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Wedding Reception Forum
AJC430
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Cake and Punch Timeline - help!
So my wedding is 8 months away and my MIL wants to invite her whole universe to the wedding (which she is paying for). After months of fighting about HER 150 person guest list and her desire to have TWO RECEPTIONS (yes T-W-O), we settled on having everything at the church with a dry reception.
Fast forward a couple of months, my stepmother graciously hired a wedding planner for me as a gift.
She suggested (due to my immense amount of stress) to separate the two events and have the reception somewhere else (where we could better control the guest list - as opposed to basically having an open wedding/reception).
After reviewing different reception venues and comparing them, we settled on a nice venue with an all-inclusive package (open bar, wine during dinner, champagne, 3 course meal, wedding cake, etc.) because it was not much more expensive than lesser venues.
SO, as before, my MIL is wanting to have "cake and punch" post receiving line for the wedding. Since this is anticipated to be a large wedding, I'm concerned about the time it takes for a receiving line as well as what happens when the guests get their cake and punch?
Will they be expecting some sort of speech (which we may not have time to give depending on the number of people invited)? Right now the plan is to greet all the guests individually and head to the reception for a more intimate gathering.
My first instinct says that people will cut the receiving line and head straight for the food and then we won't be able to greet them before we leave.
Thoughts?
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Re: Cake and Punch Timeline - help!
If your FMIL isn't paying, then she doesn't get a say and you can plan as you see fit. I agree that a cake and lunch receiving line may well be misunderstood by your guests to be "the" reception and I wouldn't do it. But if your FMIL is paying, she gets a say, and I would try to convince her to limit the receiving line to the actual reception site.
Sorry for the confusion. My FMIL is paying for the wedding and the cake and punch reception at the church. My parents are paying for the reception afterwards.
I would compromise by letting her host something on another day.
2: Ceremony
3-5Cake and Punch for 200 people- 2 hours (I'd assume most will leave after 1 hour or so)
7- Dinner for 30 people.
Or whatever times make sense for you. Or:
2- ceremony. 150 invited, 200 church people just show up (assume 1 hour long)
3-4- cake and punch available in church hall- not a reception, just like a church coffee hour
4-reception at other location begins for invited guests.
Hold the phone... It sounds like you're creating an "A & B" list... Hopefully that's not the case!!!
Ye who pays, gets a say in how their money is spent!!!
Here's a "how to make it work" for ALL guests... No guest gets a "lesser" invitation to only a portion of the reception... Assuming the church has a mandatory start time (something that many/most Catholic brides deal with - "the gap")...
1:00 Ceremony
2:00 Receiving Line, cake & punch reception in church hall
5:00 Happy Hour & Dinner reception (with some other form of dessert)
If your planner suggested breaking this up in any way in terms of an A&B list - FIRE THEM NOW! It is incredibly rude to break guests up. All guests are to be treated equally! With your RSVP, you need to add a line "____ Unable to attend, ____ Attending Cake & Punch reception, ____Attending Cake, punch, & Dinner Reception" That way you can get a more accurate count. Since they're paying, they get a say, but they don't get to be rude and create a "my guests vs. your guests" receptions...