Lying to vendors? (Inspired by Weddit)

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

I am currently working with "vendors" that don't upcharge based on what kind of event it is:

The museum who will likely be our ceremony venue is offering me use of their auditorium, with set-up time during business hours Friday and the whole business day Saturday, for $125, and they'll set up and break down chairs for $50. That includes free admission for all guests to the museum's exhibits, which are quite nifty, especially considering their location in a smallish Alabama town. That's what their cost is online for daytime events. And they're SUPER helpful.

Our caterer will be giving us the employee discount, since FI is an employee. But their prices are only inconsistent in that established patrons (Rotary Club, etc) haven't had an increase in a while. Their general catering costs are fair.

Our other vendors are my brother and his best friend, for hair and photography respectively. I had to force them to give me numbers, and I know for a fact that my brother is planning to give me back whatever I pay him. So I have to figure out a way around that.

banana468 · May 2015

I think that's the big thing here - don't bait and switch but also see if the vendors would upcharge for any reason.

That said, we were honest with all of them. I didn't see the point in going to a venue with DH (then FI) with a diamond ring on my finger asking them about "events".

kvruns · May 2015

I don't think we have lied about anything and haven't really had a reason to try. For cupcakes we just asked about ordering a certain # and not specifically for a wedding (in case it would be more expensive for a "wedding" version) but that is it

julieanne912 · May 2015

I haven't really ran into any vendors that upcharged for anything wedding. My venue has their prices posted on their website, and they vary by day (ie Saturday is more than Friday) but that's about it.

My caterer did originally push for way more waitstaff than was needed just because it was a wedding. But, we're having BBQ food buffet style, it's in a barn, and it's a pretty casual event so I didn't see the need for enough waitstaff to serve a full sit down dinner, I mainly want extra help there to clean up after people versus "serve" them. Once she understood how casual it is, she backed off on the number.

kaitlynmichelle · May 2015

I never would lie to a vendor, it could really bite you in the ass. Asking about price differences between the types of events they deal with would be fine, but if that photographer story is true, I don't blame them for leaving.

My venue tried to insist we have our dinner in a private room and catered, which for them meant $$$$$$. I politely requested we eat in the main dining room with our 12 guests and we would let them order whatever they wanted off the regular menu as we discussed when I booked our wedding package. They then tried to tell me they only could sit 8 at a time so we'd have to have the first group at 5 pm and the next at 7 pm. I told the manager that was ridiculous, I know based on reviews my request is something they've done before, and if it was too difficult we would simply host our wedding dinner at another establishment. Suddenly, it wasn't an issue anymore.

I got the same answers about cost differences for hair and makeup - they put more time and effort into bridal makeup and hair so it costs more.

annathy03 · May 2015

I'd be OK with a lie by omission like not telling a salon you're driving to that you'll be putting on a white dress later, the cupcake place that your dessert happens to be for a wedding, or the restaurant that your reservations for 12 happens to be a rehearsal dinner (assuming you don't care about being in a private room or whatever).

I also think it's reasonable to get an over-the-phone/email ballpark quote for a generic event first to see if they charge more for weddings and feel out if it's just because they can or if they have a reasonable explanation so you can take that into account making a decision. If a photographer includes image editing and they spend twice the retouching time for a wedding as a corporate event, that makes sense. If DJ asshole just thinks brides are cray-cray, he doesn't get the business.

But to have a contract with a DJ/photographer/etc and straight up lie to them about what kind of event they'll be showing up to? No. Hell no.

Knottie1429926455 · May 2015

That sounds incredibly stupid! I can see how it would be tempting, but jeez, for photographers/DJs and stuff, they're going to know at some point, it's not like you can keep them from finding out.

The closest we've gotten to that is searching "white dress" instead of wedding dress and "amethyst ring" instead of including the word "engagement"

Maybe if you're having a cake made or something, where they'd never know the difference, but for people who are actually there, there's a reason they charge so much.

lovesclimbing · May 2015

I would never outright lie to a vendor. However, I wouldn't have a problem with saying, "I need five dozen cupcakes," and just leaving out "for a wedding" at the end.

A photographer, no way! Photographing a wedding is completely different than any other type of photography. I suppose it probably wouldn't be as big of a deal if they'd said it would be for a corporate event with presentations and stuff. But telling them head shots? Man. If I was the photographer, I'd leave too! Or I'd say, "OK, line up for your headshots and then I'm leaving." That is outright wrong, and I'd go so far as to say stealing.

thisismynickname2 · May 2015

I don't have the guts to lie.

One venue, my mom scoped out first for a wedding brunch. $35 a head. Then-FI and I went there to discuss hosting a wedding... $185 a head. I said what my mom was quoted and she goes, "Oh! I remember her-- I thought she meant a morning-after-wedding brunch, not an actual brunch reception." That rubbed me the wrong way, but we decided on a Saturday night anyway and couldn't afford their minimum anyway.

I definitely bought my dress from Nordstrom by searching for white evening gowns rather than wedding gowns. The traditional wedding gowns aren't my style so I'm so happy evening gowns come in white and for a helluva lot cheaper.

My friend's future MIL is planning their rehearsal dinner. FMIL's friend booked a party at this restaurant for x amount per person including booze. So, FMIL called and was quoted the exact same for a rehearsal dinner without booze, so they were really miffed.

What else? I paid a lot for my hair, but used the stylist I've used for 9 years. The BMs paid $80, I paid $100. That was in addition to the $50 or something I paid for the trial. Didn't care. I love my stylist and my hair looked amazing. I find myself looking at photos and looking at how nice my hair looked rather than my dress, lol.

TheArtemisMoon · May 2015

While vendors do often price gouge for weddings, telling lies would make the situation worse. I'd ask them for cost saving alternatives instead and keep shopping around. I looked at wedding dresses and the prices were just absurd so I ordered a lovely white quinceanera dress for $165 instead of a wedding dress. The dress store wasn't even mad.

Lying to vendors? (Inspired by Weddit)

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