I can't imagine letting a friendship fall apart over shoes.
They are not just shoes. They are butter yellow colored shoes.
Didn't you know how special that detail makes them?
/for lurkers. Pink Comic sans = sarcasm.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
So OP probably isn't here any more, but from someone whose friendship is breaking down with someone over bridesmaids dresses and shower planning (bride thought I wasn't doing enough to help plan/am a bad BM/friend because I can't make a shower due to work/money, and didn't think I was excited enough over her dress choices for us) please please reconsider what you're doing here. Your friend probably really does want to be at things, but can't afford it, and that isn't something that's easy or comfortable for people to talk about.
I do consider myself a laid-back person. But I don't generally go around telling people that I'm laid back as justification to do obviously non-laid-back things.
Example of being laid-back about attire: I asked my BMs to wear black, knee length dresses and nude or light pink shoes. They keep sending me photos asking "Are these shoes ok?" I keep responding, "Yes, they are fine. Wear whatever you're most comfortable in!" I honestly do not care, because it has zero affect on me.
Example of not being laid-back about attire: Fighting with a BM over what shade of yellow she NEEDS to wear for your special day and telling her how much she will need to spend on your wedding.
Also, WTF with planning your own "surprise" shower? You DO understand that that is somewhat oxymoronic (also just moronic), right?
I do consider myself a laid-back person. But I don't generally go around telling people that I'm laid back as justification to do obviously non-laid-back things.
Example of being laid-back about attire: I asked my BMs to wear black, knee length dresses and nude or light pink shoes. They keep sending me photos asking "Are these shoes ok?" I keep responding, "Yes, they are fine. Wear whatever you're most comfortable in!" I honestly do not care, because it has zero affect on me.
Example of not being laid-back about attire: Fighting with a BM over what shade of yellow she NEEDS to wear for your special day and telling her how much she will need to spend on your wedding.
Also, WTF with planning your own "surprise" shower? You DO understand that that is somewhat oxymoronic (also just moronic), right?
Seriously! I was stressed out just reading the part where she told a friend how much money she expected to spend on her wedding. Holy crap! I'd actually have to walk away if someone tried to dictate what I did with my money. No one, absolutely no one, gets to tell me that. OP has some serious priorities that she needs to rethink. Gosh, I feel so lucky to have the friends I have. They would never pull such a selfish stunt like this.
I do consider myself a laid-back person. But I don't generally go around telling people that I'm laid back as justification to do obviously non-laid-back things.
Example of being laid-back about attire: I asked my BMs to wear black, knee length dresses and nude or light pink shoes. They keep sending me photos asking "Are these shoes ok?" I keep responding, "Yes, they are fine. Wear whatever you're most comfortable in!" I honestly do not care, because it has zero affect on me.
Example of not being laid-back about attire: Fighting with a BM over what shade of yellow she NEEDS to wear for your special day and telling her how much she will need to spend on your wedding.
Also, WTF with planning your own "surprise" shower? You DO understand that that is somewhat oxymoronic (also just moronic), right?
Seriously! I was stressed out just reading the part where she told a friend how much money she expected to spend on her wedding. Holy crap! I'd actually have to walk away if someone tried to dictate what I did with my money. No one, absolutely no one, gets to tell me that. OP has some serious priorities that she needs to rethink. Gosh, I feel so lucky to have the friends I have. They would never pull such a selfish stunt like this.
Yeeeeaaahhh.... my friends have called me "laid back" many times, but I don't go around referring to myself that way.
I told my BMs to pick any dress in any shade of pink, and told them to wear whatever accessories and shoes they want. One of them wore gold gladiator sandals. I only know this because she was excited to have found a good sale so she showed them to me. Cool. One girl wore gold sparkly heels (I saw her put them on and was impressed that she could walk in them) and another girl wore ballet flats (again, I saw her put them on). No idea what the other two girls wore, nor did I care, nor did it impact my wedding or my marriage in any way.
But the girls were all comfortable, liked what they had on, and were able to shop within their budget, and that made me happy.
People who say they are "very laid back" are generally the biggest drama llamas.
QFT.
If you have to tell people you are that thing (you're "very laid back" or you're "very nice" or you're "very generous"), you are not. that. thing.
ETA: I'm secretly hoping this is MUD because I'm choosing to believe no one can have this little insight into how not laid back and how very controlling they are.
Yea...unfortunately I 100% believe this is not MUD because the OP could be related to the bridezilla that I dropped out for, who also claimed she was "laid-back" and understanding but also told us the theme of her shower and planned it without asking our budgets (or budgets for anything for that matter). And also required certain hair, nails, makeup, shoes, and jewelry with no intention of paying for any of it. I'm not surprised at all that she has had half of her party drop out.
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BALLER ALERT!
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YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!!!!!!!!Seriously! I was stressed out just reading the part where she told a friend how much money she expected to spend on her wedding. Holy crap! I'd actually have to walk away if someone tried to dictate what I did with my money. No one, absolutely no one, gets to tell me that. OP has some serious priorities that she needs to rethink. Gosh, I feel so lucky to have the friends I have. They would never pull such a selfish stunt like this.