Ok, so I'll level, this is a post just to vent. FI & I have been engaged for a little over a year, both in grad school and saving for the the wedding. Because of a number of reasons - being poor students, my job making me the "career spouse," not feeling the need to have my FI be "the breadwinner" - I had asked that he not buy an engagement ring, particularly not a diamond. I figured we'd each buy wedding bands, and that was enough.
He figured a sneaky way around this by using his great-great-grandmother's wedding band for to proposal. It means so much to know that I'm trusted with a family heirloom. It does fit on my ring finger, but is a little loose, so I usually wear it on the middle one. I didn't resize it or anything because it has a pre-1910 inscription inside.
My rant is this: I'm getting a lot of flack for not having a diamond, and people - both men and women - with whom I currently work keep asking if he's really serious because he didn't buy one. I feel like I am constantly having to defend this decision, despite the fact that this ring's history is, to me, more valuable than some over-pressed carbon. The worst part is, I work in higher-ed with dozens of supposedly actualized women who are getting their PhDs, many of whom will, like myself, be the educated, "career" spouse.
Now, if you have a diamond, and you wanted it, I have no issue with that. But has anyone else been dealing with this out there? Even if it's not the ring, there seem to be a high number of things people just expect you to want, and a near vitriolic reaction when you don't want them.