's Day gifts each year (DH has a lot of siblings, etc.).

What odd family traditions does your family have over the holidays?
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Re: Odd family traditions

  • FiancBFiancB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We set up a tent in the living room on Christmas eve to sleep in. I have no idea how that got started, but we dug it. That was where we'd try to stay up to catch Santa bringing gifts. Maybe because it was next to the fireplace? IDK. 

    Also we'd get to open one gift before church and the rest after. I assume this came about to cut down on the whining. I'm not a churchgoer anymore but I always thought that was kind of genius on my parents' part. 

    When we were really little and it was one of our birthdays, the other kid would also get a small gift. Again, I'm sure it was to cut down on whining, and it was only when we were really little. I sound really gift grabby now, ha. 

    My family is often in northern CA on New Year's and seem to end up on the beach that day. Not great weather, but I kind of like the beach when it's cloudy and moody. 

    H's family has a big dinner and family get together on Christmas eve and then do pretty much nothing on Christmas day and most likely eat pizza. 
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  • We've never really celebrated Mother's Day and Father's Day. Mother's Day was usually us taking my mom out for breakfast or something, or just visiting for the day. We didn't see our extended family. Father's Day - my dad was usually on an annual motorcycle trip, so we just got him cards. That hasn't changed much. Now I'll just call him to talk. 

    Our odd family tradition is that on Christmas, after we open our gifts, we have a massive wrapping paper fight. And we always make our own whipped cream for dessert for every holiday. That was a tradition my grandfather started. 
  • edited May 2015
    Define odd...
    My family is pretty over the top and celebrates every holiday - Groundhog's Day, Cinco de Mayo, Derby Day, Mardi Gras, you name it and we have decorations if they sell them. We even celebrate Friday the 13th! :D
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Not so much an odd family tradition, but FI's family does their joint Christmas with his mom and all the grandkids on Christmas Eve... and every year we make massive batches of nachos.  I can't complain, it's pretty much awesome!

  • That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.

    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.

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  • We're pretty normal, I think.  Now that I live away from my family we can't really do this anymore, but we would always go golfing on or near Father's Day, and go to the greenhouse on or near Mother's Day.  I made a big fancy dinner on Mother's day for my mom and grandmas a few years in a row, too.

    Boxing Day is homemade Chinese food day, for the grandmother who worked in a cafeteria and was sick of turkey by the time Christmas rolled around.

    We would always open gifts for the five of us on Christmas Eve after church, too.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • falsarafalsara member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    We don't do anything for Mother's day/ Fathers day besides send a gift/ card.  

    We have a Christmas tradition where, every year, each person gets a new Tree ornament, and that is the one gift that we get to open on Christmas eve.  My parents did it so that by the time my sister and I moved out we would have our own Christmas ornaments for our own trees.  


                                               

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  • I mean... my mom still sets out our Christmas presents like Santa came. She even did FI's that way this year. And for a while there my uncle made mimosas for everyone Christmas morning. And... 5 of the last 6 years, we've traveled the week after Christmas, and that one year we traveled the week before. I'm looking forward to this Christmas; it'll be our first married Christmas, and we're going to do something chill instead of traveling, unless it's traveling to FILs.

    I would not be buying Mother's Day presents for 7 people. Not a chance.
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  • Mother's day is a big holiday for the women on my mom's side of the family. We usually celebrate with 3 generations of mothers. My mother, grandmother and myself and then there's my grandmother's aunt and her daughter, my cousin who is like a sister and then my actual sister. We all come together and celebrate each other usually by making a huge meal at my grandmother's house and we stuff our faces, exchange cards, candy & flowers and just enjoy each other's company.

    Other than that I think most of our family traditions are completely normal, they all revolve around food and booze, like other fams?

    image


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  • That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
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  • mrscomposermrscomposer member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2015

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts.
    But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)




    They pulled you aside?  They'd have gotten an 'awww honey' *pats head*.  Nope.  Fuck that.  You have to buy presents for not-your-mother when YOU DON'T GET A GIFT for being in a mother role?  Fuck that, again.

    AND they're all up in your uterus for not being pregnant?  I need that cat gif with the 'fuck this thing in particular'.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • We got to pick whatever we wanted for Christmas Eve dinner. Crab legs? OK, on the menu. A box of instant potatoes? OK, on the menu. We each got one thing and then we shared whatever everyone else picked.

    We used to have a giant family reunion every 4th of July at our lake house. But then the Italian Catholics and Christian reformed families started popping out babies at a staggering rate and the lake house was too small for everyone. Sprinkle in a little family drama and the tradition just faded.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • edited May 2015

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
    That's freaking awful. 

    We don't have many strange traditions in my family, except one that is really weird.

    Ever since I was able to get up in the morning on my own, I have been under VERY strict instructions to not go to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning without waking my parents up first. One fateful year, I did not do this and it resulted in my mother crying in bed when I grabbed a toy sitting on a wrapped gift and brought that in to say "Santa was here!" So every year my parents would set a time when I was allowed to wake them up, and I would go in, wake them up, and they would go downstairs and "get everything ready." 

    Getting everything ready meant:
    1. Turning on all the tree lights
    2. Lighting a fire in the fire place
    3. Putting Christmas breakfast in the oven (always prepared the night before, "monkey" aka pull apart bread)
    4. Turning on Christmas music
    5. Making coffee for everyone to drink while opening presents

    While all of this was happening I was instructed to sit upstairs and wait. The whole ordeal usually took about 5 minutes, so when I got older I would just brush my teeth and my hair and attempt to not look horrid and sleepy while I waited.

    The kicker is...I am 24. I stay at my parents' house on Christmas eve still. This whole ordeal STILL happens. Usually my parents wake me up now, and they solemnly hint that I technically don't have to wait anymore, but I do it just because it makes them happy. They get a lot more excited about Christmas then I do at this point.

    I guess that sounds really insane, but I am their only child, so holidays have always been a big deal for them (and for me). Now it's just a running family joke.

    ETF: Spelling
  • That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts.
    But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)




    They pulled you aside?  They'd have gotten an 'awww honey' *pats head*.  Nope.  Fuck that.  You have to buy presents for not-your-mother when YOU DON'T GET A GIFT for being in a mother role?  Fuck that, again.

    AND they're all up in your uterus for not being pregnant?  I need that cat gif with the 'fuck this thing in particular'.

    Yeah, that ain't right. I would snap.
    image
  • In my family, you were woken on your birthday with breakfast in bed and the Beatles birthday song. We could have whatever we wanted for breakfast. I remember my sister wanting cold pizza and Diet Coke one year, so that's what she got. It was also the only day of the year we were allowed to buy sugary cereal. I always chose Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Cracklin' Oat Bran.

    I remember lying in bed on my birthday morning as a kid, gleefully waiting for that moment when the door would burst open, the Beatles blaring, and my whole family would enter with the breakfast of my choosing and presents.

    I still call one of my sisters first thing in the morning on her birthday to play the Beatles birthday song.
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  • In my family, you were woken on your birthday with breakfast in bed and the Beatles birthday song. We could have whatever we wanted for breakfast. I remember my sister wanting cold pizza and Diet Coke one year, so that's what she got. It was also the only day of the year we were allowed to buy sugary cereal. I always chose Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Cracklin' Oat Bran.


    I remember lying in bed on my birthday morning as a kid, gleefully waiting for that moment when the door would burst open, the Beatles blaring, and my whole family would enter with the breakfast of my choosing and presents.

    I still call one of my sisters first thing in the morning on her birthday to play the Beatles birthday song.
    That just warmed my sappy heart. 
  • That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts.
    But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)




    They pulled you aside?  They'd have gotten an 'awww honey' *pats head*.  Nope.  Fuck that.  You have to buy presents for not-your-mother when YOU DON'T GET A GIFT for being in a mother role?  Fuck that, again.

    AND they're all up in your uterus for not being pregnant?  I need that cat gif with the 'fuck this thing in particular'.

    @lolo and @mrscomposer- they thought they were doing me a favor, saving me from family embarrassment.
     
    Everyone on DH's side likes to talk about my uterus. People in my family (under 80) and our friends are much more thoughtful.
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  • edited May 2015
    abcdevonn said:

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
    That's freaking awful. 

    We don't have many strange traditions in my family, except one that is really weird.

    Ever since I was able to get up in the morning on my own, I have been under VERY strict instructions to not go to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning without waking my parents up first. One fateful year, I did not do this and it resulted in my mother crying in bed when I grabbed a toy sitting on a wrapped gift and brought that in to say "Santa was here!" So every year my parents would set a time when I was allowed to wake them up, and I would go in, wake them up, and they would go downstairs and "get everything ready." 

    Getting everything ready meant:
    1. Turning on all the tree lights
    2. Lighting a fire in the fire place
    3. Putting Christmas breakfast in the oven (always prepared the night before, "monkey" aka pull apart bread)
    4. Turning on Christmas music
    5. Making coffee for everyone to drink while opening presents

    While all of this was happening I was instructed to sit upstairs and wait. The whole ordeal usually took about 5 minutes, so when I got older I would just brush my teeth and my hair and attempt to not look horrid and sleepy while I waited.

    The kicker is...I am 24. I stay at my parents' house on Christmas eve still. This whole ordeal STILL happens. Usually my parents wake me up now, and they solemnly hint that I technically don't have to wait anymore, but I do it just because it makes them happy. They get a lot more excited about Christmas then I do at this point.

    I guess that sounds really insane, but I am their only child, so holidays have always been a big deal for them (and for me). Now it's just a running family joke.

    ETF: Spelling
    Freaking yes. This. Except there's four (well... five last year!) of us and WE ALL PILE UP AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS. Like. For real. The youngest of us is 18, the oldest is 27. Really. 

    @wandajune6 that is absolutely abhorrent. Like. So many levels abhorrent.
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  • afox007afox007 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.

    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)


    Fuck that shit. You are a much nicer woman than I am. I already have an issue with the fact that everyone gets all the moms a gift, but if you are filling the mom role and not being acknowledged they shouldn't be getting shit from you. Pushing a baby out your vagina doesn't make you more of a mom. 

    FMIL is already up in arms that again we are doing our own thing on mother's day for ME the chick who didn't push 8.5 pound FSS out, but spends most of my time taking care of him. Her logic is if we aren't spending it with FSS's junkie mom then it should be about her because I'm not really a mom. 
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  • abcdevonn said:

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
    That's freaking awful. 

    We don't have many strange traditions in my family, except one that is really weird.

    Ever since I was able to get up in the morning on my own, I have been under VERY strict instructions to not go to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning without waking my parents up first. One fateful year, I did not do this and it resulted in my mother crying in bed when I grabbed a toy sitting on a wrapped gift and brought that in to say "Santa was here!" So every year my parents would set a time when I was allowed to wake them up, and I would go in, wake them up, and they would go downstairs and "get everything ready." 

    Getting everything ready meant:
    1. Turning on all the tree lights
    2. Lighting a fire in the fire place
    3. Putting Christmas breakfast in the oven (always prepared the night before, "monkey" aka pull apart bread)
    4. Turning on Christmas music
    5. Making coffee for everyone to drink while opening presents

    While all of this was happening I was instructed to sit upstairs and wait. The whole ordeal usually took about 5 minutes, so when I got older I would just brush my teeth and my hair and attempt to not look horrid and sleepy while I waited.

    The kicker is...I am 24. I stay at my parents' house on Christmas eve still. This whole ordeal STILL happens. Usually my parents wake me up now, and they solemnly hint that I technically don't have to wait anymore, but I do it just because it makes them happy. They get a lot more excited about Christmas then I do at this point.

    I guess that sounds really insane, but I am their only child, so holidays have always been a big deal for them (and for me). Now it's just a running family joke.

    ETF: Spelling
    Freaking yes. This. Except there's four (well... five last year!) of us and WE ALL PILE UP AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS. Like. For real. The youngest of us is 18, the oldest is 27. Really. 

    @wandajune6 that is absolutely abhorrent. Like. So many levels abhorrent.
    We did too! The first person to wake up (at, ya know, 4 am) would wake everyone else and Mom and Dad up. (Sometimes we'd be awoken by the sound of sleigh bells, but Mom and Dad ALWAYS appeared sound asleep in bed.) They would go downstairs to make coffee, put breakfast in the oven, and yell things like "WHAT on EARTH?! Who could ALL THESE PRESENTS be for? Santa must have gotten the wrong house! It's just SO MANY PRESENTS" while the four of us foamed at the mouth at the top of the stairs, cuddled in someone's comforter, the only time we could be in such close proximity without someone getting a black eye. Then mom would coyly say something like "gee I wonder why the kids don't come down" and we'd all stampede down like wild animals. It's a wonder nobody ever broke a leg.

    I miss that. :(
    I'm so glad my household is not as freaky as I imagined! It sounds awesome with a bunch of kids, too!
  • edited May 2015
    abcdevonn said:

    abcdevonn said:

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
    That's freaking awful. 

    We don't have many strange traditions in my family, except one that is really weird.

    Ever since I was able to get up in the morning on my own, I have been under VERY strict instructions to not go to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning without waking my parents up first. One fateful year, I did not do this and it resulted in my mother crying in bed when I grabbed a toy sitting on a wrapped gift and brought that in to say "Santa was here!" So every year my parents would set a time when I was allowed to wake them up, and I would go in, wake them up, and they would go downstairs and "get everything ready." 

    Getting everything ready meant:
    1. Turning on all the tree lights
    2. Lighting a fire in the fire place
    3. Putting Christmas breakfast in the oven (always prepared the night before, "monkey" aka pull apart bread)
    4. Turning on Christmas music
    5. Making coffee for everyone to drink while opening presents

    While all of this was happening I was instructed to sit upstairs and wait. The whole ordeal usually took about 5 minutes, so when I got older I would just brush my teeth and my hair and attempt to not look horrid and sleepy while I waited.

    The kicker is...I am 24. I stay at my parents' house on Christmas eve still. This whole ordeal STILL happens. Usually my parents wake me up now, and they solemnly hint that I technically don't have to wait anymore, but I do it just because it makes them happy. They get a lot more excited about Christmas then I do at this point.

    I guess that sounds really insane, but I am their only child, so holidays have always been a big deal for them (and for me). Now it's just a running family joke.

    ETF: Spelling
    Freaking yes. This. Except there's four (well... five last year!) of us and WE ALL PILE UP AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS. Like. For real. The youngest of us is 18, the oldest is 27. Really. 

    @wandajune6 that is absolutely abhorrent. Like. So many levels abhorrent.
    We did too! The first person to wake up (at, ya know, 4 am) would wake everyone else and Mom and Dad up. (Sometimes we'd be awoken by the sound of sleigh bells, but Mom and Dad ALWAYS appeared sound asleep in bed.) They would go downstairs to make coffee, put breakfast in the oven, and yell things like "WHAT on EARTH?! Who could ALL THESE PRESENTS be for? Santa must have gotten the wrong house! It's just SO MANY PRESENTS" while the four of us foamed at the mouth at the top of the stairs, cuddled in someone's comforter, the only time we could be in such close proximity without someone getting a black eye. Then mom would coyly say something like "gee I wonder why the kids don't come down" and we'd all stampede down like wild animals. It's a wonder nobody ever broke a leg.

    I miss that. :(
    I'm so glad my household is not as freaky as I imagined! It sounds awesome with a bunch of kids, too!
    IT IS. I think most Christmas Eves until I was well into my 20s, I was the first one up, and it was AWFUL because my parents instituted a "wait until 6 to wake us up" rule when I was 6 or 7. Which meant we were up at 2:30 playing whatever game we'd gotten at Mawmaw's the night before. And praying it would hurry up so we could go downstairs and potty hahahaha. It was awful and terrible and I don't think I'd ever change a damn one of those memories. :D

    ETA @lolo883 THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY PARENTS WOULD SAY TOOOOOOO
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  • afox007 said:

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.

    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
    Fuck that shit. You are a much nicer woman than I am. I already have an issue with the fact that everyone gets all the moms a gift, but if you are filling the mom role and not being acknowledged they shouldn't be getting shit from you. Pushing a baby out your vagina doesn't make you more of a mom. 

    FMIL is already up in arms that again we are doing our own thing on mother's day for ME the chick who didn't push 8.5 pound FSS out, but spends most of my time taking care of him. Her logic is if we aren't spending it with FSS's junkie mom then it should be about her because I'm not really a mom. 


    I'm ok with not being considered a mom, more or less. The Kid doesn't want another mom and, while I parent, I respect his wishes. To complain about it diminishes our agreement. What bothers me is the hypocrisy with his family on the issue.

    As for not being TK, they also don't know that we've had problems. They all assume that it's simply an issue of us focusing on our careers at the moment. It would never occur to them that it could have anything to do with DH. Since they place such a huge focus on masculinity (lots of machismo, though DH is very different), I'd rather them think my priorities are fucked rather than think he's less of a man.

    It would be incredibly easy to shut every up woman in DH's family. Hell, sometimes it's a struggle not to. However, their family's going through lots of stress and I'd rather not do anything to cause problems while people are hurting. Also, I suck at biting sarcasm and bitchiness en español- and if I'm going to do it, I want everyone to understand me.

    I didn't meant to derail the topic though!
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  • afox007afox007 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    abcdevonn said:

    That's super weird, about buying gifts for ALL the mothers. No, if you're not MY mother (or my parent's mother) you're not getting a gift from me. I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but that's it.


    We had a lot of Christmas traditions I've talked about before, but they've mostly faded out now that we're all grown/moved out/have our own families. I'm loving the new Brunchgiving tradition I got going a few years ago... whichever side of the family we don't see on Thanksgiving comes over for brunch the Saturday after. Don't have to eat another big dinner or drive all over the place on Thanksgiving, and it's early enough to keep your evening free if you have to travel home.

    Lots of birthdays often get combined... we have a lot on April so we do a big Easter/April birthdays deal that's nearly as big as Christmas. And then there are a few in June that get celebrated with Father's Day.
    I'm the gift-buyer in our relationship (DH sucks at it and I think it's kind of fun). Our first Mother's Day together, I bought stuff for our moms and my gramma and he seemed surprised that there was nothing else. When we showed up without gifts for everyone else, I got pulled aside and was given a little talk about it by two of the brothers.

    Ironically, they all talk about how I'm the closest thing The Kid has to an active mom yet I don't qualify for gifts. But they're all kind enough to give me shit regularly about how I haven't gotten pregnant yet.(sarcasm... it feels incredibly shitty to be reminded that you're not a mom when struggling at it...)
    That's freaking awful. 

    We don't have many strange traditions in my family, except one that is really weird.

    Ever since I was able to get up in the morning on my own, I have been under VERY strict instructions to not go to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning without waking my parents up first. One fateful year, I did not do this and it resulted in my mother crying in bed when I grabbed a toy sitting on a wrapped gift and brought that in to say "Santa was here!" So every year my parents would set a time when I was allowed to wake them up, and I would go in, wake them up, and they would go downstairs and "get everything ready." 

    Getting everything ready meant:
    1. Turning on all the tree lights
    2. Lighting a fire in the fire place
    3. Putting Christmas breakfast in the oven (always prepared the night before, "monkey" aka pull apart bread)
    4. Turning on Christmas music
    5. Making coffee for everyone to drink while opening presents

    While all of this was happening I was instructed to sit upstairs and wait. The whole ordeal usually took about 5 minutes, so when I got older I would just brush my teeth and my hair and attempt to not look horrid and sleepy while I waited.

    The kicker is...I am 24. I stay at my parents' house on Christmas eve still. This whole ordeal STILL happens. Usually my parents wake me up now, and they solemnly hint that I technically don't have to wait anymore, but I do it just because it makes them happy. They get a lot more excited about Christmas then I do at this point.

    I guess that sounds really insane, but I am their only child, so holidays have always been a big deal for them (and for me). Now it's just a running family joke.

    ETF: Spelling
    Freaking yes. This. Except there's four (well... five last year!) of us and WE ALL PILE UP AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS. Like. For real. The youngest of us is 18, the oldest is 27. Really. 

    @wandajune6 that is absolutely abhorrent. Like. So many levels abhorrent.
    We did too! The first person to wake up (at, ya know, 4 am) would wake everyone else and Mom and Dad up. (Sometimes we'd be awoken by the sound of sleigh bells, but Mom and Dad ALWAYS appeared sound asleep in bed.) They would go downstairs to make coffee, put breakfast in the oven, and yell things like "WHAT on EARTH?! Who could ALL THESE PRESENTS be for? Santa must have gotten the wrong house! It's just SO MANY PRESENTS" while the four of us foamed at the mouth at the top of the stairs, cuddled in someone's comforter, the only time we could be in such close proximity without someone getting a black eye. Then mom would coyly say something like "gee I wonder why the kids don't come down" and we'd all stampede down like wild animals. It's a wonder nobody ever broke a leg.

    I miss that. :(

    ****SITB*****
    I'm surprised we never killed my poor parents Christmas morning. We did all the family presents Christmas Eve so it was stockings and Santa presents downstairs, but we had to wake mom and dad up first. There were 5 of us, we woke them up by running into their room and dog piling them and jumping on the bed. Dad would go down to start the coffee and we couldn't come down until it was ready. It was a stampede once we could go down and more often then not I fell about halfway down the stairs while my parents shook their heads over how graceful I am. 
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  • I mean... my mom still sets out our Christmas presents like Santa came. She even did FI's that way this year. And for a while there my uncle made mimosas for everyone Christmas morning. And... 5 of the last 6 years, we've traveled the week after Christmas, and that one year we traveled the week before. I'm looking forward to this Christmas; it'll be our first married Christmas, and we're going to do something chill instead of traveling, unless it's traveling to FILs.


    I would not be buying Mother's Day presents for 7 people. Not a chance.
    FI's mom is like this too except generally she's drunk. Christmas eve is always at her house with her side of the family, by the time everyone is done with dinner the drinks flow freely, sometimes we end up at the little bar in town, and then she puts out the gifts once everyone has passed out. Opening gifts is usually accompanied by a massive hangover, and this year she over bought for stockings and had to bring out a garbage sack with the rest of the stuff in it for each of us. It is totally overwhelming to me, we always did a stocking and one "bigger" gift in my family, in his it's a tower of gifts even though there are four siblings and they are all married/engaged/have a baby mama.

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  • Growing up on our birthdays my grandparents would phone and sing us happy birthday. No intro or anything, you'd pick up the phone and they'd burst into song. It was so cheesy and eye rolling, especially the older we got, but we ate it up.

    They both passed away when I was 23, and I admit it was devastating not to get the phone call. 


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  • falsarafalsara member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    Growing up on our birthdays my grandparents would phone and sing us happy birthday. No intro or anything, you'd pick up the phone and they'd burst into song. It was so cheesy and eye rolling, especially the older we got, but we ate it up.


    They both passed away when I was 23, and I admit it was devastating not to get the phone call. 


      Every year, especially when we lived in places that didn't get snow,  my Nana would call the house on the first snow fall of the year and sing "It's begging to look a lot like Christmas" into the phone. She even left it on our answering machine.  Nana lives in Michigan and knew how much we wished we had snow when we were living in the south.  

                                               

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  • DH's family gets together for holidays and usually BBQs, but that's not so much a tradition, just an excuse.

    Their one tradition is that for birthday's DH's mom makes this strawberry cream roll-up cake. It's yummy and they always look forward to it.

    For my family, we both light a menorah as well as have a Christmas tree, and I'm especially excited to teach any future kids the menorah prayer!

    I doubt that I will carry on many of our other family traditions, but we will probably make our own. Some of the ones from my childhood: on Thanksgiving each family member can pick their own pie to eat in any flavor that they want (we would buy them, not make them), on Christmas my mom made blintz pie for breakfast (I have done this!), for New Years Eve we eat snacks and appetizers for dinner, for New Years Day we eat bagels, lox, and cream cheese.

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