I also want to say there is some strange perception that us mods are going around warning regs all the time. Especially on CC.
During my tenure on CC I banned a few spammers. I warned a handful of "regs" for blatant violations . There were a few issues that I was on the fence and I consulted the KGs. Some resulted in a warning, others were not.
We do not like warning people, but sometimes it's necessary. And yes, sometimes it's for something pretty mundane. We get a lot of stupid reported threads. I would say less then 5% reported threads actually result in a warning.
You need 5 warnings to be banned. FIVE. It's not like it's one and done. For the average reg, 1 maudane warning isn't a big deal. It's not like regs are dropping out left and right due to having 5 warnings. I would say the vast majority of regs have 1 or no warnings. Fact is, when you post as much as regs to it's bound to happen they step over the line. In my case, it was thinking it was smart to reply to an insane situation late night after drinking
For the record, at no time was Ashley warned by me. She toed the line, but never got a warning. I wasn't her biggest fan as of late, but I didn't go around warning her to get her off the boards.
If she had taken her warning like an adult, she would still be here. I'm not saying she needed to just sit back and not question the warning. There are just more productive ways to question something than having an temper tantrum. Look at Addie, she got warned on something mundane, still is questioning the reasoning, but she didn't and still doesn't go around having a temper tantrum over it.
By the end Ashley was telling TK to fuck themselves and begging to be banned. At any time she could have stepped away and regrouped. She choose not to and then got her wish to be banned.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I also want to say there is some strange perception that us mods are going around warning regs all the time. Especially on CC.
During my tenure on CC I banned a few spammers. I warned a handful of "regs" for blatant violations . There were a few issues that I was on the fence and I consulted the KGs. Some resulted in a warning, others were not.
We do not like warning people, but sometimes it's necessary. And yes, sometimes it's for something pretty mundane. We get a lot of stupid reported threads. I would say less then 5% reported threads actually result in a warning.
You need 5 warnings to be banned. FIVE. It's not like it's one and done. For the average reg, 1 maudane warning isn't a big deal. It's not like regs are dropping out left and right due to having 5 warnings. I would say the vast majority of regs have 1 or no warnings. Fact is, when you post as much as regs to it's bound to happen they step over the line. In my case, it was thinking it was smart to reply to an insane situation late night after drinking
For the record, at no time was Ashley warned by me. She toed the line, but never got a warning. I wasn't her biggest fan as of late, but I didn't go around warning her to get her off the boards.
If she had taken her warning like an adult, she would still be here. I'm not saying she needed to just sit back and not question the warning. There are just more productive ways to question something than having an temper tantrum. Look at Addie, she got warned on something mundane, still is questioning the reasoning, but she didn't and still doesn't go around having a temper tantrum over it.
By the end Ashley was telling TK to fuck themselves and begging to be banned. At any time she could have stepped away and regrouped. She choose not to and then got her wish to be banned.
And I really hope you don't think I'm criticizing you or SouthernBelle or WandaJune or any of the moderators, because you've all been really...well, moderate, as far as I know. That's good.
I really don't think this is all about Ashley. I think it's about concern over multiple things, and over where this might be leading.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
Per the comment on feeling attacked, I don't care about people attacking my comments. I just worry about using the wrong phraseology. Yes, everyone should be PC and respectful but sometimes it's just exhausting to check every word that you use. I also think that there's endless berating of people with differing views. On top of that, we've seen lots of people get beat up for phasing things poorly-- and no forgiveness when they try to correct themselves.
I don't mind if someone tells me I'm acting like a fool. It just feels like CC frequently devolves into confrontation over minor transgressions that people apologize for. It gets a bit boring.
As for the TH comment about moving too fast, it wasn't meant as an insult to TH or anyone. I have a hard time keeping up on CC as well- and frequently don't. Perhaps my short foray into TH was at a peculiar time but I felt like there was no way to ever keep up. Here, I feel like it's easier- though I fully admit that there are plenty of threads that I skip entirely.
I agree with everything @lyndausvi said. I'll also add that warning and banning people is something that none of us take likely. I think we're all concerned with fairness and consistency.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
Whereas I'm censoring myself here a lot of the time. We have very different perspectives, because you see the people on here getting offended because someone was "mean" to them, and I see it as a lot of people having weak hides and looking for reasons to be mad. There's a lot of playing the victim and trumping up offenses.
That's not what I was talking about. I'm talking about some posters that would get worked up in a thread, and taking it totally off topic to talk about how something someone else said was offensive etc etc. That would happen often and take the thread totally off track for pages with arguments deciding whether or not it was offensive or not. That shit is tiring.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
The first two items are absolutely personal interpretation- what makes a "ruined" thread or "disaster" or "people going crazy" to you, may simply be a lively discussion to someone else.
The third bolded- This is fine. That's your choice and your communication style. Nobody requires that you behave differently. Would the world be better if everyone communicated just like you, and conversations went the way you're comfortable with? For you, absolutely.
For me, it would be better if everyone communicated just like me.
But that's not how conversation in a forum works, or in the real world, for that matter. Everyone has different comfort levels of what makes a conversation acceptable. It's absolutely 100% impossible to accommodate all of them.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
Whereas I'm censoring myself here a lot of the time. We have very different perspectives, because you see the people on here getting offended because someone was "mean" to them, and I see it as a lot of people having weak hides and looking for reasons to be mad. There's a lot of playing the victim and trumping up offenses.
That's not what I was talking about. I'm talking about some posters that would get worked up in a thread, and taking it totally off topic to talk about how something someone else said was offensive etc etc. That would happen often and take the thread totally off track for pages with arguments deciding whether or not it was offensive or not. That shit is tiring.
Where my boxes at!
Like the baby shower "little lady" thread that Jenna started? Yes, that was stupid, and got out of hand and I said as much. Clearly people agreed with me and others who spoke up disagreeing with Magic and whoever else. We don't all have to agree, and some are more vocal than others. If you can't stand up for yourself, that is your problem not anyone elses.
We can disagree with other posters and still like them. If we all had the same opinions that would be pretty damn boring.
And the riot thread. Well, for me at least that made me think about it differently. If you're offended because someone called you a privileged white woman, well, it's true. We are all privileged most likely or we wouldn't be here talking about weddings.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
The first two items are absolutely personal interpretation- what makes a "ruined" thread or "disaster" or "people going crazy" to you, may simply be a lively discussion to someone else.
The third bolded- This is fine. That's your choice and your communication style. Nobody requires that you behave differently. Would the world be better if everyone communicated just like you, and conversations went the way you're comfortable with? For you, absolutely.
For me, it would be better if everyone communicated just like me.
But that's not how conversation in a forum works, or in the real world, for that matter. Everyone has different comfort levels of what makes a conversation acceptable. It's absolutely 100% impossible to accommodate all of them.
See and that's totally fine! This thread was about our personal opinions on this topic, right? So there ya go, I'm just stating my personal opinions. I think we've seen, based on responses, there's a wide variety of opinions about this. I also think it's interesting how everyone reads and interprets things.
And you are very correct, it's impossible to accommodate 100% of everybody. That's where the board owners come in.... they decide who they want to accommodate. Then we, as members, decide if we want to do things their way, or if we move onto somewhere else that will do things the way we want.
I at least don't feel like the mods are particularly involved in this. There's one mod that doesn't post a lot, can't think of the name, that was the one that said something about the polar bear gifs, can't even think of the name that made me go like wut. There's other mods that clearly have different opinions from myself, but there's no beef with me for that.
I think it's pretty clear overall though that the mods are pretty fair, pretty good at policing themselves, and don't have a hand in the bullshit. It's admin being out of touch, same as usual. At least that's my perception.
I've been called out for saying stupid things- specifically, I referred to a gender reveal (which turned into a discussion about how sex reveal sounds like a rather different kind of party and who cares about the sex anyway), and I believe on another thread I said something about an article about an alleged victim sounding like MUD. I apologized and everyone moved on.
If you think it's exhausting to be PC, imagine how exhausting it is to be part of a marginalized group that's consistently ignored. It's when you insist on continuing to use problematic language that it turns into a free-for-all flamefest.
I also want to say there is some strange perception that us mods are going around warning regs all the time. Especially on CC.
During my tenure on CC I banned a few spammers. I warned a handful of "regs" for blatant violations . There were a few issues that I was on the fence and I consulted the KGs. Some resulted in a warning, others were not.
We do not like warning people, but sometimes it's necessary. And yes, sometimes it's for something pretty mundane. We get a lot of stupid reported threads. I would say less then 5% reported threads actually result in a warning.
You need 5 warnings to be banned. FIVE. It's not like it's one and done. For the average reg, 1 maudane warning isn't a big deal. It's not like regs are dropping out left and right due to having 5 warnings. I would say the vast majority of regs have 1 or no warnings. Fact is, when you post as much as regs to it's bound to happen they step over the line. In my case, it was thinking it was smart to reply to an insane situation late night after drinking
For the record, at no time was Ashley warned by me. She toed the line, but never got a warning. I wasn't her biggest fan as of late, but I didn't go around warning her to get her off the boards.
If she had taken her warning like an adult, she would still be here. I'm not saying she needed to just sit back and not question the warning. There are just more productive ways to question something than having an temper tantrum. Look at Addie, she got warned on something mundane, still is questioning the reasoning, but she didn't and still doesn't go around having a temper tantrum over it.
By the end Ashley was telling TK to fuck themselves and begging to be banned. At any time she could have stepped away and regrouped. She choose not to and then got her wish to be banned.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
But that has nothing to do with a Mean Girls mentality, and making the boards more polite isn't going to change it either.
That's an issue with idividual people being, imo, overly sensitive, taking things too personally, incorrectly reading tone into other people's posts, and going straight to outrageous outrage rather than saying, "Hey, I found that offensive. I'm going to assume that wasn't really your intent, but i wanted to let you know."
I don't say anything to anyone on these boards I wouldn't say to their face off boards, in reality. I'm direct, and I can be blunt and snarky too.
If I think you (general) are being fucking ridiculous, I'm going to tell you.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
But that has nothing to do with a Mean Girls mentality, and making the boards more polite isn't going to change it either.
That's an issue with idividual people being, imo, overly sensitive, taking things too personally, incorrectly reading tone into other people's posts, and going straight to outrageous outrage rather than saying, "Hey, I found that offensive. I'm going to assume that wasn't really your intent, but i wanted to let you know."
I don't say anything to anyone on these boards I wouldn't say to their face off boards, in reality. I'm direct, and I can be blunt and snarky too.
If I think you (general) are being fucking ridiculous, I'm going to tell you.
I do agree that this board isn't somewhere I think would fall into the "Mean Girls" category.
I've been around for a while. I've said some stupid shit, and I've seen some people say some REALLY stupid shit.
That being said, this isn't high school. There's no Mean Girls, no cliques. It's like some of the newbies think the regs all sit at the popular table in the cafeteria and as soon as we don't validate their terrible idea, it's like we've told them they can't sit with us and they go and tell the principal. You know what I mean?
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
And I assure you, I do the same thing. Everything I've said on this board is something I would have no qualms about saying to someone's face. My friends are all aware that if they are looking for validation, they've come to the wrong place. My friends also know I will never lie to them and they always know where they stand with me.
Just because you draw a different line as to what you're actually willing to say to someone's face does not mean that you are somehow nicer or that the people who have those different lines are in fact hiding behind the internet to be mean.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
****BOXES****
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
*****************************
Where did I say I expected a medal for it? I was just saying that's how I approach the board. I fully realize that not everyone does things the same way I do, but again, this thread was about our own personal opinions about this topic. I certainly didn't expect everyone to have the same opinion as me.
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
And I assure you, I do the same thing. Everything I've said on this board is something I would have no qualms about saying to someone's face. My friends are all aware that if they are looking for validation, they've come to the wrong place. My friends also know I will never lie to them and they always know where they stand with me.
Just because you draw a different line as to what you're actually willing to say to someone's face does not mean that you are somehow nicer or that the people who have those different lines are in fact hiding behind the internet to be mean.
julieanne912 said:I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
****BOXES****
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
********This is a box********************
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
A lot of things in this thread are bothering me.
There is a lot of premature rejoicing here on this thread. "Oh goody gumdrops! The meanies have gone away so it's now safe to speak, and encourage a more polite community! Hurrah! I was afraid to post before, but now the sun is shining. Maybe the kingdom will enact laws to create peace and happiness in our village."
Does everyone coming out of the Kindness Cottage realize that nobody left?
Just Ashley. Everyone else is still here. Nothing has changed.
I find the "new" (?) TOS a slippery, clear-as-mud slope as usual. I am wholly aware that I can't say, "Hey, you're a cuntwaffle." I KNOW that's an attack. Any idiot knows that. But who in the world would ever think that I couldn't say someone was "insane" for biting off more than they could probably chew on her wedding day? Whoda thunk that was oh-so-offensive?
Five warnings and then a ban? Cool. But again, I KNOW I'm getting warned or banned for straight up calling you a "stupid whore." But am I seriously in danger of racking up 5 warnings for calling you "insane" instead of "a silly goose" or " you're making a bad choice" ? Because it would appear I am indeed in danger of that. How the fuck is anyone supposed to know when they might be "attacking" under these conditions?
If someone calls me rude, harsh, or a bully, can I report them and they get a warning? Because.....ya know....I"m offended when you describe me in a way I don't like or call me a "name."
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
****BOXES****
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
********This is a box********************
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
A lot of things in this thread are bothering me.
There is a lot of premature rejoicing here on this thread. "Oh goody gumdrops! The meanies have gone away so it's now safe to speak, and encourage a more polite community! Hurrah! I was afraid to post before, but now the sun is shining. Maybe the kingdom will enact laws to create peace and happiness in our village."
Does everyone coming out of the Kindness Cottage realize that nobody left?
Just Ashley. Everyone else is still here. Nothing has changed.
Calm down, villagers.
------------------WTF Does TK Hate Boxes---------------------------------------
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
****BOXES****
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
********This is a box********************
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
A lot of things in this thread are bothering me.
There is a lot of premature rejoicing here on this thread. "Oh goody gumdrops! The meanies have gone away so it's now safe to speak, and encourage a more polite community! Hurrah! I was afraid to post before, but now the sun is shining. Maybe the kingdom will enact laws to create peace and happiness in our village."
Does everyone coming out of the Kindness Cottage realize that nobody left?
Just Ashley. Everyone else is still here. Nothing has changed.
Calm down, villagers.
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Fully aware nobody has left other than Ashley. Some people have said they've left, but I know how that goes, remains to be see if they stay gone. As I have continually been stating, the thread was started to ask our opinions about what went down. I think that's what we're all doing here, right?
I find the "new" (?) TOS a slippery, clear-as-mud slope as usual. I am wholly aware that I can't say, "Hey, you're a cuntwaffle." I KNOW that's an attack. Any idiot knows that. But who in the world would ever think that I couldn't say someone was "insane" for biting off more than they could probably chew on her wedding day? Whoda thunk that was oh-so-offensive?
Five warnings and then a ban? Cool. But again, I KNOW I'm getting warned or banned for straight up calling you a "stupid whore." But am I seriously in danger of racking up 5 warnings for calling you "insane" instead of "a silly goose" or " you're making a bad choice" ? Because it would appear I am indeed in danger of that. How the fuck is anyone supposed to know when they might be "attacking" under these conditions?
If someone calls me rude, harsh, or a bully, can I report them and they get a warning? Because.....ya know....I"m offended when you describe me in a way I don't like or call me a "name."
THIS. Can I report someone for saying they're not inviting SOs because it offends me?
I have to laugh at CC being described as Mean Girls.
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
This is sort of what I was talking about... basically a rather mundane thread being turned into a 5 page disaster because someone worded something in a way that inadvertently offended somebody else, and that somebody else going completely crazy over it. It happens here in ChitChat VERY often, and is one of the reasons I don't even participate in certain threads. Some of it completely ruins some discussions instead of enhancing them.
Maybe I'm weird, but I try to approach interactions here just like I do "in real life". If I wouldn't say something to somebody's face in person, I'm certainly not going to say it here.
****BOXES****
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
********This is a box********************
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
A lot of things in this thread are bothering me.
There is a lot of premature rejoicing here on this thread. "Oh goody gumdrops! The meanies have gone away so it's now safe to speak, and encourage a more polite community! Hurrah! I was afraid to post before, but now the sun is shining. Maybe the kingdom will enact laws to create peace and happiness in our village."
Does everyone coming out of the Kindness Cottage realize that nobody left?
Just Ashley. Everyone else is still here. Nothing has changed.
Calm down, villagers.
**********
Fully aware nobody has left other than Ashley. Some people have said they've left, but I know how that goes, remains to be see if they stay gone. As I have continually been stating, the thread was started to ask our opinions about what went down. I think that's what we're all doing here, right? ****BOX******
That's been established. There is no need to keep repeating it. Believe it or not, this was not exclusively directed at you. Hence the word "everyone." Also "a lot of things."
Nor does the question inviting opinion apply exclusively to you. This is my opinion on several of the posts on this thread.
Thank you for reading this post. Please. I beg your pardon. Why, excuse me. You're welcome.
Re: Whaaaaaat is going on here?
I pop in and out of here, and by and large it has always seemed to me as the land of Everyone Gets Offended. I made an Oprah GIF especially for this board because some very innocent threads get way out of control. I'm thinking specifically of a thread last December meant to open a conversation about favorite Christmas songs.
I can understand why some people might come across as harsh with their WTF reactions to others when so many people seem to be trying to find reasons to be offended over here.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
We have very different perspectives, because you see the people on here getting offended because someone was "mean" to them, and I see it as a lot of people having weak hides and looking for reasons to be mad. There's a lot of playing the victim and trumping up offenses.
That's not what I was talking about. I'm talking about some posters that would get worked up in a thread, and taking it totally off topic to talk about how something someone else said was offensive etc etc. That would happen often and take the thread totally off track for pages with arguments deciding whether or not it was offensive or not. That shit is tiring.
The first two items are absolutely personal interpretation- what makes a "ruined" thread or "disaster" or "people going crazy" to you, may simply be a lively discussion to someone else.
We have very different perspectives, because you see the people on here getting offended because someone was "mean" to them, and I see it as a lot of people having weak hides and looking for reasons to be mad. There's a lot of playing the victim and trumping up offenses.
That's not what I was talking about. I'm talking about some posters that would get worked up in a thread, and taking it totally off topic to talk about how something someone else said was offensive etc etc. That would happen often and take the thread totally off track for pages with arguments deciding whether or not it was offensive or not. That shit is tiring.
Like the baby shower "little lady" thread that Jenna started? Yes, that was stupid, and got out of hand and I said as much. Clearly people agreed with me and others who spoke up disagreeing with Magic and whoever else. We don't all have to agree, and some are more vocal than others. If you can't stand up for yourself, that is your problem not anyone elses.
See and that's totally fine! This thread was about our personal opinions on this topic, right? So there ya go, I'm just stating my personal opinions. I think we've seen, based on responses, there's a wide variety of opinions about this. I also think it's interesting how everyone reads and interprets things.
That's an issue with idividual people being, imo, overly sensitive, taking things too personally, incorrectly reading tone into other people's posts, and going straight to outrageous outrage rather than saying, "Hey, I found that offensive. I'm going to assume that wasn't really your intent, but i wanted to let you know."
I don't say anything to anyone on these boards I wouldn't say to their face off boards, in reality. I'm direct, and I can be blunt and snarky too.
If I think you (general) are being fucking ridiculous, I'm going to tell you.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Just because you draw a different line as to what you're actually willing to say to someone's face does not mean that you are somehow nicer or that the people who have those different lines are in fact hiding behind the internet to be mean.
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
Where did I say I expected a medal for it? I was just saying that's how I approach the board. I fully realize that not everyone does things the same way I do, but again, this thread was about our own personal opinions about this topic. I certainly didn't expect everyone to have the same opinion as me.
Just because you draw a different line as to what you're actually willing to say to someone's face does not mean that you are somehow nicer or that the people who have those different lines are in fact hiding behind the internet to be mean.
And nowhere did I say it did.
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
Damn it...I was about to put away my pitchfork...
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.
Formerly martha1818
"Ruins" discussions in your opinion, but you apparently don't realize that not everyone is you and not everyone wants the same things as you. If you don't want to participate in a thread that went in a direction you don't like, that's fantastic for you. Don't participate in it. But don't expect a medal for it, because it's not noteworthy.
I would like a medal for suffering through some conversations. Probably this one, by the end of the day.