

I put it on the invites, website, and programs, and then we did a fairly harsh announcement before starting the ceremony:
"Hello everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I am E, A’s brother, and I will be officiating this wonderful wedding. I would like to take a second to welcome you all and thank you for being a part of this moment. At the request of the bride and groom, the ceremony is going to be “Unplugged”. You probably have seen this in the invitations, on the wedding website, and it is also in your programs. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, an unplugged wedding is one where there is NO photography or video allowed. A wedding ceremony is an intimate moment, and both the bride and groom feel that the abundant access we have to technology sometimes causes us to miss out on truly experiencing the best parts of life because we are too busy trying to save them through a tiny screen. So, I’d like you all to take out your phones and cameras and hold them up in the air. Is that everyone? Great! Now somewhere on the item in your hand there should be a button labeled power. I’d like you all to take a deep breath and press that button. Now take your phones, cameras, and other picture taking devices and put them away. Under your chair, in your purse, or in your pocket. The lovely lady in back is named M and she will be handling the photography for the ceremony. She’s an excellent photographer and because everyone understands how much people want pictures of the ceremony to look back on, you will all get copies upon request. The happy couple have even arranged to have some pictures of the ceremony available really soon after the wedding. But she is also the reason for the cash bar this evening as my sister and very soon to be brother in law blew the booze budget on hiring her. So if you could please not ruin the professional pictures by having your phones and cameras out during the ceremony, it would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, if I see you trying to sneak a picture, I’ve been given permission to stop the ceremony and let you have the floor until you have finished. I can tell you after knowing my sister for almost - years, you don’t want to be that guy. There will be plenty of time for you all to take pictures of or with the happy couple as soon as the ceremony is over."
People apparently loved it and played along according to the guests we asked.
Re: This hot mess
Short version: My sister and soon-to-be brother in law are thoughtless and inconsiderate, and gave no thought whatsoever to the hospitality of their guests. They do, however, expect their guests to ignore that poor treatment and place the wedding couple on the pedestal where the couple think they belong.
This whole thing makes me so sad: that there was a control freak bride who felt the need to micromanage her guests to this degree; that the groom went along with it; that her brother read this statement as if it wasn't incredibly rude and condescending; that the bride later shared it, all proud of herself; and that someone else probably read it and thought "That's exactly what I need to do!" And how awkward for the poor photographer. "Yes, folks, I'm the reason you have to fork over $8 plus tip for a well G&T." [eyeroll]
Upon a second reading, I realize that it really has NOTHING to do with being "in the moment", and everything to do with, once again, the self importance of the bride and groom. Other key words are "apparently", and "played along". Just once, I would love for a bride to allow for unplugged thoughts and comments!
ETA sorry, bad day, bad mood
Gross. I'm looking forward to seeing my guest's photos of the whole wedding, including the ceremony! I won't have professional proofs for a couple months at least! And some of my favorite photos from my sister's wedding ceremony, my cousin took.
The cash bar is also a great touch. (sarcasm)
But is there an actual problem with unplugged ceremonies? I come from a theater background, and I'm very big on telling people in my party to put away their phones at the theater/opera/church/etc. (pretty much anywhere where you're supposed to be attending to the stage), and I feel like the same rules should apply to the ceremony (but nothing else in a wedding). Obviously people having their phones out during things like this is rude, but is there a problem with politely asking them not to?
I can't figure out if the unplugged part itself is rude (a single sign asking people to put away their phones, or a simple line in the program), or if it's just often paired with rude behavior, like this example? Yes, there is a problem. The problem is brides and grooms trying to control their guests.
Here's the thing... theater and weddings don't have a same rules. People not taking pictures at weddings is a PREFERENCE, not an etiquette rule. It's not rude to take a picture with your cell phone at a wedding (whereas it is rude to be on your phone in a dark theater/opera or in church). Hence, brides and grooms trying to control guest behavior.
Plus and also, a good photographer is going to get shots that don't include a mass of people holding up their phones.
From a photographer's viewpoint: guests taking pictures from their seat aren't a big deal, most of us don't care about that. The problem is just about every wedding is going to have a couple of people who decide to jump into the aisle during a crucial moment to take their own picture, without thinking about how they are completely blocking the view for the photographer's camera. Unless the photographer is at the very front of the aisle or has a second shooter, this is hard to work around--especially if the wedding is taking place in a church that only allows the photographer to stand in the back. There's a lot that can go wrong with wedding photography, so we appreciate anything that makes our job a little easier. Speaking as a bride, I'd much rather have the professional quality pictures we spent good money on than the camera phone quality ones that may not print well. (but we did not "screw over" our guests by not paying for their alcohol, nor make any kind of unplug request)
As for the couple in the OP, yeah, they're a hot mess.
I will say the speech posted above is to far, and will have the officiant remind them they are in church so phones and flash are not appropriate since it distracts from the holy sacrament (or some crap like that)
call me controlling I don't care, if it what I have to do to get my best photos then it is what I am going to do.. but we have an open bar, and great food, and lots of other things that are for the guests, if this is the one place I am rude, I am perfectly happy with that..
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