Ceremony at one location, Reception at another location

nhultberg461 · August 2015

Ok, so my FI and have found a spot for our ceremony but it is limited on the amount of people that it can hold for an outside service.

The location for our reception is a different story.

Ceremony site is within walking distance to the reception site too.

FI and I want a small outdoor ceremony but would like a big "party" afterwards.

We know that we are going to hurt people's feelings about not being at the ceremony but costs is an issue for us as well.

How can we word our invites to those that are not at the ceremony? I'm going to try to see if we can broadcast/view the ceremony at the reception site too.

AddieCake · August 2015

Absolutely unacceptable. Unless you are having a VERY tiny ceremony, it is wholly inappropriate to invite people to just the reception.

luckya23 · August 2015

Invitations are typically written for the ceremony, and then the reception information is given separately.

Having two different locations is no big deal, but why would "cost be an issue" having more people at the ceremony? Or is this like a public park and you're trying to get away with no permit, no chairs, etc?

nhultberg461 · August 2015

The ceremony site only allows so many people where the reception site is much bigger

novella1186 · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

Ok, so my FI and have found a spot for our ceremony but it is limited on the amount of people that it can hold for an outside service.
The location for our reception is a different story.
Ceremony site is within walking distance to the reception site too.
FI and I want a small outdoor ceremony but would like a big "party" afterwards.
We know that we are going to hurt people's feelings about not being at the ceremony but costs is an issue for us as well.
How can we word our invites to those that are not at the ceremony? I'm going to try to see if we can broadcast/view the ceremony at the reception site too.

I think you should pick a different ceremony site to accommodate all your guests

Or keep your reception small and only invite those who were invited to the ceremony. I would be a bit hurt if I was invited to just the party and not the actual wedding (this has actually happened to my H and I before; we received an invitation for an "after party" but not the ceremony, so we did not attend. We found it rather rude.)

beachyone15 · August 2015

Well then this solves your problem doesn't it? Your FI was going back on forth on how many people to invite. Now you can tell him that the ceremony only accommodates (insert number here) and that's how many people you can invite to both the ceremony and reception. Done and done.

luckya23 · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

The ceremony site only allows so many people where the reception site is much bigger

Then the ceremony site isn't going to work. I had to nix one place too because it would have been too crowded with our original guest list.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

Im going to call our reception site and see if they have an outside area we can use

luckya23 · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

Im going to call our reception site and see if they have an outside area we can use

As someone who had an outdoor wedding in a torrential downpour and unseasonably cold temperatures, I can tell you that the "outdoor vision" is not all it's cracked up to be!!

There is also no rule that the ceremony has to be within walking distance to the reception, so you can cast your net a bit wider if necessary.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

Our weather is usually nice in April I'd rather walk then have to drive to another location

beachyone15 · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

Our weather is usually nice in April I'd rather walk then have to drive to another location

But what do you think your guests would prefer? You should know by now after having spent time on TK that just because you "usually" have nice weather isn't a guarantee. Just make sure you have a back-up plan.

luckya23 · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

Our weather is usually nice in April I'd rather walk then have to drive to another location

Well why didn't I think of having my wedding in a "usually nice" month? Darn.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

We did consider our guests when we moved our date up from June when it could reach 100 or higher here

OliveOilsMom · August 2015

Also, if you are trying to save money, the expensive part is the party. And that is where you want to have the larger crowd. So how is that saving you money?

beachyone15 · August 2015

OliveOilsMom said:

Also, if you are trying to save money, the expensive part is the party. And that is where you want to have the larger crowd. So how is that saving you money?

Hey, hey, there's no room for logic here!

AddieCake · August 2015

I would not want to walk to another location unless that other location was on the same property.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

The reception site has an amphitheater right outside where the ballrooms are. The original ceremony site is around the corner from the reception site.
I'm trying to explain to him it costs more for more people too.
As much as I don't want to I might have to just put my foot down and say this is our budget which he agreed to and this is our guest list and that's it and then go from there.
The back and forth is frustrating and giving me a headache

KatWAG · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

Ok, so my FI and have found a spot for our ceremony but it is limited on the amount of people that it can hold for an outside service.
The location for our reception is a different story.
Ceremony site is within walking distance to the reception site too.
FI and I want a small outdoor ceremony but would like a big "party" afterwards.
We know that we are going to hurt people's feelings about not being at the ceremony but costs is an issue for us as well.
How can we word our invites to those that are not at the ceremony? I'm going to try to see if we can broadcast/view the ceremony at the reception site too.

This is a bad idea. A wedding is one event and everyone needs to be invited to the full event. Call the reception location and see if you can get married there.

The reception is the most expensive part so you wont be saving any money.

I thought you said is previous threads that your fi wanted to keep the guest list down?

And why are you okay with hurting your guests feelings?

emmaaa · August 2015

You need to decide the amount of people on your guest list. Then you need to find a ceremony and reception venue that is large enough to accommodate those guests. Anyone invited to the reception must also be invited to the ceremony since the reception is to thank the guests for witnessing your marriage. Those are the criteria.

If you do have it somewhere that is walking distance between the two, you need to provide some type of shuttles in case of rain or someone has trouble walking. Golf carts with sides on it should suffice.

No matter how good the weather normally is in your area that time of year, you also need to plan for a back up rain plan, just in case.

ginnybinny17 · August 2015

Broadcasting the ceremony? Seriously?

lyndausvi · August 2015

I'm generally the only one who okay's small ceremonies and larger receptions. I've been to a few and there were no big deal to me. I don't have to see the ceremony in order to still celebrate. I couldn't even tell you who was at my ceremony and it was at the same place. The audience was a blur to me. It could have been empty and I would not have cared.

That said, even I think your plan is a little fucked up.

beachyone15 · August 2015

beachyone15 said:

Well then this solves your problem doesn't it? Your FI was going back on forth on how many people to invite. Now you can tell him that the ceremony only accommodates (insert number here) and that's how many people you can invite to both the ceremony and reception. Done and done.

I'm going to re-quote myself for a few reasons:

You are concerned about the budget
Your FI can't decide if he wants a large or small amount of guests
You are looking at the same location for ceremony and reception

I'm not understanding why you don't stick with the smaller number of guests that you originally planned for and have everything at the same location.

PPs have given you great feedback. This is getting maddening.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

No I'm listening to all the advice and have decided that our budget is set and our guest will be this

lyndausvi · August 2015

The most expensive part of a wedding is the reception. Not sure how cutting the ceremony list helps in that?

Well I guess if it means you need a new ceremony place. In that case, I would just have the ceremony at the reception location.

Jen4948 · August 2015

I'd move your ceremony to the reception site and invite everyone you are planning to invite to the reception to the ceremony as well.

KatWAG · August 2015

nhultberg461 said:

No I'm listening to all the advice and have decided that our budget is set and our guest will be this

@nhultbreg461 you have been around long enough to know how to use the quote button.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

KatWAG said:

nhultberg461 said:

No I'm listening to all the advice and have decided that our budget is set and our guest will be this

@nhultbreg461 you have been around long enough to know how to use the quote button.

I was using my phone most of the time, and sometimes that button works, and sometimes my phone screws up and doesn't quote.

MairePoppy · August 2015

lyndausvi said:

I'm generally the only one who okay's small ceremonies and larger receptions. I've been to a few and there were no big deal to me. I don't have to see the ceremony in order to still celebrate. I couldn't even tell you who was at my ceremony and it was at the same place. The audience was a blur to me. It could have been empty and I would not have cared.

That said, even I think your plan is a little fucked up.

I'm ok with a small ceremony and larger reception. But you should draw a clear line - wp and family members - or you will be picking and choosing which guests are important enough to be invited to the ceremony. Hurting feeling should never be acceptable to the B & G.

nhultberg461 - it would just be easier, all around, to have your ceremony at your recpetion venue, everyone can attend and you have built in weather protection. If you end up having your ceremony inside, you can still have outdoor photos.

SP29 · August 2015

Noooo! This is a tiered reception- never acceptable.

I'm OK with a private ceremony and then larger reception after, but not a "we only have space for 50 at the ceremony and then will invite 100 to the reception".

The ceremony is important to me- THAT is the marriage. If I were one of your guests who didn't make the cut, sure I'd still come to your reception, but I'd be upset/ a little miffed about it.

Either your ceremony and reception guest list is set for the space your ceremony site can accommodate, or you find a new ceremony venue. If you *want* a larger reception, then I would suggest having your ceremony at the reception site= invite whom you want, no travel needed!

The general process for wedding plan is A) Determine your budget

Determine how many people you'd like to invite C) Find a venue that fits your budget and guest list wishes.

CMGragain · August 2015

1. Set your budget.
2. Write up your guest list.
(Since this is not a church wedding, you don't need to check with them.)
3. Find a venue that fits both numbers 1 and 2. If it is too small for all of your guests, then you cannot use it. No argument!

Your guests are more important than your wedding vision.

nhultberg461 · August 2015

CMGragain said:

1. Set your budget.
2. Write up your guest list.
(Since this is not a church wedding, you don't need to check with them.)
3. Find a venue that fits both numbers 1 and 2. If it is too small for all of your guests, then you cannot use it. No argument!

Your guests are more important than your wedding vision.

Budget is set

We agreed to less than 100.

I waiting for a call back from the location of the reception, they have an outside area, that would fit everyone.

Ceremony at one location, Reception at another location

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