I'd be salty because I would want to handle it first. They're free to chime in if they want to, but I'd want to be the one to primarily handle it and "take the heat".
UO, but calling out the mods here is not really fair. As they have said, the Chit Chat board is now moderated by admins not moderators.
I am only posting on this thread BECAUSE mods were called out. But honestly, there's not much I can say or do here *shrug*
Maybe I'm not understanding what you mean. You'd be salty if other mods came in and edited threads on the board you mod because you want to handle it first? That is not at all what us non-mods are taking issue with. We are taking issue with the fact that some comments are being edited for violating TOS but other similar comments aren't being edited, and there is no explanation of what is a violation. Don't say that we can talk explicitly about sex as long as there is a TMI warning and then decide that following that rule is a TOS violation for some people but not others.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
RE: Your edit.
There are MULTIPLE POSTS depicting graphic heterosexual encounters. None of them were edited or modded. However, any posts that depicted or seemed to depict homosexual encounters have been modded out and, supposedly, warned - TOS violations generally come with warnings for the offender. So... yeah, not sure how FI giving me amazing cunnilingus is any different than Vulgar giving her wife amazing cunnilingus (although I didn't get to see the OP, so I can't be sure that's what it was exactly).
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
Oh, so the admins DO talk to you! They must, if you know exactly what the problem was with VulgarGirl's post. I'm sure it couldn't possibly be speculation on your part.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
Is that the penis & vagina board? Where is that?
I wanna mod that board.
The closest my boards have come to talking about that is a user who asked if she should put condoms in her bathroom baskets. A few users seemed a bit horrified, though depending on your crowd it may be a good idea. There was also the other user who mentioned her "lady parts" in the title and we all thought the thread was going to be about like, giving her pubes a pink mohawk for the wedding night or something. It wound up being about a bra.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
RE: Your edit.
There are MULTIPLE POSTS depicting graphic heterosexual encounters. None of them were edited or modded. However, any posts that depicted or seemed to depict homosexual encounters have been modded out and, supposedly, warned - TOS violations generally come with warnings for the offender. So... yeah, not sure how FI giving me amazing cunnilingus is any different than Vulgar giving her wife amazing cunnilingus (although I didn't get to see the OP, so I can't be sure that's what it was exactly).
LadyMil wanted to know what mods would do another boards, the boards other than CC. If you visis other boards you will see topics that include same sex wedding issues - names, invites, spotlight dance, who escorts down the aisle, who to invite, etc. VulgarGirl was not warned for being a lesbian. If I ever thought that was happening around here, I'd never log back in TK even to GBCK. I've ended relationships IRRL with narrow minded people. I love my sister, her wife and their baby, so be certain if there was any chance VG was being targeted for being gay I'd be the first one to leave.
How you describe oral sex could result in XO deciding it is a violation - violations were give out for both versions of ora sex in this thread. The lax attitude toward graphic descriptions seems to have tightened up. That's XO's call. It's their site.
If you or I don't like it, then maybe we should go elsewhere. I hear there are plenty of other forums out there, even ones where you can say tell people to "F Off" and it's not a violation. There's a place for everyone on the interwebz, if you just look hard enough.
I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
Oh, so the admins DO talk to you! They must, if you know exactly what the problem was with VulgarGirl's post. I'm sure it couldn't possibly be speculation on your part.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
We
understand there is confusion about the use of profanity on the
Community and that our guidelines and TOS are not in synch. We have
recognized this fact and we are working on fixing them. It will take us a
week or two to write up clarified guidelines. We ask that you give us
time to do so."
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
photokitty said:
hellosweetie1015 said:
photokitty said:
LadyMillil said:I get it, the admins mod this board so all you other mods don't have a say in what is edited here. So, if @Vulgargirl goes to another board and makes a comment about eating her wife's pussy, with a TMI warning and all that jazz, it is up to the mod's discretion if that is a TOS violation. So, for example, @Vulgargirl can talk about lesbianing or say pussy (with TMI warning) on etiquette or C&T, but not chit chat or budget because some mods/admins are ok with that and others aren't.
(Cutting the quote tree) IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board. If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards. ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation.
RE: Your edit. There are MULTIPLE POSTS depicting graphic heterosexual encounters. None of them were edited or modded. However, any posts that depicted or seemed to depict homosexual encounters have been modded out and, supposedly, warned - TOS violations generally come with warnings for the offender. So... yeah, not sure how FI giving me amazing cunnilingus is any different than Vulgar giving her wife amazing cunnilingus (although I didn't get to see the OP, so I can't be sure that's what it was exactly).
LadyMil wanted to know what mods would do another boards, the boards other than CC. If you visis other boards you will see topics that include same sex wedding issues - names, invites, spotlight dance, who escorts down the aisle, who to invite, etc. VulgarGirl was not warned for being a lesbian. If I ever thought that was happening around here, I'd never log back in TK even to GBCK. I've ended relationships IRRL with narrow minded people. I love my sister, her wife and their baby, so be certain if there was any chance VG was being targeted for being gay I'd be the first one to leave. How you describe oral sex could result in XO deciding it is a violation - violations were give out for both versions of ora sex in this thread. The lax attitude toward graphic descriptions seems to have tightened up. That's XO's call. It's their site. If you or I don't like it, then maybe we should go elsewhere. I hear there are plenty of other forums out there, even ones where you can say tell people to "F Off" and it's not a violation. There's a place for everyone on the interwebz, if you just look hard enough. ____________________________________FUCKING HELL WITH THE QUOTE BOXES.
Yes, there are other places. I'm a member (albeit not a good one...) of several writing forums, a general life forum, and was at one point a member of a forum about a freaking flash game. I'm well aware that the internet is nigh on infinite, thanks for the reminder.
My issue has literally nothing to do with their inclusiveness on wedding-specific topics. CC is a life board. There are TMI topics. However, if I can talk about my FI licking my pussy and making my toes curl, so should someone - anyone - else. If it's labeled TMI, overtly graphic descriptions are GOING TO HAPPEN. Maybe I didn't get vulgar enough to get a warning, but goddammit if we someone can't be vulgar in a clearly-labeled TMI thread without KH and KR getting their princessly panties in a knot, then there's a problem.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
Oh no, I get your point. I just think your point is dumb. That's simply my opinion.
This is not a democracy. We are not agents of change. This is not a system we are bound to participate in. XO isn't an elected official or even a non-profit. They owe us nothing.
I don't think it's unreasonable for XO to control the content posted on the forums that they own. There has been no drastic change like the Reddit situation described. Reddit makes it money off the users and is a completely different animal, TK makes it's money off the advertisers. We are just a small extension of that. I'd love to know how many visitors to TK never venture into the forums, I'd guess a lot. The views off wedding registries alone have to dwarf the forums by a long shot.
Also if the mods closed down the forums for 2 days, like the reddit mods did I would fully expect to be revealed of my duties. While I am a volunteer, I am only a volunteer as long as XO wants me to be one. I'm not changing who I am to please XO, but I fully realize I have no rights when it comes to being a mod or even a user on TK.
I understand dissent. I love Chikfila - I have never stepped foot in there since the owner expressed his opinion. I don't see the need to keep going up tot he drive thru and complain to the high school kid about the fact that he works for a hateful, horrible company. I just hit them were it hurts, I take me money else where.
Do you want TK to ban all sex talk? I bet the XO corporates would more than happy to comply with that request. That would make corporate's job much easier and then the TOS could be clear. How does that sound? If you don't like that option, you are probably always going to have to deal with XO making some decisions that you find vague or unfair.
I find it immature and lame to try and see how vulgar one can be before getting banned. Whatever, I'm bored. This isn't my board - not my circus, not my moneys. I'm going go find some more interesting threads to participate in or head back to P&V, where shockingly there isn't any graphic descriptions of penises or vaginas.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
To the second: I can't speak for anyone else who used to post more but tends to only chime in when things get hot, but my wedding is a month away. I lurk here all the time now. I'm not popping into every wedding-related thread with questions or advice (which is often covered by the time I find the topics of interest to me) but I'm around. It's not my fault it's been dull as plain oatmeal around CC for the past month or so and the only threads worth participating in are controversial ones.
To the third: This is absolutely true. But I have also seen TK respond to user feedback. The very fact that we even have mods at all today is due to what I am told was a MAJOR shitstorm a few summers back. It's not futile to hope to effect change. If it becomes clear that it's a lost cause and I stop getting anything at all out of being here, I'll join those who have gone. But for now, yeah, I'm going to do my best to stand up for what I think is right, and important. Even if the all-knowing and wise @photokitty thinks it's dumb. That's okay. I think her ideas are dumb, too.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
To the second: I can't speak for anyone else who used to post more but tends to only chime in when things get hot, but my wedding is a month away. I lurk here all the time now. I'm not popping into every wedding-related thread with questions or advice (which is often covered by the time I find the topics of interest to me) but I'm around. It's not my fault it's been dull as plain oatmeal around CC for the past month or so and the only threads worth participating in are controversial ones.
To the third: This is absolutely true. But I have also seen TK respond to user feedback. The very fact that we even have mods at all today is due to what I am told was a MAJOR shitstorm a few summers back. It's not futile to hope to effect change. If it becomes clear that it's a lost cause and I stop getting anything at all out of being here, I'll join those who have gone. But for now, yeah, I'm going to do my best to stand up for what I think is right, and important. Even if the all-knowing and wise @photokitty thinks it's dumb. That's okay. I think her ideas are dumb, too.
did you all try to go over to the treehouse a few months ago and got shooed away by the regulars over there? where does one go after TK and after TH?
Tried to quote Katie and fucked it up. I'm not married yet, not for another three months, two weeks, and some days (don't remember the exact number). I'm lurking all over because I do still need to address envelopes and get ideas for decor and such, but I rarely commented outside CC in the first place, so lurking it is for me.
And - like I've already said, I've got a place to go if I decide it's not worth it to lurk any more, y'all can find me over on the NaNoWriMo forums.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
To the second: I can't speak for anyone else who used to post more but tends to only chime in when things get hot, but my wedding is a month away. I lurk here all the time now. I'm not popping into every wedding-related thread with questions or advice (which is often covered by the time I find the topics of interest to me) but I'm around. It's not my fault it's been dull as plain oatmeal around CC for the past month or so and the only threads worth participating in are controversial ones.
To the third: This is absolutely true. But I have also seen TK respond to user feedback. The very fact that we even have mods at all today is due to what I am told was a MAJOR shitstorm a few summers back. It's not futile to hope to effect change. If it becomes clear that it's a lost cause and I stop getting anything at all out of being here, I'll join those who have gone. But for now, yeah, I'm going to do my best to stand up for what I think is right, and important. Even if the all-knowing and wise @photokitty thinks it's dumb. That's okay. I think her ideas are dumb, too.
did you all try to go over to the treehouse a few months ago and got shooed away by the regulars over there? where does one go after TK and after TH?
I also am really curious about this- I lurked around TH randomly a few times and it seems like a lot of TK posters who left to go over there (when Ashley flipped out or whatever) are no longer there either. What happened? I checked and Ashley's account specifically doesn't even exist anymore (only noticed hers in particular because she was like the focus of several threads when they all first arrived because she was the impetus for leaving).
Anyway I just want to know what happened! Don't really care where they went but I'm curious.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
To the second: I can't speak for anyone else who used to post more but tends to only chime in when things get hot, but my wedding is a month away. I lurk here all the time now. I'm not popping into every wedding-related thread with questions or advice (which is often covered by the time I find the topics of interest to me) but I'm around. It's not my fault it's been dull as plain oatmeal around CC for the past month or so and the only threads worth participating in are controversial ones.
To the third: This is absolutely true. But I have also seen TK respond to user feedback. The very fact that we even have mods at all today is due to what I am told was a MAJOR shitstorm a few summers back. It's not futile to hope to effect change. If it becomes clear that it's a lost cause and I stop getting anything at all out of being here, I'll join those who have gone. But for now, yeah, I'm going to do my best to stand up for what I think is right, and important. Even if the all-knowing and wise @photokitty thinks it's dumb. That's okay. I think her ideas are dumb, too.
did you all try to go over to the treehouse a few months ago and got shooed away by the regulars over there? where does one go after TK and after TH?
I also am really curious about this- I lurked around TH randomly a few times and it seems like a lot of TK posters who left to go over there (when Ashley flipped out or whatever) are no longer there either. What happened? I checked and Ashley's account specifically doesn't even exist anymore (only noticed hers in particular because she was like the focus of several threads when they all first arrived because she was the impetus for leaving).
Anyway I just want to know what happened! Don't really care where they went but I'm curious.
***just in case boxes***
This seems like a lot of work for something you don't care about. Weren't you one of the ones who said she intimidated you, contributed to a negative environment, etc. after she was gone?
Everyone got in their spaceships and flew away to Sextillion, the dirtiest adult entertainment planet in the galaxy. It's just sub-level after sub-level of debauchery, each descent getting only nastier by the second.
I'd tell you about it, but it's so vulgar, so absolutely deprived, that the obscenity of it all would melt the skin right off your bones.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
To the second: I can't speak for anyone else who used to post more but tends to only chime in when things get hot, but my wedding is a month away. I lurk here all the time now. I'm not popping into every wedding-related thread with questions or advice (which is often covered by the time I find the topics of interest to me) but I'm around. It's not my fault it's been dull as plain oatmeal around CC for the past month or so and the only threads worth participating in are controversial ones.
To the third: This is absolutely true. But I have also seen TK respond to user feedback. The very fact that we even have mods at all today is due to what I am told was a MAJOR shitstorm a few summers back. It's not futile to hope to effect change. If it becomes clear that it's a lost cause and I stop getting anything at all out of being here, I'll join those who have gone. But for now, yeah, I'm going to do my best to stand up for what I think is right, and important. Even if the all-knowing and wise @photokitty thinks it's dumb. That's okay. I think her ideas are dumb, too.
did you all try to go over to the treehouse a few months ago and got shooed away by the regulars over there? where does one go after TK and after TH?
I also am really curious about this- I lurked around TH randomly a few times and it seems like a lot of TK posters who left to go over there (when Ashley flipped out or whatever) are no longer there either. What happened? I checked and Ashley's account specifically doesn't even exist anymore (only noticed hers in particular because she was like the focus of several threads when they all first arrived because she was the impetus for leaving).
Anyway I just want to know what happened! Don't really care where they went but I'm curious.
***just in case boxes***
This seems of work for something you don't care about. Weren't you one of the ones who said she intimidated you, contributed to a negative environment, etc. after she was gone?
Are you meaning to say this seems like a lot of work for something I don't care about? If that's what you're trying to say... idk, I mean it really wasn't any work... I lurked over at TH maybe a few days after the whole kerfuffle went down and saw many people were posting over there. I lurked again a week or two later because nothing was happening over here and I was looking for something to read, so I read a few threads over there. I went back a week or two later to read threads once again and happened to see some of the regs over there making comments about how all the people who had come over from TK were obsessed with drama, so that caused me to look around and see if something had gone down, at which point I noticed lots of TK people who had moved over there were not participating anymore. Simple enough.
And to answer your second question, no I did not like Ashley and I did think she made it unpleasant to be around here.
Anyway, so what happened over there anyway??
ETA: BTW I also said that to her directly before she was gone, I wasn't like coming out of the woodwork after she left.
I heard that Lolo wanted to fly to Hawaii for a dolphin-assisted waterbirth. She's months away from actually giving birth, but I think she felt that the more dolphin time in-utero, the better. I'm not sure about the rest of them, didn't even notice anyone was gone to be honest.
Did you miss KnotHolly's response in this thread? It seemed clear to me that it wasn't for using the word pussy. I'll quote it below, JIC. I don't see anywhere that the offending word was pussy. And once again, it's XO's site, they get to do what they want...why is that so hard to understand?
We have allowed TMI posts in the past, but none of those posts have ever used graphic language to this extent. The original post on this thread was found to be a violation of the TOS as it used this graphic language gratuitously, which is also why other posts on this thread have been flagged and removed. We've received multiple reports from users about this discussion.
Please note that if these kinds of posts continue on this thread, it will be closed. Please also note that creating other threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning, and will also be removed.
Thank you.
Your ability to be as condescending as possible while simultaneously missing the point is astonishing.
I understand that TK makes the rules. I am protesting those rules. Both their (apparent) nature, AND their confusing enforcement. This is a thing that people do when they are concerned about their community. Sometimes, you try to salvage some part of a place you once enjoyed before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Hence the fact that I have not decided to "go down in a blaze of glory"--I'm not so frustrated that I want to give up entirely. Yet.)
You seem to misunderstand the nature and purpose of dissent. For a great example that parallels this community, and our mods' place in it, I encourage you (and anyone else) to read this op-ed by two moderators over at reddit:
But ZOMG maybe they should just find a new place on the internet to be!!!111!!!
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
At least here it's only a handful of people who are protesting. Quite a few who only seem to pop in here when they see a "hot" topic. They come, try to make waves and then disappear until the next hot topic comes around.
I just do not see XO group bending over backwards to make a few already married posters who only contribute to hot chit chat posts happy. Those users are not their target audience.
I've been here a long time. I've seen people come and go. It's just the nature of the board.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
To the second: I can't speak for anyone else who used to post more but tends to only chime in when things get hot, but my wedding is a month away. I lurk here all the time now. I'm not popping into every wedding-related thread with questions or advice (which is often covered by the time I find the topics of interest to me) but I'm around. It's not my fault it's been dull as plain oatmeal around CC for the past month or so and the only threads worth participating in are controversial ones.
To the third: This is absolutely true. But I have also seen TK respond to user feedback. The very fact that we even have mods at all today is due to what I am told was a MAJOR shitstorm a few summers back. It's not futile to hope to effect change. If it becomes clear that it's a lost cause and I stop getting anything at all out of being here, I'll join those who have gone. But for now, yeah, I'm going to do my best to stand up for what I think is right, and important. Even if the all-knowing and wise @photokitty thinks it's dumb. That's okay. I think her ideas are dumb, too.
did you all try to go over to the treehouse a few months ago and got shooed away by the regulars over there? where does one go after TK and after TH?
I also am really curious about this- I lurked around TH randomly a few times and it seems like a lot of TK posters who left to go over there (when Ashley flipped out or whatever) are no longer there either. What happened? I checked and Ashley's account specifically doesn't even exist anymore (only noticed hers in particular because she was like the focus of several threads when they all first arrived because she was the impetus for leaving).
Anyway I just want to know what happened! Don't really care where they went but I'm curious.
***just in case boxes***
This seems of work for something you don't care about. Weren't you one of the ones who said she intimidated you, contributed to a negative environment, etc. after she was gone?
Are you meaning to say this seems like a lot of work for something I don't care about? If that's what you're trying to say... idk, I mean it really wasn't any work... I lurked over at TH maybe a few days after the whole kerfuffle went down and saw many people were posting over there. I lurked again a week or two later because nothing was happening over here and I was looking for something to read, so I read a few threads over there. I went back a week or two later to read threads once again and happened to see some of the regs over there making comments about how all the people who had come over from TK were obsessed with drama, so that caused me to look around and see if something had gone down, at which point I noticed lots of TK people who had moved over there were not participating anymore. Simple enough.
And to answer your second question, no I did not like Ashley and I did think she made it unpleasant to be around here.
Anyway, so what happened over there anyway??
ETA: BTW I also said that to her directly before she was gone, I wasn't like coming out of the woodwork after she left.
Pretty much as you say - some people went over there, it wasn't that great a fit overall, they moved on. I don't think it's the kind of board that keeps much behind the scenes, you could probably even ask the TH regs and they would give their perspective.
Re: This thread is so gay (TMI)
"Hi all,
Just wondering, did this ever happen, or...?
(Cutting the quote tree)
IMO, it would depend how it was relevant to the topic of the board. If she posted that on my board I would move it to CC, bc it would be CC as my board is dedicate dot wedding photos and videos. That would be more porn photography and as such CC. I can't think of how discussing oral sex would be relevant to invitations, ceremonies, receptions or etiquette. Oral sex is definitely a topic for the CC board.
If you came on the P&V board and asked what breed of dog you should get I would also move that to the CC board. I'm an equal opportunity mover. I move a lot of thread to the local boards.
ETA - we engage in and answer all sort of same sex wedding discussion on other boards. This is not a lesbian issue, regardless of what some people are claiming. No one got warned for saying pussy, pussy was not the graphic word here - it was the fact that a bunch of words were strung together in a way which TK deemed graphic and a violation. RE: Your edit.
There are MULTIPLE POSTS depicting graphic heterosexual encounters. None of them were edited or modded. However, any posts that depicted or seemed to depict homosexual encounters have been modded out and, supposedly, warned - TOS violations generally come with warnings for the offender. So... yeah, not sure how FI giving me amazing cunnilingus is any different than Vulgar giving her wife amazing cunnilingus (although I didn't get to see the OP, so I can't be sure that's what it was exactly). LadyMil wanted to know what mods would do another boards, the boards other than CC. If you visis other boards you will see topics that include same sex wedding issues - names, invites, spotlight dance, who escorts down the aisle, who to invite, etc. VulgarGirl was not warned for being a lesbian. If I ever thought that was happening around here, I'd never log back in TK even to GBCK. I've ended relationships IRRL with narrow minded people. I love my sister, her wife and their baby, so be certain if there was any chance VG was being targeted for being gay I'd be the first one to leave.
How you describe oral sex could result in XO deciding it is a violation - violations were give out for both versions of ora sex in this thread. The lax attitude toward graphic descriptions seems to have tightened up. That's XO's call. It's their site.
If you or I don't like it, then maybe we should go elsewhere. I hear there are plenty of other forums out there, even ones where you can say tell people to "F Off" and it's not a violation. There's a place for everyone on the interwebz, if you just look hard enough.
____________________________________FUCKING HELL WITH THE QUOTE BOXES.
And - like I've already said, I've got a place to go if I decide it's not worth it to lurk any more, y'all can find me over on the NaNoWriMo forums.
That is an interesting article. i'm not sure it's completely the same though.
To the first bold, I didn't mean for it to be "exactly the same." It's just a situation where community members of a forum took their corporate masters to task, and I shared it to illustrate that it's not unheard of to react to perceived bullshit by saying something, rather than "going somewhere else."
I also am really curious about this- I lurked around TH randomly a few times and it seems like a lot of TK posters who left to go over there (when Ashley flipped out or whatever) are no longer there either. What happened? I checked and Ashley's account specifically doesn't even exist anymore (only noticed hers in particular because she was like the focus of several threads when they all first arrived because she was the impetus for leaving).
***just in case boxes***
This seems like a lot of work for something you don't care about. Weren't you one of the ones who said she intimidated you, contributed to a negative environment, etc. after she was gone?
@KnotRiley @KnotHolly when are you guys going to address the technical issues that plague your forum? How embarrassing.
Anyhoo:
Yes she is my girlfriend