Here's the back story.... My fiancé and I have been blessed that my parents have offered to pay for the entire wedding with a generous budget and my finance's parents have offered to plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. Even though the wedding is not for another 8 months, my FMIL wants to start planning for the rehearsal dinner now, and we haven't finalized the wedding guest list nor send the save-the-dates out yet. That seems a little odd to me, but I'm accepting the fact that she's retired and a planner, and likes to have things planned as far in advance as possible. She asked for the RD list the other day and I gave her a list of the 25 that are directly involved in the wedding (including SO's and their kids since those are the only kids that are being invited to the wedding and 2 are in the wedding party and 1 is from out of town),
14 of my out-of-town family (which probably only
5-7 will be able to attend the wedding) and the
20 out-of-town friends and family that are on my MIL's list she gave me for the wedding.
Here's the dilemma... when I sent her the list she said, "Thanks but the list still needs to be cut down." I don't know who to cut from my side since everyone on that list is extremely important to me and although some aren't directly involved in the rehearsal, I couldn't imagine them not being part of all the wedding festivities. I don't want to seem like a brat and say my parents are paying a lot of money for the wedding, so why can't she pay for maybe 7 more people when I know she can afford it. Do I ask her who she thinks should be cut from my wedding party and out-of-town family and then offer to pay for them or just cut them out completely and deal with my family asking why they're not invited? I am extremely grateful that my fiance's parents even offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but I'm a little offended that they won't include my close, out-of-town family when my parents are paying a lot of money for all of their family and friends at the wedding.