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Chit Chat
loveislouder
member
Calling All Knottie Mamas
in Chit Chat
Hi guys,
I have questions for ya'll. H and I are in no way ready for babies, but we enjoy talking about our lives when we do have them, and we talk about names we like and how we may or may not raise them. My girlfriend was telling me this is super weird. She said it's like planning a wedding before you're engaged (which I know isn't a thing because if you're planning a wedding, you're engaged).
What did you guys do? Did you talk names before the baby came around?
I justify it to myself by thinking we're planning for our hypothetical future. If we have babies, this is what we might name them, how we might raise them.
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Re: Calling All Knottie Mamas
Nothing wrong with thinking about names or how you might raise kids. Actually that might be important to discuss before actually having them -whether it is being adamant about only one child or wanting 10, or how you would raise the kid (religion, schooling, spanking or no, etc) some of that is important to think about before the emotions of a kid on the way factor in.
H for a long time has been saying if we had a boy he wants his first name to be the kid's middle name since that how it is with him and his dad. I don't necessarily agree with it but there's nothing wrong with discussing it.
Before we had really had any conversations about kids and we were only dating, H declared in front of his family that if we have a boy it will be a Third, since H is a Jr. I was like, thanks for discussing it with me first!
I'm not a fan of having a Third, which I have said to him, but I don't know if he believes me. H & my dad have the same first name. So I'm hoping that I can convince H to do his first name and my dad's middle name, which combines to be T.J., which we would call our hypothetical son.
This is a good point. A better comparison would be talking about marriage before you're engaged - a bad way would be planning the baby shower before you're pregnant (1 day event).
FI is alot more ready mentally than I am (I think this being because he doesn't actually have to go through the whole pregnancy bit), and he often makes comments about how cute I'll be when I am pregnant or how fun an activity would be with a child.
Not strange at all in fact I think its normal to talk about kids before you have them. Some couples even talked about having kids before getting married. It should be a topic of conversation BEFORE it happens. I mean you want to make sure you're on the same page.
ETA: When F.I. and I were casually dating he mentioned he always wanted his first kid to be named after his mom or dad. We also talked about how many kids we wanted and where we wanted to be in life 5 years from now.
We won't have "real" conversations until the kid's in utero.
OP - I don't think you need to be knocked up to talk names. And I don't think it's comparable to planning a wedding when you're not engaged.
Totally agree with @TrixieJess about picking non-cutesy names. They're only little for a super short portion of their lives.