removed at wedding. HELP!

lyndausvi · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

Look, I had a fucking almost-hurricane hit on my wedding day. My beach wedding BTW. 60+ mph wind driven rains made the tent collapsed the morning of the wedding. 2 guys from the tent company had to drive an hour to us to make sure it would not collapse again.

Rain was coming inside ways that it was coming into the house I was getting ready in. I spent my morning stuffing towels near the doors and windows to keep the room from flooding. I had to walk in wind-driven rains to get to the venue. Umbrellas are useless in those conditions. I had to hike up my dress to protect the bottom.

Trust me knowing in advance that ONE BM isn't going to be there in the morning for a 6pm wedding is NO BIG DEAL. In all the things that could go "wrong" this by far is the least thing to worry about.

Wish her luck, start the pictures at 4pm and more onto something more important.

NowIamMrsKlein · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

***BOXEESSSSS***

The ceremony is at 6?!?!?!?! and you expect this girl to give up her entire day?!?! Honestly all I can say to this is are you serious?!?!

Most of us on here are planning weddings/have planned a wedding/have been in weddings. So we are the people whose opinion you want. Sorry that we don't agree with you, hence why it's an opinion.

And I should hope that the majority of people will tell you that an important career move trounces 'getting ready time' with the bride. Your Bridesmaid has said she will make it to the ceremony! its a 6pm! How is this even an issue?!? The woman is being an amazing friend by taking the LSAT and then being a bridesmaid in your wedding! She is making it work! And you just scoff at her? You want to 'replace her' simply because she cant get ready with you guys?

I just cant fathom treating my friends like that.

ETA: I get it. I understand the disappointment of not having your friends there for the entire day. 2 of my 3 bridesmaids are not getting ready with me. Because guess what? They have other important commitments. Like tiny children. And guess what? Tiny children trump getting ready with me. As the Bride I have done everything in my power to make the day as easy as possible on them. Because guess what? They are my most honoured guests (as your bridesmaids/groomsmen should be) and having them stand up with me has such meaning to me, so for me to be able to accomodate them is the least I can do. They mean so much to me!

VulgarGirl · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

I think you're a misogynist and that if this was one of the groomsmen you wouldn't be all up in arms and wanting to kick him out. I think you see her as a silly little woman who should've spent more time working on her MRS and now needs to get her pert little ass decorating and picking out lipsticks like a woman should.

And you see her being silly not because of what she has or has not done but because she is a woman and they are less then you. A big strong powerful man with real career goals and ambitions. And perhaps you even think women best stay out of the legal field and get to raising babies.

In other words, I think you need to take a real long walk off a real short pier.

arrrghmatey · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

So this BM doesn't need to be there until 6:00pm! She does not need to show up and help you and your bride decorate for your wedding--it's YOUR wedding, so be responsible adults and decorate yourselves. You and your bride really need to realize that the ONLY things required of your wedding party are to show up for the ceremony in the chosen attire, and sober. Asking them to do anything else for you is extremely selfish.

It's horrible how judgmental you are towards this BM simply because she is trying to get her career in order. I hope your bride has a better perception of her than you do (unless you ARE the bride trying to hide behind the facade of being the groom). If I were in this bridal party, I'd run for the hills.

You and your bride need to grow the eff up and take care of your own damn responsibilities of your own wedding.

And I hope that "handle this accordingly" means you are releasing her from your bridal party. Because that would be a blessing for her.

arrrghmatey · June 2015

VulgarGirl said:

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

I think you're a misogynist and that if this was one of the groomsmen you wouldn't be all up in arms and wanting to kick him out. I think you see her as a silly little woman who should've spent more time working on her MRS and now needs to get her pert little ass decorating and picking out lipsticks like a woman should.

And you see her being silly not because of what she has or has not done but because she is a woman and they are less then you. A big strong powerful man with real career goals and ambitions. And perhaps you even think women best stay out of the legal field and get to raising babies.

In other words, I think you need to take a real long walk off a real short pier.

Can I do the honors?

AuroraRose41 · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

I gave you my opinion, as someone who is actively planning a wedding, studying for the LSAT, and was just asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. Is that not involved enough for you?

Oh wait, you probably think that I am a naive millenial because I don't want to stay in my current career that I thought I wanted when I was 18. Are you also going to tell me I should just quit my job and be a stay at home mom pumping out kids after the wedding instead of attending law school because I'm too old for school?

She deserves better friends than you and your FI.

ETA: Actually, now that I think about it, maybe you should practice some LSAT test questions. Half of it is Logical Reasoning, which you seem to be sorely lacking OP.

Lizzieyounce · June 2015

Shit.

I took an entrance exam for nursing school the DAY BEFORE my wedding (3 hour exam that started at 9am) and I managed to put the finishing touches on the decor for the rehearsal dinner/open house which was held at our home, pick up my gown from the lady who steamed it, drop off the swag bags to the three hotels that I had blocked for guests, AND get a mani pedi.

I didn't ask a single bridesmaid to help. My FI handled the cleaning and decorating of the house.

I promise that his dick didn't fall off, nor was it in any way damaged, and as of last night (over two years after the rehearsal) it was all fine and dandy.

Man the fuck up and stop whinging about this bridesmaid and her very important exam.

She isn't the one being selfish here. You and your FI are.

madamerwin · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

Clearly you came on here looking for validation to kick your FI's (presumably) close friend out of the wedding. Yet when EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON tells you that you are wrong, you tell us we're spiteful. Why would we be spiteful? We don't know you or your friends. If anything, you are being spiteful for even suggesting to kick the BM out just because she cares more about her career than your "special day".

Newsflash: No one cares about your wedding as much as you do. You are not a special snowflake, despite what your mom tells you. I would actually wonder what the hell is wrong with the BM for putting off the LSAT just so she can help your FI do her makeup.

Guess what: YOU ARE WRONG. It is not the responsibility of the bridal party to set up your wedding - that's your job. All a bridesmaid is required to do is show up on time (meaning on time for the ceremony, not on time to do your bitch work), in appropriate dress, sober. That is it.

To the bolded: Who is tearing each other apart here? Seems like everyone is in agreement that you would be incredibly rude and a shitty friend to kick this woman out for putting her career before your wedding. Yes, we may be tearing you a new asshole, but that's because you are straight-up wrong.

But by all means, tell the BM how you feel. You'd be doing her a favor, since clearly she doesn't know how little you care about her.

ETA: You want advice from people involved in weddings? Well... I'm eyeball deep in my own wedding planning. My MOH is in grad school in Australia. She got accepted to the university after I already asked her to be my BM, and she is just getting in to town today. She has not been able to be very involved in planning, because she is busy as shit halfway around the world pursuing her Master's degree. By your logic, I should have kicked her out, because only shitty friends put their education and career before my special day.

onefootinthebayou · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

SITB---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOL wut? The ceremony is at 6:00pm. Why would you be upset that she's taking a career critical exam that starts in the morning and is over well before the ceremony?

There's no bickering here - you are looking for validation of your terrible attitude! I'm not even going to touch your other comments, PPs have it covered - but there is literally no issue here! She will be available for the ceremony. End of story.

You're acting super entitled and it's really gross. You describe your FI as "reserved" but it's probably b/c she knows better than to behave this way.

Bridesmaids are guests of HONOR. You are your bride are responsible for throwing the reception, prepping for it the day of, or hiring someone to do so. It is incorrect to place these unrealistic expectations on your guests. It's quite rude.

I just got married two weeks ago. I did spend some time with BMs & family day of but there was no requirement that everyone be present in my suite while I was pampered like some princess holding court. Of course, there was a case of champagne in my suite so people came and went as they pleased but again, there was no requirement to do so. And my pregnant bridesmaid (how dare she be pregnant on MY day?!) was not there all day, nor would I expect her to be.

The correct attitude here is to let this go, congratulate her after the exam, and offer her a drink. (And maybe try to be kinder to your Fi's friends).

VulgarGirl · June 2015

AuroraRose41 said:

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

I gave you my opinion, as someone who is actively planning a wedding, studying for the LSAT, and was just asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. Is that not involved enough for you?

He means a man. He was hoping a man would show up. We're just a bunch of silly women who ought to be cooking.

Or if a woman was going to show up and give him advice the advice better be "That hussy better get her ass back to making sandwiches and tying tulle on chairs". As we women ought be doing.

Kauris · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

I know there are some people with common sense who will agree with me.

I'm only addressing this statement, because there are lots of women here with common sense, and those women are the ones who will vehemently disagree with you. Because we realize that the most important part of being a friend is supporting the very important things to THEM. Not just because YOU deem them very important. It is very important to HER, therefore should be very important to you, I mean your "fiancee". And you mentioned the rehearsal, if she misses the rehearsal, that is so not a big deal because really, who doesn't know how to walk down an aisle and smile. You need to back off and support your friend. Oh wait, I mean your "fiancee" needs to support "her friend".

I call MUD.

TrixieJess · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:
Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

FFS! She has more than enough time to write the exam, get ready and stand up with you. Hell, she may even have time for a nap!

You are acting selfish and spoiled.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings validation that my FI and I weren't being selfish and entitled. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy not validating our poor attitude, which is spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

FIFY.

It seems like the LSAT would begin in the morning- Knotties who are in law school/lawyers, was that your experience? Even if it starts at 9am, if it's a 5hr test she will be done by 2pm, leaving her plenty of time to get ready for your wedding ceremony.

You and your FI are seriously getting your panties in a bunch over nothing. You are acting like brats, frankly.

ETA: And just as you apparently have the experience and authority to judge this woman's career choices, I want to tell you that I personally have the experience and authority to judge you and your bride's behavior regarding this wedding.

I've been in 10+ weddings as a BM/MOH over the past decade and have attended another 20+ weddings as a guest; I know how it works. You two are being unreasonable.

missxasia · June 2015

I don't post here often at all, but this post makes me happy I have the friends I have. They're all a**holes but, if this is how they felt, they would say something. & I can make the decision that that would be the last conversation we had and move on without them in my life. This is utterly ridiculous and I hope she realizes the kind of people she has around her.

Knottie1434082956 · June 2015

VulgarGirl said:

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

I think you're a misogynist and that if this was one of the groomsmen you wouldn't be all up in arms and wanting to kick him out. I think you see her as a silly little woman who should've spent more time working on her MRS and now needs to get her pert little ass decorating and picking out lipsticks like a woman should.

And you see her being silly not because of what she has or has not done but because she is a woman and they are less then you. A big strong powerful man with real career goals and ambitions. And perhaps you even think women best stay out of the legal field and get to raising babies.

In other words, I think you need to take a real long walk off a real short pier.

You don't know a thing about me. Your comment reflects your own insecurities, not mine.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

arrrghmatey said:

VulgarGirl said:

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

I think you're a misogynist and that if this was one of the groomsmen you wouldn't be all up in arms and wanting to kick him out. I think you see her as a silly little woman who should've spent more time working on her MRS and now needs to get her pert little ass decorating and picking out lipsticks like a woman should.

And you see her being silly not because of what she has or has not done but because she is a woman and they are less then you. A big strong powerful man with real career goals and ambitions. And perhaps you even think women best stay out of the legal field and get to raising babies.

In other words, I think you need to take a real long walk off a real short pier.

Can I do the honors?

This seems wildly APPROPRIATE!!!

[Deleted User] · June 2015

I am a current law student with a law student fiance planning a wedding. I am familiar with both the angst of applying to law school and the comparative ease of planning a wedding. According to OP, I am exactly the poster he wants to hear from on this subject. No, it is not reasonable to expect the bridesmaid to postpone her LSAT until the Dec. test date. A December score will be released far too late in the acceptance season for it to be beneficial. Your fiance, her friend, should understand that the LSAT is the second most important exam of this woman's career (the first is obviously the Bar) and should want what is best for her friend. The detriment to the bridesmaid, if she were to postpone the exam, is far greater than the detriment to your wedding, if she takes the exam as scheduled.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

Jencita212 said:

I am a current law student with a law student fiance planning a wedding. I am familiar with both the angst of applying to law school and the comparative ease of planning a wedding. According to OP, I am exactly the poster he wants to hear from on this subject. No, it is not reasonable to expect the bridesmaid to postpone her LSAT until the Dec. test date. A December score will be released far too late in the acceptance season for it to be beneficial. Your fiance, her friend, should understand that the LSAT is the second most important exam of this woman's career (the first is obviously the Bar) and should want what is best for her friend. The detriment to the bridesmaid, if she were to postpone the exam, is far greater than the detriment to your wedding, if she takes the exam as scheduled.

How long is the LSAT and at what times does it usually begin?

Do you think she could complete it with enough time to be on time for a 6pm ceremony?

Viczaesar · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Jencita212 said:

I am a current law student with a law student fiance planning a wedding. I am familiar with both the angst of applying to law school and the comparative ease of planning a wedding. According to OP, I am exactly the poster he wants to hear from on this subject. No, it is not reasonable to expect the bridesmaid to postpone her LSAT until the Dec. test date. A December score will be released far too late in the acceptance season for it to be beneficial. Your fiance, her friend, should understand that the LSAT is the second most important exam of this woman's career (the first is obviously the Bar) and should want what is best for her friend. The detriment to the bridesmaid, if she were to postpone the exam, is far greater than the detriment to your wedding, if she takes the exam as scheduled.

How long is the LSAT and at what times does it usually begin?

Do you think she could complete it with enough time to be on time for a 6pm ceremony?

OP already said that the test starts at 8:30 am and lasts up to 5 hours.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

-Boxes-

They're only spiteful and lousy because of your attitude toward this person. if you came on here and was generally upset and/or worried this person wasn't going to make the wedding, after committing to being there, you'd get some sympathetic answers. If you tried to understand people's POV and take into account the bridesmaid's personal priorities, you would have received very respectable answers.

Instead, you ripped this poor girl apart to a bunch of strangers online. She's not even here to defend herself. You tried to justify her past choices, her mistakes, and her lifestyle because you wanted validation. That doesn't get your respect.

How would you like it if someone treated your fiancé that way? How would you like it if this "friend" was ripping your choices apart to complete strangers?

Viczaesar · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

Wait just a goddamn second here. You are calling us "spiteful and lousy"? You, who describe one of your FI's bridesmaids as:

The bridesmaid in question is older, has dabbled in 3-4 majors, and has just NOW graduated with a degree. She is up to her eyeballs in debt, and is now insisting on applying to Ivy League law schools. She actually did very well on her LSAT in February, but is insisting on taking it once again. She wants to become a civil rights attorney to "change the system".

This isn't some budding, mature female lawyer. Its your run of the mill naive Millennial.

This isn't a Lifetime special, ladies. The world doesn't revolve around unrealistic career aspects.

I'm going to speak your own language, since you're acting like an immature and selfish pre-teen: he who smelt it dealt it. You catch a whiff of spite and lousy attitude? Best check your own armpits before pointing the finger at someone else.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

Viczaesar said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Jencita212 said:

I am a current law student with a law student fiance planning a wedding. I am familiar with both the angst of applying to law school and the comparative ease of planning a wedding. According to OP, I am exactly the poster he wants to hear from on this subject. No, it is not reasonable to expect the bridesmaid to postpone her LSAT until the Dec. test date. A December score will be released far too late in the acceptance season for it to be beneficial. Your fiance, her friend, should understand that the LSAT is the second most important exam of this woman's career (the first is obviously the Bar) and should want what is best for her friend. The detriment to the bridesmaid, if she were to postpone the exam, is far greater than the detriment to your wedding, if she takes the exam as scheduled.

How long is the LSAT and at what times does it usually begin?

Do you think she could complete it with enough time to be on time for a 6pm ceremony?

OP already said that the test starts at 8:30 am and lasts up to 5 hours.

So it will be over at 1:30pm-2pm if they get breaks.

And their ceremony is at 6pm.

I really fail to see what the fucking problem is.

Oh wait, the problem is that this couple seems to want the BMs to be at the back and call of the bride and help her DIY, set up the venues, do her make up, etc.

Just curious, what are the GMs supposed to be doing for you? What are you, as the Groom, going to be doing?

huskypuppy14 · June 2015

What do you and your future wife do for a career OP?

Knottie1434082956 · June 2015

Sheesh, this thread is done.

[Removed]

Good job acting like men.

AuroraRose41 · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Viczaesar said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Jencita212 said:

I am a current law student with a law student fiance planning a wedding. I am familiar with both the angst of applying to law school and the comparative ease of planning a wedding. According to OP, I am exactly the poster he wants to hear from on this subject. No, it is not reasonable to expect the bridesmaid to postpone her LSAT until the Dec. test date. A December score will be released far too late in the acceptance season for it to be beneficial. Your fiance, her friend, should understand that the LSAT is the second most important exam of this woman's career (the first is obviously the Bar) and should want what is best for her friend. The detriment to the bridesmaid, if she were to postpone the exam, is far greater than the detriment to your wedding, if she takes the exam as scheduled.

How long is the LSAT and at what times does it usually begin?

Do you think she could complete it with enough time to be on time for a 6pm ceremony?

OP already said that the test starts at 8:30 am and lasts up to 5 hours.

So it will be over at 1:30pm-2pm if they get breaks.

And their ceremony is at 6pm.

I really fail to see what the fucking problem is.

Oh wait, the problem is that this couple seems to want the BMs to be at the back and call of the bride and help her DIY, set up the venues, do her make up, etc.

Just curious, what are the GMs supposed to be doing for you? What are you, as the Groom, going to be doing?

All of this.

And since you asked, you have to be there at 8:30 am for the October date (most likely starting at 9), and the test itself consists of 6 35-minute timed sections (3.5 hours total of test time). There is one 15 minute break halfway through. So, if everything starts on time, she should be walking out of the test by 1 pm (9 am + 3.75 hours = 12:45 pm). Even if things run a few minutes behind schedule that still gives her plenty of time to get ready for a 6 pm ceremony.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:
Ceremony is at 6pm.

You guys can bicker about the situation as much as you want.

I wanted opinions from other people involved in weddings. Most of your opinions are spiteful and lousy; have fun tearing each other apart.

OK so the test is at 8:30am and the whole thing takes 4-5 hours. So she'll be done at 12:30-1:30pm. That gives her 5.5-4.5 HOURS before the wedding.

That's more than enough time to get ready with the girls.

Your problem is that you want her to work for you. And that is YOUR problem.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

You don't know my liiiife! I feel sorry for your husbands! Are we at bingo yet?

Knottie63176412 · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Sheesh, this thread is done.

***removed***

Good job acting like men.

.... What?

Not sure what you expected, asking for advice on a forum with mostly women.

Viczaesar · June 2015

Knottie1434082956 said:

Sheesh, this thread is done.

***removed***

Good job acting like men.

Not done, even if you are a smelly troll with a bike pump fetish.

lyndausvi · June 2015

Well I think that ended well. How about you?

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