Dear Prudence,
My husband’s sister is a mess. She’s 40 and can’t hold a job for more than a few months. She lives beyond her means, and my in-laws encourage this behavior by subsidizing her entire life. The in-laws have a substantial amount of money, and I’ve never thought it was my business how they spent it. However, as they are nearing the end of their lives, they’ve told us that they have been keeping track of how much money they have given her over the years and will be deducting it from her share of the will! I think this is a terrible idea, one that will cause all sorts of hurt feelings. We don’t need the extra cash, and would be happy if everything is divided 50/50 (or they can give it all to charity, I don’t care)! How do we deal with the inevitable fallout from this? We’ve told the in-laws to make the inheritance equal, but they have decided they want to prove a point.