Child Free Wedding?

MairePoppy · June 2015

I don't want old people at my wedding. They smell like moth balls and complain that the music is too loud. Can I write on the invitations - " No elderly guests, please, everyone wants to have a good time?"

dreamsinpink · June 2015

I don't think the kids room, or area is really a regional thing just starting to occur more. I'm from the Midwest and have seen this at more weddings than not. My sister did this as well and mentioned it somewhere, just can't remember, that the service is available should parents choose.

Heffalump · June 2015

VulgarGirl said:

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

Really? Everyone in the south does this? Hey @emmaaa, did you have this at your wedding? @southernbelle0915 how about you? This a regional thing now? (I am sure there are more southerns on here, I just know them for sure)

I got married in North Carolina, and strangely, all of the guests were allowed in the same room together. Probably because I'm a carpetbagger and didn't know any better.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

mikenberger said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

VulgarGirl said:

I mean we had a giant coke fueled orgy in the middle of our dance floor. But that was cause it was a gay wedding. That's what happens at all gay weddings.

PrettyGirlLost said:

We were snorting coke off of hookers' asses. We had Pixy-Stix for the kids to use.

Damn, I am missing out on some kick ass weddings!

It's an Appalachian regional thing.

We did meth at our wedding. We do it up real nice here in the country. Even had a box for your sharps!

I'm so damn sheltered I don't even know what sharps are!

but orgies and coke, cool.

simcal18 · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

VulgarGirl said:

I mean we had a giant coke fueled orgy in the middle of our dance floor. But that was cause it was a gay wedding. That's what happens at all gay weddings.

PrettyGirlLost said:

We were snorting coke off of hookers' asses. We had Pixy-Stix for the kids to use.

Damn, I am missing out on some kick ass weddings!

It's an Appalachian regional thing.

We did meth at our wedding. We do it up real nice here in the country. Even had a box for your sharps!

**************************GRRRR BOXES********************************

Did you have a poem next to your sharps box? Please tell me you had a poem:

We're so glad you're here to share our day

If you choose to use meth to enhance your stay

Then here is a box to hold your old needles

Please don't go too wild and kill any eagles!

TrixieJess · June 2015

thisismynickname said:

mikenberger said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

VulgarGirl said:

I mean we had a giant coke fueled orgy in the middle of our dance floor. But that was cause it was a gay wedding. That's what happens at all gay weddings.

PrettyGirlLost said:

We were snorting coke off of hookers' asses. We had Pixy-Stix for the kids to use.

Damn, I am missing out on some kick ass weddings!

It's an Appalachian regional thing.

We did meth at our wedding. We do it up real nice here in the country. Even had a box for your sharps!

I'm so damn sheltered I don't even know what sharps are!

but orgies and coke, cool.

Sharps is referring to needles. The yellow boxes that you see at Doctor's offices are "Sharps Containers". Where I live they have them in all public washrooms.

artbyallie · June 2015

Heffalump said:

VulgarGirl said:

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

Really? Everyone in the south does this? Hey @emmaaa, did you have this at your wedding? @southernbelle0915 how about you? This a regional thing now? (I am sure there are more southerns on here, I just know them for sure)

I got married in North Carolina, and strangely, all of the guests were allowed in the same room together. Probably because I'm a carpetbagger and didn't know any better.

Another NC native signing in. Most of the weddings I've been to the kids are on the dance floor with the rest of us. A set of triplets in the family that were 3 or 4 at my wedding still remember attending because according to them I was a princess. Our fourth anniversary is next week.

I also recall dancing to "Barbie Girl" all night at the wedding of one of my mom's cousins with the groom's 8ish-year-old niece. I must have been a young teen or so at the time.

emmaaa · June 2015

artbyallie said:

Heffalump said:

VulgarGirl said:

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

Really? Everyone in the south does this? Hey @emmaaa, did you have this at your wedding? @southernbelle0915 how about you? This a regional thing now? (I am sure there are more southerns on here, I just know them for sure)

I got married in North Carolina, and strangely, all of the guests were allowed in the same room together. Probably because I'm a carpetbagger and didn't know any better.

Another NC native signing in. Most of the weddings I've been to the kids are on the dance floor with the rest of us. A set of triplets in the family that were 3 or 4 at my wedding still remember attending because according to them I was a princess. Our fourth anniversary is next week.

I also recall dancing to "Barbie Girl" all night at the wedding of one of my mom's cousins with the groom's 8ish-year-old niece. I must have been a young teen or so at the time.

Almost every wedding I have been to (all in the South) include children and they are allowed to stay in the same room. Like @artbyallie said, I've seen the kids dancing all night and be the life of the party at some weddings. Please don't classify your rude "practice" as a Southern thing...it's rude and I know my Southern aunts would turn their nose up at something like this.

MyNameIsNot · June 2015

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

This is 100% false.

I am so sick of people coming up with bullshit rude ass ideas and then claiming that it's a southern thing. We southern people do a lot of crazy shit, but we do not banish children to a kids' room at weddings.

This may be something your family does, but please do not purport to attribute it to the rest of the south. We southerners have enough problems with the rest of the country thinking we are morons or wack-jobs without people making shit up.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

artbyallie said:

Heffalump said:

VulgarGirl said:

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

Really? Everyone in the south does this? Hey @emmaaa, did you have this at your wedding? @southernbelle0915 how about you? This a regional thing now? (I am sure there are more southerns on here, I just know them for sure)

I got married in North Carolina, and strangely, all of the guests were allowed in the same room together. Probably because I'm a carpetbagger and didn't know any better.

Another NC native signing in. Most of the weddings I've been to the kids are on the dance floor with the rest of us. A set of triplets in the family that were 3 or 4 at my wedding still remember attending because according to them I was a princess. Our fourth anniversary is next week.

I also recall dancing to "Barbie Girl" all night at the wedding of one of my mom's cousins with the groom's 8ish-year-old niece. I must have been a young teen or so at the time.

Almost every wedding I have been to (all in the South) include children and they are allowed to stay in the same room. Like @artbyallie said, I've seen the kids dancing all night and be the life of the party at some weddings. Please don't classify your rude "practice" as a Southern thing...it's rude and I know my Southern aunts would turn their nose up at something like this.

**********etf - don't know why I thought there would be boxes*****************

Truth. A mandatory kids' room is rude no matter where the wedding takes place. It makes no sense to try and straddle the "no kids" and "omg so kid friendly" worlds. Just make a choice and stick to it.

We had no kids at the wedding because it was important to us to provide an open bar with full illegal drug and escort services. Intimate expression of love was encouraged (it's a wedding - duh!) but our venue didn't have private rooms, so people made do with table tops - we just asked that folks wait until dinner was cleared. Our bathroom baskets had condoms and our favors came with a dollar bill and a small mirror. Instead of a money dance, DH and I did other things for money, which (most) guests really appreciated. This type if wedding is totally common in the South so therefore there is nothing wrong with it. /*sarcasm font doesn't work on mobile.

lyndausvi · June 2015

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

Any other older regs feel like we have Kristin###'s twin posting?

JBee85 · June 2015

I also lived in the South. Kids were even brought into bar areas of restaurants. If that's allowed, then they def. don't have "kids only" areas at weddings.

charlotte989875 · June 2015

So, PPs have it covered, but just wanted to add I did exactly what everyone has recommended (only listing people invited, invite in small circles i.e. mine and H's first cousins that are children, no extended family's children or friends), and it went just fine. Everyone knew who was invited and we had no one try to bring children that weren't invited. Our friends got sitters (or something, we didn't ask, they didn't tell us), and our OOT guest brought kids and had a giant slumber party with their cousins that lived in town. Worked out fine.

H and I wanted a child-free wedding (and yes, there were multiple people taking off articles of clothing during the reception, although even that isn't something I think many parents would object to). We'd didn't try to justify or explain to people our decision, and none of them asked (besides my controlling mother, but that's a very different discussion).

Moral of the story? Listen to the regulars on here and treat your guests with respect and everything will work out fine.

justsuzie · June 2015

...or do what makes you happy.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

Knottie1427322490 said:

...or do what makes you happy.

Sure, go for it!

But be aware that doing what makes you happy isn't free of consequences or absolve you of those consequences.

lc07 · June 2015

lyndausvi said:

VerizonGirl said:

Here in the south, it's common to arrive at reception venue, kids are greeted by party hostess who takes them to nearby kid party room while parents go to reception. Party room has two or three levels of age-appropriate activities, games, dinner, etc. at the end of the night, the kids don't want to go home. You fi's fam needs to understand that kids party room is not a punishment ; it's a separate age- appropriate party.

Any other older regs feel like we have Kristin###'s twin posting?

Yes! I have always thought they were the same person.

BrinkyDink16 · June 2015

We're having a PG-13 wedding. We thought that cut off went well with our horror movie theme because with everyone coming in costume plus our decorations there could be some terrifying sights for little kids. Plus, what kid wants to go to a wedding over going trick or treating?

The only children invited are four of our teenage cousins. We just made sure to very clearly label on the invitations who was invited from a particular family. For example, one family who has two teenage children and two under thirteen says "Father, Mother, Son & Son LastName." We also put on our reply cards a Number Attending ___ of 4 (or whatever the number may be) so that no one can sneak in extra guests. I remember my cousin getting stressed because she was receiving RSVPs for more people than she had intended to invite so we wanted to avoid that.

maryemoo · June 2015

Just my two cents here.

We wanted a very small intimate ceremony. Just our parents and grandparents (both of our grandparent sets were unable to attend), my stepsons, and my niece as a flower girl, with her stepmom and dad as chaperones (and her 1 year old sister since they couldn't find a sitter.) I did not want his sister, her three kids, and her boyfriend there because we were trying to work with a budget (we had lunch reservations afterwards) and beside that, his sister hates me and has openly stated she "doesn't approve of our union" and that I am "no longer invited to any functions she is holding."

His mother went behind our back and spun a huge negative story about why we didn't want her there, pinned it all on me, and then snuck details to her so she could show up and crash, even after my husband flat out telling her to come alone or not at all. Well, they fought about it the entire day before and day of leading up to the wedding, and as I was having my hair and makeup done, I got the text that she was there with her brood. She spent the entire time glaring at me and bother her and my MIL trash talked my side of the family the whole day. Her kids were super unruly at the lunch, she did nothing to control them, and that made my two boys want to act up a ton as well.

Long story short, we said no kids, the people with kids said screw it, brought the kids anyways, are going to hold a grudge for ages over it. Were there disruptions? Yes. Was I upset that she essentially said "screw you and it being YOUR day I will do what I want with no regards to your guys' wishes? Yes. But. Are we married? Yes. Was it beautiful? Yes. Will it affect our marriage in any way, aside from the fact that I have to put up wit his family's BS forever (which I would have to do regardless of our child-free dictation)? NO. Just bear that in mind for yourself.

SP29 · June 2015

BrinkyDink16 said:

We're having a PG-13 wedding. We thought that cut off went well with our horror movie theme because with everyone coming in costume plus our decorations there could be some terrifying sights for little kids. Plus, what kid wants to go to a wedding over going trick or treating?

The only children invited are four of our teenage cousins. We just made sure to very clearly label on the invitations who was invited from a particular family. For example, one family who has two teenage children and two under thirteen says "Father, Mother, Son & Son LastName." We also put on our reply cards a Number Attending ___ of 4 (or whatever the number may be) so that no one can sneak in extra guests. I remember my cousin getting stressed because she was receiving RSVPs for more people than she had intended to invite so we wanted to avoid that.

Oh geez. Ok, creating rules is usually what gets people into hot water. 13 is such a random age. Because of this you are breaking up a family. Sure, kids probably would prefer to trick or treat than attend your wedding, but if their parents are at your wedding, who is going to take them? But since you seem to be having a Halloween theme, maybe they would have lots of fun at your wedding. Maybe those teenage kids would rather go to a party with their friends instead of go to your wedding. See why generic cut offs are silly? And a costume is going to scare a 12 year old? Probably not. Let parents decide what is appropriate and not appropriate for their children.

You next say you invited two teenage cousins but not their younger siblings. You have broken etiquette here because you have broken a family in half. Now those parents need to find childcare for half their kids. Be prepared for the hot water that may follow.

It's perfectly fine to not have children at a wedding. But don't choose a random cut off, because it usually causes more problems than it helps. Invite who you want to be there and don't invite those you don't.... invitations are not subpoenas, let the guests decide if they will attend or not and let parents decide what is or is not appropriate for their children.

thespeshulestsnowflake · June 2015

BrinkyDink16 said:

We're having a PG-13 wedding. We thought that cut off went well with our horror movie theme because with everyone coming in costume plus our decorations there could be some terrifying sights for little kids. Plus, what kid wants to go to a wedding over going trick or treating?

The only children invited are four of our teenage cousins. We just made sure to very clearly label on the invitations who was invited from a particular family. For example, one family who has two teenage children and two under thirteen says "Father, Mother, Son & Son LastName." We also put on our reply cards a Number Attending ___ of 4 (or whatever the number may be) so that no one can sneak in extra guests. I remember my cousin getting stressed because she was receiving RSVPs for more people than she had intended to invite so we wanted to avoid that.

You should probably let people know that the word "fuck" can only be said only during you wedding and reception or it would automatically get a rated R rating from the MPAA. You might want to coordinate this saying of the word "fuck" since mulitple people might want to be the one to say it.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

BrinkyDink16 said:
We're having a PG-13 wedding. We thought that cut off went well with our horror movie theme because with everyone coming in costume plus our decorations there could be some terrifying sights for little kids. Plus, what kid wants to go to a wedding over going trick or treating?

The only children invited are four of our teenage cousins. We just made sure to very clearly label on the invitations who was invited from a particular family. For example, one family who has two teenage children and two under thirteen says "Father, Mother, Son & Son LastName." We also put on our reply cards a Number Attending ___ of 4 (or whatever the number may be) so that no one can sneak in extra guests. I remember my cousin getting stressed because she was receiving RSVPs for more people than she had intended to invite so we wanted to avoid that.

So you split up a family? Lovely.You just proved the point I have been trying to male in multiple threads on this board.

Your arbitrary age cut off split a family. That's rude. I don't know many ppl that would be ok with that, just because of an obscure etiquette technicality. My family and friends would be justifiably offended if you choose to invite half their kids and not the other. And I'm child free by choice, but as another guest I'd be like, "WTF?!"

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

Shocking.... Brinky is on the etiquette board giving crappy etiquette advice.

lyndausvi · June 2015

I do not know what a PG-13 wedding means.

iloveu4ever · June 2015

Just address on the envelope who is invited. We are only inviting our children. Depends on how many children will be. I don't want too many children.

SP29 · June 2015

lyndausvi said:

I do not know what a PG-13 wedding means.

BOXES

Kissing and over the clothes fondling OK? Hints of sexuality but no nudity observable? (So guests can flirt and then run to a bathroom or closet together) Hints towards violence but no obvious blood and gore?

Obviously sarcasm.

oliviabee22 · June 2015

I've realized that people on these boards are incredibly RUDE themselves and have no discretion as to what is respectful to post to someone- believe it or not - you CAN disagree without being disrespectful. One of my posts got cyberbullied to the point of tears... on my end.. and now I can't even believe that there is no moderation on a popular magazine's community boards.. Let's see them try and tell you that in person. Let's be honest.. they were probably the bullies in the playground as kids anyways and this is their way of reliving their glory.
If they want to post some gifs/insults back... let them - gladly - it is amusing to see people who feel powerful on forums- nonetheless bridal forums - have fun bridezillas!!

Anyways... you asked a respectful question to a community of brides and I will provide whatever support I can. We had some difficulty with this as well. We didn't want babies... and this is coming from someone who loves babies!! - but the wedding is about the bride and groom celebrating coming together in life and some parents don't know where to draw the line when their child is running around/crying at the ceremony/reception. We drew a line where age was concerned.

The youngest person at my wedding is my groomsman and he will be 8 years old... he is my nephew and the flower girl is my cousin's little girl. My FMIL helped me to realize where to draw the line - these kids in my life are my immediate family- my sister's (MOH) little boy (my nephew) and my only little girl cousin (my close cousin's little girl)... they are very close and special to me and the reason why they are in my wedding.. distant third cousin kids... we don't even know them...
To be kind to those who ask however (those who ask are my fiance's second cousins) we just tell them simply that the hall is not big enough to invite everyone (OR we tell them that the venue doesn't allow children under a certain age) and that has been sufficient reason for our guests. Most of them understand that its tough to invite everyone to a big wedding..

I learned that if you tell people that its the venue's rule... it is easier for them to understand and helps avoid any awkwardness... I went to a seminar here that was held by Jane Dayus-Hinch (from wedding SOS- the tv show) and she advised us in this way. It has been extremely helpful so far and has helped detract from any conflicts with our guests.

oliviabee22 · June 2015

Additionally - to add to my post - we are just telling guests that the venue doesn't allow people under 8 years old... and it has helped to take some of the blame off of us..

Viczaesar · June 2015

olmeadows said:

Additionally - to add to my post - we are just telling guests that the venue doesn't allow people under 8 years old... and it has helped to take some of the blame off of us..

Does your venue actually not allow people under 8 years old? Lying to your guests is extremely rude.

NowIAmSyp · June 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

Shocking.... Brinky is on the etiquette board giving crappy etiquette advice.

jacques27 · June 2015

olmeadows said:

Additionally - to add to my post - we are just telling guests that the venue doesn't allow people under 8 years old... and it has helped to take some of the blame off of us..

Because being a liar is totally better than just being an adult and owning the decisions you make!

Do people seriously buy this lie? Has no one questioned what magical thing happens between the ages of 7 and 8 that makes little kids totes more responsible and why a venue would pick this completely arbitrary age as the perfect age which also happens to be the exact age of your nephew?

Child Free Wedding?

Re: Child Free Wedding?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards