Dear Prudence,
My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their second child next month, and they asked if I would babysit their 3-year-old son while they are at the hospital. I gladly agreed and recently visited their home for a long weekend to get to know their child care routine better. They are in the process of potty-training their son “Joe,” and part of their training is letting the child watch the parents use the bathroom. During my visit, I went into the bathroom, and Joe came in mid-use. When I told him he needed to wait until I was done, he said, “But I want to watch you.” I didn’t want to freak him out, so I calmly repeated my request that he wait outside, but he did not leave. I finished using the bathroom, washed my hands, and we both went back to the living room. Joe told his mother, “I saw auntie peeing!” This greatly upset my sister-in-law. She told me that it was very inappropriate to “take him into the bathroom” with me, despite my explaining that he had followed me. She has also made several comments to other family members about my “pervy” act—her words. She keeps bringing up how upset she is by my “inappropriate actions” toward her son. I don’t know how else to get through to her that I did not intentionally urinate in front of her child. I am at the point where I no longer want to drive seven hours to babysit when she goes into labor. But I also know that she and my brother don’t have any friends in town, and I don’t want to deprive him of the opportunity to see their second child born. What should I do?