Wedding Etiquette Forum

Letting Guests Know About Transportation Options

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Re: Letting Guests Know About Transportation Options

  • lyndausvi said:
    Just wanted to add that I agree that google maps is not always the best route.  I live a bit out of town and there is an expensive toll road that goes near our house.  Google maps always gives the first set of directions to include this toll road to get to our house.  So someone from out of town wouldn't realize that there are other ways to avoid paying the $5+ in tolls (invoice for it is mailed to their house based on the address tied to their license plate).   It also doesn't always take into account road construction.  
    Been burned on that one road @julieanne912.    2 different agencies charge you too!
    Yup and if you don't pay it, they send you to a collections lawyer and your $5 unpaid toll turns into $100+ real quick!  Also if you're in a rental car (we learned this with my mom) the rental agency will charge you a bunch too for using the toll.   I have the transmitter on my car so I get the lower rate, and when I was working downtown I was raking in about $200 a month in tolls.
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • lyndausvi said:
    Just wanted to add that I agree that google maps is not always the best route.  I live a bit out of town and there is an expensive toll road that goes near our house.  Google maps always gives the first set of directions to include this toll road to get to our house.  So someone from out of town wouldn't realize that there are other ways to avoid paying the $5+ in tolls (invoice for it is mailed to their house based on the address tied to their license plate).   It also doesn't always take into account road construction.  
    Been burned on that one road @julieanne912.    2 different agencies charge you too!
    Yup and if you don't pay it, they send you to a collections lawyer and your $5 unpaid toll turns into $100+ real quick!  Also if you're in a rental car (we learned this with my mom) the rental agency will charge you a bunch too for using the toll.   I have the transmitter on my car so I get the lower rate, and when I was working downtown I was raking in about $200 a month in tolls.
    And sometimes even if you have an authorized automatic toll pass, it doesn't work.  I found that out the hard way this morning.
  • I would appreciate travel info on the website.  However, I am a big girl and could probably figure it out myself, but would think it kind of you to list the options to save me the trouble.   
  • Me and FI have been on some REAL wild goose chases via google maps, so local knowledge is cool to know.
  • Google Maps originally had our street #s flip flopped and it showed we lived on the other end of our street.   Not a huge deal when you think of it on the surface but it puts us at a different exit off the highway which is an extra few minutes in traffic (more when it's shore traffic).   

    So yeah - the internet is a really valuable tool but talking to the locals generally works as an added benefit.

    That's how I adult.  
  • edited August 2015
    lyndausvi said: It's kind-of sad we are considered entitled if we want to get our friends/family's personal opinion about things like parking, the best subway stop, driving route, restaurants, etc.

     I have knotties all the time PM me for advice on the USVI. I've never said  "ever heard of google, yelp, tripadvisor".   No, I answer the question because they are looking for local knowledge. These are not even my real life friends.  Of course, I'm going to help a real life friend or family.

    Google can be helpful (I use it myself fairly often), but it's not the be all end all.  Sometimes I want to know my family/friends opinion instead.
       thisismynickname said: STARMOON44 said: STARMOON44 said: People who are asking you questions now instead of googling it and figuring it out aren't going to look at the website anyway. I'm not going to do a Google search.  I'd rather get the answers straight from the source-whether it's on a website or directly from the couple in some other way.If the couple are already being asked these questions, maybe they're tired of having to answer individually for each person asking.  Putting it on a website and letting whoever know that the answers are all there can save everyone some time.
    You wouldn't google to find the website? I find it super entitled to expect the couple to answer these questions. Adult better! It's not that hard! The bolded really made me laugh. When friends drive to visit me in the city they always ask me where to park! I'm like, WHEREVER YOU CAN FIND SPACE. Adult better, haha.  We do not have parking where I work.   If I said "wherever you can find space" then some people will get their cars towed.  Mostly because parking signs in our area are not clearly marked.  As a local I know, as someone not from the area they might not.   Plus as a local I often can direct them to an area that is often spaces instead of them just going down random streets looking for something. Or I can direct them to the less expensive parking garage that is just a block farther away, but saves them $5 a night.
    Again, do not under-estimate local knowledge.
    -----------------------------EDIT BOXES-------------------------Ok, my "where there's space" answer was flippant. I
    do get irked when the question is asked by people who have visited me before. They're not new to my area. I also really enjoy helping people out and even give strangers directions all the time (since I work by a major train station). If I had to help every helpless friend with parking, this would be my answer: "West of Broadway is all permit packing. Broadway, Diversey, and Belmont have meters. Within these blocks without permit parking you'll have better luck finding a unicorn than finding an available parking space on a Saturday night so you may drive in circles for a half hour. There are a few paid lots of varying prices in the area. If you park further away in the Park you may have luck if you don't mind walking. Don't park on any corner because the paint is probably worn away and you can't tell parking's illegal on corners. And oh yeah, take the fucking train next time because parking near my home is a nightmare."

    That doesn't fit in a text message, which is how the inquiries always come. I'm happy to say "The red line is your best option to Wrigley Field" but telling people where to park is not going to happen. There are actually apps for that. 
    ________________________________


  • edited August 2015
    lyndausvi said:
    It's kind-of sad we are considered entitled if we want to get our friends/family's personal opinion about things like parking, the best subway stop, driving route, restaurants, etc.


     I have knotties all the time PM me for advice on the USVI. I've never said  "ever heard of google, yelp, tripadvisor".   No, I answer the question because they are looking for local knowledge. These are not even my real life friends.  Of course, I'm going to help a real life friend or family.

    Google can be helpful (I use it myself fairly often), but it's not the be all end all.  Sometimes I want to know my family/friends opinion instead.

      
    People who are asking you questions now instead of googling it and figuring it out aren't going to look at the website anyway.

    I'm not going to do a Google search.  I'd rather get the answers straight from the source-whether it's on a website or directly from the couple in some other way.

    If the couple are already being asked these questions, maybe they're tired of having to answer individually for each person asking.  Putting it on a website and letting whoever know that the answers are all there can save everyone some time.

    You wouldn't google to find the website? I find it super entitled to expect the couple to answer these questions. Adult better! It's not that hard!
    The bolded really made me laugh. When friends drive to visit me in the city they always ask me where to park! I'm like, WHEREVER YOU CAN FIND SPACE. Adult better, haha. 
    We do not have parking where I work.   If I said "wherever you can find space" then some people will get their cars towed.  Mostly because parking signs in our area are not clearly marked.  As a local I know, as someone not from the area they might not.   Plus as a local I often can direct them to an area that is often spaces instead of them just going down random streets looking for something. Or I can direct them to the less expensive parking garage that is just a block farther away, but saves them $5 a night.

    Again, do not under-estimate local knowledge.

    -----------------------------EDIT BOXES-------------------------Ok, my "where there's space" answer was flippant. I do get irked when the question is asked by people who have visited me before. They're not new to my area. I also really enjoy helping people out and even give strangers directions all the time (since I work by a major train station). If I had to help every helpless friend with parking, this would be my answer: "West of Broadway is all permit packing. Broadway, Diversey, and Belmont have meters. Within these blocks without permit parking you'll have better luck finding a unicorn than finding an available parking space on a Saturday night so you may drive in circles for a half hour. There are a few paid lots of varying prices in the area. If you park further away in the Park you may have luck if you don't mind walking. Don't park on any corner because the paint is probably worn away and you can't tell parking's illegal on corners. And oh yeah, take the fucking train next time because parking near my home is a nightmare."

    That doesn't fit in a text message, which is how the inquiries always come. I'm happy to say "The red line is your best option to Wrigley Field" but telling people where to park is not going to happen. There are actually apps for that. 
    ----------------------------------------------boxes --------------------------------------------------- Dammit!!!  Stop sending suburbanites to the Red Line!!!  I fucking HATE taking the red line home when the Cubs have home night games.  The Grand station ticket machines have lines backed up to hell and back with suburbanites pretending to be all urban by using public transportation that isn't the Metra.  I bypass all that by using my pre-paid card, then have to deal with everyone in blue and red trying to ride the same two cars of an 8 car train.  THEN, they don't understand getting out of the way of people who are trying to get off or on or move out of the way for others.  They're all to busy having their urban adventure to get their heads out of their asses and think of others.  Anyway, tell people to use Uber because I'm sick of them.  Thanks.
  • @adk19 ROFL. I feel your pain!  I get on the Red at Jackson which is early enough to beat the obnoxiousness and then I studiously ignore everyone. (And I'm not above throwing elbows to get off at Belmont...Politeness is out the window.)
    ________________________________


  • Sorry for bringing this back up. I added all of the information to the website (yea!). I'm still getting personal questions, but I don't mind answering. I also like how everything is listed on the website, so at least I can copy and paste all of the information into the email, along with a personal response as well.

    My new question is that one of my guests just asked if there was a way that people renting cars could identify themselves to people not renting cars, so that guests could carpool with each other.

    I'm honestly not keeping track of who is doing what, and don't mind what choice of transportation people choose. I just listed the options of what is available.

    My gut reaction is that I don't want to keep track of this, and that people will just figure it out on their own...but maybe that is presumptuous.

    Should I be doing something to keep track of who is renting cars so that people can carpool together? Also keep in mind that taking a cab / metro is also an option. The guest also brought up that it would be helpful to know who is renting a cab so that people can jump in cabs together. I just don't even know where to begin if I am supposed to keep track of this for all of our events...

  • now they are just getting ridiculous.      

    Asking for direction is one thing.   Asking you to coordinate car pools is crossing the line.     Let them figure it out yourself.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • PupatellaPupatella member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited August 2015
    Okay thank you!!

    I didn't want to be rude...but I also don't feel like organizing every aspect for them.  Planning the wedding is more than enough.  :)

    ETA - I am providing transportation on the wedding day for all guests. It seems like some are wanting me to provide transportation for the welcome dinner and farewell brunch as well. That is not in the budget. I am providing a full meal for everyone at the welcome dinner and farewell brunch, but people can come and go as they please. The welcome dinner and farewell brunch also aren't mandatory events. It was just more of a courtesy since so many people are traveling in from out of town. I provided transportation options (preferred GPS routes if traveling by car), etc. Sometimes I just feel like no matter what I do, someone is not going to be happy. Such is life.

  • Pupatella said:
    Okay thank you!!

    I didn't want to be rude...but I also don't feel like organizing every aspect for them.  Planning the wedding is more than enough.  :)
    Adults should be able to discuss with others that they know whether they'll be driving, renting a car, ubering, trying to hitch a lift, etc.  "Sorry Aunt, maybe you should call your nephews to see if they are renting cars. I don't have that information."
  • Pupatella said:
    Okay thank you!!

    I didn't want to be rude...but I also don't feel like organizing every aspect for them.  Planning the wedding is more than enough.  :)
    As I said a billion times even with Google maps I'm all about local knowledge on things.     

    Organizing car pools?  Fuck that. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Pupatella said:

    Sorry for bringing this back up. I added all of the information to the website (yea!). I'm still getting personal questions, but I don't mind answering. I also like how everything is listed on the website, so at least I can copy and paste all of the information into the email, along with a personal response as well.


    My new question is that one of my guests just asked if there was a way that people renting cars could identify themselves to people not renting cars, so that guests could carpool with each other.

    I'm honestly not keeping track of who is doing what, and don't mind what choice of transportation people choose. I just listed the options of what is available.

    My gut reaction is that I don't want to keep track of this, and that people will just figure it out on their own...but maybe that is presumptuous.

    Should I be doing something to keep track of who is renting cars so that people can carpool together? Also keep in mind that taking a cab / metro is also an option. The guest also brought up that it would be helpful to know who is renting a cab so that people can jump in cabs together. I just don't even know where to begin if I am supposed to keep track of this for all of our events...
    No. Inviting someone to a wedding, even an OOT one, does not require you to act as their travel agent and/or coordinator.

    Tell anyone who asks for this information that transportation options are listed on your website (if they are), but it's up to each guest to make their own arrangements for local transportation and communication with other guests.

  • Yeah, asking you to coordinate a carpool list is WAY too much!

    You are never required to provide transportation to any event. It is a nice gesture that you are providing it on your wedding day, but that is that!

    Adults need to be responsible for figuring out their own transportation. It's one thing to casually ask, "Hey, what is the best way to get around the city?" but I think it stops there. As said, you are not their travel coordinator. It's also not any of your business how someone else choose to get around the city, so really you *shouldn't* know how everyone is traveling, right?

    Myself, I may ask a question as above of the B&G if I were casually hanging out with them, "So for your wedding, what's the best way to get around..." but I can't imagine asking the B&G leading up to the wedding, "Do you know who I can carpool with? Can you arrange that? Is there transportation to/from the welcome dinner?" Yikes!

    Unless people are asking simple questions, from here on out I would direct them to your wedding website, and let them know that whatever is on there is all you know.
  • SP29 said:
    Yeah, asking you to coordinate a carpool list is WAY too much!

    You are never required to provide transportation to any event. It is a nice gesture that you are providing it on your wedding day, but that is that!

    Adults need to be responsible for figuring out their own transportation. It's one thing to casually ask, "Hey, what is the best way to get around the city?" but I think it stops there. As said, you are not their travel coordinator. It's also not any of your business how someone else choose to get around the city, so really you *shouldn't* know how everyone is traveling, right?

    Myself, I may ask a question as above of the B&G if I were casually hanging out with them, "So for your wedding, what's the best way to get around..." but I can't imagine asking the B&G leading up to the wedding, "Do you know who I can carpool with? Can you arrange that? Is there transportation to/from the welcome dinner?" Yikes!

    Unless people are asking simple questions, from here on out I would direct them to your wedding website, and let them know that whatever is on there is all you know.
    Haha yes!! I thought it was a bit much, but am so glad that you guys confirmed it.  :)

    What's entertaining, is there is one person that keeps asking me about transportation stuff. She even asked me if I could pick her up from the airport...um...sorry but I will be busy doing other things so I won't have time to do that...and her son is attending the wedding, as well as her brothers and sister - can you ask them if you need a ride? It's just quite funny at this point. I'm sure she will figure it out, but I'm guessing someone will end up having to take her everywhere.

  • Pupatella said:
    SP29 said:
    Yeah, asking you to coordinate a carpool list is WAY too much!

    You are never required to provide transportation to any event. It is a nice gesture that you are providing it on your wedding day, but that is that!

    Adults need to be responsible for figuring out their own transportation. It's one thing to casually ask, "Hey, what is the best way to get around the city?" but I think it stops there. As said, you are not their travel coordinator. It's also not any of your business how someone else choose to get around the city, so really you *shouldn't* know how everyone is traveling, right?

    Myself, I may ask a question as above of the B&G if I were casually hanging out with them, "So for your wedding, what's the best way to get around..." but I can't imagine asking the B&G leading up to the wedding, "Do you know who I can carpool with? Can you arrange that? Is there transportation to/from the welcome dinner?" Yikes!

    Unless people are asking simple questions, from here on out I would direct them to your wedding website, and let them know that whatever is on there is all you know.
    Haha yes!! I thought it was a bit much, but am so glad that you guys confirmed it.  :)

    What's entertaining, is there is one person that keeps asking me about transportation stuff. She even asked me if I could pick her up from the airport...um...sorry but I will be busy doing other things so I won't have time to do that...and her son is attending the wedding, as well as her brothers and sister - can you ask them if you need a ride? It's just quite funny at this point. I'm sure she will figure it out, but I'm guessing someone will end up having to take her everywhere.
    Went to a family wedding in another state in May.  We drove, but several cousins and my dad flew in.  We took care of each other but never asked the groom for advice on transportation.  We either drove each other, found someone else to drive those without cars, and once we called an Uber for my dad, I think he made friends with the driver.
  • Pupatella said:
    What's entertaining, is there is one person that keeps asking me about transportation stuff. She even asked me if I could pick her up from the airport...
    See that is crazy to me. I would never think to ask this of the B or G. No.... you will be busy, it's your wedding day ;). Ask someone else, or take a cab. 
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