I hate when people buy me gifts when I clearly wrote on my invitations that I only wanted cash. Is there a better way to let the know not to bring physical gifts to the wedding. HELP! My wedding is coming up quickly and I don't know what I'll do if one more person picks out a stupid thoughtful gift when all I really want is COLD HARD CASH.
My wife is pregnant with our first child. While I'm happy we are having our first child together I can't help but notice she is putting on weight.
I'm worried about our vacation pictures this summer and our Christmas photos after baby is born.
How can I tell her to watch her waist line?
Worried about weighty wife
Dear Wife, Ladies being less hot is the #1 end to all marriages, and being pregnant is no excuse! I think it's time to talk to her doctor and work out an exercise regimen with them to hand to her. Make sure you watch and SEE her doing it. Also, a pregnancy only requires an extra 300 calories a day, where anything over 1,000 calories is not considered disordered eating. Make sure your wife understands that 1,300 calories a day is her set amount, and not a calorie more. A sugar-free gluten free nut free raw vegan diet is best for keeping hotties hot.
And insist on a tummy tuck after the mandortory c-section. You do NOT want her partner-hole getting messed up with something like birth.
I have the greatest idea for a wedding theme. A "bring your own" wedding. It'll be great! BYO food, BYO drinks, BYO chairs, and of course BYO gifts (I'm explicitly putting this last one on the invitation so people know they can bring us ANY gift of their choosing). What do you think of my theme? Is there anything else I'm missing?
A lot of my wedding guests are asking about a registry, but FI and I have been living together for 36 days and we already have everything we need for our entire lives together. Is it okay to tell our guests that we will only be accepting pony-shaped gifts? Is putting this in bold letters on our save the dates and invites acceptable or should I send out another flyer and maybe an email?
My husband wants to have a guy's night. WTF?! I am the only friend he ever needs! Why can't he love me enough to realize that he should be spending every free second with me? What should I do?!!
My wedding is soon approaching, since it is MY day I was thinking of putting together a combination of things to make it clear it is my special princess dream day. I was thinking of sending out a newsletter via email starting at the 21 day mark so everyone knows what I a doing, also talking to my photog to put together a Wedding Day magazine featuring me and pictures of me and Fi's 8 month relationship to hand out at the ceremony. And finally to end with a bang prepare a 1.5hr slide show of every picture ever taken of us and a live choreographed dance where I wear a slutty lit up bridal gown.
I am tired of working, it is cutting into my "me" time and it is hard to focus on things that really matter like looking good all the time. I want to keep the same life style that I am accustomed to so I am going to start a GFM. I want to make it clear that I don't just want other people to contribute to my salary but also travel expenses (other than the honeymoon because obviously the honeyfund will take care of that) since I will be doing a lot of that in my free time. Should I use a poem to make people understand how special I am? How should I title my GFM to really grab attention and make people understand how important this is to me?
Help, my MOH is pregnant. I can't believe she did this to me during my wedding year! Will she understand that I had to kick her out of my wedding party now? Am I going overboard my banning the rest of my 'maids from getting knocked up until after my big day?
I have always wanted to have a big, fancy wedding with everything I have ever seen in any wedding-themed movie ever. However, I need to make things legal tomorrow for reasons. They are personal reasons. They are personal reasons that have never applied to any other bride ever in the history of weddings, because I am very special. So, I'm planning to get "married" tomorrow, but then I want to have my big dream wedding. I can't decide between having it in the city I grew up in or where I currently live. So I'm going to do both. One next year and one the following year. FI is complaining that we're not also having a big dream wedding where he lives. I think three big dream weddings might be too much, but I'm not sure. Advice?
After a lot of soul-searching, I'm deciding to acknowledge the existence of my FI's children from a previous marriage on our wedding day. They're certainly cute enough to be in my pretty-pretty-pictures, but almost ... too cute, if you see where I'm going with this.
Also, how can I be sure they will memorize the not-at-all-culty family vows in which they tell me how beautiful and wonderful I am, and swear their allegiance to me now and forevermore?
Finally, I suppose they're going to have to use their allowance to purchase juice from the cash bar - I have an issue with this, because then that's basically like us paying for their drinks, and that's just really not in our budget right now.
I found my dream wedding venue! It's the Plaza in New York in springtime. I want my wedding to be really unique and speshul. The problem is that there are other people who plan to get married there before I do! Is it unreasonable to tell the Plaza that they can't book any weddings before MY DAY? I'm not engaged yet so the Plaza may have to close down for a couple years. Do you think they'll still keep everything in good working order? Or maybe they could take the time to renovate because the marble doesn't go super well with my rustic chic wedding theme?
I want to fire my FI from the wedding because he isn't living up to his wedding duties... isn't interested in napkin colors, and won't agree to say in his vows he will be my personal servant for as long as we both shall live.
Also - my bridal party needs to be put on a written warning for not performing their job duties, until they have stuffed all my invites and done other crafty speshul shit. The one who cut her hair also has to go.
I am having my bridal party set up my wedding. However, my MOH is totally trying to slack off!!! She's eight months pregnant, and she's insisting that she won't be able to make and set up the arbor all by herself. She just texted me that she's been put on bedrest, and I'm pretty sure she's just trying to get out of her duties. What do I do!?!?!?!
All of my friends are getting married in parks, but I haven't got my invites yet. Should I start to harass my post officer in case the invites got lost, or should I just show up without it?
Re: Bye
My wife is pregnant with our first child. While I'm happy we are having our first child together I can't help but notice she is putting on weight.
I'm worried about our vacation pictures this summer and our Christmas photos after baby is born.
How can I tell her to watch her waist line?
Worried about weighty wife
Ladies being less hot is the #1 end to all marriages, and being pregnant is no excuse! I think it's time to talk to her doctor and work out an exercise regimen with them to hand to her. Make sure you watch and SEE her doing it. Also, a pregnancy only requires an extra 300 calories a day, where anything over 1,000 calories is not considered disordered eating. Make sure your wife understands that 1,300 calories a day is her set amount, and not a calorie more. A sugar-free gluten free nut free raw vegan diet is best for keeping hotties hot.
And insist on a tummy tuck after the mandortory c-section. You do NOT want her partner-hole getting messed up with something like birth.
DEAD. I AM DEAD.
I have the greatest idea for a wedding theme. A "bring your own" wedding. It'll be great! BYO food, BYO drinks, BYO chairs, and of course BYO gifts (I'm explicitly putting this last one on the invitation so people know they can bring us ANY gift of their choosing). What do you think of my theme? Is there anything else I'm missing?
-BYO Bride
Dear Pink,
My husband wants to have a guy's night. WTF?! I am the only friend he ever needs! Why can't he love me enough to realize that he should be spending every free second with me? What should I do?!!
Signed,
I might be a stalker
After a lot of soul-searching, I'm deciding to acknowledge the existence of my FI's children from a previous marriage on our wedding day. They're certainly cute enough to be in my pretty-pretty-pictures, but almost ... too cute, if you see where I'm going with this.
Also, how can I be sure they will memorize the not-at-all-culty family vows in which they tell me how beautiful and wonderful I am, and swear their allegiance to me now and forevermore?
Finally, I suppose they're going to have to use their allowance to purchase juice from the cash bar - I have an issue with this, because then that's basically like us paying for their drinks, and that's just really not in our budget right now.
Sincerely,
Stepmommy Dearest
I want to fire my FI from the wedding because he isn't living up to his wedding duties... isn't interested in napkin colors, and won't agree to say in his vows he will be my personal servant for as long as we both shall live.
Also - my bridal party needs to be put on a written warning for not performing their job duties, until they have stuffed all my invites and done other crafty speshul shit. The one who cut her hair also has to go.
HALP!
-Bossy Bride