To smash or not to smash

Knottie80779227 · July 2015

What's everyone's opinions on the bride and groom cake cutting ceremony, particularly the part where more often than not I've been to weddings where the bride and groom take a jab at smashing the cake into their loved one's mouth rather than delicately feeding them a bite.

We've decided to have some fun with cake samples and practice our "smash" to decide what level we are most comfortable with. The last wedding I was at the bride ended up with strawberry filling all over the top of her white dress, and that's not something I'm comfortable with. However, I don't want to disappoint our guests and skip the tradition if it's still the norm (is it?).

Maggie0829 · July 2015

Knottie80779227 said:

What's everyone's opinions on the bride and groom cake cutting ceremony, particularly the part where more often than not I've been to weddings where the bride and groom take a jab at smashing the cake into their loved one's mouth rather than delicately feeding them a bite.

We've decided to have some fun with cake samples and practice our "smash" to decide what level we are most comfortable with. The last wedding I was at the bride ended up with strawberry filling all over the top of her white dress, and that's not something I'm comfortable with. However, I don't want to disappoint our guests and skip the tradition if it's still the norm (is it?).

I detest when the couple smashes cake in each others faces. To me it is just so tacky. It is not cute or funny. Instead it is two grown adults, most likely in the fanciest clothes they will ever wear, smashing cake in each others faces because why? When I do see it happen I roll my eyes big time.

And as someone who spent good money on a beautiful dress, fabulous makeup and amazing hair I sure as hell didn't want that ruined because of some ridiculously dumb "tradition."

AddieCake · July 2015

I despise it.

Denise40 · July 2015

Nope not happening here.

climbingsingle · July 2015

Hate it.

justsie · July 2015

Nope, I don't like it. Feeding each other is stupposed to show the first act of providing for each other, as I've been told. Cake smashing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

TheCheeseWench · July 2015

Who on Earth would be disappointed at not seeing such a tacky and disrespectful thing done to one's new spouse? "Hey honey, I love you so much that I'm going to ruin your beautiful makeup and potentially soil your lovely dress in front of all of our friends and family because I think it is funny". It has always baffled me. Why is it funny? Kind of like the garter thing where the groom pulls a bunch of random crap out from under the bride's dress before finally removing the garter (which I also think is a tacky thing to do in front of Grandma).

[Deleted User] · July 2015

We fed the cake to each other like the loving couple we are. If guests were disappointed because we didn't smash, then that's their problem. Yes we did tease each other to give a little bit of a show, but in the end, we fed it to each other nicely. By doing that, we didn't miss a moment of partying the night away because of having to go into the rest room to wash up our faces and I didn't have to fix my makeup.

lovemesomemonster · July 2015

Nope nope nope, can't stand this and will NOT be doing it. Just skip the smash, everyone just wants to eat the cake anyways so let them get down to that!

TrixieJess · July 2015

When I told my FI about this "tradition" (he hasn't been to many weddings) he was appalled. "Who would do that to cake?" Indeed.

Jen4948 · July 2015

Why anyone would waste either a cake that costs them several hundred dollars or a dress and makeup job that's also expensive to do something so immature and stupid, let alone thinks it's "cute" or "funny," I'll never understand.

ShesSoCold · July 2015

I'd be irate is my husband smashed any kind of food on my face on a random Tuesday. It sure as fuck would not have been okay on our wedding day, when I'd gotten my hair and makeup done and was wearing the most expensive piece of clothing I'll ever wear.

Feeding each other cake is supposed to symbolize taking care of each other. If you don't care about the symbolism of it, don't do it at all.

Edited for typo. Edited again to add the paragraphs that my ipad ate.

mrscomposer · July 2015

If anyone is disappointed that you don't do a cake smash, they are extremely immature.

We didn't have cake at our wedding, so it was a moot point (we had tarts instead) - but if we had, and had done a cake cutting, and J had smashed cake in my face? My face would have been the last thing he touched that night.

My sister and her husband did a lovely job of sweetly feeding it to each other. It was very nice.

hellohkb · July 2015

Please don't.

lyndausvi · July 2015

We didn't do it.

I really don't give a shit if any other couple does. That is assuming BOTH parties are on the same page.

MesmrEwe · July 2015

Here's a better idea - save it for the wedding night after you've taken off your dress and his (likely rented) tux... DH didn't even want to do even the tasteful feeding eachother cake (I believe we ended up interlocking hands and feeding ourselves our own slice of not what we ordered but spent a boatload of money on cake).. If his suit is rented it's entirely possible he'll get charged for a damage because of the extra cleaning necessary. Dry cleaning may cost you more because of the stain removal.. And really, the smashing is just tacky and such a waste!!! (especially when you're the guest who has been shorted cake at FAR too many weddings - I'd rather have two pieces than not get ANY cake!)

AddieCake · July 2015

I can't imagine anyone being disappointed that a couple didn't do this. I've actually never seen anyone do it except on TV.

Liatris2010 · July 2015

As far as I am concerned, cake smashing is grounds for an inmediate annulment.

jacques27 · July 2015

The ACTUAL tradition, is feeding each a bit of cake. While I'm sure there a few cultural origin stories, one of them is that it's symbolic of pledging to take care of each other and share with each other.

Not sure why one would want to turn something sweet in symbolism into a disrespectful, passive-aggressive act, nor why anyone would be disappointed in not being able to witness such a childish thing. I guess I never realized that cake smashing was the "norm" since I've never seen it at any wedding I have attended, only from people who attention whore their wedding videos out to shows like America's Funniest Home Videos.

arrrghmatey · July 2015

No, it's not cute. And I'll just leave this right here…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Tq_NdZGu4A

southernbelle0915 · July 2015

Dumb and disrespectful.

onefootinthebayou · July 2015

Nope. It's so "1980-whogivesafuck".

I've been to and in a TON of weddings and I just had my own. We did not do this. My husband, who is camera/AW-shy to begin with, would have been appalled if I had done this to him and I would have hated it. It's so undignified, seems really wasteful (cakes are $$$ these days), and will totally wreck your make-up. Skip it. Not smashing cake is the new smashing cake.

Who knows why this trend started, I'm just glad it's ended!

BlueBirdMB · July 2015

DO NOT SMASH. So tacky. Yuck.

sparklepants41 · July 2015

Don't smash. I've never understood this "tradition" and find it incredibly disgusting.

Knottie45547263 · July 2015

People still do this? So tacky and classless.

pinupbride6189 · July 2015

The tradition of feeding each other the cake, as PP have stated, is to symbolize serving and providing for one another throughout your marriage. To be wasteful with food stands in direct opposition to that.

FI and I have discussed it, and we won't be doing it. We'll feed each other and probably steal a quick kiss, cause you know, we love each other and stuff. We'll also be the 3rd of 3 family weddings in 3 months, and I can almost guarantee you that at least one of the other two will smash the cake, so anyone there just to see food wasted will have gotten to see it a month or two earlier. I can also guarantee that at least one family member will ask why we didn't. I plan on just laughing it off and bean dipping.

WinstonsGirl · August 2015

Liatris2010 said:

As far as I am concerned, cake smashing is grounds for an inmediate annulment.

This is exactly what I told DH would happen if he did that to me. He's a smart man

knottie2b256f5c2ae42586 · August 2015

I think if both couples are on the same page, then it could be funny/fun. Now, if it is ALL OVER my face or gets smeared into my dress, then yeah, that's not cool. But I think something playful is fine. I always thought it would be funny if we feed each other just huge bites of cake.

My FI and I know that we respect each other and will, of course, provide for one another. We don't need to necessarily show that in feeding each other cake.

BUT! I'm not married, nor have I been to many weddings; so, the PPs have more experience in terms of the actual execution than I do.

As for guests being jipped (spelling?) out of cake just because the B&G decided to smash cake into each other's face...that is another story. If smashing cake means a guest will not have cake, then hell no, don't do it.

msuprincess04 · August 2015

I honestly thing this is a very young thing to do. I've seen it once, at a wedding in college, but the wedding I've been to in my late 20s and early 30s have all skipped it.

Newborndoc2008 · August 2015

We did not smash our amazingly delicious cake. We do not waste cake. However at the last wedding we went to, the groom smashed cake on the bride without warning. She broke out in tears on the spot but thankfully only the family and wedding party+dates saw because of how they were turned. It was incredibly awkward.

sunflowersandcurls · August 2015

@Newborndoc2008 that's horrible! I would be in tears too. What did they do to him? I would’ve slapped him.

To smash or not to smash

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