I'm keeping a spreadsheet of names that I like and names DH likes. Too often I hear something and think, oh that's cute- and I'll forget it later. For the record, we're thinking of TTC starting this fall/winter.
The downside of having kids in your 30s (if at all) is having friends who already took all the good names! For example, I love the name Jack. DH's best friend and his wife named their second child Jackson just recently. When they said the name, I said I was bummed because it's my favorite name and now I can't use it. They laughed and said they don't care. LOL- that's nice of them. DH and I can agree on a few girls' names but haven't agreed on a single boy's name yet.
But yeah, agree with the others who say thinking of baby names this early is normal and not akin to planning a wedding before being engaged.
I like the articles that talk about the psychology of names. Short, easy to pronounce, "traditional" names are more likely to ensure your child's success, apparently.
I don't think it's weird at all. I think it's kind of good you're talking about the child rearing part well before you actually are having the kid, as I think if you didn't mesh on how to raise your joint offspring, then that could create some tension/issues later in your marriage. We talked about a lot of that stuff well before we were even engaged.
FI and I have talked about names, he has some pretty specific ones he likes a lot. The girl name is the name of my cousin's ex wife and my uncle's ex wife (two separate women). We plan on TTC right after the wedding so we should probably start seriously thinking about the names.
I think thats actually a really important thing to talk about (more the raising vs names) before you're actually pregnant. Being on the same page as far as kids go seems important IMO
I'm not comfortable venturing over to The Bump so thanks for dealing with my weird questions
That's where I'm coming from - raising is a child is RAISING a child. Like, they are depending on us to keep them alive. We've already discussed that we won't contradict the other in front of them discipline-wise, and how H wants them to go to Church and learn Catechism (sp?) and I'm fine with that.
We know we'd prefer either having no children or 2 (or more) children because that way if both of us are in a horrible accident or something, that one child would always have someone.
Not going to lie, I really am enjoying seeing names I think are cute.
Just remember that names that YOU think are cute are names that your future children will have to put on a resume someday.
My step-mother told me when we were having difficulty picking our son's name, to stand at the back door and call the names we liked 20x each. Whichever one didn't drive us insane, pick that one!
SO. MUCH. THIS. I see way too many cutesy names that could never be taken seriously as an adult. Mia-Bella Stellalynn Johnson is not an adult name. Think about your kids further out than pink tutus, people (general people).
As someone who works in news, I see the most out-there names. Wynnchester, Bradleigh, Meikayla, Bryttni, Taylence. Just no. Don't do that to your kid.
I also write down names we can agree on because they are few and far between. We have one boy name but no girl names yet that we agree on.
I keep a list on my phone for when I think of one I like.
Also, please when you (general you) name your kids use the proper spelling! Spechyul spellings mean that your (general) child will go their whole life getting their name pronounced and/or spelled wrong.
OP, I think it would be rather odd if you two didn't talk about having children and how your lives would be affected before taking the plunge. Having a child is a very serious, life changing event, and not to be done lightly. As for future baby names - eh, why not?
I agree with PPs here. I think it is important to talk about children before you have them. DH and I talked about children before we were even engaged because it was something important to us and we wanted to be on the same page when it came to important topics. We agreed on whether we wanted kids or not, how many and how that may change, how we plan to raise and discipline our kids, and how we want to be a team when it comes to parenting.
We have names picked out for boys and girls and decided that we want them to be classic names and for them to go by their first names only.
We aren't TTC yet, maybe in a few months. But this was something important to us that we talked about a while ago.
I think it's important to talk about your life goals with any potential life partner. That doesn't mean that you bring up your desire to have kids on the first date but as a relationship progresses, you need to make sure you're on the same page. Sometimes the fantasy part is just a fun way to bond. We had great conversations on how cute things would be. Of course that all went out the window once our kids developed their own personalities but I think that's all a normal thing.
And yes, PLEASE don't do a cute name! Our friends named their daughter Abbie because that's what they were going to call her. If only they knew nicknames existed...
I think it's important to talk about your life goals with any potential life partner. That doesn't mean that you bring up your desire to have kids on the first date but as a relationship progresses, you need to make sure you're on the same page. Sometimes the fantasy part is just a fun way to bond. We had great conversations on how cute things would be. Of course that all went out the window once our kids developed their own personalities but I think that's all a normal thing.
And yes, PLEASE don't do a cute name! Our friends named their daughter Abbie because that's what they were going to call her. If only they knew nicknames existed...
My baby girl name is Kate. Not Kathryn or Katelyn. So I understand not liking Abigail but loving Abbie. Now if she spelled it Ahbeyeghe, then I would have a problem with it.
So what does everyone think about names that are very pop culture-esque? Like, I do some volunteering with Girl Guides and I have 3 girls named Hermione.
We like Elena but have been told it's from 50 Shades. Neither of us have read 50 Shades. Would you judge?
So what does everyone think about names that are very pop culture-esque? Like, I do some volunteering with Girl Guides and I have 3 girls named Hermione.
We like Elena but have been told it's from 50 Shades. Neither of us have read 50 Shades. Would you judge?
Elena is also a Vampire Diaries character.
I would judge if you spelled it in a weird way. I would be more concerned that they would be in the same class as 3 other Elenas.
So what does everyone think about names that are very pop culture-esque? Like, I do some volunteering with Girl Guides and I have 3 girls named Hermione.
We like Elena but have been told it's from 50 Shades. Neither of us have read 50 Shades. Would you judge?
Elena is also a Vampire Diaries character.
I would judge if you spelled it in a weird way. I would be more concerned that they would be in the same class as 3 other Elenas.
I wouldn't weird spell my kids name. There was a girl in my class named Karie. Her Dad spelled it Kaire. Our teachers spelled it Keri. Everyone else spelled it Carrie. It wasn't... I don't want to say it wasn't cool, but that must have sucked for her.
We're not ready for kids yet, but we have talked about kids many times. We already know names we like {legit full version with middle names} Mainly because my husband was dead set on a certain family name, which was fine with me because ironically it is a popular name in my family. {both sides}
My biggest concern is one of the names we're talking about is very popular right now .... so half the class will have same name. Guh
So what does everyone think about names that are very pop culture-esque? Like, I do some volunteering with Girl Guides and I have 3 girls named Hermione.
We like Elena but have been told it's from 50 Shades. Neither of us have read 50 Shades. Would you judge?
Elena is also a Vampire Diaries character.
I would judge if you spelled it in a weird way. I would be more concerned that they would be in the same class as 3 other Elenas.
I know an absolutely dreadful woman named Elena. . . . my profession has also ruined a ton of names for me.
DH and I are in the camp of giving our kids real names, that are not often used. I don't want them to be one of seven in their class. Think of the Jennifers of our generation. You were in school with Jennifer S, Jennifer K, Jennifer L, and Jennifer Y. It was absurd!
A good friend used the car test when deciding his son's name. Any names he liked, he'd shout them into the back of the car when he was driving around. He nixed a few that way.
I'm currently obsessed with the name Beau if our baby in utero turns out to be a boy. I recently was introduced to an adult Beau a month or so ago and it made me love the name even more!
So what does everyone think about names that are very pop culture-esque? Like, I do some volunteering with Girl Guides and I have 3 girls named Hermione.
We like Elena but have been told it's from 50 Shades. Neither of us have read 50 Shades. Would you judge?
What? No. I would not judge. Lots of people are named Elena. It's not like it's a 50 shades thing. Plus by the time you get pregnant, have the kid, etc... people may have forgotten all about that book.
To the pop-culture question: Elena is a, well, normal name. So what if it regains popularity after a smutty book? Hermoine, being so uncommon and nontraditional (at least in the States) would raise my eyebrows.
My friend named her daughter Charlotte in part because she loves the name, but also in part because she loves S&TC. Now that there's a little Princess Charlotte, surely the name will regain popularity. No biggie; it's a normal, traditional name.
My pop-culture name of choice is Jagger, as in Mick Jagger (we've discussed it as a middle name in a joking, but maybe not so joking manner) but some celebrity just named their kid that too. If we did that I can bet my bottom dollar my kid would refuse to tell anyone their middle name, haha.
To the pop-culture question: Elena is a, well, normal name. So what if it regains popularity after a smutty book? Hermoine, being so uncommon and nontraditional (at least in the States) would raise my eyebrows.
My friend named her daughter Charlotte in part because she loves the name, but also in part because she loves S&TC. Now that there's a little Princess Charlotte, surely the name will regain popularity. No biggie; it's a normal, traditional name.
My pop-culture name of choice is Jagger, as in Mick Jagger (we've discussed it as a middle name in a joking, but maybe not so joking manner) but some celebrity just named their kid that too. If we did that I can bet my bottom dollar my kid would refuse to tell anyone their middle name, haha.
Everyone should always be named after Mick Jagger.
We talked about having kids, how many, some names, etc all before we were engaged. I think that's very healthy before marriage. Now that we're married and actually planning on starting to TTC this winter the conversations have developed more into parenting styles and more specifics.
I love names so I'm always seeing or hearing new names and thinking "Oh, what about that". DH is also blessed to have a somewhat unfortunate last name that could be a nightmare if you aren't careful with the first name. So thinking of names takes a lot more work in our case. We haven't started TTC but have names already picked out. Two boy names and one girl name. We're both on agreement with normal names, just names that aren't super common or trendy.
Like others, I just hope none of those have some huge surge in popularity because that's part of what makes me love them!
How early do you think you would "name" the kid if you were pregnant? I only have 1 name I'm definitely set on, so personally I would be leery to start using it too early just in case.
My sister has already posted ultrasound photos all over facebook with her name choice... it just seems risky to me.
How early do you think you would "name" the kid if you were pregnant? I only have 1 name I'm definitely set on, so personally I would be leery to start using it too early just in case.
My sister has already posted ultrasound photos all over facebook with her name choice... it just seems risky to me.
So what does everyone think about names that are very pop culture-esque? Like, I do some volunteering with Girl Guides and I have 3 girls named Hermione.
We like Elena but have been told it's from 50 Shades. Neither of us have read 50 Shades. Would you judge?
Elena is also a Vampire Diaries character.
I would judge if you spelled it in a weird way. I would be more concerned that they would be in the same class as 3 other Elenas.
I know an absolutely dreadful woman named Elena. . . . my profession has also ruined a ton of names for me.
DH and I are in the camp of giving our kids real names, that are not often used. I don't want them to be one of seven in their class. Think of the Jennifers of our generation. You were in school with Jennifer S, Jennifer K, Jennifer L, and Jennifer Y. It was absurd!
A good friend used the car test when deciding his son's name. Any names he liked, he'd shout them into the back of the car when he was driving around. He nixed a few that way.
I'm currently obsessed with the name Beau if our baby in utero turns out to be a boy. I recently was introduced to an adult Beau a month or so ago and it made me love the name even more!
As teachers, both myself and my daughter had multiple names "ruined" by student associations.
My kids were born in the 80's. I chose more traditional names and I am happy to say that it wasn't until they hit high school that they came across peers with the same name. Even in that scenario, there was only 1 additional peer with their name. We had named my son William, but went with Will versus Bill as a nickname. The only issue that arose with my daughter is that people often shortened her name to Sue since her name was Susan. Being called Sue made her ragey!
My daughter sees all the current and crazy names at the start of the school year as name tags are plastered on lockers. It really helps her know which names to avoid.
When we started a family, I always played with the acronyms their initials might create. I have seen some unfortunate ones!
How early do you think you would "name" the kid if you were pregnant? I only have 1 name I'm definitely set on, so personally I would be leery to start using it too early just in case.
My sister has already posted ultrasound photos all over facebook with her name choice... it just seems risky to me.
Risky how?
That you wouldn't be able to reuse the name if you had a miscarriage.
I'm a fan of having a nickname instead of a definite name. Of course I have a grand plan that if we do have a kid nobody will know the name beforehand anyway, because I don't want to hear opinions!
How early do you think you would "name" the kid if you were pregnant? I only have 1 name I'm definitely set on, so personally I would be leery to start using it too early just in case.
My sister has already posted ultrasound photos all over facebook with her name choice... it just seems risky to me.
Risky how?
That you wouldn't be able to reuse the name if you had a miscarriage.
I'm a fan of having a nickname instead of a definite name. Of course I have a grand plan that if we do have a kid nobody will know the name beforehand anyway, because I don't want to hear opinions!
Honestly if there was a miscarriage and they had already named the baby I find it highly unlikely they would reuse it for an additional child. Same with a nickname. A lot of people use "peanut" for the first and a different nickname for additional children.
Naming a child early in pregnancy isn't an issue with me and it is totally up to the parents when they want to announce.
How early do you think you would "name" the kid if you were pregnant? I only have 1 name I'm definitely set on, so personally I would be leery to start using it too early just in case.
My sister has already posted ultrasound photos all over facebook with her name choice... it just seems risky to me.
Risky how?
That you wouldn't be able to reuse the name if you had a miscarriage.
I'm a fan of having a nickname instead of a definite name. Of course I have a grand plan that if we do have a kid nobody will know the name beforehand anyway, because I don't want to hear opinions!
I would think that even without letting everyone know the name, if you (general you) were thinking about a name for a baby you lost, that name would always be associated with that baby and you wouldn't want to name another child the same name.
Another point about using the proper name before the child is born--- people and their opinions. "But it's not too late-- you don't have to name her Kuhtreenah, you could still name her Gertrude after your grandmother!"
Totally cool to decide on names prior to the birth, but I wouldn't be telling people the name until it's written on the birth certificate and too late for everyone's judgment.
Hell, I am 99.9% sure I don't want kids at all, ever and I've thought about names. Just yesterday I told H that he'd be a good dad. Not that I'm going to make that happen for him, but he would be.
OK. Good. It's not just me! I think naming kids would be fun and I often think about what my kids' names would be. Raising them.... I dunno, I just never had that motherly instinct in my bones like so many do.
Another point about using the proper name before the child is born--- people and their opinions. "But it's not too late-- you don't have to name her Kuhtreenah, you could still name her Gertrude after your grandmother!"
Totally cool to decide on names prior to the birth, but I wouldn't be telling people the name until it's written on the birth certificate and too late for everyone's judgment.
This. I know it's going to drive my mother insane but I don't care, she's going to be the one with the most opinions if I did share anyways! I also don't want to find out the sex though so that would make announcing a name difficult.
Another point about using the proper name before the child is born--- people and their opinions. "But it's not too late-- you don't have to name her Kuhtreenah, you could still name her Gertrude after your grandmother!"
Totally cool to decide on names prior to the birth, but I wouldn't be telling people the name until it's written on the birth certificate and too late for everyone's judgment.
-----preemptive box------
^^^And that is why I also will not be telling names until after the birth. My parents didn't either for that exact reason. People don't judge so much (at least not vocally) after the ink is already dry. On the other hand, I can also see how maybe it would be a good thing if more people told. Maybe the you wouldn't get kids with some of these crazy names because someone would talk some sense into the parents.
We don't plan to name kids in utero at least partly because we don't plan to find out the sex until birth.
I was super disappointed when Princess Charlotte was named that because I really liked the name. Who knows, maybe we'll still use it someday, but I expect it to get super popular.
Re: Calling All Knottie Mamas
I'm due in a few weeks. But I'd take any day now!
***damn boxes***
And Shitina is not a good name.
I also write down names we can agree on because they are few and far between. We have one boy name but no girl names yet that we agree on.
My baby girl name is Kate. Not Kathryn or Katelyn. So I understand not liking Abigail but loving Abbie. Now if she spelled it Ahbeyeghe, then I would have a problem with it.
How early do you think you would "name" the kid if you were pregnant? I only have 1 name I'm definitely set on, so personally I would be leery to start using it too early just in case.
My sister has already posted ultrasound photos all over facebook with her name choice... it just seems risky to me.
My kids were born in the 80's. I chose more traditional names and I am happy to say that it wasn't until they hit high school that they came across peers with the same name. Even in that scenario, there was only 1 additional peer with their name. We had named my son William, but went with Will versus Bill as a nickname. The only issue that arose with my daughter is that people often shortened her name to Sue since her name was Susan. Being called Sue made her ragey!
My daughter sees all the current and crazy names at the start of the school year as name tags are plastered on lockers. It really helps her know which names to avoid.
When we started a family, I always played with the acronyms their initials might create. I have seen some unfortunate ones!
That you wouldn't be able to reuse the name if you had a miscarriage.
I'm a fan of having a nickname instead of a definite name. Of course I have a grand plan that if we do have a kid nobody will know the name beforehand anyway, because I don't want to hear opinions!
Honestly if there was a miscarriage and they had already named the baby I find it highly unlikely they would reuse it for an additional child. Same with a nickname. A lot of people use "peanut" for the first and a different nickname for additional children.
^^^And that is why I also will not be telling names until after the birth. My parents didn't either for that exact reason. People don't judge so much (at least not vocally) after the ink is already dry. On the other hand, I can also see how maybe it would be a good thing if more people told. Maybe the you wouldn't get kids with some of these crazy names because someone would talk some sense into the parents.
We don't plan to name kids in utero at least partly because we don't plan to find out the sex until birth.
I was super disappointed when Princess Charlotte was named that because I really liked the name. Who knows, maybe we'll still use it someday, but I expect it to get super popular.