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Elopement questions
Hi all!
After a few months of searching and researching and hating every place we saw, we have decided that we want to say "Screw it" to the traditional wedding and do our own thing! It is such a relief honestly to not have to plan an elaborate wedding that would be for everyone else, not ourselves.
First of all- where would you recommend we look? I'm thinking Costa Rica or somewhere tropical that we can be active one day and the next we can lay on a beach with a drink in our hands. Ideally we'd like to find a place that will do the ceremony and then we stay for a week.
Second- how do we tell family and my bridesmaids? We'd like to extend the invitation for our friends to join us, but it won't be what they've been expecting this all to be. Because my parents can't travel (disabled), we've decided that parents will not be part of this. I know they'll be hurt but this is only fair. Should we make an announcement to all of the people we were originally going to invite to let them know our plans?
Third- Do people still do registries? I'm not really huge on it in the first place, but it's a question that's come up.
Ahh.. So many questions. But this feel SO right.
Thanks!
Meredith
Meredith
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Elopement questions
I disagree. OP is cancelling her current plans. She should tell whoever she has previously invited that this wedding will not take place, which is true. And then plan your elopement.
FWIW, it sounds like you are planning a DW and not an elopement since its not a surprise and you will be inviting guests.
I eloped, meaning I didn't tell anyone we were marrying beforehand. What you are describing is more of an intimate DW. A Private DW is when just the two of you are there, but people knew about your wedding plans. Anyway, eloping was the best decision we ever made. We eloped to Australia and it was amazing!!! It was very easy to legally marry there. Our ceremony was extremely private and very personal. We only had the celebrant, photographer, and wedding coordinator present.
I did not have a registry or anything wedding related because, well, no one knew our plans. If you invite people to your DW, you can technically have a registry. But, I would forgo it unless someone wants to throw you a shower. Keep in mind that if you do have a shower, only the people invited to the wedding can be invited to the shower. I imagine you don't want any fuss, so I would recommend you just decline any offers, if you receive them.
As far as telling people about your change in plans, just be honest. If you want to invite some of those people, you'll still need to send out invites and properly host them while they are there.
Meredith
If you are looking at foreign countries for a wedding location, make sure and check their laws. Some places, like Mexico. are more difficult for paperwork and requirements to get a marriage license.
You need to cancel your current wedding plans. Send written notices out to everyone who received a Save the Date, or other invitation. Make your new plans for a different date.
If you decide to have a destination wedding (inviting guests), all the rules still apply. You must host a reception for your guests after the ceremony. You should send out written invitations. Do not try to make financial decisions for your guests. They will have the option of declining if they feel it is too expensive.
You can definitely have a party afterwards, though I personally don't get that. The wedding reception is the most stressful part of planning a wedding. It's the most costly, most time consuming, and the most involved piece. It usually causes the most drama. It's about the guests, as a reception is a thank you to them for attending your wedding. Planning an AHR will still have all of those problems as a AHR is a thank you to your friends/family for supporting your plans to marry. But, it's acceptable to do this as long as you don't treat it as a wedding reception. Just a nice party/celebration.
We had 25 guests at our destination wedding. There were many that couldn't make it (and many that we chose not to invite). We thought about having a BBQ back in my home town in Michigan and in our current town in Arizona within a couple months after the wedding. Mainly because a lot of my family hadn't even met my husband yet. It wasn't going to be a wedding reception at all, just an informal get together with all our favorite people. It would allow people to congratulate us, but it wasn't really a wedding related function.
You can totally do a party, just don't make it focused on the wedding. Just through a typical BBQ or whatever party.
We're doing an intimate DW in the States. People know the date, the place, etc, but because we can't afford to properly host any guests, it will just be us, the photog, the officiant, and the required witnesses. Do we have a guest list just in case we win the lotto? Sure. But even that list is under 30 including us. The location is not up for debate because it's the only thing that FI is requesting. We will most likely NOT have an AHR later, either. To me that seems gift grabby and very AWish. Will people be bummed? Maybe. But people aren't as concerned/consumed with your wedding as you are.
Decide what's best for you & FI and plan away. Don't worry about the feelings of others - if you start doing that you might as well go back to your original plans.
Can someone please explain what this means? It's said multiple times in this thread and I don't understand what it entails. During a DW what exactly do you need to do to host your guests properly (aside from the reception)?
All that I get of course. I thought they meant host them properly during their travels, etc. Thanks for answering.