slight rant about child teacher

Knottie84221682 · May 2015

sarahufl said:

lyndausvi said:

sarahufl said:
Nevermind the single parent angle (which is a big problem itself), but why do women have to cook and men fix things?!
no shit. In my household it's the complete opposite. I can't cook for shit. DH just hands over shit that needs to be fixed to me. He just doesn't have a knack for that kind of stuff. Cooking, well you all know, he's pretty damn good at that.
I had a roommate years ago who was like 25 years old and ASTONISHED I knew how to use power tools. She bought some shelves she wanted to hang and asked if I knew any men who could do it. I said no, but that I would use my drill and do it. She was blown away that I knew how to use a drill and hang things.

I have been doing "boy chores" since I was old enough to do them and my parents always taught me how to fix things (and how to cook!!)

Lol same here. I've got a picture of my daughter in a Disney princess costume sitting outside with her dad while he worked on his motorcycle breaks she was using his tools to "change the breaks" on her bicycle lol

FiancB · May 2015

Well. I clicked this thinking it was some sort of whiny bullshit about the teacher not acknowledging that the child in question is the spesulest snowflake of all or something like that.

Definitely bullshit. I wouldn't drop it. I'd talk to the school, talk to other parents, write the paper, be a pain in the ass. The nuclear family is a lie and always has been.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

lyndausvi said:

sarahufl said:
Nevermind the single parent angle (which is a big problem itself), but why do women have to cook and men fix things?!
no shit. In my household it's the complete opposite. I can't cook for shit. DH just hands over shit that needs to be fixed to me. He just doesn't have a knack for that kind of stuff. Cooking, well you all know, he's pretty damn good at that.

Well. FI doesn't do much cooking, but he's much better at it.

He also does most of the fixing because I'll just duct tape shit together and he's generally not okay with that.

RE: OP. That is SOOOOOOOOOOOME bullshit.

This is what I would do:

Go to the principal's office, show him the assignment, and demand to know why in the FUCK it's okay to make a little kid CRY just to enforce some extremely sexist bullshit norms?

If he cannot give you a satisfactory answer, inform him that you will be taking it up with the local and state school boards. Do it.

Also consider a lawyer. That is some damn bullshit.

Fuck now I'm pissed off.

daria24 · May 2015

I'd be burning shit down if this kind of crap happened all the time and the school didn't address the issue. Setting aside the egregious gender stereotyping-growing up I had a lot of classmates that didn't have either parent around for many reasons-deployment, divorce, death, shiftwork.

I always felt sad for a friend who lived with her dad, her mom lived 3,000 miles away. Every mother's day we'd be making gifts for our moms or we'd have an assignment to write something nice about our mothers. She always wrote really beautiful things about her dad attempting to french braid her hair and trying to help her pick out clothes. It just must have sucked to feel so singled out because you didn't grow up.

I'd be sending this shit to the ACLU. They love to make this stuff go viral.

afox007 · May 2015

I feel like this assignment is just setting little girls up to think they need to be helpless without a guy around.

My BFF a few years ago was one of those helpless little girls after her divorce. She legitimately did not know how to pump gas. In HS her dad would fill up her car and after she moved out with her BF/FI/H he would fill up her car. I remember the first time we were driving home she seemed scared by the gas light.

She was in awe that not only did I show her how to put gas in the at I also knew how to teacher her to check te oil, change a headlight, and fix a flat tire.

OliveOilsMom · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

lyndausvi said:

sarahufl said:
Nevermind the single parent angle (which is a big problem itself), but why do women have to cook and men fix things?!
no shit. In my household it's the complete opposite. I can't cook for shit. DH just hands over shit that needs to be fixed to me. He just doesn't have a knack for that kind of stuff. Cooking, well you all know, he's pretty damn good at that.
Well. FI doesn't do much cooking, but he's much better at it.

He also does most of the fixing because I'll just duct tape shit together and he's generally not okay with that.

RE: OP. That is SOOOOOOOOOOOME bullshit.

This is what I would do:

Go to the principal's office, show him the assignment, and demand to know why in the FUCK it's okay to make a little kid CRY just to enforce some extremely sexist bullshit norms?

If he cannot give you a satisfactory answer, inform him that you will be taking it up with the local and state school boards. Do it.

Also consider a lawyer. That is some damn bullshit.

Fuck now I'm pissed off.

A few years after my granddad passed away, my grandma was in the basement and noticed a drip from a pipe. She went to squeeze the pipe and it practically melted in her hand. It turns out that my granddad, attempted to fix a leak with duct tape, he just wrapped it around until whatever leak he saw, stopped! My grandma found a wrench and shut the water off before calling the plumber.

tcnoble · May 2015

That's one of the most insensitive things I've ever heard of a teacher doing.

Family is SO many things now a days, you never know what a child's family situation is. We started out the year in my fifth grade class doing a family tree project. Immediately I had kids raising hands saying "I don't know my dad!" or "I live with my grandparents!" which I knew would happen... so we all took a minute and wrote down what qualities we look for in family (having fun, watching tv together, cooking, reading, they're nice to you, they make you feel safe). And then we all wrote down the people we know that we think of when we think of those things. Some students wrote the "typical" family.. mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. We also had a lot of kids write down "my teacher, my best friend, my babysitter" and such. So we talked about how THAT can be family too! And suddenly every kid was so confident writing about a family, even if they didn't have that "normal" one.

Teachers have SUCH an opportunity to help kids break down those barriers of what's "normal" and "typical"... it's a real shame to hear about ones like this who do nothing but solidify these misconceptions.

sarahufl · May 2015

tcnoble said:
That's one of the most insensitive things I've ever heard of a teacher doing.

Family is SO many things now a days, you never know what a child's family situation is. We started out the year in my fifth grade class doing a family tree project. Immediately I had kids raising hands saying "I don't know my dad!" or "I live with my grandparents!" which I knew would happen... so we all took a minute and wrote down what qualities we look for in family (having fun, watching tv together, cooking, reading, they're nice to you, they make you feel safe). And then we all wrote down the people we know that we think of when we think of those things. Some students wrote the "typical" family.. mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. We also had a lot of kids write down "my teacher, my best friend, my babysitter" and such. So we talked about how THAT can be family too! And suddenly every kid was so confident writing about a family, even if they didn't have that "normal" one.

Teachers have SUCH an opportunity to help kids break down those barriers of what's "normal" and "typical"... it's a real shame to hear about ones like this who do nothing but solidify these misconceptions.

see, you are a good teacher.

TrixieJess · May 2015

Oh hell to the no...I grew up in a single dad household where my father couldn't change a light bulb without electrocuting himself, but dammit, he could cook!

I would complain and keep complaining and have the teacher fired. I had two teachers fired in elementary school for similar reasons and I went to a strict Catholic school in the '80s.

I know Kindergarten teachers and they would be appalled by this. At this age, children are just starting to have a small concept of gender but they all still play together.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

OliveOilsMom said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

lyndausvi said:

sarahufl said:
Nevermind the single parent angle (which is a big problem itself), but why do women have to cook and men fix things?!
no shit. In my household it's the complete opposite. I can't cook for shit. DH just hands over shit that needs to be fixed to me. He just doesn't have a knack for that kind of stuff. Cooking, well you all know, he's pretty damn good at that.
Well. FI doesn't do much cooking, but he's much better at it.

He also does most of the fixing because I'll just duct tape shit together and he's generally not okay with that.

RE: OP. That is SOOOOOOOOOOOME bullshit.

This is what I would do:

Go to the principal's office, show him the assignment, and demand to know why in the FUCK it's okay to make a little kid CRY just to enforce some extremely sexist bullshit norms?

If he cannot give you a satisfactory answer, inform him that you will be taking it up with the local and state school boards. Do it.

Also consider a lawyer. That is some damn bullshit.

Fuck now I'm pissed off.
A few years after my granddad passed away, my grandma was in the basement and noticed a drip from a pipe. She went to squeeze the pipe and it practically melted in her hand. It turns out that my granddad, attempted to fix a leak with duct tape, he just wrapped it around until whatever leak he saw, stopped! My grandma found a wrench and shut the water off before calling the plumber.

This is why FI does the fixing.

wandajune6 · May 2015

tcnoble said:
That's one of the most insensitive things I've ever heard of a teacher doing.

Family is SO many things now a days, you never know what a child's family situation is. We started out the year in my fifth grade class doing a family tree project. Immediately I had kids raising hands saying "I don't know my dad!" or "I live with my grandparents!" which I knew would happen... so we all took a minute and wrote down what qualities we look for in family (having fun, watching tv together, cooking, reading, they're nice to you, they make you feel safe). And then we all wrote down the people we know that we think of when we think of those things. Some students wrote the "typical" family.. mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. We also had a lot of kids write down "my teacher, my best friend, my babysitter" and such. So we talked about how THAT can be family too! And suddenly every kid was so confident writing about a family, even if they didn't have that "normal" one.

Teachers have SUCH an opportunity to help kids break down those barriers of what's "normal" and "typical"... it's a real shame to hear about ones like this who do nothing but solidify these misconceptions.

You made me tear up. That's exactly how this topic should be handled.

I would be livid in the OP's position. I'm not sure how I would handle it myself but I would definitely not let this go.

STARMOON44 · May 2015

My dad would have taught me how to call a repair person!

huskypuppy14 · May 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
Is the teacher's name Ms. Kessler?

Kauris · May 2015

Does this happen to be in the same school district that taught "Abstinence Only" and is now facing a chlamydia outbreak amongst the kids?

huskypuppy14 · May 2015

Honestly, who in their right mind thinks this is a good assignment? Can't you just take the sexism out of it and say have someone (anyone, grandpa, mom, older sister, whoever) teach you how to cook your favorite meal and fix something.

My mom worked second shift when I was little, my dad cooked and showed us how to fix things. I am much more handy than my husband, because his parents just called someone to repair things, while my dad did it himself and showed us how to do it.

drunkenwitch · May 2015

Time to bust out the GIF BF sent for me for extra special Knot posts like this one

That bitch needs to be stopped and stopped now. Go to the principal, go to the administration, go to the PTA, go to the school board. Previous posters have covered the multiple ways this beyond fucked up.

I guess my nieces would SOL with that assignment because my BROTHER (the male one) does all cooking and SISTER IN LAW (the female one) does the small repairs around the house.

OH GOD!!! NOOOOOO!!! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???!!! We can't break rigid, outdated gender roles, that's how the terrorists win!!!

[Deleted User] · May 2015

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CMGragain · May 2015

Do you have the assignment in writing? If you do not, telephone the teacher and ask if your daughter understood the assignment. If your daughter gave you the correct information, I would explain your issues with the assignment first to the teacher, and secondly to the Principal. This is a heartless and sexist assignment, and I would strongly object! Just as a caveat, your daughter might have misinterpreted the assignment. I hope so!

The year after my Dad died, my church youth leader thought it would be a great idea for us to have a banquet to honor our fathers. Yeah, I didn't have one. I just quietly refused to participate. I should have made a fuss. ...and nobody taught me how to fix anything! I was the "man of the family" and I looked things up at the public library.

Kahlyla · May 2015

Oh, nooo, this is some fucking horseshit right here. I would be SEETHING at seeing an assignment like this.

kaos16 · May 2015

ohmrs2014 said:
As a fellow teacher, I can honestly say that while I understand the assignment, I think the teacher went about it the wrong way. Is she a younger teacher or an older one who is so set in their ways that they just need to retire? I teach 4th grade in a private Catholic school and we aren't even that backwards.

Even when I taught Pre-K, I would have never of thought of assigning gender specific assignments. I had actually had twins in my class who had two moms and for Father's Day, they made their gifts for their grandpas.

care to elaborate on this?

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

kaos16 said:

ohmrs2014 said:
As a fellow teacher, I can honestly say that while I understand the assignment, I think the teacher went about it the wrong way. Is she a younger teacher or an older one who is so set in their ways that they just need to retire? I teach 4th grade in a private Catholic school and we aren't even that backwards.

Even when I taught Pre-K, I would have never of thought of assigning gender specific assignments. I had actually had twins in my class who had two moms and for Father's Day, they made their gifts for their grandpas.
care to elaborate on this?

NOT the quoted poster, but I can see her point.

It's a great idea to have a parental figure teach a kid to cook some food and/or fix something. I get the assignment in that sense.

Having Mommy teach you to cook, specifically, and Daddy teach you to fix something, specifically, is where Teach went bass-ackwards wrong. Families are not defaulting to "Mommy and Daddy" any more.

sarahufl · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

kaos16 said:

ohmrs2014 said:
As a fellow teacher, I can honestly say that while I understand the assignment, I think the teacher went about it the wrong way. Is she a younger teacher or an older one who is so set in their ways that they just need to retire? I teach 4th grade in a private Catholic school and we aren't even that backwards.

Even when I taught Pre-K, I would have never of thought of assigning gender specific assignments. I had actually had twins in my class who had two moms and for Father's Day, they made their gifts for their grandpas.
care to elaborate on this?
NOT the quoted poster, but I can see her point.

It's a great idea to have a parental figure teach a kid to cook some food and/or fix something. I get the assignment in that sense.

Having Mommy teach you to cook, specifically, and Daddy teach you to fix something, specifically, is where Teach went bass-ackwards wrong. Families are not defaulting to "Mommy and Daddy" any more.

Yeah, I don't think the intention was bad- it just needed to be less sexist, nuclear family-oriented.

ohmrs2014 · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

kaos16 said:

ohmrs2014 said:
As a fellow teacher, I can honestly say that while I understand the assignment, I think the teacher went about it the wrong way. Is she a younger teacher or an older one who is so set in their ways that they just need to retire? I teach 4th grade in a private Catholic school and we aren't even that backwards.

Even when I taught Pre-K, I would have never of thought of assigning gender specific assignments. I had actually had twins in my class who had two moms and for Father's Day, they made their gifts for their grandpas.
care to elaborate on this?
NOT the quoted poster, but I can see her point.

It's a great idea to have a parental figure teach a kid to cook some food and/or fix something. I get the assignment in that sense.

Having Mommy teach you to cook, specifically, and Daddy teach you to fix something, specifically, is where Teach went bass-ackwards wrong. Families are not defaulting to "Mommy and Daddy" any more.

This exactly. I should have elaborated more. I think having the parents teach you how to cook and/or fix something is a great idea, almost show and tell type. But to state specifically that to had to be a female figure teach you one and a male figure teach you another took the assignment to another level that it didn't need to go.

MollyandD · May 2015

As a teacher, I spend a lot of time talking to my kids about how boys and girls can be friends. I tell them that colors, books, and movies can't be boys or girls, so boys or girls can like any of those that they want. To have someone teaching gender-specific rules to children absolutely disgusts me. I try so hard to undo that, and it blows my mind that this teacher thinks it's ok.

slight rant about child teacher

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