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Destination Weddings Discussions
DW with larger celebration of vows (reception) at home!
HI, ladies! We are planning out DW for July 2016 and will have about 50 guests join us for a cruise. We are also planning a larger celebration of vows or reception (title TBD) back at home after the honeymoon for those who couldn't join us on the cruise. What is the etiquette on inviting people to it that weren't invited to the wedding? Must we invite them to the wedding? For example, we have some employees that we simply couldn't have all of them off to come to the wedding but would want at the local celebration.
Also, how far in advance would you send these invites? I feel like they would need different STD then the wedding.
Thanks!
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Re: DW with larger celebration of vows (reception) at home!
Since you are inviting people 50 people to attend your wedding, the most appropriate way to host a celebration afterwards is to hold a "celebration of marriage" party, or At Home Reception, upon return. AHR's are meant for those that were invited to the DW, but could not attend. Etiquette wise, it's only appropriate to invite people who were NOT invited to the wedding if the wedding itself was very small and intimate (couple only or immediately family/super close friends only). So, you should be inviting everyone you want at the AHR to the wedding.
AHRs are separate events and should have separate invitations that go out using the same timeline guidelines as a wedding or other event that requires RSVPs. (6-8 weeks in advance). STDs are not really recommended or necessary for the party, but are recommended for the actual wedding. If it were me, I'd plan an AHR well after the wedding itself, so you can return from the wedding, get settled and then send out the invites. To me, it would be strange to get an invite in the mail celebrating a marriage that hasn't happened yet.
Your party at home will not be your wedding reception. Please do not try to make it one. It will simply be a party for you to see your friends and to show off your wedding and honeymoon photos. No wedding dress. No wedding traditions.
The party at home is just a party, not related to your wedding. It is not your wedding reception.
How is inviting someone to a wedding on a cruise any different than inviting someone to a wedding in another country - like an AI or something?
I personally think both are silly anyway, but I guess I'm missing why the cruise is more rude?
There are two kinds of cruise weddings. Most have the ceremony while the ship is docked. The guests travel to the ship, attend the ceremony and reception while the ship is in port, then return home. There is no cost to the guests to enter the ship and attend the wedding.
The second kind of cruise wedding was invented by the $$ cruise industry. The wedding takes place while the ship is at sea, so all guests must pay for the cost of their cruise. They have no choice. They are paying thousands off dollars on a cruise which they did not choose, and must stay on that cruise for perhaps a week. When you invite guests to a wedding, you invite them for one day - your wedding day! Not a week.
The cruise ships love this, because they get $$$ from every "guest". Many ships have even built small chapels for the ceremony. Some lines offer free cruise fare for the bride and groom if they can persuade 10 couples to sign up on the cruise! Ugh!
At a destination wedding, your guests should be responsible for their own transportation to the ceremony and for a night or two at their hotel - not for the cost of a cruise! The only proper way to be married at sea is to have a small, intimate ceremony with immediate family only, all of whom are being paid for by the host.
hmm...I guess I can see that.
Anyway - I think both are quite rude actually - but we do always say that an invitation is not a summons, so people don't have to go if they'd rather not go on that particular cruise.
Wait.. does anyone know the laws anymore?? Last I knew you COUDLN"T get married at sea. Because you are in foreign waters. They say it's AT sea but it really is docked or something else but can't remember. Just curious is all.
I don't know anything about cruising since I get horribly sea sick, but I do know that "knowing the laws" seems to be a very low priority for a lot of DW couples. I had a legally binding DW because it was important to me to do so, but a lot of DW couples put their vision over the law and "just sign the papers" at home.
http://www.princess.com/learn/cruise-gifts-celebrations/romance/wedding-cruises/