Wedding Etiquette Forum

Tipping Vendors

In short: Who do we tip? How much? 

There's all sorts of mixed information about this on the internet and the etiquette board here always has it right, so I'm hoping y'all can help me so I make sure we are treating our vendors well!


- Church: Do we tip the officiant? Make a donation to the church? Both? How much do we tip or donate? We aren't members of the church but I know you are always supposed to at least donate!

- Our reception venue is fairly inclusive: catering, open bar, cake, linens, chairs, etc. In the contract, it says tip is already included in the price per head, so we weren't planning on tipping the venue.

- Photographer: She owns her own company. She shoots by herself but brings along an assistant to hold things, position us, etc. Do we tip her even if she owns her own company? Do we tip her assistant?

- Florist: Do you tip your florist?

- Band: We have a 12 piece band. One of the members is the company owner but the other 11 are not. I was thinking we should tip each member like $25-$30. Is that too little? The internet was ambiguous!

- Hair and Makeup: Tip each vendor 25-30%. Is that good?

- Transportation has a required 20% tip, so I figure that's what we need to tip.

- Valet: We pay the valet in the same check that we pay the venue (in which tip is included), but I presume we should also tip the valet on top of that, right? How much? 20% of the overall check?


Am I forgetting anything? Sorry for all of the questions, and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!
image

Re: Tipping Vendors

  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2015
    In short: Who do we tip? How much? 

    There's all sorts of mixed information about this on the internet and the etiquette board here always has it right, so I'm hoping y'all can help me so I make sure we are treating our vendors well!


    - Church: Do we tip the officiant? Make a donation to the church? Both? How much do we tip or donate? We aren't members of the church but I know you are always supposed to at least donate!
    I can't help here; we didn't have a church wedding. Our officiant "owned" her own business so we didn't tip beyond her normal rate but we gave her a small gift. 

    - Our reception venue is fairly inclusive: catering, open bar, cake, linens, chairs, etc. In the contract, it says tip is already included in the price per head, so we weren't planning on tipping the venue.
    What is the amount of the tip? Make sure it's not super low, like 12%, with the expectation that you'll make up the difference. And if the food is amazing or the staff is hauling ass, it wouldn't hurt to give them a bit extra, since generally people in that industry depend on tips 

    - Photographer: She owns her own company. She shoots by herself but brings along an assistant to hold things, position us, etc. Do we tip her even if she owns her own company? Do we tip her assistant?
    Not required, though it's always a nice gesture, especially for the assistant. 

    - Florist: Do you tip your florist?
    We didn't, but I think H's dad slipped the delivery person $10 or something? 

    - Band: We have a 12 piece band. One of the members is the company owner but the other 11 are not. I was thinking we should tip each member like $25-$30. Is that too little? The internet was ambiguous!
    I've heard a lot of conflicting things about this as well. How many hours are they playing? The same rule applies here that applies to most tipping situations: not required, but it's a nice gesture. 

    - Hair and Makeup: Tip each vendor 25-30%. Is that good?
    I'd say that's fair. I believe the standard is 20% but again, if they do an awesome job, it's always nice to show a little more appreciation 

    - Transportation has a required 20% tip, so I figure that's what we need to tip.
    Again, sounds fair. I think we tipped our trolley driver around 30% only because she really kicked ass and was awesome. 

    - Valet: We pay the valet in the same check that we pay the venue (in which tip is included), but I presume we should also tip the valet on top of that, right? How much? 20% of the overall check?
    Is tip included with the venue check to cover ALL venue staff? Like they divide that between all of them? That's kind of an important factor. He could be getting 20% out of the overall payment, or nothing at all. 

    Am I forgetting anything? Sorry for all of the questions, and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!
    Do you have bartenders? Is there a coat check person or any other venue staff? Set-up and tear-down staff? Other delivery people? 
    ETA I am by no means an authority on any of this; I'm just trying to recall what I know from reading these boards and/or from personal experience. 
    image
    crackktheskyy
  • crackktheskyycrackktheskyy Stars Hollow member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    In short: Who do we tip? How much? 

    There's all sorts of mixed information about this on the internet and the etiquette board here always has it right, so I'm hoping y'all can help me so I make sure we are treating our vendors well!


    - Church: Do we tip the officiant? Make a donation to the church? Both? How much do we tip or donate? We aren't members of the church but I know you are always supposed to at least donate!
    I can't help here; we didn't have a church wedding. Our officiant "owned" her own business so we didn't tip beyond her normal rate but we gave her a small gift. 

    - Our reception venue is fairly inclusive: catering, open bar, cake, linens, chairs, etc. In the contract, it says tip is already included in the price per head, so we weren't planning on tipping the venue.
    What is the amount of the tip? Make sure it's not super low, like 12%, with the expectation that you'll make up the difference. And if the food is amazing or the staff is hauling ass, it wouldn't hurt to give them a bit extra, since generally people in that industry depend on tips 

    - Photographer: She owns her own company. She shoots by herself but brings along an assistant to hold things, position us, etc. Do we tip her even if she owns her own company? Do we tip her assistant?
    Not required, though it's always a nice gesture, especially for the assistant. 

    - Florist: Do you tip your florist?
    We didn't, but I think H's dad slipped the delivery person $10 or something? 

    - Band: We have a 12 piece band. One of the members is the company owner but the other 11 are not. I was thinking we should tip each member like $25-$30. Is that too little? The internet was ambiguous!
    I've heard a lot of conflicting things about this as well. How many hours are they playing? The same rule applies here that applies to most tipping situations: not required, but it's a nice gesture. 

    - Hair and Makeup: Tip each vendor 25-30%. Is that good?
    I'd say that's fair. I believe the standard is 20% but again, if they do an awesome job, it's always nice to show a little more appreciation 

    - Transportation has a required 20% tip, so I figure that's what we need to tip.
    Again, sounds fair. I think we tipped our trolley driver around 30% only because she really kicked ass and was awesome. 

    - Valet: We pay the valet in the same check that we pay the venue (in which tip is included), but I presume we should also tip the valet on top of that, right? How much? 20% of the overall check?
    Is tip included with the venue check to cover ALL venue staff? Like they divide that between all of them? That's kind of an important factor. He could be getting 20% out of the overall payment, or nothing at all. 

    Am I forgetting anything? Sorry for all of the questions, and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!
    Do you have bartenders? Is there a coat check person or any other venue staff? Set-up and tear-down staff? Other delivery people? 
    ETA I am by no means an authority on any of this; I'm just trying to recall what I know from reading these boards and/or from personal experience. 


    Thanks, Novella! I don't know what happened to the box.

    We were not told how much of a tip is included in the price per head, but the price per head is VERY high. 

    It's a venue that belongs to a larger company that owns 5 upscale downtown venues, and they are all pricey. I'm hoping they pay their staff well, but I don't know for certain. Their business is certainly booming. They have bartenders but they are all supposed to be included (food, alcohol, cake, etc.) It makes it feel very confusing.


    The band is playing for 6 hours, and we are obviously giving them a break to feed them dinner! I think I'll still end up tipping each member, because they're awesome. Does $25-$30 each sound reasonable?

    Hair and makeup I'm tipping a little high on because they are amazing! (I had my trial and tipped then, too.)

    Thanks for all of your help! Some of this stuff is sort of ambiguous.

    I used to be a server and the thought of stiffing someone on a tip or undertipping makes me upset!
    image
    [Deleted User]novella1186
  • spglspspglsp member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    You've probably been reading the same mess of tipping recommendations I've been following. Here's what I've gathered: 20%+ is fine for hair and makeup, feel free to add if they really went the extra mile. You don't need to tip the florist but a ten to the delivery person is a nice gesture. The band is owned by one member? That sounds unusual, I'm used to bands having more of a co-op mentality. I know our band is a group effort, they split the costs and set the rates so no tip for them (although, I'm sure they wouldn't take offense to $20 per person for a job well done). If the venue includes tip in your contract, I wouldn't add to it. Of course if you're concerned that they're not receiving a fair tip, you can always ask the venue directly what percentage they receive and who's included in that count (bartenders, coat check, etc.). If that information is unsatisfactory, you can always supplement accordingly. If the photographer is independent, you only tip the assistant. If she works for a studio, you tip them both. The officiant doesn't require a tip but you could make an additional donation to the church if you like.
    Just Married!

    image
    crackktheskyy
  • kvrunskvruns member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    are you adding these tips in your final payment or after the fact?  The only reason I ask is we only had to pay the DJ his final payment at the venue and I stressed enough making sure someone got him the check, I can't imagine trying to coordinate the tipping of 5-10 extra people/groups that day unless someone else is making those payments for you or you are being billed after the fact and can include t then.
    crackktheskyy
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2015
    kvruns said:
    are you adding these tips in your final payment or after the fact?  The only reason I ask is we only had to pay the DJ his final payment at the venue and I stressed enough making sure someone got him the check, I can't imagine trying to coordinate the tipping of 5-10 extra people/groups that day unless someone else is making those payments for you or you are being billed after the fact and can include t then.
    We tipped everyone the day of, and it was fine. I had an envelope with cash and a label on it for each vendor. I saw the site manager first so I gave her tip to her right away just so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Same with the trolley driver. I handed H the payment and tip for the DJ and band cuz I knew he'd see them first. Everyone got their payment/tip and it was really no big deal. Just gotta be organized. 

    ETA in our case it made more sense to tip them ahead of time. We had already met with the site manager multiple times and she had already been incredibly helpful, so I knew she was gonna kick ass on the wedding day, which she did. The trolley driver had already made multiple unscheduled trips all over the city for the WP, so she was already awesome too. The band had driven all the way to Michigan from West Virginia just to play our wedding and I knew they were awesome, so I had no qualms about tipping them before I heard them play. And the DJ had done H's sister wedding so again, I knew he'd be awesome. 

    I know some people prefer to tip afterward, just to make sure the vendor does a good job, but in my case I got lucky I guess cuz we had awesome vendors. The only person I didn't like was the florist and we hadn't planned to tip her anyway. 
    image
    crackktheskyy

  • In short: Who do we tip? How much? 

    There's all sorts of mixed information about this on the internet and the etiquette board here always has it right, so I'm hoping y'all can help me so I make sure we are treating our vendors well!


    - Church: Do we tip the officiant? Make a donation to the church? Both? How much do we tip or donate? We aren't members of the church but I know you are always supposed to at least donate!
    I can't help here; we didn't have a church wedding. Our officiant "owned" her own business so we didn't tip beyond her normal rate but we gave her a small gift. 

    - Our reception venue is fairly inclusive: catering, open bar, cake, linens, chairs, etc. In the contract, it says tip is already included in the price per head, so we weren't planning on tipping the venue.
    What is the amount of the tip? Make sure it's not super low, like 12%, with the expectation that you'll make up the difference. And if the food is amazing or the staff is hauling ass, it wouldn't hurt to give them a bit extra, since generally people in that industry depend on tips 

    - Photographer: She owns her own company. She shoots by herself but brings along an assistant to hold things, position us, etc. Do we tip her even if she owns her own company? Do we tip her assistant?
    Not required, though it's always a nice gesture, especially for the assistant. 

    - Florist: Do you tip your florist?
    We didn't, but I think H's dad slipped the delivery person $10 or something? 

    - Band: We have a 12 piece band. One of the members is the company owner but the other 11 are not. I was thinking we should tip each member like $25-$30. Is that too little? The internet was ambiguous!
    I've heard a lot of conflicting things about this as well. How many hours are they playing? The same rule applies here that applies to most tipping situations: not required, but it's a nice gesture. 

    - Hair and Makeup: Tip each vendor 25-30%. Is that good?
    I'd say that's fair. I believe the standard is 20% but again, if they do an awesome job, it's always nice to show a little more appreciation 

    - Transportation has a required 20% tip, so I figure that's what we need to tip.
    Again, sounds fair. I think we tipped our trolley driver around 30% only because she really kicked ass and was awesome. 

    - Valet: We pay the valet in the same check that we pay the venue (in which tip is included), but I presume we should also tip the valet on top of that, right? How much? 20% of the overall check?
    Is tip included with the venue check to cover ALL venue staff? Like they divide that between all of them? That's kind of an important factor. He could be getting 20% out of the overall payment, or nothing at all. 

    Am I forgetting anything? Sorry for all of the questions, and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!
    Do you have bartenders? Is there a coat check person or any other venue staff? Set-up and tear-down staff? Other delivery people? 
    ETA I am by no means an authority on any of this; I'm just trying to recall what I know from reading these boards and/or from personal experience. 


    Thanks, Novella! I don't know what happened to the box.

    We were not told how much of a tip is included in the price per head, but the price per head is VERY high. 

    It's a venue that belongs to a larger company that owns 5 upscale downtown venues, and they are all pricey. I'm hoping they pay their staff well, but I don't know for certain. Their business is certainly booming. They have bartenders but they are all supposed to be included (food, alcohol, cake, etc.) It makes it feel very confusing.


    The band is playing for 6 hours, and we are obviously giving them a break to feed them dinner! I think I'll still end up tipping each member, because they're awesome. Does $25-$30 each sound reasonable?

    Hair and makeup I'm tipping a little high on because they are amazing! (I had my trial and tipped then, too.)

    Thanks for all of your help! Some of this stuff is sort of ambiguous.

    I used to be a server and the thought of stiffing someone on a tip or undertipping makes me upset!
    I think that amount for the band members will be fine. (I know, the tipping guides that are all over the internet all contradict each other and are super confusing). 

    You should ask your venue manager what percent tip is included in the price, and who that covers. If it's 20% and covers all staff, then you're golden. 

    And like I said, if someone is particularly amazing, you could always tip them a little more. H and I do that at bars a lot, like if I order an extra complicated drink and the bartender is being amazing, is super friendly, totally on top of things, etc we like to tip more than 20%. I used to work as a waitress and bartender, so I know it's a tough job, and I try to be a good tipper to balance out the inevitable jerks servers deal with who either way-under tip, or don't tip at all.  
    image
    crackktheskyy
  • crackktheskyycrackktheskyy Stars Hollow member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    spglsp said:
    You've probably been reading the same mess of tipping recommendations I've been following. Here's what I've gathered: 20%+ is fine for hair and makeup, feel free to add if they really went the extra mile. You don't need to tip the florist but a ten to the delivery person is a nice gesture. The band is owned by one member? That sounds unusual, I'm used to bands having more of a co-op mentality. I know our band is a group effort, they split the costs and set the rates so no tip for them (although, I'm sure they wouldn't take offense to $20 per person for a job well done). If the venue includes tip in your contract, I wouldn't add to it. Of course if you're concerned that they're not receiving a fair tip, you can always ask the venue directly what percentage they receive and who's included in that count (bartenders, coat check, etc.). If that information is unsatisfactory, you can always supplement accordingly. If the photographer is independent, you only tip the assistant. If she works for a studio, you tip them both. The officiant doesn't require a tip but you could make an additional donation to the church if you like.

    Yeah, I will definitely have cash for delivery people!

    The band is part of a larger organization that owns 5 or 6 event bands and the owner of the organization also plays for the one particular band I hired.

    How much is an appropriate donation to a church?

    kvruns said:
    are you adding these tips in your final payment or after the fact?  The only reason I ask is we only had to pay the DJ his final payment at the venue and I stressed enough making sure someone got him the check, I can't imagine trying to coordinate the tipping of 5-10 extra people/groups that day unless someone else is making those payments for you or you are being billed after the fact and can include t then.

    We are paying the final payments before the wedding (most of them are going out this week and the wedding is in just over 2 weeks.) We plan on tipping the day of the event.



    In short: Who do we tip? How much? 

    There's all sorts of mixed information about this on the internet and the etiquette board here always has it right, so I'm hoping y'all can help me so I make sure we are treating our vendors well!


    - Church: Do we tip the officiant? Make a donation to the church? Both? How much do we tip or donate? We aren't members of the church but I know you are always supposed to at least donate!
    I can't help here; we didn't have a church wedding. Our officiant "owned" her own business so we didn't tip beyond her normal rate but we gave her a small gift. 

    - Our reception venue is fairly inclusive: catering, open bar, cake, linens, chairs, etc. In the contract, it says tip is already included in the price per head, so we weren't planning on tipping the venue.
    What is the amount of the tip? Make sure it's not super low, like 12%, with the expectation that you'll make up the difference. And if the food is amazing or the staff is hauling ass, it wouldn't hurt to give them a bit extra, since generally people in that industry depend on tips 

    - Photographer: She owns her own company. She shoots by herself but brings along an assistant to hold things, position us, etc. Do we tip her even if she owns her own company? Do we tip her assistant?
    Not required, though it's always a nice gesture, especially for the assistant. 

    - Florist: Do you tip your florist?
    We didn't, but I think H's dad slipped the delivery person $10 or something? 

    - Band: We have a 12 piece band. One of the members is the company owner but the other 11 are not. I was thinking we should tip each member like $25-$30. Is that too little? The internet was ambiguous!
    I've heard a lot of conflicting things about this as well. How many hours are they playing? The same rule applies here that applies to most tipping situations: not required, but it's a nice gesture. 

    - Hair and Makeup: Tip each vendor 25-30%. Is that good?
    I'd say that's fair. I believe the standard is 20% but again, if they do an awesome job, it's always nice to show a little more appreciation 

    - Transportation has a required 20% tip, so I figure that's what we need to tip.
    Again, sounds fair. I think we tipped our trolley driver around 30% only because she really kicked ass and was awesome. 

    - Valet: We pay the valet in the same check that we pay the venue (in which tip is included), but I presume we should also tip the valet on top of that, right? How much? 20% of the overall check?
    Is tip included with the venue check to cover ALL venue staff? Like they divide that between all of them? That's kind of an important factor. He could be getting 20% out of the overall payment, or nothing at all. 

    Am I forgetting anything? Sorry for all of the questions, and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!
    Do you have bartenders? Is there a coat check person or any other venue staff? Set-up and tear-down staff? Other delivery people? 
    ETA I am by no means an authority on any of this; I'm just trying to recall what I know from reading these boards and/or from personal experience. 


    Thanks, Novella! I don't know what happened to the box.

    We were not told how much of a tip is included in the price per head, but the price per head is VERY high. 

    It's a venue that belongs to a larger company that owns 5 upscale downtown venues, and they are all pricey. I'm hoping they pay their staff well, but I don't know for certain. Their business is certainly booming. They have bartenders but they are all supposed to be included (food, alcohol, cake, etc.) It makes it feel very confusing.


    The band is playing for 6 hours, and we are obviously giving them a break to feed them dinner! I think I'll still end up tipping each member, because they're awesome. Does $25-$30 each sound reasonable?

    Hair and makeup I'm tipping a little high on because they are amazing! (I had my trial and tipped then, too.)

    Thanks for all of your help! Some of this stuff is sort of ambiguous.

    I used to be a server and the thought of stiffing someone on a tip or undertipping makes me upset!
    I think that amount for the band members will be fine. (I know, the tipping guides that are all over the internet all contradict each other and are super confusing). 

    You should ask your venue manager what percent tip is included in the price, and who that covers. If it's 20% and covers all staff, then you're golden. 

    And like I said, if someone is particularly amazing, you could always tip them a little more. H and I do that at bars a lot, like if I order an extra complicated drink and the bartender is being amazing, is super friendly, totally on top of things, etc we like to tip more than 20%. I used to work as a waitress and bartender, so I know it's a tough job, and I try to be a good tipper to balance out the inevitable jerks servers deal with who either way-under tip, or don't tip at all.  
    I have a phone conference with the venue next week, so I will ask them at that time! Thanks for all of your help :) My time as a waitress has also influenced my own tendency to tip well.
    image
  • edited June 2015
    In short: Who do we tip? How much? 

    There's all sorts of mixed information about this on the internet and the etiquette board here always has it right, so I'm hoping y'all can help me so I make sure we are treating our vendors well!


    - Church: Do we tip the officiant? Make a donation to the church? Both? How much do we tip or donate? We aren't members of the church but I know you are always supposed to at least donate! We weren't members of the church we got married in, they charged us a rate which was to cover the janitor and use of the building. I did give the pastor extra for doing the service & being so great to work with. We brought in our own organist who did an amazing job, so I tipped him also in addition to his regular rate.

    - Our reception venue is fairly inclusive: catering, open bar, cake, linens, chairs, etc. In the contract, it says tip is already included in the price per head, so we weren't planning on tipping the venue. Our venue included that as part of our per person cost

    - Photographer: She owns her own company. She shoots by herself but brings along an assistant to hold things, position us, etc. Do we tip her even if she owns her own company? Do we tip her assistant? She was an employee of my SIL who has her own studio, we tipped her.

    - Florist: Do you tip your florist? No, I didn't see them. They dropped off the bouquets before I got there (I was stuck in traffic) and then once they got everyone pinned and other flowers done, they left.

    - Band: We have a 12 piece band. One of the members is the company owner but the other 11 are not. I was thinking we should tip each member like $25-$30. Is that too little? The internet was ambiguous! We had a DJ, we tipped him

    - Hair and Makeup: Tip each vendor 25-30%. Is that good? Yes

    - Transportation has a required 20% tip, so I figure that's what we need to tip. That's standard, I think we went a little more because our driver was outstanding, It was a cold day and we did a few outside photos, the girls would wear their coats and he collected them right before the photos and then handed them back after the photo. He also helped everyone including the men on and off the bus and even collected the bouquets and put them back in the box with the vases with water so we didn't have to hold them and could drink.

    - Valet: We pay the valet in the same check that we pay the venue (in which tip is included), but I presume we should also tip the valet on top of that, right? How much? 20% of the overall check? We didn't have one so can't help


    Am I forgetting anything? Sorry for all of the questions, and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this!

  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Our venue included free valet parking and the tips come from the guests who choose to utilize it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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