Is it rude to get married on a Thursday?

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

We went on a cruise this past week, and met a couple that planned on doing this, they said they were so exhausted after the wedding that they just crashed.. I didn't have a stressful day, I slept well the night before, and I still passed out almost in my dress because we forgot to unbutton the 25 buttons over the zipper before we left the reception..

[Deleted User] · October 2015

I think that you can have your wedding on whatever day you want to! Yes more people may decline but the important people would be there.

banana468 · October 2015

TheFreshwaterDame said:
I think that you can have your wedding on whatever day you want to! Yes more people may decline but the important people would be there.

That logic makes no sense. If you didn't clear the date worth the "important people" then what if they have commitments that they must meet?

And would you even say that to the "unimportant "?

[Deleted User] · October 2015

banana468 said:

I think that you can have your wedding on whatever day you want to! Yes more people may decline but the important people would be there.
That logic makes no sense. If you didn't clear the date worth the "important people" then what if they have commitments that they must meet? And would you even say that to the "unimportant "?

Wasn't trying to get into an argument or offend. I was just saying that I think that if you're important to to someone they would do their best to be there if it's on any day of the week.

banana468 · October 2015

TheFreshwaterDame said:

banana468 said:

TheFreshwaterDame said:
I think that you can have your wedding on whatever day you want to! Yes more people may decline but the important people would be there.
That logic makes no sense. If you didn't clear the date worth the "important people" then what if they have commitments that they must meet?

And would you even say that to the "unimportant "?

Wasn't trying to get into an argument or offend. I was just saying that I think that if you're important to to someone they would do their best to be there if it's on any day of the week.

I think that's a dangerous way of thinking. IMO the better thing is to clear the date worth those on your "must attend" list. If you dont, no amount of personal closeness may get some guests out of prior commitments. And the guilt felt by both parties is the suck.

AddieCake · October 2015

Yeah, even if I truly cared and wanted to be there, it's possible you've chosen a date that I simply can't.

Viczaesar · October 2015

TheFreshwaterDame said:

banana468 said:

I think that you can have your wedding on whatever day you want to! Yes more people may decline but the important people would be there.
That logic makes no sense. If you didn't clear the date worth the "important people" then what if they have commitments that they must meet? And would you even say that to the "unimportant "?

Wasn't trying to get into an argument or offend. I was just saying that I think that if you're important to to someone they would do their best to be there if it's on any day of the week.

That's a shitty attitude. You're basically saying "I don't care if it's inconsiderate of me, they should bend over backwards to accommodate me but I'm not obligated to try to accommodate them and their schedules at all."

[Deleted User] · October 2015

I am accomadating as many people as possible. Our entire guest list is important to us. Only a few people will be taking time off from work ( and the wedding starts at 6pm so it could also come down to leaving work early... Our OOT guests have been told the date and day of the week, they also know that if they can't make it, we'll miss them, but we get it. Its also why I listed several hotels nearby in different price ranges. Of you want a historical by the Riverdale Hotel, awesome, if you want something more low key, equally awesome. I was just thrown by the comment that I was being rude.

redoryx · October 2015

BaileySanders said:

I am accomadating as many people as possible. Our entire guest list is important to us. Only a few people will be taking time off from work ( and the wedding starts at 6pm so it could also come down to leaving work early... Our OOT guests have been told the date and day of the week, they also know that if they can't make it, we'll miss them, but we get it. Its also why I listed several hotels nearby in different price ranges. Of you want a historical by the Riverdale Hotel, awesome, if you want something more low key, equally awesome. I was just thrown by the comment that I was being rude.

It's that cavalier attitude regarding people's schedules that is the issue, I think. Not everyone has the option to just leave early whenever they want. Also, you're wedding might start at 6 I'll want to get there about half an hour early, so that's 5:30 which is peak rush hour time which means I need to add in even more time. Plus, I work at an office with a casual dress code, so not only do I have to give myself enough time to leave early to deal with possible traffic, but I also have to build in time to either get ready for an evening wedding in the bathroom at my office or build in time to get home and change and get ready there. Even if you are getting married in the same city I live in, that's a good 2 hours at least that we're talking about and, again, not everyone has the luxury to have that happen.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

How am I being cavalier? I said it MAY come down to that. To reiterate, a large majority of our guests do not work in office jobs. They work in trade, hairdressers, nail techs, mechanics, or own their own business (like my mom and her husband). The few people that work a traditional M-F job get off work around 5 and live locally. They can get off work early, my dad (who,is one of the ONLY people who works an office job, has about 5 years of PTO due to him. So if he couldn't take the whole,day off he can leave early.) The guests who are coming from Out of town will have to take time from from work. There is no getting around that, most are making a long weekend out of it, or using their vacation time, some may be taking an unpaid day off. Its easier for people who do shift work to work the morning instead of taking the day off or switch to an overnight shift to lose the day of work.

Perhaps, if your like to see the other side of things I am taking an unpaid day off of work on a Sunday (12 hr shift) to attend my friends wedding in Austin. I CHOSE to take this loss because I love her and want to see her get married. If my FI can get the day off he will also be taking an unpaid day. Every situation involves a choice.

CMGragain · October 2015

I don't see anything wrong with this. My wedding was very late at night to accommodate the people who worked in retail. It was not a convenient date for most of my relatives, either, but they came, and I was very grateful.

redoryx · October 2015

BaileySanders said:

How am I being cavalier? I said it MAY come down to that. To reiterate, a large majority of our guests do not work in office jobs. They work in trade, hairdressers, nail techs, mechanics, or own their own business (like my mom and her husband). The few people that work a traditional M-F job get off work around 5 and live locally. They can get off work early, my dad (who,is one of the ONLY people who works an office job, has about 5 years of PTO due to him. So if he couldn't take the whole,day off he can leave early.) The guests who are coming from Out of town will have to take time from from work. There is no getting around that, most are making a long weekend out of it, or using their vacation time, some may be taking an unpaid day off. Its easier for people who do shift work to work the morning instead of taking the day off or switch to an overnight shift to lose the day of work. Perhaps, if your like to see the other side of things I am taking an unpaid day off of work on a Sunday (12 hr shift) to attend my friends wedding in Austin. I CHOSE to take this loss because I love her and want to see her get married. If my FI can get the day off he will also be taking an unpaid day. Every situation involves a choice.

Yes. And we are telling you that some guests may choose to not attend because a Thursday night wedding is inconvenient for them.

Your choosing to take an unpaid day doesn't have any bearing here. I mean, good for you and all but just because I may have X amount of PTO doesn't mean I want to use it for your wedding. I may be saving it for a big trip. It's great that your friends are willing to do that, but those that may be unwilling are well within their right to decline the invitation.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

I never said they weren't. No invitation is a gaurentee of attendeance. In fact, I said we would understand if anyone couldn't make it. But that's true of any event. It's easier for the large majority of our guests.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Our reception was over at 10pm our flight left at 7am the following morning from an airport 2 hours away.

We had about 4 hours of sleep and actually pulled over once we got close and took at 15min cat nap. It sucked but it worked for us. I think as long as you know you may get some declines and are ok with that then everything is ok. I do not think you are like a poster on here who seems to think people will drop everything to attend her reception only wedding. If they don't then they are rude..

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Thank you @RachelLee83!! Of course, I'll be disappointed of people I love can't make it, but I understand,,especially the OOT guests. After the random comment for a client and then reading the post you are referring to, I went into panic mode,

KnickerGold · November 2015

I-10 at night is going to be awful- have you driven through the night on a major highway? It's literally 90% 18-wheelers- that's when they drive. Plus driving at night *even if you're used to being awake then* is much harder that driving in the daytime.

Wouldn't seeing the sunrise be more fun from your hotel room as you pack to leave? That makes more sense to me, especially since you'll be paying for the hotel that day anyway if you're using it at 10pm.

[Deleted User] · November 2015

We drive at night, long distance, all the time. But thank you for your concern. Like I said, we will play it by ear. It's a long drive and we'd rather get the majority of the drive done in the overnight hours when there are less people on the road.

edenisle · November 2015

@aurianna That's awful! Sadly, I think incidents like that are becoming less and less "isolated." (Or maybe I just feel like that since I live in New Orleans, hehe).

OP, I would definitely play it by ear. I was so exhausted after our day; didn't even have the adrenaline rush I thought we'd have after everything was said and done. The whole event takes a lot out of you- especially if you're going to be setting up stuff yourself. It's all a matter of stress. I used to work nights and my husband still works nights, so I know what you mean about always being tired. But just make sure you're safe!

weddingcactus · November 2015

I just recently attended a weeknight wedding reception. Having the wedding on a weeknight wasn't rude, but it did mean that we didn't drink much and people began leaving right after dinner. We stayed to help clean up, but would have liked to leave earlier since we both had to work in the morning. I know you're not asking your guests to help clean up, but know that people may leave a little earlier or party less due to the wedding being on a weeknight.

Is it rude to get married on a Thursday?

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