Is this okay- or tacky? STD

justsie · October 2015

Knottie1436667554 said:

I agree with other posters that you should probably send your invites out earlier than 8 weeks, I'm talking about sending mine 3-3.5 months before the wedding because we also have many OOT guests.

That isn't what other posters stated. Invites should not go out more than 8 weeks earlier than the wedding/RSVP date. It's save the dates that are sent out prior to that. 3-3.5 months is too far out from the wedding for invitations.

APDSS22 · October 2015

marissaskisses said:

changingmylastname said:

So my fiancé and I got engaged at the end of March. I had originally thought that I would not send save the dates out, even though most of his family is from out of town, and maybe I should. We are getting married April 16, 2016.
My question is: is it weird or tacky to send our save the dates out in the form of a Christmas card in late Nov./Dec. or is that too close to when I should be sending invites? Also, when should invites be sent for our April wedding?

I've read that if you are having many out of state/town guests who will have to arrange travel save the dates should be sent out about 8 months prior to the wedding...This means in your case they should have been sent out in August. Since people have to arrange travel it's best to give them as much notice as possible. I would not wait til November personally.

Our wedding is June of next year and due to travel for guests, people getting time off of work and choosing an outfit (it's a themed event and we are inviting guests to dress in theme) we have decided to send invites out this month, allowing the full 8 months for everyone to plan.

I would rethink the "inviting guests to dress in theme" idea. Your guests are not props and depending on how you word that request, it could sound like you demand every guest wears a costume that matches your vision or to not bother showing up.

OwningAHome1981 · November 2015

I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.

Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.

photokitty · November 2015

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.

Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc

Jen4948 · November 2015

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc

You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.

photokitty · November 2015

Jen4948 said:

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.

Why does your response not surprise me...

If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive!

I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

STARMOON44 · November 2015

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc

I think it's strange to send people you know well enough to know that they don't celebrate a holiday a card wishing them a happy holiday. It's not about being PC, it's about having some awareness of who they people in your life are, and respecting that. It isn't difficult to buy a few Happy New Year cards and send those instead.

I think a party invitation is different. I'm not telling you to have a happy holiday you don't actually celebrate, I'm inviting you to be part of mine. I have about 10 Jewish friends on my tree-trimming party invite list, but won't be wishing any of them a Merry Christmas.

I think it's easy to flounce and declare simple consideration PC nonsense when you're a member of a privileged majority group, but it's actually just about being thoughtful. I don't think most people would be offended by a slip up, but to deliberately declare you will not bother making any attempt to be respectful isn't nice.

Viczaesar · November 2015

photokitty said:

I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc

Yes. Why is that surprising?

Viczaesar · November 2015

photokitty said:

I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.
Why does your response not surprise me... If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive! I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

Or, you know, you could just say "Happy Holidays."

CMGragain · November 2015

"Season's Greetings"?

MesmrEwe · November 2015

If they're friends enough to get a Christmas letter/engagement announcement, they're friends enough to know if you need a couple "Happy Winter Solstice" cards along with "Happy Hanukah" to send along with it instead of a Christmas card... No need for people to get offended, the OP knows her circle..

photokitty · November 2015

Viczaesar said:

photokitty said:

Jen4948 said:

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.
Why does your response not surprise me...

If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive!

I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

Or, you know, you could just say "Happy Holidays."

True, for the month of December. What about Halloween?

Like I said, I'll happily take any well wishes. If I get a Hanukkah card, which I have, I'm not offended. I'm glad my friend thought of me. Some people just go around looking for reasons to be offended.

STARMOON44 · November 2015

photokitty said:

Viczaesar said:

photokitty said:

Jen4948 said:

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.
Why does your response not surprise me...

If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive!

I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

Or, you know, you could just say "Happy Holidays."

True, for the month of December. What about Halloween?

Like I said, I'll happily take any well wishes. If I get a Hanukkah card, which I have, I'm not offended. I'm glad my friend thought of me. Some people just go around looking for reasons to be offended.

Like you, flouncing over the horrors of acknowledging that not everyone is Christian.

photokitty · November 2015

STARMOON44 said:

photokitty said:

Viczaesar said:

photokitty said:

Jen4948 said:

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.
Why does your response not surprise me...

If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive!

I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

Or, you know, you could just say "Happy Holidays."
True, for the month of December. What about Halloween?

Like I said, I'll happily take any well wishes. If I get a Hanukkah card, which I have, I'm not offended. I'm glad my friend thought of me. Some people just go around looking for reasons to be offended.

Like you, flouncing over the horrors of acknowledging that not everyone is Christian.

Or you assuming I'm Christian. Just bc I get together with family on Xmas doesn't mean I'm Christian. I know that majority of the world isn't Christian. I don't believe there is a war on Xmas. I also don't believe people should assume the worst when people say something with good intentions.

Mentalities like this are the same ones that result in people getting up in arms over Starbucks holiday cups. People just looking for and/or assuming the worst.

I don't discuss religion with many of my friends, so I wouldn't know if they would find a particular greeting or card offensive. Politics, sex and religion were topics not for polite conversation, or so I was raised.

Viczaesar · November 2015

photokitty said:

photokitty said:

I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.
Why does your response not surprise me... If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive! I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

Or, you know, you could just say "Happy Holidays."
True, for the month of December. What about Halloween? Like I said, I'll happily take any well wishes. If I get a Hanukkah card, which I have, I'm not offended. I'm glad my friend thought of me. Some people just go around looking for reasons to be offended.

If you send Halloween cards, don't send them to people who don't celebrate Halloween. Easy solution.

southernbelle0915 · November 2015

Our neighbors are Jewish. I make sure to wish them a happy Hanukkah because I know that's what they celebrate - not Christmas. Visa versa, they wish me merry Christmas. It'd be pretty weird if they wished me happy Hanukkah. I'd say thanks, but just think they forgot I wasn't Jewish. I'm sure they'd think the same if I said merry Christmas.

Especially for people we're close to and know what they celebrate, I always wish them a happy (insert holiday they observe).

STARMOON44 · November 2015

photokitty said:

STARMOON44 said:

photokitty said:

Viczaesar said:

photokitty said:

Jen4948 said:

photokitty said:

OwningAHome1981 said:
I think a combined Christmas card/STD is weird... plus, not everyone is catholic. I'm jewish and if I received a Christmas card from someone who knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, I'd def be like WTF.
Even if it's non-denominational, like a generic 'happy holidays', I still say def keep it separate.
Seriously? My Jewish friend gets a Xmas card from us and comes over on Xmas eve. Are you suggesting its better to not send a non Christian an Xmas card? Or are we all obligated to buy all the different holiday cards and send the one appropriate to their faith or non faith? This is way too pc for me. I will take any well wishes you are giving out, be it Xmas, kawanza, etc
You and your friends and I might do that, but there are people of all backgrounds who would be offended by cards and invitations to celebrations of holidays they don't observe. So I would advise not taking it for granted that everyone, regardless of their background, will take well wishes offered by persons of other backgrounds, and 1) find out how the other person feels about those well wishes and 2) respect their feelings. Just because it's PC doesn't make it wrong.
Why does your response not surprise me...

If someone wants to be offended bc I invite them to a party for a holiday they don't celebrate, than I'm perfectly fine with them ending the friendship. Talk about over sensitive!

I'll be sure to ask the cashier if they observe a holiday before wishing them one... as always, thanks for the super helpful advise

Or, you know, you could just say "Happy Holidays."
True, for the month of December. What about Halloween?

Like I said, I'll happily take any well wishes. If I get a Hanukkah card, which I have, I'm not offended. I'm glad my friend thought of me. Some people just go around looking for reasons to be offended.

Like you, flouncing over the horrors of acknowledging that not everyone is Christian.

Or you assuming I'm Christian. Just bc I get together with family on Xmas doesn't mean I'm Christian. I know that majority of the world isn't Christian. I don't believe there is a war on Xmas. I also don't believe people should assume the worst when people say something with good intentions.

Mentalities like this are the same ones that result in people getting up in arms over Starbucks holiday cups. People just looking for and/or assuming the worst.

I don't discuss religion with many of my friends, so I wouldn't know if they would find a particular greeting or card offensive. Politics, sex and religion were topics not for polite conversation, or so I was raised.

Girl please. You're the one looking for the worst when you react to a simple reminder that Christmas cards are not always appropriate with omg fine then I guess I just can never say anything to anyone because you never know when they might bizarrely chose to take offense.

[Deleted User] · November 2015

I used to do tenant services for a large downtown highrise. Once, in early December, I was tasked with delivering towers-o-chocolate to our tenants. It was my 20th delivery of the day, I was tired and not thinking, and I walked into a tenant office and told them, "Merry Christmas." This was a Jewish office, they all had Jewish names and did Jewish work. I just wasn't thinking at that point in the day. One of the girls whipped around to scowl at me when she heard Merry Christmas. But she saw the Tower-o-Chocolate at the same moment as I realized my mistake. And her scowl turned into a smile, because who cares what the greeting is when chocolate is involved? They thanked me and wished me a Happy Hanukah, and all was well with the tenant relations in my building.

Is this okay- or tacky? STD

Re: Is this okay- or tacky? STD

Choose Another Board

Search Boards