Wedding 911

Venue rights

2456

Re: Venue rights

  • edited October 2015
    I had to buy everything in advance. My mother bought me a plane ticket to California to view the venue in May and do the shopping/cake tasting etc...If I did not buy it in May I would have had to wait until the day before the wedding to buy everything, make all the decor oh and get our license. Kind of a lot to do in one day don't ya think?? And I couldn't very well make everything here then pay to have it all shipped, the budget would not allow for that hefty price tag. So having a wedding that does not require my guests to travel 2000 miles meant I had to buy things early. You are right it was not ideal, but it is the hand you are dealt when you move away from home and still want to have a wedding that friends and family can actually attend.

    I am not hoping for magic to fix it, I was looking for someone who has had a similar experience who could maybe provide some helpful information....such as the negotiating for a lower venue charge (which I am working on doing). 

    Jen4948
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its

    I had to buy everything in advance. My mother bought me a plane ticket to California to view the venue in May and do the shopping/cake tasting etc...If I did not buy it in May I would have had to wait until the day before the wedding to buy everything, make all the decor oh and get our license. Kind of a lot to do in one day don't ya think?? And I couldn't very well make everything here then pay to have it all shipped, the budget would not allow for that hefty price tag. So having a wedding that does not require my guests to travel 2000 miles meant I had to buy things early. You are right it was not ideal, but it is the hand you are dealt when you move away from home and still want to have a wedding that friends and family can actually attend.

    I am not hoping for magic to fix it, I was looking for someone who has had a similar experience who could maybe provide some helpful information....such as the negotiating for a lower venue charge (which I am working on doing). 
    I lived on a small caribbean island and got married in the states.  An island where I could not have a lot of things shipped to my house. I was in the states 10 months before the wedding then again a week out.   Still no need to buy everything that far out.    But that is water under the bridge.

    If they will not lower the price ask for things instead.   Some places are more willing to throw in extras then lower the price.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Sadly, the only extra this place could potentially provide has a value of about $3,000 I discussed that with my mother, but realistically they would likely cancel the contract entirely than offer that little bonus (it would be a nice one and is on my list of things to request, but I'm being realistic in my brain that it won't happen). As it sits I'm hoping for a simple price reduction to have to deal with the monstrosity that is the new barn, hopefully they are willing to understand what an imposition this creates

  • The fiancé set the budget, it is in stone. (He's very frugal and even getting the budget I have was work) Yes, we have the money now, and will not be spending a Penney over the set budget. I am not having random strangers in charge of getting my wedding set up. I don't have any extra money in the budget to pay for things that would be a non issue if they had not changed the venue so drastically.
    This is a huge red flag. 

    Even if you were working extra hours or making the money, he wouldn't be flexible with the wedding budget? He's not willing to take a dramatic change in circumstances into account and rework it? Is your FI in charge of all the budget decisions in your household?

    If he's so inflexible now about a change, how will it be when you're married? Will you always be deferring to his financial decisions?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Jedi, we have lived together for 7 years, this is nothing I am new to experiencing please don't address my relationship with your unwanted advice where it is not needed. He makes the majority of the money, so he put in the majority of the wedding money. My job will not allow for any overtime and getting a second job when you can only work 1 day a week or from 6-9 during the week has proven uneventful. Nobody wants to hire someone who can work limited hours. I took a second job and brought in $400 which also went toward the current existing wedding budget.

    He doesn't like spending loads of money on ANYTHING, that's just who he is. I have no problem with it as it means we have money for our life and future together and won't struggle when we get older.

    Let's not get off topic please....thanks for the unwanted advice about my relationship that wasn't needed.

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm all for keeping a budget, but sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to make some adjustments.  I'm not suggesting thousands of dollars here, but maybe you sell some of the stuff you have gotten if they are not going to work now.  Then maybe have to add a little bit to make it all work.

    You have 8 months.   You might be able to squeeze out a few hundred from your own budget to make it happen.  

    Just trying to think outside the box for you.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • edited October 2015
    There's nothing to sell as there was very little ceremony decor...that was the perk of the outdoor space and spiral aisle, nothing really needed to be added. I would have to spend close to $1000 on material to drape and flowers to add in order to make the hideous thing even remotely attractive by hiding all the steel. I believe since they exclusively use one rental company for the decor they are putting this ugly thing up to send more business to the rental company. (the rental company owner did the venue walk through with us instead of the actual venue people, that's how close a business relationship they have)

    HID I have not been against the negotiations I have stated MULTIPLE TIMES that I am working on trying to negotiate a price drop due to the changes but as of yet I have not received a response from the venue.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    There is nothing you can do other than change venues or try to negotiate a lower price as compensation. Since you say you can't change venues, that narrows it down to nothing you can do but try to negotiate. Not sure what else you expect people to say.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    ShesSoColdPrettyGirlLostsarahuflfyrchk
  • So I'm a little conflicted. Original poster, I get where you're coming from and you're 100% right that it's really crappy for the venue to add a barn to your lot after you signed your contract assuming there would not be a barn there. That said, what is the venue supposed to do?  There will always be another wedding. If it wasn't you who got screwed, it would have been some other bride. The truth is, there's never a good time to renovate/make changes to a building/lot people book for events and weddings because it will always be before the next event and after someone already signed a contract.

    What if you were getting married in a hotel ballroom and a year out, they changed the carpet to some hideous color/design? What they changed the layout of the room? You can't suggest the hotel doesn't have a right to renovate and decorate their own property because a year later, you'll need it for one day. Instead, you should try to figure out a way around that ugly carpet.

    In this case, you need to find a way to make the barn work OR you'll have to cancel your contract and book another venue, then look into legal counsel if you think it'll make a difference to get your deposit back. Those are your options.
    madamerwinPrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueenskimmiinthemitten
  • edited October 2015
    Omg, you ladies are crazy, I have already said I am negotiating with the venue and apparently I have to keep saying it because you are acting like I haven't listened to anybody. Really, this post needs to be closed, because we've decided on a course of action based off of a knotties suggestion to negotiate a discounted price. I'm not sure how to close a topic?

    I am also trying to figure out if a different area on the property entirely is big enough for the space we need to still have an outdoor ceremony. .. it may be tight and I'll need to get measurements from the venue and map it out.

    The overall plan is to work toward a discount for creating such a problem then try to avoid using the ugly barn at all by moving the ceremony to a more secluded area on the property.

  • Fortunately with my wedding vendors I don't have to consistently repeat myself, so trust me my tone with them is just fine, thanks though!

  • Jedi, we have lived together for 7 years, this is nothing I am new to experiencing please don't address my relationship with your unwanted advice where it is not needed. He makes the majority of the money, so he put in the majority of the wedding money. My job will not allow for any overtime and getting a second job when you can only work 1 day a week or from 6-9 during the week has proven uneventful. Nobody wants to hire someone who can work limited hours. I took a second job and brought in $400 which also went toward the current existing wedding budget.

    He doesn't like spending loads of money on ANYTHING, that's just who he is. I have no problem with it as it means we have money for our life and future together and won't struggle when we get older.

    Let's not get off topic please....thanks for the unwanted advice about my relationship that wasn't needed.
    (1) You brought it up in a way that sounded authoritarian. How the hell do I know your situation, how long you've been together, etc. It would be very good advice for a couple who hasn't been together long, or who has never lived together. You should realize that internet strangers (a) don't always know the whole story and (b) are often the only ones who will say something family and friends won't, because we don't have any repercussions. Don't get defensive or bitchy, just realize it's good advice for some people, but maybe not you. 

    (2) Telling people what they can and cannot say on internet forums never goes well. If you mention it publicly, others have the ability to publicly respond. Say "no, that's not us" and move on, but don't try to dictate the conversation. It tends to rile people up more. 

    (3) I agree with PPs. It seems like you don't want advice, or you only want the advice you want to hear, and we internet strangers should somehow read your mind and know how to (& care to) do that. Good luck with that.
    PrettyGirlLostSwissMs
  • I thought barns were cool for weddings ... isn't that what most people want nowadays?
    image
    spockforprezPrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueenschibiyui
  • mileybangerz said:
    I thought barns were cool for weddings ... isn't that what most people want nowadays?
    Well, I wouldn't want a barn. I know that's the "in" thing right now, but it's a trend and like all trends, some love it and some don't. Personally, I'm more of a fan of an elegant traditional wedding than a rustic barn wedding.
  • mileybangerz said:
    I thought barns were cool for weddings ... isn't that what most people want nowadays?
    Well, I wouldn't want a barn. I know that's the "in" thing right now, but it's a trend and like all trends, some love it and some don't. Personally, I'm more of a fan of an elegant traditional wedding than a rustic barn wedding.
    There is nothing elegant or traditional about 75 chairs arranged in a spiral. And if there was room for that, there is room to set up tables and chairs for 75 in the space and just have the ceremony with people already in their seats for dinner. So easy and simple and you still get an outdoor wedding.

    But ultimately, if you are so unhappy with any of the advice we are offering, perhaps it would be best if you clicked 'log out' and went elsewhere.
    image
    Maggie0829PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueensLiatris2010
  • LOL, did you see the photo I posted of the barn they are installing? There is nothing cool about it....They actually have a very cool barn on the property that they use for storage and outdoor photo ops (can't go in it unfortunately)....the thing they are installing is more of a trough than a cool barn

  • edited October 2015
    OK all I am going to say this ONE LAST TIME....I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN SAID ADVICE AND I AM NEGOTIATING WITH THE VENUE FOR A LOWER FEE. You all keep acting like I haven't said that half a dozen times now. Please read before attacking me for "not taking advice".

    I never said I wanted an elegant wedding, we are doing a 1950's rockabilly inspired wedding. I personally have been to a wedding where they sat at their dinner seats while the couple got married and hated it as a guest so, I wouldn't do that at my wedding. 

    The barn thing they are installing is probably better named as a large trough than a true barn, so it's not even "vintage shabby chic cool" like they do for some "barn weddings". I have posted the photo so you can see the ugly steel thing I would be dealing with.

    If everything works out, I will be able to negotiate a discount then depending on space, there is a secluded area under a large tree...the idea would be to set up the 65-70 seats under the tree and get married in a quaint ceremony under this big beautiful tree on the property.



  • OK all I am going to say this ONE LAST TIME....I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN SAID ADVICE AND I AM NEGOTIATING WITH THE VENUE FOR A LOWER FEE. You all keep acting like I haven't said that half a dozen times now. Please read before attacking me for "not taking advice".

    I never said I wanted an elegant wedding, we are doing a 1950's rockabilly inspired wedding. I personally have been to a wedding where they sat at their dinner seats while the couple got married and hated it as a guest so, I wouldn't do that at my wedding. 

    The barn thing they are installing is probably better named as a large trough than a true barn, so it's not even "vintage shabby chic cool" like they do for some "barn weddings". I have posted the photo so you can see the ugly steel thing I would be dealing with.

    If everything works out, I will be able to negotiate a discount then depending on space, there is a secluded area under a large tree...the idea would be to set up the 65-70 seats under the tree and get married in a quaint ceremony under this big beautiful tree on the property.


    I can't seem to find the pic of the "barn" (your words, not mine) that you posted.  But it looks to be tall enough that it won't be noticed in pictures.  Also, a trough is convex.  What you posted is concave.

    You need to emotionally (since this seems to be quite emotional for you) prepare for the possibility that your venue does not negotiate.
    image
    madamerwinPrettyGirlLostready2wed59
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    never mind it will not post.   But the picture is on the first page






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Yeah, I called it a barn cause that's what the rep called it before he sent me the photo. I received the photo after I started this post, so we just rolled with the "barn" terminology. Even with the top not being noticeable in photos, the sides are hideous, and those will be visible in photography. As it is going to be quite large the amount of fabric that would be required to hide the uglyness is quite extensive, so the ultimate goal is to not use it at all.


    I am prepared that they won't negotiate, that is why I am not planning on using the ugly thing....If I knew they were willing to negotiate then I would plan on spending the negotiated part of the budget to beautify the monstrosity.Since there is no guarantee, I am planning on alternatives at the venue, however if they do not negotiate even slightly, I can't say what their review from me will be once the wedding has come and gone. 

  • Hope you understand that if you try to negotiate while repeatedly calling it ugly, hideous and a monstrosity, you're likely not going to get anywhere.
    mileybangerzPrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueenssarahufl
  • Knottie, did I say I called it those things to the venue manager? I can express my feelings toward the thing here and still remain civil and professional about the situation with the venue.

  • Knottie, did I say I called it those things to the venue manager? I can express my feelings toward the thing here and still remain civil and professional about the situation with the venue.

    So what did you say?
    image
  • OP, I don't understand your question.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I said I was concerned because I booked the location based on the availability of 2 outdoor lots, and with the addition of the barn it no longer made that lot useable space for our wedding. I mentioned that I believed it would not photograph well. I also told him that based off of the space needed for the reception, using the upper lot for both was not an option. I expressed concern that had I not emailed him to ask a different question entirely I would never have been informed and would have discovered this change on my wedding day. I expressed concern over paying full price for a venue I'm not happy with and left it at that.

    Addie, to answer your question....since by fiance is only slightly taller than me I am wearing a short heel.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards