While
scrolling through my facebook feed, I saw a "Love Table" from someone's
wedding, and I thought I'd share the idea (along with a word of
caution). The wedding couple had a small table with 10-15 framed photos
of important couples in their lives (mostly grandparents, parents,
aunts/uncles). There was a framed sign explaining the table (sorry I
can't provide the exact text), and small signs next to each photo
identifying each couple They chose (according to the description)
couples that they love & admire, feel grateful for, and who set an
example to them of real love. It is a very sweet gesture to honor those
whose relationships gave you an example of what a healthy and loving
marriage could be.
So here's my word of caution:
If
you're going to have a table for COUPLES that you admire, and whose
relationship provided you with an example for your own, then consider
limiting it to relationships that you actually witnessed, and to couples
where you've actually met both halves.
There
are other options available if you have more people to honor outside of
couples whose relationship you witnessed and wish to emulate. Having
an "in loving memory" table would be appropriate for family members (or
other loved ones) who departed too soon. A table with a message that
says "thank you" to those featured for their loving guidance or advice
would be a very appropriate place to feature a mentor. A "wall of
honor" or "table of gratitude" or "table of admiration" to honor
important people in your life who could or couldn't make it to the
wedding is a sweet gesture. Tailor your table to fit those who you wish
to honor. Or, you could always thank your guests uniformly for
attending, and then make private gestures to those who are special in
your life (that would actually be my preferred method).
The reason why I add the caution:
The
table that I saw on facebook today contained a photo of my uncle and
late aunt. My aunt passed away when I was very young, so I don't
remember much about her. I've heard wonderful things about who she was
as a person (poise, demeanor, etc.).
The
person whose wedding held the "love table" was my ex boyfriend. My ex
met my uncle a few times in person when we dated (and they are still
facebook friends), but he never knew my aunt, and so he never witnessed
their relationship or knew how they behaved/interacted/loved each other
as a couple. Listening to memories that my uncle shares and seeing
memorial "Mother's day" facebook posts are not the same as witnessing a
couple's marital endurance. I'm not facebook friends with my ex (that
relationship went down worse than the Hindenburg), but to see my aunt
& uncle tagged in their table display for couples who have impacted
them felt very odd. Aside from the whole "my ex still worms his way
into my family's presence every chance he gets" issue, it cheapens their
admiration for the relationships that they DID witness by including one
that they only heard about through a few filtered and well selected (and one-sided) stories. It wasn't
my aunt's participation in her marriage that my ex witnessed and
admired, it was the sweet memorial musings of a widower that my ex
enjoyed hearing and admired.
Maybe
nobody else will think it's creepy.....just something to consider and
keep in mind if you choose to publicly honor a few selected people or
relationships at your wedding.