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Snarky Brides

Is this site literally just for people to cause drama?

This is my first day on this site, where I thought would be a great place to speak with other brides-to-be about advice or issues I'm having planning my own wedding, & have received nothing but backlash & negativity. I am shocked that I'm asking for advice, & getting people swearing at me over my simple question. If this is how this site is, I'll remove myself now. I'm just curious as this seemed like a great place to ask questions. 
IceQueenSupreme94fyrchksunflowersandcurlsBigwandscanadianteacher
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Re: Is this site literally just for people to cause drama?

  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    rrroxanne said:
    This is my first day on this site, where I thought would be a great place to speak with other brides-to-be about advice or issues I'm having planning my own wedding, & have received nothing but backlash & negativity. I am shocked that I'm asking for advice, & getting people swearing at me over my simple question. If this is how this site is, I'll remove myself now. I'm just curious as this seemed like a great place to ask questions. 
    Who swore at you? I saw a thread you posted and saw nothing but advice. It wasn't advice you wanted to hear, but if you're just looking for people to validate you then you're right - you may be happier somewhere else. 

    Formerly martha1818

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    Knottie1452098987
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Oh, christ. image
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    [Deleted User]particuliersylphePrettyGirlLostlc07
  • Heffalump said:
    I learned a lot on this site when I was planning my wedding, met some cool people (which is why I stuck around), and have continued to learn things.

    As for causing drama, it's almost always on the OP's part, not the responders'.  Rarely does someone say "I'd like opinions on roses versus hydrangeas" and it instantly goes to

    http://media.giphy.com/media/TVCqfX7rLyMuY/giphy.gif
    Quoting for TRUTH
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  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    rrroxanne said:
    This is my first day on this site, where I thought would be a great place to speak with other brides-to-be about advice or issues I'm having planning my own wedding, & have received nothing but backlash & negativity. I am shocked that I'm asking for advice, & getting people swearing at me over my simple question. If this is how this site is, I'll remove myself now. I'm just curious as this seemed like a great place to ask questions. 

    This is a great forum.  For logical people with common sense, who don't have their heads up their butts, and don't think that their wedding is going to be the event of the century and oh my gosh, everyone is going to do exactly what I tell them to because it's my special day and they just love me.

    This is the forum for people who have questions and want real answers.  For people who know that sometimes the people closest to you won't say exactly what they're thinking because they're afraid it'll hurt your feelings.  For people who honestly don't know about some parts of wedding planning, and want to know how other people did/do it.  For people who make mistakes and aren't afraid to get corrected on it.

    For people who don't feel it's necessary to call out a bunch of people on a Snarky Brides board, complaining about getting real answers.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostAmanderson1290lc07
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Yup, there's at least as much drama here as at productions by the Royal Shakespeare Company.  It's mostly caused by people who come here with either incorrect ideas about the etiquette of weddings or otherwise bad ideas and then get upset when they don't get the validation they were expecting from the posters.

    If, on the other hand, you're looking for genuine assistance with a wedding question or issue, and realize that nobody here is going to act like the wedding police but everyone here does care enough to help keep you from being a BSC, self-centered, unspeakably rude [expletive] person to the friends and relatives you are inviting to your event, we're happy to be of help.  There are a number of threads from other posters who show appreciation for the fact that even though people here can be blunt, we're trying to help.

    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostlc07
  • So you didn't lurk at all before your first post? Okay.

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    And are you sure someone "swearing" at you wasn't a signature gif?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I just read your Bridesmaid post.  You're a shitty friend.  

    Oops, I just swore!  


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    [Deleted User]climbingwifeAmanderson1290Knottie1452098987
  • Gee. I posted a question that could have led to a riot. Because I was willing to not think it's MY wedding, screw social manners, people were nice and as helpful as possible with limited information. Clearly I did something wrong. To pick on me -

    My mom's husband is not good, his actions were so bad there was no custody or visitation, I know any answer will cause problems, but how do I not invite him - I got advice saying I could probably not invite him because safety trumps etiquette.

    Ugh, I can't stand him! He's so mean, he won't let me be a pretty diva, I'm not inviting him despite the fact he's raised me most of my life - I'm going to get shot down because I'm reverting to toddler mentality of it's only MY way or I throw a tantrum.


  • Gee. I posted a question that could have led to a riot. Because I was willing to not think it's MY wedding, screw social manners, people were nice and as helpful as possible with limited information. Clearly I did something wrong. To pick on me - My mom's husband is not good, his actions were so bad there was no custody or visitation, I know any answer will cause problems, but how do I not invite him - I got advice saying I could probably not invite him because safety trumps etiquette. Ugh, I can't stand him! He's so mean, he won't let me be a pretty diva, I'm not inviting him despite the fact he's raised me most of my life - I'm going to get shot down because I'm reverting to toddler mentality of it's only MY way or I throw a tantrum.
    I'm confused.... 
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    alhaley88
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It looks like you're looking to start fucking drama by starting this thread.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    HeffalumpJBee85lc07
  • On the snarky brides board?!?! 

    ....just because someone doesn't agree with everything you say/suggest doesn't make them mean. Get over yourself.

    You're getting "backlash" and "negativity" because you spent probably zero time perusing the boards before you posted the millionth "my bridesmaids suck wahh" thread.

    Your bridesmaids don't suck. You do, for expecting them to do anything beyond stand next to you in a dress, sober, on your wedding day. They aren't here to honor YOU, you are honoring them by saying "you're so special and important to me that I want you to stand next to me while I make one of the biggest decisions of my life".

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    PrettyGirlLostAmanderson1290
  • Yes, drama central. BYE FELICIA
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    randomslove
  • LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Whenever anyone misuses "Literally", it makes me think of The Oatmeal:


    mikenbergerclimbingwife[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • alexandducky412alexandducky412 Jacksonville, NC member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    No, but this thread is.

    No one's gonna kiss your ass and validate you just because you want them to. You ask for opinions, you get them all. I got told to grow up on a thread here, and I didn't get mad. I asked myself if I was being just as immature as the other parties. I was also told an idea I had was fucking stupid, and again, didn't get mad. I might think something is a brilliant idea, but on the outside (like a guest would see it) it's stupid and pointless, and me choosing to go along with it anyway is accepting that risk.

    If you don't like getting negative feedback, your options are:
    1. Get over it. Negative feedback and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive; someone could be telling you an idea is bad because someone might have had to sit through a similar situation and it sucked for them, or they made the mistake and don't want you to deal with the fallout they did. Sometimes these come with foul language because that's how people speak. I swear like a sailor (for good reason. I'm in the military) and sometimes the use of swearwords is not indicative of an insult.

    2. Hire a yes-man.
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    PrettyGirlLostlc07
  • No, but this thread is.

    No one's gonna kiss your ass and validate you just because you want them to. You ask for opinions, you get them all. I got told to grow up on a thread here, and I didn't get mad. I asked myself if I was being just as immature as the other parties. I was also told an idea I had was fucking stupid, and again, didn't get mad. I might think something is a brilliant idea, but on the outside (like a guest would see it) it's stupid and pointless, and me choosing to go along with it anyway is accepting that risk.

    If you don't like getting negative feedback, your options are:
    1. Get over it. Negative feedback and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive; someone could be telling you an idea is bad because someone might have had to sit through a similar situation and it sucked for them, or they made the mistake and don't want you to deal with the fallout they did. Sometimes these come with foul language because that's how people speak. I swear like a sailor (for good reason. I'm in the military) and sometimes the use of swearwords is not indicative of an insult.

    2. Hire a yes-man.
    Or, people could simply be adults and offer their opinions in a mature and constructive way instead of telling people things like "grow up" or "your idea is fucking stupid." There is a certain way to offer a differing opinion, you know. Some people just haven't figured that out.
    canadianteacher


  • No, but this thread is.

    No one's gonna kiss your ass and validate you just because you want them to. You ask for opinions, you get them all. I got told to grow up on a thread here, and I didn't get mad. I asked myself if I was being just as immature as the other parties. I was also told an idea I had was fucking stupid, and again, didn't get mad. I might think something is a brilliant idea, but on the outside (like a guest would see it) it's stupid and pointless, and me choosing to go along with it anyway is accepting that risk.

    If you don't like getting negative feedback, your options are:
    1. Get over it. Negative feedback and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive; someone could be telling you an idea is bad because someone might have had to sit through a similar situation and it sucked for them, or they made the mistake and don't want you to deal with the fallout they did. Sometimes these come with foul language because that's how people speak. I swear like a sailor (for good reason. I'm in the military) and sometimes the use of swearwords is not indicative of an insult.

    2. Hire a yes-man.

    Or, people could simply be adults and offer their opinions in a mature and constructive way instead of telling people things like "grow up" or "your idea is fucking stupid." There is a certain way to offer a differing opinion, you know. Some people just haven't figured that out.


    Welcome to the Snarky board! First thing, look up what "snark" is and don't bitch about it on a board just for it!
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • snowywintersnowywinter member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2015
    This thread was in reference to the board in general, not just the Snark board. That was made obvious numerous times. Maybe figure that out before you bitch about me bitching? Just a thought.
  • This thread was in reference to the board in general, not just the Snark board. That was made obvious numerous times. Maybe figure that out before you bitch about me bitching? Just a thought.
    There are plenty of wedding boards where everyone is required to praise each other and say nothing that even smacks of criticism, all free for you to join. The Knot is not one of those boards.


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    [Deleted User]
  • No, but this thread is.

    No one's gonna kiss your ass and validate you just because you want them to. You ask for opinions, you get them all. I got told to grow up on a thread here, and I didn't get mad. I asked myself if I was being just as immature as the other parties. I was also told an idea I had was fucking stupid, and again, didn't get mad. I might think something is a brilliant idea, but on the outside (like a guest would see it) it's stupid and pointless, and me choosing to go along with it anyway is accepting that risk.

    If you don't like getting negative feedback, your options are:
    1. Get over it. Negative feedback and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive; someone could be telling you an idea is bad because someone might have had to sit through a similar situation and it sucked for them, or they made the mistake and don't want you to deal with the fallout they did. Sometimes these come with foul language because that's how people speak. I swear like a sailor (for good reason. I'm in the military) and sometimes the use of swearwords is not indicative of an insult.

    2. Hire a yes-man.
    Or, people could simply be adults and offer their opinions in a mature and constructive way instead of telling people things like "grow up" or "your idea is fucking stupid." There is a certain way to offer a differing opinion, you know. Some people just haven't figured that out.
    Yet on another board you told me to go look something up in a dictionary.   So is it OK to be snarky to others but not snark at others?   Please let me know what rules we should be following. 
    BouxRadleyohannabellePrettyGirlLostlc07
  • I've seen some negativity on here too... it's discouraging :( You ask a simple question and the response is basically "what a stupid thing to ask." I really hope that isn't status quo on here, and that I've just had the misfortune of coming across such posts by chance.
    snowywinterjustsuzie[Deleted User]canadianteacher
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