Wedding 911

Venue rights

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Re: Venue rights

  • Oh I know exactly what it means, but obviously you don't...


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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oh I know exactly what it means, but obviously you don't...


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    You really should stop talking about things you don't know about.  It's just embarrassing.  No one was bullied, TOS was not broken.  It's not bullying to point out a shitty idea.  


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    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuiHeffalump
  • edited October 2015
    levioosa said:
    Oh I know exactly what it means, but obviously you don't...


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    You really should stop talking about things you don't know about.  It's just embarrassing.  No one was bullied, TOS was not broken.  It's not bullying to point out a shitty idea.  

    **Removed for TOS Violation**

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Oh I know exactly what it means, but obviously you don't...


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    No, you don't.

    Please read this (CLICK) to get the true definition.  And when dealing solely with adults it is called cyber-stalking or cyber-harassment.  Both of which are not occurring here.  Telling someone that their idea is a bad one or that they need to change their plans or not agreeing with them is not either of those terms.

    Now if you could please point out where a poster(s) has continually harassed, tormented, or threatened OP, I would be very interested in seeing those posts.

    [Deleted User]

  • Well good luck then. For the record, you might want to exercise a bit more maturity in discussions with your vendor. I'd be surprised they'd negotiate with you when you sound like you're a teenager throwing a tantrum.

  • Jedi, we have lived together for 7 years, this is nothing I am new to experiencing please don't address my relationship with your unwanted advice where it is not needed. He makes the majority of the money, so he put in the majority of the wedding money. My job will not allow for any overtime and getting a second job when you can only work 1 day a week or from 6-9 during the week has proven uneventful. Nobody wants to hire someone who can work limited hours. I took a second job and brought in $400 which also went toward the current existing wedding budget.

    He doesn't like spending loads of money on ANYTHING, that's just who he is. I have no problem with it as it means we have money for our life and future together and won't struggle when we get older.

    Let's not get off topic please....thanks for the unwanted advice about my relationship that wasn't needed.
    (1) You brought it up in a way that sounded authoritarian. How the hell do I know your situation, how long you've been together, etc. It would be very good advice for a couple who hasn't been together long, or who has never lived together. You should realize that internet strangers (a) don't always know the whole story and (b) are often the only ones who will say something family and friends won't, because we don't have any repercussions. Don't get defensive or bitchy, just realize it's good advice for some people, but maybe not you. 

    (2) Telling people what they can and cannot say on internet forums never goes well. If you mention it publicly, others have the ability to publicly respond. Say "no, that's not us" and move on, but don't try to dictate the conversation. It tends to rile people up more. 

    (3) I agree with PPs. It seems like you don't want advice, or you only want the advice you want to hear, and we internet strangers should somehow read your mind and know how to (& care to) do that. Good luck with that.

  • Well there you go!  But I'm sure you're not going to get it well...

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  • edited October 2015
    I lived in the USVI for 15+ years.  I worked on a sailboat. I still consider high-80's-90's hot as balls.  I was always the one looking for shade.  Even on the boat I was always on the shady side.

    ::shrugs::
    I'm not familiar with what usvi stands for?? In the town we are getting married in, it gets up past 100 during the summer daily. .. so high 80s is nothing. And again, by wedding time it will be closer to mid 80s
    US Virgin Islands.

    And what exactly do those people wear when it gets to be that hot?  I am guessing suits and cocktail dresses aren't exactly their go to choice, right?
    We aren't requiring formal attire from our guests
    I think you are missing my point.  

    Generally when it is that hot people want to wear shorts, tank tops and sandals.  Most people know that that isn't really appropriate attire for a wedding so they will wear cocktail dresses and suits.  So if it is 85+ degrees they are going to be hot as hell.  Look you may want an all outdoor wedding but shade and fans are most likely going to be needed so you better come to terms with needing those tents.
    I had already taken that into consideration during the planning. .. the reception is shaded by trees and I have expressed that informal attire is acceptable on our wedding site. The secluded area I'm hoping to use as my new ceremony site is under a very large tree, so it is also very shaded.
    Yeah I am getting the feeling that you just don't give a shit about anything but your vision.  So good luck.


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    **Removed for TOS Violation**

  • edited October 2015
    levioosa said:
    Well there you go!  But I'm sure you're not going to get it well...

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    None of those are examples of bullying.  You must fall apart during annual reviews at your job.  
    __________________________________________________Boxes___


    **Removed for TOS Violation**

  • levioosa said:
    Ugh, it's the same troll from the FMIL crisis thread.  I really wish TK would make new users automatically pick a customized name.  Too many knottienumbers all over the place. 

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    __________________________________________________Boxes___________

    Ok....ummmm yeah!!  I see you're a sharp one aren't ya?!


  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers


    Jen4948 said:


    Jen4948 said:


    Jen4948 said:

    Wow.

    My parents dreamed of their wedding being at their synagogue with their friends and extended relatives...and because my dad was in the Air Force and couldn't get leave from where he was stationed some 1000 miles away they just had a tiny wedding with only their immediate families present...

    Oh wait. It didn't ruin their wedding or their lives that they didn't get their "dream wedding"... and they chose to be adults about it. I guess their situation doesn't compare with yours.

    In fairness, that situation is entirely different than the situation the OP is in. Your parents made a choice to modify their vision because it was inconvenient for THEM to have their dream wedding. In the OP's case, she paid for a venue thinking she'd have two open lots and then they built something she doesn't like on one of the lots, so the venue changed through no choice of her own. Granted, the property has a right to do that as has been discussed, but your analogy about your parents just doesn't fit.
    It was wartime and there was a possibility he would be transferred overseas or killed in action. It was not done that way out of " choice"-they had no way of knowing if my father would come home at all, let alone safely or when, so it was literally get then or never. That doesn't sound to me like a "choice."

    It WAS a choice. They made the choice to do it. No one forced them to get married then.
    Please don't bullshit about "choice" to get married during the Vietnam War when my father was fucking drafted and had exactly two "choices": report for duty and do what he was told, including risk his life, or be court-martialed and go to jail, or not at all. Just don't. It is completely fucking insensitive of you and again totally misses the point of my post: the OP has a fucking hell of a lot more choices about her wedding than an on-duty active service military person during wartime.


    Get over yourself, please. No one is being insensitive to your father. I'm saying that your parents' situation is ENTIRELY different and cannot be compared to that of the OP.


    You get over yourself. You referred to my parents' situation as a " choice" when it was not. The OP's is.
  • Wow so this got crazy. OP if you're still around all the advice given here is legit and these ladies know their stuff. I am also curious as to whether the "barn" is for farm use or if you can use it.

    It looks like a small hangar to me and if you Google hangar weddings you can actually find some very nice setups that use a similar space.

    For what its worth in 8 months out also and still havent decided on a venue, per say. I just helped a close friend put her wedding together in 2 months with a ton of diy. You have to look on the bright side, it could be much worse. Orrr you could begin your marriage by being pissy and pouty because you didn't get what you wanted. I have certainly made a lot of sacrifices to my wedding "vision" so far, but at the end of the day, if we only went to the courthouse, we will still be newlyweds. Good luck to you.
    PrettyGirlLostOliveOilsMomshort+sassy
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You get over yourself. You referred to my parents' situation as a " choice" when it was not. The OP's is.

    You said yourself that your parents had two options. Were they awesome or fabulous options? No. But having more than one option available to them, regardless of circumstance and situation is by default having a choice. Not all choices are good, as your parents situation indicates, but it was still a choice. They didn't HAVE to get married. There was no one forcing them to do that. 
    Exactly. There were choices. My father was drafted for the Vietnam war too. He made choices. No one forced your parents to get married. Also, my parents were already married when my dad was drafted, so if you're implying that him getting married saved him, that's not always the case. My dad was drafted anyway. 

    redoryxInLoveInQueensPrettyGirlLostchibiyui
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    ThxSugar said:
    FiancB said:






    People die of heat, weddings aren't magical protection from it that guarantees no one will die. But hey, if your only goal for guest comfort is "nobody died", go for it. I personally really enjoyed hearing from guests that they really enjoyed our wedding, but hey. More important to hear they totally dug that spiral setup that you lifted off of pinterest.

    Looking at the picture, I think it is mostly a really unfortunate people. You know how food pics look like when someone takes a picture indoors with their phone with no idea what they're doing? Diarrhea. It looks like diarrhea. I think that's kind of what is going on with this picture. I'm a little bewildered why they'd choose a canopy like that over something more ornate, but they could even change their minds as time goes on. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. 

    8 months is PLENTY of time to figure something out. Jesus. 
    That looks like a farm structure. . . that you would find on a working farm.  Is OP's wedding venue strictly a wedding and events venue, or is it actually a working farm that rents space to weddings and events?

    Because if it's an actual farm, and can see them building something that serves utility for them over something that looks pretty for the brides.
    Yeah, I can't find the picture again so I don't know if I'm remembering correctly but it looks like something you'd use to cover a riding arena or something like that.
    ------BOX------ I think you are on to something. The picture is on the first page and there is an incomplete text with it. Sounds like they, the venue, also plan on storing produce in there or something. Eta: box
    Yeah, sounds like this "venue" is someone's farm, where they grow and sell produce.  So it's not a wedding or events venue, it's a farm that's also renting out space to weddings and events on the side for extra cash.

    Lurkers, this is the risk you run when you don't use an actual wedding venue for your wedding.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    redoryxchibiyuiInLoveInQueens
  • levioosa said:
    Oh I know exactly what it means, but obviously you don't...


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    You really should stop talking about things you don't know about.  It's just embarrassing.  No one was bullied, TOS was not broken.  It's not bullying to point out a shitty idea.  

    **Removed for TOS Violation**

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    What makes this great is I am late to the party, so I can read all the posts but the ones from Knotie###....

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited October 2015


    You get over yourself. You referred to my parents' situation as a " choice" when it was not. The OP's is.


    You said yourself that your parents had two options. Were they awesome or fabulous options? No. But having more than one option available to them, regardless of circumstance and situation is by default having a choice. Not all choices are good, as your parents situation indicates, but it was still a choice. They didn't HAVE to get married. There was no one forcing them to do that. 

    Exactly. There were choices. My father was drafted for the Vietnam war too. He made choices. No one forced your parents to get married. Also, my parents were already married when my dad was drafted, so if you're implying that him getting married saved him, that's not always the case. My dad was drafted anyway. 

    My dad was drafted too. The point that everyone here is fucking missing is not whether it was a "choice" my parents made to get married, but that they got married in circumstances where the only choice they got to make was to get married at all. They got to make no other "choices" about their wedding-where it was, who was invited, whether to have it in a barn or outdoors-none whatsoever, and ultimately it didn't make any fucking difference to their lives because they've been happily married ever since, whereas the OP is acting like it's such a big fucking deal if she has to have a barn wedding instead of an outdoor wedding.

    OP, grow up and untwist your panties. There are much bigger matters in the world than whether or not your wedding takes place in a barn-like whether it takes place at all.
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2015
    FiancB said:


    Kahlyla said:

    I'm probably going to kick myself for offering actual advice (and yeah, this is all too hot for me, but I'm putting that aside for a moment), but could you:

    1) Do the spiral aisle setup for your ceremony in the big space, then:

    2) Have a cocktail hour in a different space, whether the hideous structure or something else, whilst:

    3) The staff flips the ceremony space into the reception layout

    Many couples do a room flip between ceremony and reception, and while this may represent a few additional costs, that could be an area for negotiation with the venue. i.e. they could offer to accommodate the "room" flip and a few extra tables and such free or at a reduced charge.


    Get out of here with your logic!

    OP wants one of these:

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    But really needs one of these:

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    People die of heat, weddings aren't magical protection from it that guarantees no one will die. But hey, if your only goal for guest comfort is "nobody died", go for it. I personally really enjoyed hearing from guests that they really enjoyed our wedding, but hey. More important to hear they totally dug that spiral setup that you lifted off of pinterest.

    Looking at the picture, I think it is mostly a really unfortunate people. You know how food pics look like when someone takes a picture indoors with their phone with no idea what they're doing? Diarrhea. It looks like diarrhea. I think that's kind of what is going on with this picture. I'm a little bewildered why they'd choose a canopy like that over something more ornate, but they could even change their minds as time goes on. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. 

    8 months is PLENTY of time to figure something out. Jesus. 


    -----------boxes----------

    To the bolded: someone complains.


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    HeffalumpPrettyGirlLost
  • mileybangerzmileybangerz member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    I still wanna hear @marissaskisses church implosion story!
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    AddieCakeparticuliersylphe
  • OMG so I don't check this thing for like 5 months and come back to 6 pages of crazy!! Gotta admit it was a good read LMAO...FYI, in case anyone was wondering...apparently they decided against putting up the monstrosity (they claim it was going to cost them more money than they anticipated) Yes, the venue is a 50 acre farm AND wedding venue. The area they were changing is part of their wedding venue area....so it's not like I was picking Farmer Joe's farm from out of the blue and offering him cash to use it. They hold 2 weddings every weekend and have become quite a popular venue.

    Thanks for the good laugh, and to the handful that were decent human beings while being helpful instead of rude trolls, I appreciate you taking the time to assist in my dilemma!

    Knottie1430025803
  • OMG so I don't check this thing for like 5 months and come back to 6 pages of crazy!! Gotta admit it was a good read LMAO...FYI, in case anyone was wondering...apparently they decided against putting up the monstrosity (they claim it was going to cost them more money than they anticipated) Yes, the venue is a 50 acre farm AND wedding venue. The area they were changing is part of their wedding venue area....so it's not like I was picking Farmer Joe's farm from out of the blue and offering him cash to use it. They hold 2 weddings every weekend and have become quite a popular venue.

    Thanks for the good laugh, and to the handful that were decent human beings while being helpful instead of rude trolls, I appreciate you taking the time to assist in my dilemma!

    @marissaskisses - Glad the property worked out. But what did you do about the coffee bar?
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    levioosa
  • Nixed the coffee... Budget wise it came down to either coffee or appetizers... Mom said appetizers were more important, so we are going with that... Although the fact that she hates coffee may have played a part in that lol!!!

    MesmrEwe
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