Uh Oh... Sent Save The Dates But...

spockforprez · December 2015

It's outrageous how much time people have to post on here...

...yet she answers every post within 20 minutes or so.

Username100108 · December 2015

JediElizabeth said:

NoNeedToBeRude said:

spockforprez said:

NoNeedToBeRude said:

LOL Okay. Just keep going. Please. This is entertaining for me at this point. My mind's made up on what I'm going to do. At this point, you're all just beating a dead horse. Troll away...

So why post?

My mind was not made up when I originally posted this. I was simply asking for advice on how to handle the situation. I did not need the sarcastic comments from everyone. It's outrageous how much time people have to post on here... If it's not supportive, or constructive, or positively put, it doesn't need to be said. Period.

>>>>>boxes<<<<<

So, like a child, being told one thing in a way you didn't like is affecting you so much you're going to go take it out on someone else by being rude to them?

Good luck, if smart-assed comments on anonymous internet boards have that much power over you...</p>

If you read the comments everyone made, it was far more than them just disagreeing or putting their opinions in. They were all, except for a few, incredibly rude. If you can't see that, you're blind.

Username100108 · December 2015

Also, if you look at the people commenting, and read through other posts they've commented on, they attack other posters just the same. Rude people. Period. Bottom line is I came on here looking for help because my mind and heart were torn on what to do in this difficult situation, and rather than simply be helpful and caring, the majority of people were #&$% ^*%$*^ and were completely rude and made comments that were completely uncalled for..

TOS violation removed by mod.

levioosa · December 2015

NoNeedToBeRude said:

Also, if you look at the people commenting, and read through other posts they've commented on, they attack other posters just the same. Rude people. Period. Bottom line is I came on here looking for help because my mind and heart were torn on what to do in this difficult situation, and rather than simply be helpful and caring, the majority of people were
#&$% ^*%$*^
and were completely rude and made comments that were completely uncalled for..

Not getting the answer you wanted does not constitute rudeness. People were honest. You made a mistake by inviting this person and you have to own up to it. Oh, and calling people #&$% ^*%$*^ is against TOS, btw, which no one here, except for you, has broken.

Edited by mod.

CMGragain · December 2015

...so, go away. Don't let the door hit you on the butt on the way out. You were given good advice, but you would rather pout because no one told you what you wanted to hear. Grow up.

AddieCake · December 2015

NoNeedToBeRude said:

Also, if you look at the people commenting, and read through other posts they've commented on, they attack other posters just the same. Rude people. Period. Bottom line is I came on here looking for help because my mind and heart were torn on what to do in this difficult situation, and rather than simply be helpful and caring, the majority of people were #&$% ^*%$*^ and were completely rude and made comments that were completely uncalled for.. TOS violation removed by mod.

And you got help. You were told to invite her b/c your reasons for not wanting to are not valid. I don't know why it's so difficult for you to accept that as the help.

Clearly you only REALLY wanted to be told it would be ok not to invite her. When you didn't get that, you called people names and insulted them by mocking how much time they spend on here.

TrixieJess · December 2015

NoNeedToBeRude said:

spockforprez said:

NoNeedToBeRude said:

LOL Okay. Just keep going. Please. This is entertaining for me at this point. My mind's made up on what I'm going to do. At this point, you're all just beating a dead horse. Troll away...

So why post?

My mind was not made up when I originally posted this. I was simply asking for advice on how to handle the situation. I did not need the sarcastic comments from everyone. It's outrageous how much time people have to post on here... If it's not supportive, or constructive, or positively put, it doesn't need to be said. Period.

You were given good advice and the fact that everyone said the same thing should twig you to the fact that you are making a breach of etiquette.

Maybe you shouldn't Internet until you get a bit of a thicker skin or learn not to take things personally.

Sherbie25 · December 2015

Refer to OP's comments in another post called 'guest list'; they are full of shitty advice about not inviting SOs or giving plus ones. I would hate to be a guest at their wedding.

glasgowtolondon · December 2015

NoNeedToBeRude said:
Also, if you look at the people commenting, and read through other posts they've commented on, they attack other posters just the same. Rude people. Period. Bottom line is I came on here looking for help because my mind and heart were torn on what to do in this difficult situation, and rather than simply be helpful and caring, the majority of people were #&$% ^*%$*^ and were completely rude and made comments that were completely uncalled for..

TOS violation removed by mod.

----------

Really?

Or are they honest when people post ideas that would potentially hurt or be rude to their guests, instead of just nodding in agreement 'yay, we're all brides here! We all understand how super stressful it is! You do whatever you want for your special day, who cares about anyone else! Its all about you!'. Because I only really see the comments that you find rude on posts that suggest rude things.

Look, I lurked for a while when I first came to TK and I remember feeling a bit shocked too. There were some posts that echoed plans that I had where commenters tore them a new one, I had no idea my plans were bad and I thought TK was horrible! But after taking a while to think about it, and realising that these women had no reason to lie...maybe my plans weren't cool. Maybe this day wasn't just about me, after all I love my guests and want them to feel that way on my wedding day. Blunt feedback, not rude and mean.

MyNameIsNot · December 2015

NoNeedToBeRude said:

spockforprez said:

NoNeedToBeRude said:

LOL Okay. Just keep going. Please. This is entertaining for me at this point. My mind's made up on what I'm going to do. At this point, you're all just beating a dead horse. Troll away...

So why post?

My mind was not made up when I originally posted this. I was simply asking for advice on how to handle the situation. I did not need the sarcastic comments from everyone. It's outrageous how much time people have to post on here... If it's not supportive, or constructive, or positively put, it doesn't need to be said. Period.
>>>>>boxes<<<<< So, like a child, being told one thing in a way you didn't like is affecting you so much you're going to go take it out on someone else by being rude to them? Good luck, if smart-assed comments on anonymous internet boards have that much power over you...
If you read the comments everyone made, it was far more than them just disagreeing or putting their opinions in. They were all, except for a few, incredibly rude. If you can't see that, you're blind.

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Heffalump · December 2015

OP, TBH I can kinda see why your "friend" isn't too eager to reply to your messages.

As for calling us rude and then ringing up a TOS violation? That's rich.

You got good advice. You sent your friend a STD. The S stands for Save, and the D stands for Date. You don't tell someone to keep a date open for you and then later say "Psych!" without extenuating circumstances. Like something involving a restraining order. Not just slowly realizing that you're not as tight as you once were. If you want to end this friendship, have at it; people here were just responding under the assumption that you wanted to do the right thing.

And as for support, do you really need anyone here to pat your hand and stroke your hair? Mmmkay:

httporig11deviantartnetd0b8f201431538giphy_by_baymaxbig_hero_6-d863gzqgif

CMGragain · December 2015

I think the horse is dead.

hlvonb · December 2015

You sent the save the date so you have to send her an invite as well.

MaggieF1990 · December 2015

I want to echo the words of glasgowtolondon. When I first joined TK, I was looking at a venue that I LOVED, but unfortunately was not big enough to accommodate my guest list. The venue tried to tell me they could have chairs for 80% of my guests and bistro tables for the rest, and when I posted on here, I was ripped a new one. I was a bit shocked, but in the end, I'm SO glad I didn't go with that venue. I would have worried about it every day until my wedding day, and risked the chance of guests being uncomfortable and leaving early.

I didn't find any of these responses rude. You asked if there was any way you could politely not invite a childhood friend who you'd already sent a STD to, and you were told no. My fiance actually brought this up while we were planning, saying we could have an A and B list, send STDs to everyone and then just send invitations to the A list initially (this was during our venue capacity issues). Believe me, I scrapped that idea immediately. Imagine getting a STD for a wedding, then months later seeing photos all over Facebook. You'd be lying if you say it wouldn't rub you the wrong way, and it would probably tarnish (or ruin) your life-long friendship.

nicoalann · January 2016

She might not have responded because of jealousy
Or a lack of time
or she doesn't know what to say

Or she could have done what I always seem to do... check a message, get ready to reply and then I get distracted by my son because he somehow got his foot stuck in the toilet (or some other child disaster moment).... poof, message is now gone from my mind.

There are a ton of reasons.... what happens if you send out invites and then she calls you saying "I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you! Things have been crazy around here, but congrats I'm SOOOO happy for you!!!!" Then you'll feel like a jerk.

All in all if you thought she was good enough to send a STD and send her messages about the wedding even though you'd already been speaking only once a year.... then that's kind of a moment where you're stuck inviting her.

JediElizabeth · January 2016

nicoalann said:

She might not have responded because of jealousy
Or a lack of time
or she doesn't know what to say

Or she could have done what I always seem to do... check a message, get ready to reply and then I get distracted by my son because he somehow got his foot stuck in the toilet (or some other child disaster moment).... poof, message is now gone from my mind.

There are a ton of reasons.... what happens if you send out invites and then she calls you saying "I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you! Things have been crazy around here, but congrats I'm SOOOO happy for you!!!!" Then you'll feel like a jerk.

All in all if you thought she was good enough to send a STD and send her messages about the wedding even though you'd already been speaking only once a year.... then that's kind of a moment where you're stuck inviting her.

I really don't think the OP is listening to you....

I actually really hoped she HAD come back to start her ridiculousness back again when I first saw it bumped up.

CMGragain · January 2016

Like I said, the horse is dead. Everything that needed to be said on this thread has been said. (Stuck in my head now, "Ding, Dong, the horse is dead!")

Uh Oh... Sent Save The Dates But...

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