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tell me stuff about your happiness

Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?

what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?

what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?

Who do you talk to when you aren't happy?

Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)
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Re: tell me stuff about your happiness

  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) 3.

    What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? My job, my health

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? My job.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? Dinner with my husband

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? Sister, friends, husband

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) Yes.  And it's an unfair comparison because people who I think are really happy are sometimes not.

    Truthfully, I don't think I need much to be happy.  Before this past year, I was really happy with my job and our relationship/life.  This year I got really sick and have had lasting effects.  My job is also horrendous.  But, I know exactly what I need to do to get back to that same high level of happiness I had before so my husband and I are both taking steps to move on from our current jobs/city and explore something new.  However I feel now, I'm excited for the future.  Things will get better.
  • I would say this past year has been the most unhappy I have ever been in my life.  Hopefully the next year will be one of the happiest years.
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  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? 8-9.Newly married, financially secure, Stable job 

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? This sounds kinda dumb, but when I don't get enough sleep, I end up having a hard time when things don't go my way, and I get in a funk pretty easily. This week is a prime example of that.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? Pampering myself (like a massage or facial), relaxation time on the weekends

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? Whoever will listen! haha my boss, my H, my two BF's, or my mom. Just depends what it is. I am the type of person that feels better after talking about my struggles/annoyances.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) To a certain extent, yes.  I think about how uptight I can be, and how that trait interferes with my happiness (like a live and let live mentality instead of letting the little things all bother me). I think I would be happier if I was a little less uptight/controlling.
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  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?
    3-5

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?
    Work, finances, certain family stuff

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?
    writing, watching a new movie, refuse to think about the stuff that gets me down (in other words, pretend it doesn't exist for a bit)

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy?
    No one

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)
    Not really. I have certain goals and expectations of myself but I don't think they are made in comparison to others, just what I want from my life. And I know how to get it, but I'm exhausted from trying. I think that's why I'm usually down. I'm just fucking exhausted.
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) Probably a 2-3

    What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? Problems with H.

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? An argument, indecisiveness.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? Good feedback from my professors.  A productive day of counseling.  Hanging out with friends.  Knitting.

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? My friends, my counselor, H if it isn't about him.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) I try not to, but sometimes  it's hard.  This past year has sort of opened my eyes to realizing that even if you think that someone's relationship is great, everyone has their own problems.  A lot of people have opened up to me in the past nine months about such things.  It's difficult when I try to compare my relationship to other peoples', but then I remember that just because things LOOK perfect, doesn't mean that they ARE perfect.  I don't wish this sort of unhappiness or trouble on anyone, don't get me wrong.  But I'm more realistic in my understanding that most marriages aren't perfect.
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  • edited June 2012
    I'll answer the other q's eventually, but what helps you from comparing your life to others? How do you teach yourself to be happy with what you have in the moment?
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  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?  Probably 8ish

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?  Dealing with flood garbage, boring work days, money issues at times

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?  Ben, family, vacations

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? Ben, girlfriends, knotties :)

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)  No
    panther
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?  This is really hard for me to answer.  It's been a whole lot of ups and downs.  Definitely toward the low end of the range.  Primary factor would probably be the end of my 10 year relationship (shocking, I know).

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?  Close friends/family having a rough time, or spending too much time thinking about shiiit that has happened this year.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?  My dog almost always cheers me up.

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy?  BF, my mom, one or two close friends.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)  A lot lately, but I try not to.  It's especially hard watching lots of friends/people my age getting married and having babies when I'm having to start all over again.

    Gee, this was a cheerful post.
    image

    "Smash's balls are the biggest balls of them all." -AATB

  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?
    Probably 7-8.  The wedding was awesome, being married is awesome, but work drug the number down a bit.
    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?
    A shitty day at work.
    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?
    Seeing my dogs, hanging with H.
    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy?
    H
    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)
    No.  I'm selfish and only care about my happiness :)  OK, and H's too.
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    Way cooler." - anna.oskar
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:c2cfa553-8679-4200-891a-f62f0430e097">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would say this past year has been the most unhappy I have ever been in my life.  Hopefully the next year will be one of the happiest years.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    I hope so too Blue. I just keep thinking of all the trouble KW had at first and how well it ended for her, and I'm hoping this goes for you as well.
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  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? 8

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? Marriage problems school issues

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? My internship getting along with H

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? My mom or BFFs

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)No I don't
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:c2cfa553-8679-4200-891a-f62f0430e097">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would say this past year has been the most unhappy I have ever been in my life.  Hopefully the next year will be one of the happiest years.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
    Awww Blue. I am sorry darling. I hope next year will be great for you. Last year was the worst year of my life and this yr is a lot better. There is hope!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:2326d007-4cd7-44b8-a38c-bc98291e005f">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll answer the other q's eventually, <strong><u>but what helps you from comparing your life to others?</u></strong> How do you teach yourself to be happy with what you have in the moment?
    Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

    My unhappyness is based on the fact that I cant have a child.  So if I compared myself to every.single.pregnant person out there, I would probably be suicidal.

    I just look at every other aspect of my life and how fortunate we are.  We have a great life, wonderful families, etc.  Outside of not being able to have kids, we really do have a great life.  Not a lot of people can say that.  So we are really lucky in a lot of ways.
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  • I just find it to be a waste of time to compare my life to others, jenna.  A couple weeks ago I was taking a walk with my sister and we went by a house that has my "dream deck" on it, lol.  Someday, I want Ben and I to have a great house, with a big ass deck.  But we can't do it right now.  And my sis and I talked about how it can be frustrating to not have things that you want, or have to wait for things - but ultimately when I do start feeling that way, I have to take a step back and look around at all the things I do have.  I have a job, I have an amazing husband who loves me, I have a goofy little dog who makes our life fun, we have cars, we have a nice townhouse, we have great families, we have opportunities to go on vacations and take time off, etc.  I mean, sure, we all want more.  But focusing on the blessings I do have makes me feel happy, especially when I know that many people are not as lucky.
    panther
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? 8-9

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? My son's attitude. He's is making me want to punch him right now, and I thought he was doing so well. I had to call my ex and have a talk with him about it last night, hopefully he'll be able to talk some sense into him.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? My H, and my cat (I know sounds corny).

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? My Mom, H depending on the topic.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) No. I feel I'm responsible for my own happiness, so there is no sense comparing myself to others. My life is great,for the most part, so I am grateful.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:089df5a2-ceeb-4cfb-bbd1-be6cc2d2d9f0">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, Smash brings up a good point. Moose defniitely always puts me in a better mood. Re: comparing yourselves to others. I'll kind of piggyback on what Bay was describing. I used to envy SIL's life, probably way more than I care to admit, because she seemed to have all the things I wanted. Now I see her struggling with certain things that make me realize it wasn't all hunky dory. So maybe just humanizing the people you envy has helped?
    Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]
    I'm really glad you got what I was saying.  I wasn't trying to make it sound like MY MISERABLE FRIENDS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.  It was just more like...I dunno.  I feel like ever since I opened up about my marital issues, a lot of other people have said "OH yeah, my relationship has had some wicked bad lows, too."  I found out that my grandparents, who have been together for over 50 years and whom I thought had a rock-solid marriage, almost divorced back in the 1960s.  Even the strongest relationships have flaws.  Some are worse than others, but nobody's marriage is perfect.  And knowing that has sort of helped me feel like less of a failure, if that makes sense.
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    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? With H, family, and friends- 9. At work- 3. I think that at work, my manager doesn't know how to do his job. He's not very personable, he's too quite, and he's hardly ever on the sales floor.

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? My boss.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? My H. My cousins. My two friends at work.

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? 
    H gets the brunt of it. Otherwise, my two work friends.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) Just in terms of work. I'm jealous of one of our other locations because the manager (who I used to work with) is much easier to get along with. Not everyone liked him as a person, but they all knew he got stuff done. I was out at that store last week, and everyone's attitudes were so much better than at my store.

    In short, I need a new job.
    image
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:2326d007-4cd7-44b8-a38c-bc98291e005f">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll answer the other q's eventually, but what helps you from comparing your life to others? How do you teach yourself to be happy with what you have in the moment?
    Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

    This is going to sound really bad, but it's true - I just don't care about most people. Their successes aren't mine, their failures aren't mine. What they want out of life isn't the same as what I want, so it's a waste of my time and energy to worry about them being better.

    But I can't say I'm happy with what I have in the moment. What I expect of myself does not match what I have/where I am. Even when I do make some sort of accomplishment, I've never been able to really "bask in it," as my mom says I should do.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:2326d007-4cd7-44b8-a38c-bc98291e005f">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll answer the other q's eventually, but what helps you from comparing your life to others? How do you teach yourself to be happy with what you have in the moment?
    Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I think because I am a cynic and know that no ones life is perfect. If anyone tries too hard on facebook or something I just assume they are over-compensating. And I also realize that what makes one person happy isn't necessarily what makes me happy.</div>
    image
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be?
     (1 being low, 10 being high) 8.5

    What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?
    Good: upcoming wedding, seeing lots of friends and family
    Bad: Job stress, dad troubles


    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?
    Fighting with a friend or family member

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?
    I know it sounds cliche, but H. Just even cuddling up with him helps a lot

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy?
    H or my mom

    Do you compare your happiness to others?
    Nope because there's no way to know how truly happy they are because you could be seeing something very different than what they actually feel.
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? I'm going to go with a 7. 

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? Not getting enough sleep, not having money, doing something wrong, getting my ass handed to me on TK lol.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? Listening to fun music and dancing to it. Getting a middle of the day hug from H (I've been known to drive to his workplace and tell him to give me a hug). 

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? Mel, H's BFF Billy, My dad, H

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) Yep, all the time. I'm really perceptive when it comes to people. I'm always noticing things like how happy they look (especially on FB and what not) I get jealous easily. 
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) 7-8, this is a vast improvement over a few years ago

     What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? FH, my job

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? My weight and the self defeating behaviors related to make lack of progress

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? Some quality time with the people i care about, watching a certain tv episode

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? I have a couple of online friends I talk to and obviously FH. he is good for letting me vent and they're better at encouragement.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? Not really, I more compare my current happiness to where I think it should be. 
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  • ]Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high)
    Probably a 4.  I was really happy for my wedding and that was by far the best day ever and finishing grad school made me really proud, but my mom's health and job issues brought me way down.
    What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?
    Family health, my H, my job
    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?
    My mom being in and out of the hospital all year, my job totally sucking
    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?
    My husband, Bax (I'll sit on KD's corny bench)
     Who do you talk to when you aren't happy?
    H, best friend
    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)
    Like others have said, I try not to, because I know firsthand that things can seem perfect from the outside, but be really shiitty on the inside. Similarly, comparing my life to other people's lives really makes no difference--it's not going to change my circumstances and will probably make me feel worse about whatever I'm upset about.
  • A close friend of mine is always comparing her life to others lives and she is probably clinically depressed.  She literally never has anything to say that's nice.  I mean when a mutual friend of ours found out she was having twins, what my friend had to say was this "A gets everything she wants, I've always wanted to have twins.  Now she gets twins."  OH MY GOD.  Something awesome is happening to someone, it doesn't mean that your life is horrible.  KWIM?
    panther
  • Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level?
    8-9 right now. I'm in a really good place, especially the last few months. H and I are buying a house, our jobs are stable, life is generally good.

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk?
    Days where my health takes a dive, days where I have bad anxiety.

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up?
    Hanging at home, with or without H. I love a good nap, reading, watching trashy TV. As long as I am home, I am pretty happy.

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? 
    Definitely my husband, but I talk with my mom a lot too.

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours)
    No. I try really hard to keep the comparisons to a minimum. It's too hard to worry yourself or try to keep up with others. I try really hard to focus on what's going well in my own life.
    image
  • edited June 2012
    Over the past year, on average, what would you rate your happiness level to be? (1 being low, 10 being high) What would you consider a primary factor to that happiness level? Probably a 7. I've had some really high highs, but I go through these month long lows that bring that average down

    what is something that is guaranteed to get you down/in a funk? this is going to sound silly, but not feeling included, and work

    what is something that is guaranteed to make you feel better/lift you up? reading, snuggling with my puppy, getting off of work at 4PM and just sitting in the sunshine

    Who do you talk to when you aren't happy? usually H, but then I feel like I don't want him to see me unhappy/at my worst

    Do you compare your happiness to others? (for example, you see what you percieve as Jane Doe being happy and content with her life, which makes you question why you aren't happy or content with yours) all.the.time. I appreciate your guys suggestions. it's like I truly do know in my heart of hearts that I am happy with my life, and so grateful for the friends/family/H that I have. But sometimes its like I can't shake the feeling that I should feel happier or that something MORE would make me happier. vicious.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:2326d007-4cd7-44b8-a38c-bc98291e005f">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll answer the other q's eventually, but what helps you from comparing your life to others? How do you teach yourself to be happy with what you have in the moment?
    Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]
    One of the biggest changes to my outlook has been for me to just concentrate on myself.  I used to be really co-dependent, which stems from my sister being ill and the whole family sort of revolving around that.  I've struggled for a long time to stop letting the reactions from others influence my life, and just trying to figure out what <u>I</u> want and need, and what makes <u>me</u> happy.  It's not easy but I'm definitely getting better at it.
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  • Aw nates, I didn't know your mom was having issues.  That blows and I'm sorry.  T&P!
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:d31f5192-a7aa-4a5b-8ee6-2cf09df8a277">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE] Yep, all the time. I'm really perceptive when it comes to people. I'm always noticing things like how happy they look (especially on FB and what not) I get jealous easily. 
    Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]
    What was interesting to me was everyone said "Omg, you guys look so happy!" about all of our wedding pictures. And it WAS the very happiest day of my life, but at the same time, this has by far been the worst year/year and a half of my life.  I always wonder what people think from the outside because I am not that happy on average.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tell-me-stuff-about-your-happiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1e2428e5-a777-4e9c-8c17-557d9c9bbed0Post:2326d007-4cd7-44b8-a38c-bc98291e005f">Re: tell me stuff about your happiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll answer the other q's eventually, but what helps you from comparing your life to others? How do you teach yourself to be happy with what you have in the moment?
    Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

    I don't know, really.  I mean, I'm happy for my friends when they're happy and I'm there for them when they're down or having problems, but I just don't use other people as the yardstick for my own happiness.  Do I envy people who had their shiiit figured out by the time they were my age?  For sure.  But I don't let that make me less happy, if that makes sense.
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