FMIL problems..

KatieinBkln · June 2015

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

my future MIL is the only thing causing me stress. Up until the wedding planning I loved her but she is taking over and I'm starting to see just how childish she is. She has had a few run ins with 2 of my maids/ my matron and she flat out told me she doesn't like them. She turned my 250 invited wedding into 330. My shower from 50 to 80. I feel like people will think I'm greedy because they're invited to the shower and I don't even know them! The wedding is in 4 months and she refuses to go look at dresses because she's going to lose weight (she won't). She told everyone about a special dance my dad and I are planning that was supposed to be a surprise. I talk to her about it and she gets all bent out of shape and then tells people in a bit** and a bridezilla (which I don't think I've been so far). The worst part is that my fiance wants nothing to do with the drama so I can't even ask him to step in. My mom and all my maids dislike her because of how she's acting. She's causing me so much stress and causing tension between everyone involved. How do I handle this?!

Grow a backbone and tell her to back the fuck off.
Maybe my original post didn't set this up well enough for y'all. I told her to back the fuck off and she acted like a child and posted on Facebook that I'm a bitch. She tattles to everyone whenever I tell her to back off. Its causing tension all around. If I could show you the texts and posts youd all be changing your responses

NO. We wouldn't. We'd tell you to get over it. She's an adult that is behaving like a child and you are giving her everything she's going to bitch and moan about. You're digging your own grave.

Give back her money, plan your own wedding and keep her out of it. And tell your FI to grow a pair and get involved.

And tell your maids to defriend her. Seriously. Y'all sound like a bunch of high schoolers.
Y'all are so supporive..

People have literally given you the exact steps you need to take to remove all these problems from your life. You are mad because, what? They didn't pat your head and tell you "Oh honey it's not your fault at all, poor baby"?

Which do you want, advice, or head pats? Because you asked for advice. You got some excellent advice.

mikenberger · June 2015

And you've been quoted my dear. It will forever stay on the interwebz. No matter how much you DD. Thanks for playing!

Maggie0829 · June 2015

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

my future MIL is the only thing causing me stress. Up until the wedding planning I loved her but she is taking over and I'm starting to see just how childish she is. She has had a few run ins with 2 of my maids/ my matron and she flat out told me she doesn't like them. She turned my 250 invited wedding into 330. My shower from 50 to 80. I feel like people will think I'm greedy because they're invited to the shower and I don't even know them! The wedding is in 4 months and she refuses to go look at dresses because she's going to lose weight (she won't). She told everyone about a special dance my dad and I are planning that was supposed to be a surprise. I talk to her about it and she gets all bent out of shape and then tells people in a bit** and a bridezilla (which I don't think I've been so far). The worst part is that my fiance wants nothing to do with the drama so I can't even ask him to step in. My mom and all my maids dislike her because of how she's acting. She's causing me so much stress and causing tension between everyone involved. How do I handle this?!

Grow a backbone and tell her to back the fuck off.
Maybe my original post didn't set this up well enough for y'all. I told her to back the fuck off and she acted like a child and posted on Facebook that I'm a bitch. She tattles to everyone whenever I tell her to back off. Its causing tension all around. If I could show you the texts and posts youd all be changing your responses

NO. We wouldn't. We'd tell you to get over it. She's an adult that is behaving like a child and you are giving her everything she's going to bitch and moan about. You're digging your own grave.

Give back her money, plan your own wedding and keep her out of it. And tell your FI to grow a pair and get involved.

And tell your maids to defriend her. Seriously. Y'all sound like a bunch of high schoolers.
Y'all are so supporive..

I am guessing you wanted...

"OMG she is such a bitch! You deserve so much better then her. And who cares that she is paying you should get your way on everything because you are a super special bride. And of course you should have a say over her dress. In fact you should be able to control her every mood. If I were you I would tell her that she is dead to you and make your FI cut all ties. That will show her."

Yeah, you picked the wrong forum if you wanted shit like that.

KatWAG · June 2015

The DD was so predictable.

mikenberger · June 2015

KatWAG said:

The DD was so predictable.

Predictable DD is predictable.

sarawifenow · June 2015

Wait this was a DD?! I would have never guessed!

climbingsingle · June 2015

Yeah, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that your FMIL isn't the problem.

You were given constructive advice. You just didn't want to take it.

VulgarGirl · June 2015

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

my future MIL is the only thing causing me stress. Up until the wedding planning I loved her but she is taking over and I'm starting to see just how childish she is. She has had a few run ins with 2 of my maids/ my matron and she flat out told me she doesn't like them. She turned my 250 invited wedding into 330. My shower from 50 to 80. I feel like people will think I'm greedy because they're invited to the shower and I don't even know them! The wedding is in 4 months and she refuses to go look at dresses because she's going to lose weight (she won't). She told everyone about a special dance my dad and I are planning that was supposed to be a surprise. I talk to her about it and she gets all bent out of shape and then tells people in a bit** and a bridezilla (which I don't think I've been so far). The worst part is that my fiance wants nothing to do with the drama so I can't even ask him to step in. My mom and all my maids dislike her because of how she's acting. She's causing me so much stress and causing tension between everyone involved. How do I handle this?!

Grow a backbone and tell her to back the fuck off.
Maybe my original post didn't set this up well enough for y'all. I told her to back the fuck off and she acted like a child and posted on Facebook that I'm a bitch. She tattles to everyone whenever I tell her to back off. Its causing tension all around. If I could show you the texts and posts youd all be changing your responses

Yeah downside of having a backbone, other people will tell you are a bitch. You stand your ground.

She's "tattling" she looks like the idoit. As long as you aren't telling her "go die in a hole you wretched bitch" that is. When I say "tell her to back the fuck off" what you actualy say is "Jane, thank you for your input but I have this". And then when she goes on FB and goes "Knottie is such a bitch!" you talk to her (not on facebook) and again go "Jane, please don't cause drama where there is none".

Also realize you're gonna be deal with this woman until she dies, you die, or you get divorced. If you have kids, this is their other grandma. So pick your battles wisely. She can buy her dress the day before the wedding. I mean honestly, it's just a dress, so don't worry about that. I'm sure she has something in her closet she can wear if worst case scenario she never goes to pick out a dress. Surely she own a button down and a skirt/dress pants? Boom outfitted.

If you don't want a huge shower, say no. Continue to say no. Yes she might call you a bitch for it. So the fuck what?

And you FI needs to handle mama. If he can't tell her to back the fuck off his wife to be you got other issues. Cause he's gonna be laying down for mama for a long time to come.

loveislouder · June 2015

I just looked at OP's profile and it says there has been 3 discussions posted but only this one shows up. Weird.

When you marry someone, you marry their entire family. You're stuck with them. If she's acting like this with your wedding hows she going to be with other big life events. Children? Pets?

mikenberger · June 2015

loveislouder said:

I just looked at OP's profile and it says there has been 3 discussions posted but only this one shows up. Weird.

Yeah. I've seen that before as well. I'd ask the mods about it, but I don't have my "read in circles" glasses with me.

jacques27 · June 2015

mikenberger said:

loveislouder said:

I just looked at OP's profile and it says there has been 3 discussions posted but only this one shows up. Weird.

Yeah. I've seen that before as well. I'd ask the mods about it, but I don't have my "read in circles" glasses with me.

I believe reporting a post may appear as "discussion" - although why those two things would be tied together, I'll never know. But considering I generally don't start threads, but I have reported three posts in my time here (all genuinely abusive direct TOS violations, by the way) and I've seen a profile or two that had hundreds of discussions started but only four or five actual discussions to their name (i.e. "I'm reporting you for not validating me, you big meanies" syndrome) I'm inclined to believe that is where it stems from.

mikenberger · June 2015

jacques27 said:

mikenberger said:

loveislouder said:

I just looked at OP's profile and it says there has been 3 discussions posted but only this one shows up. Weird.

Yeah. I've seen that before as well. I'd ask the mods about it, but I don't have my "read in circles" glasses with me.

I believe reporting a post may appear as "discussion" - although why those two things would be tied together, I'll never know. But considering I generally don't start threads, but I have reported three posts in my time here (all genuinely abusive direct TOS violations, by the way) and I've seen a profile or two that had hundreds of discussions started but only four or five actual discussions to their name (i.e. "I'm reporting you for not validating me, you big meanies" syndrome) I'm inclined to believe that is where it stems from.

TrixieJess · June 2015

mikenberger said:

jacques27 said:

mikenberger said:

loveislouder said:

I just looked at OP's profile and it says there has been 3 discussions posted but only this one shows up. Weird.

Yeah. I've seen that before as well. I'd ask the mods about it, but I don't have my "read in circles" glasses with me.

I believe reporting a post may appear as "discussion" - although why those two things would be tied together, I'll never know. But considering I generally don't start threads, but I have reported three posts in my time here (all genuinely abusive direct TOS violations, by the way) and I've seen a profile or two that had hundreds of discussions started but only four or five actual discussions to their name (i.e. "I'm reporting you for not validating me, you big meanies" syndrome) I'm inclined to believe that is where it stems from.

I'm loving this Trailer Park Boys reference!

ohannabelle · June 2015

I predict a long and happy marriage, and blissful family life here.

sarahufl · June 2015

scribe95 said:

Yes, OP reported the post twice, which is the other two discussion threads showing up.

Great use of the report button.

KatieinBkln · June 2015

I didn't even have the chance to get VULGAR!

Life isn't fair.

artbyallie · June 2015

sarahufl said:

scribe95 said:

Yes, OP reported the post twice, which is the other two discussion threads showing up.

Great use of the report button.

Happily, abusing the report button is itself a violation. We don't want a bunch of false reports any more than anyone wants to be reported falsely.

RezIpsa · June 2015

OP, you missed a step. After everyone has given you excellent advice you are supposed to call them hags and tell them you are sorry for their husbands (because obviously everyone here is female and marrying a man). THEN you DD.

This thread feels incomplete without a bingo.

BouxRadley · June 2015

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

Knottie22105860 said:

my future MIL is the only thing causing me stress. Up until the wedding planning I loved her but she is taking over and I'm starting to see just how childish she is. She has had a few run ins with 2 of my maids/ my matron and she flat out told me she doesn't like them. She turned my 250 invited wedding into 330. My shower from 50 to 80. I feel like people will think I'm greedy because they're invited to the shower and I don't even know them! The wedding is in 4 months and she refuses to go look at dresses because she's going to lose weight (she won't). She told everyone about a special dance my dad and I are planning that was supposed to be a surprise. I talk to her about it and she gets all bent out of shape and then tells people in a bit** and a bridezilla (which I don't think I've been so far). The worst part is that my fiance wants nothing to do with the drama so I can't even ask him to step in. My mom and all my maids dislike her because of how she's acting. She's causing me so much stress and causing tension between everyone involved. How do I handle this?!

Grow a backbone and tell her to back the fuck off.
Maybe my original post didn't set this up well enough for y'all. I told her to back the fuck off and she acted like a child and posted on Facebook that I'm a bitch. She tattles to everyone whenever I tell her to back off. Its causing tension all around. If I could show you the texts and posts youd all be changing your responses

NO. We wouldn't. We'd tell you to get over it. She's an adult that is behaving like a child and you are giving her everything she's going to bitch and moan about. You're digging your own grave.

Give back her money, plan your own wedding and keep her out of it. And tell your FI to grow a pair and get involved.

And tell your maids to defriend her. Seriously. Y'all sound like a bunch of high schoolers.
Y'all are so supporive..

Home slice you didn't ask for support; you asked for advice. And you got it. Obviously you haven't spent any amount of time even lurking on these boards if you didn't think you'd get a nice helping of criticism with a big slice of humble pie.

CMGragain · June 2015

I think I know why your fiance chose you to be his life partner. It sounds like you and your FMIL are a good match. This is not necessarily a bad thing. You have control over your own behavior. You do not have control over anyone else's behavior. It is entirely up to you how you respond to others.

OP, why did you post this? What were you seeking?

vikinganna87 · June 2015

@mikenberger @TrixieJess YES!!! Love Bubbles

drunkenwitch · June 2015

FMIL problems..

Re: FMIL problems..

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