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Wedding 911

Venue rights

1235

Re: Venue rights

  • I meant specifically at an outdoor wedding. ..I'm aware people die of heat stroke in general. Again an 85 degree day is not hot enough to cause heat stroke for maybe an hour until it cools down, unless you are not staying hydrated. There will be 3 children there and 2 people over 55, that's it. All of which are used to being outside in hotter weather than that. So, trust me I have taken them into consideration, there will be plenty of water to stay hydrated, they will not die or end up in the hospital. I'm sure they appreciate you harassing me on their behalf, but it's really not worth your time, because they are going to be just fine
    image

    Just because it hasn't happened (or at least my Google-fu failed to find any record of such) doesn't mean your wedding can't be the first to go down in history that way.


    That one line is pretty much what etiquette is all about, so I'll say it again. THE COMFORT OF YOUR GUESTS IS CRITICAL.

    Nothing else matters in the grand scheme.
    image
    madamerwinHeffalumpchibiyui
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I meant specifically at an outdoor wedding. ..I'm aware people die of heat stroke in general. Again an 85 degree day is not hot enough to cause heat stroke for maybe an hour until it cools down, unless you are not staying hydrated. There will be 3 children there and 2 people over 55, that's it. All of which are used to being outside in hotter weather than that. So, trust me I have taken them into consideration, there will be plenty of water to stay hydrated, they will not die or end up in the hospital. I'm sure they appreciate you harassing me on their behalf, but it's really not worth your time, because they are going to be just fine
    Oh please, no one is harassing you, and yeah, heat stroke can occur in an hour, but by all means, continue on with your vision that tells your guests, "hey, FUCK YOU, my vision is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than your comfort, health, or safety."  

    I'm also glad you can see the future.  Can you tell me the next winning lotto numbers?  The next winners of the Super Bowl?  Will my investments continue to increase?  


    image
    madamerwinchibiyuiFiancBMesmrEwe
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Here you go

    image


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    artbyalliePrettyGirlLostchibiyui
  • levioosa said:
    Here you go

    image
    lol, jinx!
    image
  • scribe95 said:
    OP posted a weird initial question and was super defensive but it seems like she has considered her guests comfort. 

    She has a shaded area and tents for backup. I'm a little confused by all the posts. Is it suddenly not okay to have any outdoor weddings? Or how about winter weddings? That seems new since people have them all the time. We always say an invite isn't a subpoena. 
    IMO this isn't just against the OP.   I honestly think that an outdoor wedding at 85 degrees in the shade is a bad idea.   Are they all over this area in the summer?   Yes.   Is that one of the few times I'm glad to be the one in a sleeveless dress and heels while DH is in a suit?   You better believe it.   

    There are a few mansions in the area that are really popular for weddings and they're on the water.   If it's a day you don't catch a breeze it's a day that the guests talk about peeling their clothes off.   And in general, the younger healthier crowd is fine with it.  But the older crowd (parents age and up) are more sensitive to heat and really don't dig it.


    And think about how much can change with your guests so quickly.   I went to a picnic with DH's family last year when I was about 8 mo pregnant with DS.   It was in the upper 80s but they had a chair for me and I stayed in the shade.   I was HOT.  And thankfully in the prolific family we have, plenty of people made sure I was hydrated while DH chased the 3 yo.   But man, when you're 'young and healthy' all you need is that basketball belly to add a layer of holy moly I'm about to PTFO.   And it doesn't need to just be a pregnant woman.   You could be someone in your 30's with early hypertension, stress, heat intolerance, or an older person with issues.   I honestly think that if you haven't opted for climate controlling equipment then the outdoor wedding can just go really poorly. 
    InLoveInQueenschibiyui
  • I meant specifically at an outdoor wedding. ..I'm aware people die of heat stroke in general. Again an 85 degree day is not hot enough to cause heat stroke for maybe an hour until it cools down, unless you are not staying hydrated. There will be 3 children there and 2 people over 55, that's it. All of which are used to being outside in hotter weather than that. So, trust me I have taken them into consideration, there will be plenty of water to stay hydrated, they will not die or end up in the hospital. I'm sure they appreciate you harassing me on their behalf, but it's really not worth your time, because they are going to be just fine
    I'm under 40 and cannot tolerate high temperatures. I'm on medication that affects my tolerance to temperatures both high and low. Do you know the medical history and what kinds of medications of each and every one of your guests?

    Also, if anyone is pregnant, the heat is going to be a bitch!

    But you know, if it's your vision to have sexy paramedics and firemen show up...so be it!
    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuiFiancBMesmrEwe
  • KahlylaKahlyla Moncton, NB member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    I'm probably going to kick myself for offering actual advice (and yeah, this is all too hot for me, but I'm putting that aside for a moment), but could you:

    1) Do the spiral aisle setup for your ceremony in the big space, then:

    2) Have a cocktail hour in a different space, whether the hideous structure or something else, whilst:

    3) The staff flips the ceremony space into the reception layout

    Many couples do a room flip between ceremony and reception, and while this may represent a few additional costs, that could be an area for negotiation with the venue. i.e. they could offer to accommodate the "room" flip and a few extra tables and such free or at a reduced charge.

    image
    PrettyGirlLostsouthernbelle0915short+sassy
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    Good lord, between this and the other 911 thread about Michigan in winter, I'm just thanking my lucky stars to live in a first world country with effective heating and cooling systems that I took full advantage of for my wedding. 

    image

    This is how I feel about all these outdoor wedding plans flying about.  And I love the rationalizations that the guests will be used to the hot/frigid temps because they are from that area.  Yeah, pretty sure everyone and their fucking mother in Cali uses AC in the summer and everyone and their fucking mother in Michigan uses heat in the winter. . . I wonder why?!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    thisismynickname2levioosaMesmrEweSherbie25

  • Good lord, between this and the other 911 thread about Michigan in winter, I'm just thanking my lucky stars to live in a first world country with effective heating and cooling systems that I took full advantage of for my wedding. 

    image

    This is how I feel about all these outdoor wedding plans flying about.  And I love the rationalizations that the guests will be used to the hot/frigid temps because they are from that area.  Yeah, pretty sure everyone and their fucking mother in Cali uses AC in the summer and everyone and their fucking mother in Michigan uses heat in the winter. . . I wonder why?!
    Yup! I'm from New England and there is no fucking way I would sit outside for 30+ minutes for anything if the outside temp was anything less than 40. And in the winter? We can get -20 windchills. Fuck that noise.
    InLoveInQueenslightningsnow
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    So, all I got from this was Sexy Firemen and Sexy Paramedics. 

    image
    image

    image



    Anniversary
    TrixieJessPrettyGirlLostryanandjoe4
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Good lord, between this and the other 911 thread about Michigan in winter, I'm just thanking my lucky stars to live in a first world country with effective heating and cooling systems that I took full advantage of for my wedding. 

    image

    This is how I feel about all these outdoor wedding plans flying about.  And I love the rationalizations that the guests will be used to the hot/frigid temps because they are from that area.  Yeah, pretty sure everyone and their fucking mother in Cali uses AC in the summer and everyone and their fucking mother in Michigan uses heat in the winter. . . I wonder why?!
    Fucking seriously! I have lived in the NE all of my life. That means humid and in the 90s during summer. That doesn't mean I enjoy sitting outside and sweating in a fucking dress. It doesn't matter if it's in the shade. My makeup will be sliding off my face and I won't be happy. 

    One of my very best friends had an outdoor ceremony in July. It started at 5pm and it was sweltering. Everyone was miserable, especially when the ceremony started 45 minutes late. I love my friend to pieces, but I won't forget that she made us sit outside like that for hours. Thankfully the reception was air conditioned. 

    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuiMesmrEwe
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    Kahlyla said:
    I'm probably going to kick myself for offering actual advice (and yeah, this is all too hot for me, but I'm putting that aside for a moment), but could you:

    1) Do the spiral aisle setup for your ceremony in the big space, then:

    2) Have a cocktail hour in a different space, whether the hideous structure or something else, whilst:

    3) The staff flips the ceremony space into the reception layout

    Many couples do a room flip between ceremony and reception, and while this may represent a few additional costs, that could be an area for negotiation with the venue. i.e. they could offer to accommodate the "room" flip and a few extra tables and such free or at a reduced charge.

    Get out of here with your logic!

    OP wants one of these:

    image

    But really needs one of these:

    image

    People die of heat, weddings aren't magical protection from it that guarantees no one will die. But hey, if your only goal for guest comfort is "nobody died", go for it. I personally really enjoyed hearing from guests that they really enjoyed our wedding, but hey. More important to hear they totally dug that spiral setup that you lifted off of pinterest.

    Looking at the picture, I think it is mostly a really unfortunate people. You know how food pics look like when someone takes a picture indoors with their phone with no idea what they're doing? Diarrhea. It looks like diarrhea. I think that's kind of what is going on with this picture. I'm a little bewildered why they'd choose a canopy like that over something more ornate, but they could even change their minds as time goes on. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. 

    8 months is PLENTY of time to figure something out. Jesus. 
    image
    PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueenschibiyui
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    FiancB said:
    Kahlyla said:
    I'm probably going to kick myself for offering actual advice (and yeah, this is all too hot for me, but I'm putting that aside for a moment), but could you:

    1) Do the spiral aisle setup for your ceremony in the big space, then:

    2) Have a cocktail hour in a different space, whether the hideous structure or something else, whilst:

    3) The staff flips the ceremony space into the reception layout

    Many couples do a room flip between ceremony and reception, and while this may represent a few additional costs, that could be an area for negotiation with the venue. i.e. they could offer to accommodate the "room" flip and a few extra tables and such free or at a reduced charge.

    Get out of here with your logic!

    OP wants one of these:

    image

    But really needs one of these:

    image

    People die of heat, weddings aren't magical protection from it that guarantees no one will die. But hey, if your only goal for guest comfort is "nobody died", go for it. I personally really enjoyed hearing from guests that they really enjoyed our wedding, but hey. More important to hear they totally dug that spiral setup that you lifted off of pinterest.

    Looking at the picture, I think it is mostly a really unfortunate people. You know how food pics look like when someone takes a picture indoors with their phone with no idea what they're doing? Diarrhea. It looks like diarrhea. I think that's kind of what is going on with this picture. I'm a little bewildered why they'd choose a canopy like that over something more ornate, but they could even change their minds as time goes on. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. 

    8 months is PLENTY of time to figure something out. Jesus. 
    That looks like a farm structure. . . that you would find on a working farm.  Is OP's wedding venue strictly a wedding and events venue, or is it actually a working farm that rents space to weddings and events?

    Because if it's an actual farm, and can see them building something that serves utility for them over something that looks pretty for the brides.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    JediElizabethInLoveInQueens
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Good lord, between this and the other 911 thread about Michigan in winter, I'm just thanking my lucky stars to live in a first world country with effective heating and cooling systems that I took full advantage of for my wedding. 

    image

    This is how I feel about all these outdoor wedding plans flying about.  And I love the rationalizations that the guests will be used to the hot/frigid temps because they are from that area.  Yeah, pretty sure everyone and their fucking mother in Cali uses AC in the summer and everyone and their fucking mother in Michigan uses heat in the winter. . . I wonder why?!
    Fucking seriously! I have lived in the NE all of my life. That means humid and in the 90s during summer. That doesn't mean I enjoy sitting outside and sweating in a fucking dress. It doesn't matter if it's in the shade. My makeup will be sliding off my face and I won't be happy. 

    One of my very best friends had an outdoor ceremony in July. It started at 5pm and it was sweltering. Everyone was miserable, especially when the ceremony started 45 minutes late. I love my friend to pieces, but I won't forget that she made us sit outside like that for hours. Thankfully the reception was air conditioned. 
    We had an outdoor wedding last July. We knew we were taking a risk with the weather, but we had serious contingency plans in place. Giant fans for the pavilion and A/C units for the cabin area where the bathrooms/guest book area were. There was no way in hell I would have booked our venue if there was no weather plan available. Sure, I would have lost my gorgeous outdoor wedding but my guests wouldn't have had to sit outside in sweltering heat.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    MesmrEwe
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    FiancB said:
    Kahlyla said:
    I'm probably going to kick myself for offering actual advice (and yeah, this is all too hot for me, but I'm putting that aside for a moment), but could you:

    1) Do the spiral aisle setup for your ceremony in the big space, then:

    2) Have a cocktail hour in a different space, whether the hideous structure or something else, whilst:

    3) The staff flips the ceremony space into the reception layout

    Many couples do a room flip between ceremony and reception, and while this may represent a few additional costs, that could be an area for negotiation with the venue. i.e. they could offer to accommodate the "room" flip and a few extra tables and such free or at a reduced charge.

    Get out of here with your logic!

    OP wants one of these:

    image

    But really needs one of these:

    image

    People die of heat, weddings aren't magical protection from it that guarantees no one will die. But hey, if your only goal for guest comfort is "nobody died", go for it. I personally really enjoyed hearing from guests that they really enjoyed our wedding, but hey. More important to hear they totally dug that spiral setup that you lifted off of pinterest.

    Looking at the picture, I think it is mostly a really unfortunate people. You know how food pics look like when someone takes a picture indoors with their phone with no idea what they're doing? Diarrhea. It looks like diarrhea. I think that's kind of what is going on with this picture. I'm a little bewildered why they'd choose a canopy like that over something more ornate, but they could even change their minds as time goes on. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. 

    8 months is PLENTY of time to figure something out. Jesus. 
    That looks like a farm structure. . . that you would find on a working farm.  Is OP's wedding venue strictly a wedding and events venue, or is it actually a working farm that rents space to weddings and events?

    Because if it's an actual farm, and can see them building something that serves utility for them over something that looks pretty for the brides.
    Yeah, I can't find the picture again so I don't know if I'm remembering correctly but it looks like something you'd use to cover a riding arena or something like that.
    image
    PrettyGirlLostryanandjoe4
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Wow.

    My parents dreamed of their wedding being at their synagogue with their friends and extended relatives...and because my dad was in the Air Force and couldn't get leave from where he was stationed some 1000 miles away they just had a tiny wedding with only their immediate families present...

    Oh wait. It didn't ruin their wedding or their lives that they didn't get their "dream wedding"... and they chose to be adults about it. I guess their situation doesn't compare with yours.
  • Jen4948 said:
    Wow. My parents dreamed of their wedding being at their synagogue with their friends and extended relatives...and because my dad was in the Air Force and couldn't get leave from where he was stationed some 1000 miles away they just had a tiny wedding with only their immediate families present... Oh wait. It didn't ruin their wedding or their lives that they didn't get their "dream wedding"... and they chose to be adults about it. I guess their situation doesn't compare with yours.
    In fairness, that situation is entirely different than the situation the OP is in. Your parents made a choice to modify their vision because it was inconvenient for THEM to have their dream wedding. In the OP's case, she paid for a venue thinking she'd have two open lots and then they built something she doesn't like on one of the lots, so the venue changed through no choice of her own. Granted, the property has a right to do that as has been discussed, but your analogy about your parents just doesn't fit.
    photokitty
  • ThxSugarThxSugar member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    FiancB said:




    FiancB said:


    Kahlyla said:

    I'm probably going to kick myself for offering actual advice (and yeah, this is all too hot for me, but I'm putting that aside for a moment), but could you:

    1) Do the spiral aisle setup for your ceremony in the big space, then:

    2) Have a cocktail hour in a different space, whether the hideous structure or something else, whilst:

    3) The staff flips the ceremony space into the reception layout

    Many couples do a room flip between ceremony and reception, and while this may represent a few additional costs, that could be an area for negotiation with the venue. i.e. they could offer to accommodate the "room" flip and a few extra tables and such free or at a reduced charge.


    Get out of here with your logic!

    OP wants one of these:

    image

    But really needs one of these:

    image

    People die of heat, weddings aren't magical protection from it that guarantees no one will die. But hey, if your only goal for guest comfort is "nobody died", go for it. I personally really enjoyed hearing from guests that they really enjoyed our wedding, but hey. More important to hear they totally dug that spiral setup that you lifted off of pinterest.

    Looking at the picture, I think it is mostly a really unfortunate people. You know how food pics look like when someone takes a picture indoors with their phone with no idea what they're doing? Diarrhea. It looks like diarrhea. I think that's kind of what is going on with this picture. I'm a little bewildered why they'd choose a canopy like that over something more ornate, but they could even change their minds as time goes on. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. 

    8 months is PLENTY of time to figure something out. Jesus. 

    That looks like a farm structure. . . that you would find on a working farm.  Is OP's wedding venue strictly a wedding and events venue, or is it actually a working farm that rents space to weddings and events?

    Because if it's an actual farm, and can see them building something that serves utility for them over something that looks pretty for the brides.



    Yeah, I can't find the picture again so I don't know if I'm remembering correctly but it looks like something you'd use to cover a riding arena or something like that.


    ------BOX------
    I think you are on to something. The picture is on the first page and there is an incomplete text with it. Sounds like they, the venue, also plan on storing produce in there or something.

    Eta: box

  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2015
    Really late to the party here, but my cousin got married last year in Temecula (ie southern CA) in June.  It was hot as shit, even though it was high 80s in the shade (both ceremony and reception were outside).  Very uncomfortable even for us young healthy folks.  It didn't get halfway pleasant until around 8pm.  And, I grew up in a hot climate (central CA) and she wasn't "requiring" formal attire either.  

    It's one thing to hang out in the heat for a summer BBQ in shorts and a tank top when you don't care if you get a little sweaty.  But if you're wearing a nicer dress, and heels, and want to remain looking presentable, it's really unpleasant. 
    Married 9.12.15
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited October 2015


    Jen4948 said:

    Wow.

    My parents dreamed of their wedding being at their synagogue with their friends and extended relatives...and because my dad was in the Air Force and couldn't get leave from where he was stationed some 1000 miles away they just had a tiny wedding with only their immediate families present...

    Oh wait. It didn't ruin their wedding or their lives that they didn't get their "dream wedding"... and they chose to be adults about it. I guess their situation doesn't compare with yours.

    In fairness, that situation is entirely different than the situation the OP is in. Your parents made a choice to modify their vision because it was inconvenient for THEM to have their dream wedding. In the OP's case, she paid for a venue thinking she'd have two open lots and then they built something she doesn't like on one of the lots, so the venue changed through no choice of her own. Granted, the property has a right to do that as has been discussed, but your analogy about your parents just doesn't fit.


    It was wartime and there was a possibility he would be transferred overseas or killed in action. It was not done that way out of " choice"-they had no way of knowing if my father would come home at all, let alone safely or when, so it was literally get then and there or never. That doesn't sound to me like a "choice." There was nothing "convenient" about getting married where they had no family or friends and could be transferred somewhere else at any time.

    The OP's situation is about giving up a " dream" where there are no life or death issues that prevent her from relocating, rescheduling, or sucking up the fact that some part of her "dream" wedding won't come true.

    You also missed the point that some couples get married and stay happily married when life doesn't allow them to wait and have their "dream" wedding-including my parents, but if they are mature adults, they get over it and make the best of things rather than whining about not getting to have their "dream" wedding.
  • Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Wow. My parents dreamed of their wedding being at their synagogue with their friends and extended relatives...and because my dad was in the Air Force and couldn't get leave from where he was stationed some 1000 miles away they just had a tiny wedding with only their immediate families present... Oh wait. It didn't ruin their wedding or their lives that they didn't get their "dream wedding"... and they chose to be adults about it. I guess their situation doesn't compare with yours.
    In fairness, that situation is entirely different than the situation the OP is in. Your parents made a choice to modify their vision because it was inconvenient for THEM to have their dream wedding. In the OP's case, she paid for a venue thinking she'd have two open lots and then they built something she doesn't like on one of the lots, so the venue changed through no choice of her own. Granted, the property has a right to do that as has been discussed, but your analogy about your parents just doesn't fit.
    It was wartime and there was a possibility he would be transferred overseas or killed in action. It was not done that way out of " choice"-they had no way of knowing if my father would come home at all, let alone safely or when, so it was literally get then or never. That doesn't sound to me like a "choice."
    It WAS a choice. They made the choice to do it. No one forced them to get married then.
    InLoveInQueens
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers


    Jen4948 said:


    Jen4948 said:

    Wow.

    My parents dreamed of their wedding being at their synagogue with their friends and extended relatives...and because my dad was in the Air Force and couldn't get leave from where he was stationed some 1000 miles away they just had a tiny wedding with only their immediate families present...

    Oh wait. It didn't ruin their wedding or their lives that they didn't get their "dream wedding"... and they chose to be adults about it. I guess their situation doesn't compare with yours.

    In fairness, that situation is entirely different than the situation the OP is in. Your parents made a choice to modify their vision because it was inconvenient for THEM to have their dream wedding. In the OP's case, she paid for a venue thinking she'd have two open lots and then they built something she doesn't like on one of the lots, so the venue changed through no choice of her own. Granted, the property has a right to do that as has been discussed, but your analogy about your parents just doesn't fit.
    It was wartime and there was a possibility he would be transferred overseas or killed in action. It was not done that way out of " choice"-they had no way of knowing if my father would come home at all, let alone safely or when, so it was literally get then or never. That doesn't sound to me like a "choice."

    It WAS a choice. They made the choice to do it. No one forced them to get married then.


    Please don't bullshit about "choice" to get married during the Vietnam War when my father was fucking drafted and had exactly two "choices": report for duty and do what he was told, including risk his life, or be court-martialed and go to jail, or not at all. Just don't. It is completely fucking insensitive of you and again totally misses the point of my post: the OP has a fucking hell of a lot more choices about her wedding than an on-duty active service military person during wartime.
  • Wow, I see you cyber bullies are still at it!!  All she wanted was some friendly advice on how to handle this unfortunate change of events to her wedding venue, NOT FOR YOU CYBER BULLIES TO ATTACK HER VENUE.  For all you cyber bullies, this one is for you...


    image
    deannebivmarissaskisses
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