Hello all, this is my first time writing on the discussion boards. I'm sorry if this is a little long winded, but this questions needs a bit of a back story. Thank you for reading!
3 years ago, I was asked to be in this friend of mine's wedding as a bridesmaid, since she kicked her sister out. I had only known her for a little under a year at this point. I said yes, and things were okay. She got upset with me for something very stupid, and put her sister back in the wedding and kicked me out. She invited my fiancé, and he still attended their wedding while I did not because she uninvited me. Fast forward to this year, we rekindled and apologized and all of that jazz. She told me that she would be more than happy to help answer any wedding questions that I had because she loves weddings. So I took that as a good sign of friendship. My bridesmaids (4) have never been married, so they do not know much about weddings (which is fine!). I asked her a total of about 3 questions over the course of 3 months, of which she always happily answered and reassured me it's okay. Last week, she texted me saying that she doesn't think it's right that my bridesmaids do not help me, because it is their responsibility, not "a friend from the sidelines," to assist with wedding advice. She said it's because her bridesmaids never helped her and she will forever be bitter about it. I kind of just shrugged it off and apologized for bothering her, since it was okay before. She then said that if I need a replacement bridesmaid, she would be happy to jump in. I feel this was a little...much. I have been friends with all of my BMs for over 5 years (or more) with each of them, there is no way I am ditching anyone. I thanked her for the offer. Now, she's telling me because she "hates" the one guest we are inviting (which is a mutual friend and she liked the week before) her and her husband only plan on coming to the ceremony, and then leaving. Note, they live 3 hours from our venue.
How do I go about asking or telling her that they should just not come, or that I need to know if I need to pay for their dinner? I honestly think it's a bit rude to do it this way, since she's doing it because of some silly feud (on her end) with this friend of ours. How should I handle this situation?
Thank you again for your advice ahead of time!