Bye

VulgarGirl · May 2015

pinkrevenge said:
I wish I had known about anal sex from school, because this has been me:

Seriously! Anal, oral, it was all just penis in vagina. Boring.

Also any excuse to use that gif....

[Deleted User] · May 2015

.

novella1186 · May 2015

Our sex ed consisted of being shown close-up photos of STIs and watching the live-birth video. We also were separated from the boys for a little bit to have a very breif discussion about periods. The end. The word condom was never even mentioned, let alone other types of birth control.

I agree with Magic, the education on that topic should start much sooner and be far more comprehensive. (There was a 12 yr old at my school who got pregnant, so clearly learning about condoms when you're 16 or 17 isn't gonna do much good).

My parents can't even say the words penis or vagina. Never in my life ever heard them say such a thing. Ever. We never talked about sex. So school was the only place for me to learn, and as I said I didn't learn much.

I wish we had talked about things like masturbation so that I didn't grow up thinking it was dirty and horrible and wrong, and I was weird and gross for wanting to try it-- and then I could have been aware that sexual pleasure is possible without a partner. I didn't learn such things till a segment about it in my Women's Psychology class during my sophomore year of college. Had no idea about all the intricate female anatomy or any of that.

I'm in my late 20s and there's still a lot I don't know, I'm sure. Like pinkrevenge just made me realize I know 0 things about anal sex. 0. Never learned about it, never talked about it, never tried it. I feel like a Puritan in the 1600s sometimes.

KatWAG · May 2015

ShesSoCold said:
I took a class my senior year of high school where we got the fake baby. It was "Contemporary Life". First quarter, we planned weddings and talked about relationships. Second quarter, we talked about babies, jobs, taxes and divorce. We got the fake baby for three days. The last day of class we went to the courthouse and sat in on divorce hearings. I loved that class. It was so easy.

My sexed experience was much like @katwag's. I'm in IL also. I think in fourth grade they separated the boys and girls and talked to us about periods. Then again in fifth. In sixth we went to some education place and dicked around all day when we were supposed to be learning about sex. My freshman year health class was also taught by a football coach and he was not comfortable. Even he looked away when we watched the birth video.

@shessocold did you go to Robert Crown for your sex ed? That is where I went. The boys were told not to tease girls about getting their periods and girls were told how to use a pad. That was pretty much it.

KatWAG · May 2015

ShesSoCold said:
I'm just now realizing how weird and terrible it is that sex ed was taught to me right alongside drugs and alcohol and other things I should never ever do or else I will surely go to jail and/or die.

Don't forget eating eating disorders!

ShesSoCold · May 2015

KatWAG said:

ShesSoCold said:
I took a class my senior year of high school where we got the fake baby. It was "Contemporary Life". First quarter, we planned weddings and talked about relationships. Second quarter, we talked about babies, jobs, taxes and divorce. We got the fake baby for three days. The last day of class we went to the courthouse and sat in on divorce hearings. I loved that class. It was so easy.

My sexed experience was much like @katwag's. I'm in IL also. I think in fourth grade they separated the boys and girls and talked to us about periods. Then again in fifth. In sixth we went to some education place and dicked around all day when we were supposed to be learning about sex. My freshman year health class was also taught by a football coach and he was not comfortable. Even he looked away when we watched the birth video.
@shessocold did you go to Robert Crown for your sex ed? That is where I went. The boys were told not to tease girls about getting their periods and girls were told how to use a pad. That was pretty much it.

Yess! That's basically what I remember about it too. And I feel like I recall a giant uterus playground type thing that you could crawl through. Maybe it was a heart. And then we went again to learn about the horrors of alcohol and drugs.

princessleia22 · May 2015

I got pretty lucky with sex ed classes in school. In 3rd & 4th grade I had sex ed (I think it was 2-3 days) that basically taught about body parts, puberty, and stuff like that. They separated boys and girls for part of the class to get more in depth for each. Honestly, when I started my period, I didn't even tell my mom... I knew all about pad and tampons from school sex ed, knew it was coming at some point, and just did what I had learned... it just didn't seem like a big deal to me. My mom found out when she took me for a physical exam and the doctor asked me. 6th grade they had more in depth class that started talking about actual sex, but with little detail. They stressed abstinence, but still talked a bit about safe sex. 8th grade we watched the birthing video, learned about condoms & birth control and basics of STD's. In 9th grade we had to do a full semester health class, which spent a week or two on sex ed and we got the full STD run down, complete with horrifying photos. But, overall, my schools were pretty comprehensive with sex ed, getting more detailed as we got older. I was pretty lucky.

Especially since outside of school I never got any sex talk from my parents... it was always just "sex is something you do after you are married" and never any more than that. But, my parents had been together since high school and were pretty uninformed about that stuff too. During high school, I actually had the unpleasantness of explaining to my mother how condoms work (she was curious) and what blow jobs are (she had no clue).

jenna8984 · May 2015

novella1186 said:

I wish we had talked about things like masturbation so that I didn't grow up thinking it was dirty and horrible and wrong, and I was weird and gross for wanting to try it-- and then I could have been aware that sexual pleasure is possible without a partner. I didn't learn such things till a segment about it in my Women's Psychology class during my sophomore year of college. Had no idea about all the intricate female anatomy or any of that.

I'm in my late 20s and there's still a lot I don't know, I'm sure. Like pinkrevenge just made me realize I know 0 things about anal sex. 0. Never learned about it, never talked about it, never tried it. I feel like a Puritan in the 1600s sometimes.

I was doing it long before I even knew what it was. I think I was maybe 10-12 when I found out hey if I touch this like this it feels fucking good and it gives me this thing that I refer to as a "space out". It wasn't until I was about 14 talking with friends that I realized that was masturbating and it was called an orgasm.

And I knew nothing about a man orgasm/ ejaculating. My first time I gave a blow job, I just kept going for like ten minutes after he came because I didn't know that meant it was done/ achieved.

novella1186 · May 2015

jenna8984 said:

novella1186 said:

I wish we had talked about things like masturbation so that I didn't grow up thinking it was dirty and horrible and wrong, and I was weird and gross for wanting to try it-- and then I could have been aware that sexual pleasure is possible without a partner. I didn't learn such things till a segment about it in my Women's Psychology class during my sophomore year of college. Had no idea about all the intricate female anatomy or any of that.

I'm in my late 20s and there's still a lot I don't know, I'm sure. Like pinkrevenge just made me realize I know 0 things about anal sex. 0. Never learned about it, never talked about it, never tried it. I feel like a Puritan in the 1600s sometimes.

I was doing it long before I even knew what it was. I think I was maybe 10-12 when I found out hey if I touch this like this it feels fucking good and it gives me this thing that I refer to as a "space out". It wasn't until I was about 14 talking with friends that I realized that was masturbating and it was called an orgasm.
And I knew nothing about a man orgasm/ ejaculating. My first time I gave a blow job, I just kept going for like ten minutes after he came because I didn't know that meant it was done/ achieved.

Yeah I think that's around the same age I was too, but I was terrified to ever talk about it because I was so ashamed. It was such a gross thing to touch yourself. Girls don't do that!

My guy friends always talked about it, but my girl friends didn't. So it was like "ew what is wrong with me?!"

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

This... is the ONE area where I feel like my homeschooling failed me miserably. Not that public schools around here would have done any better, but at least then I would have had peers to educate me. For instance, I got my first period in March of 2002, I think. I was 13, and my dad had lost his job about 9 months earlier, and my mom was SUPER stressed out. I didn't know what it was, and thought I had hurt myself. My 10-year-old brother and I had a pow-wow about it (that was a fun conversation: "hey, Baby Bro, I think I'm bleeding from my butt, should I tell Mom?") and decided that we shouldn't tell my mom since it would just worry her, unless it got worse. Well - obviously - it got better, so we didn't tell her. I threw away all the panties I ruined and got my dad to buy me new ones. Then it happened again in April. Again - let's see if it gets better again, and then we'll tell her. And then it happened on Mother's Day. I decided that I needed to tell Mom - it surely couldn't be normal that I kept bleeding from my butt. And she burst into tears and I thought "CRAP I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HER."

As far as sex, I didn't know anything. At all. I didn't learn anything about my anatomy until I was in college, had been having sex for a year, and feeling like a failure because I couldn't give him a blowjob, and didn't really enjoy getting oral sex (still don't, but now I know that's okay). I still don't know a lot, and I love these threads because stuff comes up in them that I learn from. FI has taught me a lot, too. And the Sex+ channel from Laci Green - I watched it for a long time until I fell out of YouTubing in general. I learned a lot from it.

TL;DR: Even abstinence-only programs teach more sex ed than I had in school.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

jenna8984 · May 2015

novella1186 said:

jenna8984 said:

novella1186 said:

I wish we had talked about things like masturbation so that I didn't grow up thinking it was dirty and horrible and wrong, and I was weird and gross for wanting to try it-- and then I could have been aware that sexual pleasure is possible without a partner. I didn't learn such things till a segment about it in my Women's Psychology class during my sophomore year of college. Had no idea about all the intricate female anatomy or any of that.

I'm in my late 20s and there's still a lot I don't know, I'm sure. Like pinkrevenge just made me realize I know 0 things about anal sex. 0. Never learned about it, never talked about it, never tried it. I feel like a Puritan in the 1600s sometimes.

I was doing it long before I even knew what it was. I think I was maybe 10-12 when I found out hey if I touch this like this it feels fucking good and it gives me this thing that I refer to as a "space out". It wasn't until I was about 14 talking with friends that I realized that was masturbating and it was called an orgasm.
And I knew nothing about a man orgasm/ ejaculating. My first time I gave a blow job, I just kept going for like ten minutes after he came because I didn't know that meant it was done/ achieved.
Yeah I think that's around the same age I was too, but I was terrified to ever talk about it because I was so ashamed. It was such a gross thing to touch yourself. Girls don't do that!

My guy friends always talked about it, but my girl friends didn't. So it was like "ew what is wrong with me?!"

Me too! I was soaking in all their talk but on the outside I was like "No, I don't do that- I have no idea what you're talking about".

julieanne912 · May 2015

I grew up in a very Jesusy household, and only learned about abstinence. I lost my virginity at 18, and when my mom found out, she cried and said she was a bad mother. Funnily enough, she now lives in Clovis, which was referenced in one of the articles of the OP. I grew up an hour south of there. I recall my school teachings to be similar to novella's.... some videos and a bit of period chat. This was freshman year in high school. I started getting my period in 6th grade, so a bit late on that one.

jenna8984 · May 2015

@hellosweetie1015 OMG asking your brother about it!! That must have been so awkward! hahahah

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

jenna8984 said:
hellosweetie1015 OMG asking your brother about it!! That must have been so awkward! hahahah

I honest to God didn't know what else to do. I was terrified, and I felt like my parents had better things to worry about. My brother was my absolute best friend then, so frightened 13-year-old me thought there was no one else to ask.

I'm like 97% sure he's completely blocked that memory, but I will be DAMNED if I let my daughter be so far out of the loop as to not know what her period is.

novella1186 · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

jenna8984 said:
hellosweetie1015 OMG asking your brother about it!! That must have been so awkward! hahahah
I honest to God didn't know what else to do. I was terrified, and I felt like my parents had better things to worry about. My brother was my absolute best friend then, so frightened 13-year-old me thought there was no one else to ask.

I'm like 97% sure he's completely blocked that memory, but I will be DAMNED if I let my daughter be so far out of the loop as to not know what her period is.

I remember having no idea how to use a tampon. I finally decided to try, read all the instructions on the box, could not for the life of me get it. Had no idea there was more than 1 hole down there. I eventually had to use a mirror to see what was going on, and I was even more baffled.

Two days and several tries later, I finally got one to work, and I ran into my sister's room in victory to tell her I put a tampon in. She laughed and said congratulations. I had been dying to ask her for help/advice on what to do but was way too embarrassed so instead I shared my triumph with her.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

novella1186 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

jenna8984 said:
hellosweetie1015 OMG asking your brother about it!! That must have been so awkward! hahahah
I honest to God didn't know what else to do. I was terrified, and I felt like my parents had better things to worry about. My brother was my absolute best friend then, so frightened 13-year-old me thought there was no one else to ask.

I'm like 97% sure he's completely blocked that memory, but I will be DAMNED if I let my daughter be so far out of the loop as to not know what her period is.
I remember having no idea how to use a tampon. I finally decided to try, read all the instructions on the box, could not for the life of me get it. Had no idea there was more than 1 hole down there. I eventually had to use a mirror to see what was going on, and I was even more baffled.

Two days and several tries later, I finally got one to work, and I ran into my sister's room in victory to tell her I put a tampon in. She laughed and said congratulations. I had been dying to ask her for help/advice on what to do but was way too embarrassed so instead I shared my triumph with her.

OH JESUS. FUCKING TAMPONS. I couldn't use them until I lost my virginity at fucking NINETEEN. I wore pads for SIX YEARS, and they always, always, always felt like I was wearing a poopy diaper. I can remember many nights where I sat in the bathroom at my parents' house trying and trying to use a tampon and getting so frustrated I'd burst into tears. The box didn't help, the Tampax "get started with tampons" pamphlet didn't help, my mother didn't help (although god love her, she tried). It was AWFUL.

afox007 · May 2015

I feel like I learned most things about sex on my own. 5th and 6th grade we did the puberty/period lecture. This came too little too late for me as well as most of my friends.

In 8th grade we briefly touched on if you combine boy parts with girl parts you get a baby or an STD. There were videos and pictures, but nothing on having sex, or safe sex. I ended up going to a Christian school for high school and got kicked out of the abstinence lecture. After the teacher said it was the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy I found it appropriate to bring up the Virgin Mary.

In all of this and even combined with my mom thinking she was the cool mom for being so open with me about sex, I actually had no clue what sex was until shortly before I started having it. I was convinced that it was just penis rubbing in between the labia with no penetration. Since I'd already discovered masterbation the penis rubbing seemed like it made sense and would feel good.

I actually wound up thinking I invented a whole new method of sex. I had grabbed a mirror and decided to investigate down there and realized that the same place the tampon went was possibly big enoug for a penis. 13 year old me was convinced I invented penetration which sounded more fun than just rubbing.

TrixieJess · May 2015

Reading your stories I feel kind of glad that my BSC mother was an RN. She at least talked to me frankly about everything and told me what to expect leading up to my periods and whatnot. Still didn't prepare me for laying on the bathroom floor writhing in pain and puking my guts out 5 days out of the month.

My parents were very much discussion at the dinner table kind of people and no topics were out of bounds. We talked about sex, drugs, abortion (not fully legal in Canada until 1988), all kinds of stuff. My parents were children of the 60s and open about the things they had done and what they would allow (I was allowed to do pretty much anything). The thing about it though is that it made me think about the consequences of my behaviour more than if my parents had said, Don't do that!

novella1186 · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

novella1186 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

jenna8984 said:
hellosweetie1015 OMG asking your brother about it!! That must have been so awkward! hahahah
I honest to God didn't know what else to do. I was terrified, and I felt like my parents had better things to worry about. My brother was my absolute best friend then, so frightened 13-year-old me thought there was no one else to ask.

I'm like 97% sure he's completely blocked that memory, but I will be DAMNED if I let my daughter be so far out of the loop as to not know what her period is.
I remember having no idea how to use a tampon. I finally decided to try, read all the instructions on the box, could not for the life of me get it. Had no idea there was more than 1 hole down there. I eventually had to use a mirror to see what was going on, and I was even more baffled.

Two days and several tries later, I finally got one to work, and I ran into my sister's room in victory to tell her I put a tampon in. She laughed and said congratulations. I had been dying to ask her for help/advice on what to do but was way too embarrassed so instead I shared my triumph with her.
OH JESUS. FUCKING TAMPONS. I couldn't use them until I lost my virginity at fucking NINETEEN. I wore pads for SIX YEARS, and they always, always, always felt like I was wearing a poopy diaper. I can remember many nights where I sat in the bathroom at my parents' house trying and trying to use a tampon and getting so frustrated I'd burst into tears. The box didn't help, the Tampax "get started with tampons" pamphlet didn't help, my mother didn't help (although god love her, she tried). It was AWFUL.

I was determined to use a tampon before I lost my virginity (which happened at age 15, long before I knew anything about anything) because all I knew was that the first time you had sex hurt really bad. Or at least that's what the rumors were. So my logic was that if I could get a tampon to go in there, maybe when I eventually had sex it wouldn't be such a terrible painful thing.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

I am DYING at some of these stories.

When I first heard people talking about "oral sex," I was smart enough to know that oral = mouth but naive enough not to think you actually PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. So I thought oral sex = talking, like phone sex/general dirty talk. I, uh, prefer not to reveal how old I was when I realized that was NOT accurate.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

lolo883 said:
I am DYING at some of these stories.

When I first heard people talking about "oral sex," I was smart enough to know that oral = mouth but naive enough not to think you actually PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. So I thought oral sex = talking, like phone sex/general dirty talk. I, uh, prefer not to reveal how old I was when I realized that was NOT accurate.

I'll tell how old I was.

I was fucking 20 years old when I realized oral sex was not phone sex. The Google told me what it was.

ShesSoCold · May 2015

I have an older sister and I vaguely recall learning about periods from her and my best friend's older sister. When I got my first period it was like, "Damn. Now I have to deal with this now." and mentioned it to my mom. NBD.

And @afox007 I am DYING at my desk. DYING.

loveislouder · May 2015

The high school I went to was very... sex is for married people thats it. So there was legit like, a secret society of high schoolers that put a lock on a non-rented locker in the school and it was the condom locker. Literally full of condoms, pamphlets on abortions and std clinics and lube. I thought it was a myth, but nope, literal secret society.

chibiyui · May 2015

pinkrevenge said:
See, I knew about male orgasms because you needed one to make a baby. I knew that in the fifth grade.

But I kept seeing the word "orgasm" in cosmo and was like "Wait, what is that? What are they talking about?"

I figured it out at 15.
Sad that the same magazine that says you should eat a donut off your partner's dick is the one that taught me that women actually enjoy sex. Thanks for that, everyone.

I will give some props to one health teacher I had who let us watch the movie Where Did I Come From just to laugh at it. Holy shit, look that up.

I read all my sisters old Cosmo's when I was like, 13-15 so I learned a lot of sex stuff there.

My schools sex ed was alright. We did learn about various forms of protection, but it definitely could have been better.

My mom was also very open about birth control and letting me know I could get on it at any point, and when I had my first serious boyfriend she was like "I want you on the pill" I was all "No, I'm going to wait till marriage!"

My mom was no dummy. I didn't wait till marriage, and I got on the pill. Thanks Mom.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

You know what.

These forums are the closest I've ever come to sex ed. I've learned more about my body than I ever could have thought to ask.

jenna8984 · May 2015

@afox007 I started landing my cartwheels on both feet at the same time and was convinced that I had invented the round-off. Yours is SOOO much better. A++++ for that story!!!!

mikenberger · May 2015

My school's sex ed was very basic.

My dad's sex ed when I first got my period "So you can be a Mom. Do you want to be a Mom? I didn't fucking think so. If you get a boyfriend and you want to have sex with him (he believed I knew what sex was?), there are condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. Do not let some asshole have sex with you without one. Yeah, they feel like shit, but you won't get pregnant and you won't catch some disease all because some dickhead needed to get some. And if you're not sure about sex, don't have it. It's that fucking simple. I'm too young to be a Grandpa. And when you do have sex, keep one foot on the ground. It doesn't count if you've got one foot heading towards the door." He is a crude man. But by God, I never got pregnant and when I caught chlamydia at 18 and he found out "What'd I tell you about condoms? Good for you it's something curable. Don't do that again." And gave me a box of condoms. Never had another STD lol (And little did I know that my Dad employed that "It doesn't count if you have one foot on the floor" methodology more than once. Hence my parents divorce.) He also kept Penthouses and Hustlers in plain view that I snuck a peek at every so often. And it always creeped me out when the labias and whatnot were pulled to give the full view. "So that's what it looks like? Bologna? Ew."

My Mom... oh dear. You would've thought we were hatched and she'd never had sex before.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

mikenberger said:
My school's sex ed was very basic.

My dad's sex ed when I first got my period "So you can be a Mom. Do you want to be a Mom? I didn't fucking think so. If you get a boyfriend and you want to have sex with him (he believed I knew what sex was?), there are condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. Do not let some asshole have sex with you without one. Yeah, they feel like shit, but you won't get pregnant and you won't catch some disease all because some dickhead needed to get some. And if you're not sure about sex, don't have it. It's that fucking simple. I'm too young to be a Grandpa. And when you do have sex, keep one foot on the ground. It doesn't count if you've got one foot heading towards the door." He is a crude man. But by God, I never got pregnant and when I caught chlamydia at 18 and he found out "What'd I tell you about condoms? Good for you it's something curable. Don't do that again." And gave me a box of condoms. Never had another STD lol (And little did I know that my Dad employed that "It doesn't count if you have one foot on the floor" methodology more than once. Hence my parents divorce.) He also kept Penthouses and Hustlers in plain view that I snuck a peek at every so often. And it always creeped me out when the labias and whatnot were pulled to give the full view. "So that's what it looks like? Bologna? Ew."

My Mom... oh dear. You would've thought we were hatched and she'd never had sex before.

We may have the same mother.

princessleia22 · May 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

lolo883 said:
I am DYING at some of these stories.

When I first heard people talking about "oral sex," I was smart enough to know that oral = mouth but naive enough not to think you actually PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. So I thought oral sex = talking, like phone sex/general dirty talk. I, uh, prefer not to reveal how old I was when I realized that was NOT accurate.
I'll tell how old I was.

I was fucking 20 years old when I realized oral sex was not phone sex. The Google told me what it was.

Hey, I had to explain oral sex to my +/- 50 year old mother. Learning it when you are 20 isn't so bad.

Bye

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