Wedding Etiquette Forum

Celebration Party

Hello all.

I'm new here so forgive me if this has been asked and answered before. We are looking to do a very small, immediate family only wedding at city hall. Afterwards, we want to take our families to dinner as our reception.

We would like to have a party at a later time to celebrate our wedding with extended friends and family. We will not be redoing are ceremony, and we will not be hiding the fact from anyone that we are already married. It will simply be a party, with a sit-down dinner/bar and DJ for dancing after the fact.

Is there a time frame within which this should be done? Or rather, what would be "too long" to wait to have this party?

Thanks in advance for your input.
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Re: Celebration Party

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well, I don't think there's any particular time frame you need to do this in, but if you have the party close to your first anniversary, you might as well make it an anniversary celebration. If you prefer that it be a "post-wedding" celebration and not an anniversary celebration, you should probably do it within about six months from your wedding.
  • This party will not be a part of your wedding, so you can have it whenever you wish.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29
  • We got married in the UK (where I'm from) and then my MIL threw a celebration of marriage party in the US where we live for everyone who couldn't travel. Ours was just less than three months after our wedding and to be honest it started to feel to me as though it was odd to be celebrating so long after the wedding, so from personal experience I wouldn't have it more than three months after the wedding but if you can I would do it sooner.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yeah, why not just do it after the wedding?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Regarding why we are planning two separate parties, it's because we would like the marriage ceremony to be personal with just our families. Money isn't the concern, this is just how we are choosing to do our wedding. We would still like to have a party for our friends and extended family after the fact. Kind of like if we had a destination wedding and a party back at home afterward.

    @littlestmonkey I had that concern as well that it would feel too far removed from the wedding. The issue is that venues are booked pretty far in advance since we'd be looking at May at the earliest for this party. A lot of places have availability in November (next year) but it seems far from a march wedding ceremony.
    SP29
  • I would think you would want to do it with a month maybe 2 just because at some point it seems too long of a break between them
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    TTTC2016 said:

    Regarding why we are planning two separate parties, it's because we would like the marriage ceremony to be personal with just our families. Money isn't the concern, this is just how we are choosing to do our wedding. We would still like to have a party for our friends and extended family after the fact. Kind of like if we had a destination wedding and a party back at home afterward.

    @littlestmonkey I had that concern as well that it would feel too far removed from the wedding. The issue is that venues are booked pretty far in advance since we'd be looking at May at the earliest for this party. A lot of places have availability in November (next year) but it seems far from a march wedding ceremony.

    Why?

    If you don't want these people to witness your ceremony, which is the important aspect of a wedding day, then why would you want to have a party with them after the fact to celebrate your marriage with them. . . that they didn't witness?

    These parties make no sense to me.
    Me either.
  • You should not wear your wedding dress at this party, since it is not a part of your wedding, and your wedding will be long over.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:

    TTTC2016 said:

    Regarding why we are planning two separate parties, it's because we would like the marriage ceremony to be personal with just our families. Money isn't the concern, this is just how we are choosing to do our wedding. We would still like to have a party for our friends and extended family after the fact. Kind of like if we had a destination wedding and a party back at home afterward.

    @littlestmonkey I had that concern as well that it would feel too far removed from the wedding. The issue is that venues are booked pretty far in advance since we'd be looking at May at the earliest for this party. A lot of places have availability in November (next year) but it seems far from a march wedding ceremony.

    Why?

    If you don't want these people to witness your ceremony, which is the important aspect of a wedding day, then why would you want to have a party with them after the fact to celebrate your marriage with them. . . that they didn't witness?

    These parties make no sense to me.
    Me either.
    Add me into the "don't understand this" party.

  • Add me to the list as well. If I was invited to this kind of party I probably wouldn't come, I'd see it as a gift grab (even though it isn't a wedding I'd still feel like I needed to bring a gift). Especially considering I wasn't good enough to come to the actual wedding.
    image
    STARMOON44
  • Thanks for the advice that you don't get them or wouldn't attend one...not particularly on point with what I was asking.

    If my friend or family member chose to have a private ceremony I would respect their choice for their ceremony but still want to celebrate them because I love them and understand that they are entitled to get married however they choose to get married. 

    My question was whether anyone had information on whether there was an expected time frame. Thank you for those who gave information about what was asked.




    Knottie18169567
  • Understood. I don't intend on wearing a wedding dress, regardless of the time that has passed.
    CMGragain
  • @TTTC2016  - Plan your celebration party for whenever you want! I've been to 2 of these celebrations recently: One friend held hers about a year later when her husband was home for leave and another held hers a couple of weeks after the actual ceremony.

    Do what feels right for you and makes you happy. Don't let anyone discourage you! 

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Just b/c you didn't ask about it doesn't mean we can't engage in conversation about it. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Maggie0829[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostsouthernbelle0915
  • I get where some people are coming from, that it can be a little weird to attend one of these "celebration of marriage" parties, but at the same time I sort of think to each their own (as long as they're not trying to pretend to be anything they're not).

    I had a good friend who had one of these, I wasn't invited to the wedding, but I was to the party. I went and had a blast! It honestly didn't feel any different then if they just had a regular party, but that's because everyone who was there was all local, it wasn't like anyone had to get a hotel for the weekend and no one felt obligated to bring gifts. So, just be weary about who you're inviting and have zero expectations around gifts (not that you should ever have expectations around them). 

    In regards to your question about timing, I think you should do either 2-3 months after the wedding or do it around your anniversary.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    JediElizabeth
  • I get where some people are coming from, that it can be a little weird to attend one of these "celebration of marriage" parties, but at the same time I sort of think to each their own (as long as they're not trying to pretend to be anything they're not).

    I had a good friend who had one of these, I wasn't invited to the wedding, but I was to the party. I went and had a blast! It honestly didn't feel any different then if they just had a regular party, but that's because everyone who was there was all local, it wasn't like anyone had to get a hotel for the weekend and no one felt obligated to bring gifts. So, just be weary about who you're inviting and have zero expectations around gifts (not that you should ever have expectations around them). 

    In regards to your question about timing, I think you should do either 2-3 months after the wedding or do it around your anniversary.
    Thanks for this advice. We have no expectations for girts and would prefer not receiving any. We don't need anything since have lived on our own for a while, so there's no expectations about receiving anything from anyone. We just want to have a nice dinner and party with our friends and family.

    We were leaning toward having it closer to the actually ceremony, I just don't know if it would work out with booking a venue that we would like.
    JediElizabethKnottie18169567
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would skip it, OP. It is generally in poor taste to throw a party where you are the guests of honor.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    TTTC2016 said:
    Thanks for the advice that you don't get them or wouldn't attend one...not particularly on point with what I was asking.

    If my friend or family member chose to have a private ceremony I would respect their choice for their ceremony but still want to celebrate them because I love them and understand that they are entitled to get married however they choose to get married. 

    My question was whether anyone had information on whether there was an expected time frame. Thank you for those who gave information about what was asked.




    This is a discussion board.  As such, people will comment on and discuss anything and everything related to your OP, whether that is "on point" or not.  That's the nature of a discussion board.

    Discussions are great because they often can give you perspective on things you might not have even considered, if you are open to actually listening to and considering what you are being told.

    Case in point, despite not being specifically asked for, many posters are giving you feedback that they don't understand the point of this celebration of marriage party to want to throw, and some are saying that they would actually be a bit offended and decline an invite to such a party.

    I love my family and friends, which is why being included in their actual wedding ceremony or witnessing it is important to me.

    Being invited to a party to celebrate the wedding I wasn't invited to would rub me the wrong way- it would say to me that I wasn't important enough to witness their actual wedding, regardless of the Reasons, but that they'd still like a wedding gift from me; Because the point of this party after the fact is to celebrate your marriage, so many people brought up with a certain level of etiquette are going to feel obligated to bring you a gift.

    If you want to have a private ceremony and a small reception, then do that and just leave it at that.  If you want to celebrate your marriage with a larger group of people, then invite them to your actual wedding ceremony so that you can actually celebrate your marriage with them.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    [Deleted User]thisismynickname2BostonLilly12OpenHeart0117
  • But why don't you want these people witnessing your ceremony?  I guess this is where the "I don't get this" lies.  You want to celebrate your marriage with these people yet you don't deem them good enough to actually witness the thing you are celebrating.  Why?  I have yet to go to a wedding that I felt uncomfortable at because of how intimate the ceremony was.  I mean people making vows to one another isn't, to me, a super intimate thing.  It isn't like you are going at it at the alter.

    Maybe she wants to be able to dedicate more attention to her ceremony guests than typical brides are able to. By having fewer people at the ceremony, she will be able to focus more attention on each of her guests and make the experience more personal, memorable, and family oriented. 

    Saying that the people invited to the celebration party aren't "good enough" to watch her ceremony is pretty silly. She wants to get married solely in front of immediate family. It's not like she wants to have a 75 person wedding with all her family and friends and then throw a second party so all the B-listers can celebrate with her at a later date. She wants to have an extremely intimate wedding ceremony with their most special loved ones without the political fluff associated with extended family/larger weddings. 


    TTTC2016JediElizabethEarthyBride2017
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    But why don't you want these people witnessing your ceremony?  I guess this is where the "I don't get this" lies.  You want to celebrate your marriage with these people yet you don't deem them good enough to actually witness the thing you are celebrating.  Why?  I have yet to go to a wedding that I felt uncomfortable at because of how intimate the ceremony was.  I mean people making vows to one another isn't, to me, a super intimate thing.  It isn't like you are going at it at the alter.

    Maybe she wants to be able to dedicate more attention to her ceremony guests than typical brides are able to. By having fewer people at the ceremony, she will be able to focus more attention on each of her guests and make the experience more personal, memorable, and family oriented. 

    Saying that the people invited to the celebration party aren't "good enough" to watch her ceremony is pretty silly. She wants to get married solely in front of immediate family. It's not like she wants to have a 75 person wedding with all her family and friends and then throw a second party so all the B-listers can celebrate with her at a later date. She wants to have an extremely intimate wedding ceremony with their most special loved ones without the political fluff associated with extended family/larger weddings. 


    The first bolded is ridiculous.  If that was true then that doesn't say very much about the people invited to the consolation party.  Not only do they not get to witness the point of the celebration but they are also not important enough to be given special attention by the couple

    But if OP wants to get married in front of only a select few people then why does she then feel it necessary to celebrate said marriage with a bunch of people at a later date?

    And no I don't think saying that those invited to just the party aren't good enough is silly.  That is how I feel.  The ceremony is the entire point of the day and the entire reason why a marriage celebration is even happening.  Why aren't these people good enough to witness the ceremony?

    I will never understand having multiple parties for one event.  You get married.  You invite those that you wish to witness and celebrate with.  Then you are done.  If you don't want certain people to witness you get married then don't have a party because you want to celebrate your marriage with them.  If they aren't good enough or close enough to watch you actually get married then don't throw a consolation prize just because you want your cake and eat it too.

    PrettyGirlLostthisismynickname2
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think as long as the ceremony is very intimate, and your guests aren't deceived (as you stated they wouldn't be) this is fine.  

    It is very common in my family for a couple to elope or have a very small DW and then throw a party after.  Some brides have worn their dresses, others haven't.  My family is very large and very close despite not getting together often, so we'll jump at the opportunity to party together for any reason.

    That said, I can see why some people would prefer not to attend a party.  But some people would choose not to attend your wedding if they were invited anyways, so IMO it's a little 6 to one, half a dozen to another.

    In our family, they are usually held within a month or so of the wedding.
    image
    NotATotalBettybunnyprincess2014
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2015
    But why don't you want these people witnessing your ceremony?  I guess this is where the "I don't get this" lies.  You want to celebrate your marriage with these people yet you don't deem them good enough to actually witness the thing you are celebrating.  Why?  I have yet to go to a wedding that I felt uncomfortable at because of how intimate the ceremony was.  I mean people making vows to one another isn't, to me, a super intimate thing.  It isn't like you are going at it at the alter.

    Maybe she wants to be able to dedicate more attention to her ceremony guests than typical brides are able to. By having fewer people at the ceremony, she will be able to focus more attention on each of her guests and make the experience more personal, memorable, and family oriented. 

    Saying that the people invited to the celebration party aren't "good enough" to watch her ceremony is pretty silly.  Not really, that's pretty much exactly what is going on. . . certain people make the cut to attend the actual wedding over another group of people for Reasons.  That's fine, we all have to make those decisions when hosting weddings, however typically we just don't invite those that we can't for Reasons and just leave it at that.  We don't throw another party at a later date in an attempt in include them in something that they weren't included in initially.  That's what gives the perception of some being better than others.  She wants to get married solely in front of immediate family. It's not like she wants to have a 75 person wedding with all her family and friends and then throw a second party so all the B-listers can celebrate with her at a later date. She wants to have an extremely intimate wedding ceremony with their most special loved ones without the political fluff associated with extended family/larger weddings.
    Ok. . . so then what's the point of the larger party later?  Why don't people just host the wedding they want, and then leave it at that?



    I had a 150 person reception (invited 200 total).  Besides those that had to decline, there were easily another 30-50 people I wished I could have invited, plus all the people our parents wished they could have invited.  But we didn't host another party later on to include all those additional people in our "wedding day", KWIM?

    ETA:  Sure, you can throw a party for whatever reason you want to, but personally I don't get the logic or rationale behind these parties.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829
  • But why don't you want these people witnessing your ceremony?  I guess this is where the "I don't get this" lies.  You want to celebrate your marriage with these people yet you don't deem them good enough to actually witness the thing you are celebrating.  Why?  I have yet to go to a wedding that I felt uncomfortable at because of how intimate the ceremony was.  I mean people making vows to one another isn't, to me, a super intimate thing.  It isn't like you are going at it at the alter.

    Maybe she wants to be able to dedicate more attention to her ceremony guests than typical brides are able to. By having fewer people at the ceremony, she will be able to focus more attention on each of her guests and make the experience more personal, memorable, and family oriented. 

    Saying that the people invited to the celebration party aren't "good enough" to watch her ceremony is pretty silly. She wants to get married solely in front of immediate family. It's not like she wants to have a 75 person wedding with all her family and friends and then throw a second party so all the B-listers can celebrate with her at a later date. She wants to have an extremely intimate wedding ceremony with their most special loved ones without the political fluff associated with extended family/larger weddings. 


    The first bolded is ridiculous.  If that was true then that doesn't say very much about the people invited to the consolation party.  Not only do they not get to witness the point of the celebration but they are also not important enough to be given special attention by the couple

    But if OP wants to get married in front of only a select few people then why does she then feel it necessary to celebrate said marriage with a bunch of people at a later date?

    And no I don't think saying that those invited to just the party aren't good enough is silly.  That is how I feel.  The ceremony is the entire point of the day and the entire reason why a marriage celebration is even happening.  Why aren't these people good enough to witness the ceremony?

    I will never understand having multiple parties for one event.  You get married.  You invite those that you wish to witness and celebrate with.  Then you are done.  If you don't want certain people to witness you get married then don't have a party because you want to celebrate your marriage with them.  If they aren't good enough or close enough to watch you actually get married then don't throw a consolation prize just because you want your cake and eat it too.

    @Maggie0829    
    In regards to the first bolded item - this is not ridiculous at all. She wants to focus her attention on the people most important to her on her and her future husband's special day. Why would you be offended that you aren't invited to a wedding ceremony that is only attended by immediate family? 

    If a bride has 100 guests opposed to only immediate family (say 20 people), she will less time to spend with each of guests. This has nothing to do with the people invited to the celebration party nor is that party a consolation party. 

    When someone graduates high school/college or something like that, a graduation party is thrown. All of the attendees may not have been invited to the graduation ceremony, but that doesn't make it a consolation party. Those attendees are there to celebrate and show their support for the graduate.  

    This is basically the same case with the OP's celebration party. She wants to celebrate not only her recent ceremony, but also the path that took her there. 

    EarthyBride2017
  • @TTTC2016   I think we will end up doing something very similar to you (hopefully finalizing our plans in the next two months).

    My fiancé had expressed his strong desire for a big reception or party with extended family/friends/colleagues, but he only wants our closest family members present at the ceremony, and thought that was fine to do on the same day.  After two months of chat and me explaining that that is rude and against etiquette, and not acceptable to me, we structured a compromise.   (He says he still doesn't care about the etiquette).

    So we are likely going to:

    -Have a destination wedding and reception with our immediate families (probably 12 people max)

    -Have a party-celebration to invite all family/friends/colleagues a week or two after we get back from wedding/honeymoon.  No dress, dance, cake, wedding redo, reception-y stuff, just some good food and drinks for our guests and good times.   

    I'd rather just have everyone at ceremony + reception, but ultimately it was most important to him to have an intimate ceremony, and it was most important to me to not be rude.  The destination wedding and celebration with others later is a compromise.  I completely understand why some people just don't like destination weddings at all for this reason, and would understand if some people choose not to come to the party-celebration.

    In answer to your question about timing, we're planning to have the party within two weeks of getting back, in part because then it's easier to account for in budgeting process now (we're thinking May/June 2017), and in part because multiple months later, it would seem late or oddly timed. 

    Enjoy your wedding, dinner, and party!
    Knottie18169567
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    But why don't you want these people witnessing your ceremony?  I guess this is where the "I don't get this" lies.  You want to celebrate your marriage with these people yet you don't deem them good enough to actually witness the thing you are celebrating.  Why?  I have yet to go to a wedding that I felt uncomfortable at because of how intimate the ceremony was.  I mean people making vows to one another isn't, to me, a super intimate thing.  It isn't like you are going at it at the alter.

    Maybe she wants to be able to dedicate more attention to her ceremony guests than typical brides are able to. By having fewer people at the ceremony, she will be able to focus more attention on each of her guests and make the experience more personal, memorable, and family oriented. 

    Saying that the people invited to the celebration party aren't "good enough" to watch her ceremony is pretty silly. She wants to get married solely in front of immediate family. It's not like she wants to have a 75 person wedding with all her family and friends and then throw a second party so all the B-listers can celebrate with her at a later date. She wants to have an extremely intimate wedding ceremony with their most special loved ones without the political fluff associated with extended family/larger weddings. 


    The first bolded is ridiculous.  If that was true then that doesn't say very much about the people invited to the consolation party.  Not only do they not get to witness the point of the celebration but they are also not important enough to be given special attention by the couple

    But if OP wants to get married in front of only a select few people then why does she then feel it necessary to celebrate said marriage with a bunch of people at a later date?

    And no I don't think saying that those invited to just the party aren't good enough is silly.  That is how I feel.  The ceremony is the entire point of the day and the entire reason why a marriage celebration is even happening.  Why aren't these people good enough to witness the ceremony?

    I will never understand having multiple parties for one event.  You get married.  You invite those that you wish to witness and celebrate with.  Then you are done.  If you don't want certain people to witness you get married then don't have a party because you want to celebrate your marriage with them.  If they aren't good enough or close enough to watch you actually get married then don't throw a consolation prize just because you want your cake and eat it too.

    @Maggie0829    
    In regards to the first bolded item - this is not ridiculous at all. She wants to focus her attention on the people most important to her on her and her future husband's special day. Why would you be offended that you aren't invited to a wedding ceremony that is only attended by immediate family? 

    If a bride has 100 guests opposed to only immediate family (say 20 people), she will less time to spend with each of guests. This has nothing to do with the people invited to the celebration party nor is that party a consolation party. 

    When someone graduates high school/college or something like that, a graduation party is thrown. All of the attendees may not have been invited to the graduation ceremony, but that doesn't make it a consolation party. Those attendees are there to celebrate and show their support for the graduate.  

    This is basically the same case with the OP's celebration party. She wants to celebrate not only her recent ceremony, but also the path that took her there. 

    If all she wants to invite to her wedding is a handful of people, then that is fine.  But what I don't understand is then having a big party for everyone else to celebrate her marriage.  If she wants to celebrate with everyone then why are only certain people good enough to see the actual ceremony?

    And comparing graduations and weddings is ridiculous.  The couple getting married has complete control over who they invite.  A person graduating is at the mercy of the school and how many tickets they are given.  So really these are apples and oranges.

    I'm sorry but no one will ever convince me that all these parties are necessary.  I will never understand how someone wants to celebrate with a bunch of people but they don't want to include them in the most important aspect, which is the ceremony.  It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and makes me feel like people are A, B and C listing their guests which is never a good idea.

    If someone wants an small wedding and that means that I don't get an invite then I am cool with that.  They are allowed to have whatever type of wedding they want.  But if I then get an invite to celebrate their marriage I will wonder why I wasn't good enough to witness their ceremony.  What is it about me and the many others where they didn't think enough of us to see them get married?

    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]MyNameIsNotSCHuck
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    But why don't you want these people witnessing your ceremony?  I guess this is where the "I don't get this" lies.  You want to celebrate your marriage with these people yet you don't deem them good enough to actually witness the thing you are celebrating.  Why?  I have yet to go to a wedding that I felt uncomfortable at because of how intimate the ceremony was.  I mean people making vows to one another isn't, to me, a super intimate thing.  It isn't like you are going at it at the alter.

    Maybe she wants to be able to dedicate more attention to her ceremony guests than typical brides are able to. By having fewer people at the ceremony, she will be able to focus more attention on each of her guests and make the experience more personal, memorable, and family oriented. 

    Saying that the people invited to the celebration party aren't "good enough" to watch her ceremony is pretty silly. She wants to get married solely in front of immediate family. It's not like she wants to have a 75 person wedding with all her family and friends and then throw a second party so all the B-listers can celebrate with her at a later date. She wants to have an extremely intimate wedding ceremony with their most special loved ones without the political fluff associated with extended family/larger weddings. 


    The first bolded is ridiculous.  If that was true then that doesn't say very much about the people invited to the consolation party.  Not only do they not get to witness the point of the celebration but they are also not important enough to be given special attention by the couple

    But if OP wants to get married in front of only a select few people then why does she then feel it necessary to celebrate said marriage with a bunch of people at a later date?

    And no I don't think saying that those invited to just the party aren't good enough is silly.  That is how I feel.  The ceremony is the entire point of the day and the entire reason why a marriage celebration is even happening.  Why aren't these people good enough to witness the ceremony?

    I will never understand having multiple parties for one event.  You get married.  You invite those that you wish to witness and celebrate with.  Then you are done.  If you don't want certain people to witness you get married then don't have a party because you want to celebrate your marriage with them.  If they aren't good enough or close enough to watch you actually get married then don't throw a consolation prize just because you want your cake and eat it too.

    @Maggie0829    
    In regards to the first bolded item - this is not ridiculous at all. She wants to focus her attention on the people most important to her on her and her future husband's special day. Why would you be offended that you aren't invited to a wedding ceremony that is only attended by immediate family?  We wouldn't.  People don't make the cut for weddings for Reasons all.the.time.  But then we don't need or want to be invited to a consolation party to celebrate an event that we were not actually invited to in the 1st place.  That's the point. 

    That's where it now comes off as Group A was important enough to attend the actual wedding while Group B wasn't, but Group B can be invited to this party to celebrate the wedding they weren't invited to in the 1st place.  And if he Bride and Groom can only focus their attention on 15 or 20 people (though I thikn that's too many to be considered an "intimate" wedding) then how are they going to be able to focus their attention on all of these additional people at this other party now?

    This logic makes no sense.

    Have a small intimate wedding and reception if you want to!  But personally I'd skip the larger party afterwards- it's gratuitous, illogical, and comes off as AW and gift grabby.

    If a bride has 100 guests opposed to only immediate family (say 20 people), she will less time to spend with each of guests. This has nothing to do with the people invited to the celebration party nor is that party a consolation party. 

    When someone graduates high school/college or something like that, a graduation party is thrown. All of the attendees may not have been invited to the graduation ceremony, but that doesn't make it a consolation party. Those attendees are there to celebrate and show their support for the graduate.  

    This is basically the same case with the OP's celebration party. She wants to celebrate not only her recent ceremony, but also the path that took her there. 



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829JBee85[Deleted User]
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