Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Had to Share

2456

Re: Had to Share

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    alexnicole452647 said:
    It would be a 3 day rental, but we cannot stay 3 days because of work.  AND we would have to share a bathroom with the other guests.  The wedding is about a 4 hour drive so thankfully it does not involve a plane. 
    I have never, ever seen this end well.  Not once has someone come back and said "Actually, it turned out a lot better than I thought it would."  I wish that were the case, but sadly, it never seems to be.

    If it were me, I would definitely bail before the next red flag pops up.  Because there will be more, I guarantee it.
    �
    Report Reply
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Knottie52027636 said:
    I assume the price is so highly because you are also paying the share for the caterers and planners (because I would hope they wouldn't make them pay)

    OMG I sure hope not! While the vendors should not be paying for their travel, the guests should not be paying for it either!!! If the cost is high because of including the vendors' accommodations, then that is even more reason to run for the hills on this one!

     







    Report Reply
  • alexnicole452647alexnicole452647 member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    Just another tidbit this is supposed to be a luxury wedding where NO expense is being spared.  The brides parents are holding the wedding at their house and are building the venue among other things!!! Both the bride and groom come from RICH families.  Currently they look like spoiled little brats throwing a tantrum for not getting their way.
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    OP - What area is this wedding?  I'm just so curious as to why there is only one hotel.  Are there no airbnb or vrbo options in the area?  They HAVE to use a realtor to arrange for accomodations.  I know you said its rural, but it also seems very strange!
    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    I've worked a bunch of high end weddings.  A few percentage of them... get this... PAY for their guests accommodations.  Yep, they understood that having the wedding at 'x' location could be a burden, so they pick up the hotels costs.  

    Others are like other couples who have room blocks, but there is no requirement to use them.   I've overheard guests mention where they are staying and they were much cheaper then accommodations on where the room block was made.

    If it's a rural spot and they are very wealthy I can see where the realtors would take advantage of that situation and price gouge.  Not that it makes it right, but that might be what is happening when it comes to the cost.  That still does not give the couple the right to REQUIRE their guests to stay and pay those rates with no say.  That is f'd up. 

    I have to say  I wish I knew where this was being held.  In June, my DH and one of his sous chefs are being flown out to a very rural place in the mid-west to cater a wedding.   All expenses paid for, of course.  I really hope this is not that wedding.  I really like the groom's parents and would hate to think they are behind something like this.


    ETA - I missed the wedding is in August.    I feel better now.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    alexnicole452647 I think this is definitely one of those topics where we'll want updates as things progress..... ;-) 

    I was thinking Realtor kick-back too, or guests underwriting the wedding costs. The price on a dumpy house is just too much to be logical. 
    ________________________________


    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    lyndausvi said:
    I have to say  I wish I knew where this was being held.  In June, my DH and one of his sous chefs are being flown out to a very rural place in the mid-west to cater a wedding.   All expenses paid for, of course.  I really hope this is not that wedding.  I really like the groom's parents and would hate to think they are behind something like this.
    OMG this would be fantastic. . . from a spectator's point of view ;-)

    aurianna said:
    Ok... I just had to crunch some numbers.
    If it cost $560 with the original number of planned couples and then jumped to 650 with planed minus 1...
    560p=650(p-1)
    p=7.2

    So if we assume 7 couples were planned for this place...
    That means for just three days in this s-hole without AC, the full rental is almost 4k???


    OP you have to tell us where this location is.

    AC is a REQUIREMENT for guest accommodations if you think you're throwing a luxury wedding. . . so is turn down service, an onsite spa. . .
    I'm going to say it depends where you are.   We do not have central a/c.  We do have portable a/c unit that is used about 8 times all summer.  Most houses do not have a/c where I live.  

    Fact is it's not really needed here.   Our nights are nice and cool.  Little to no humidity.   I wear jeans most nights because there can be a little nip in the air.
    However, there are many places in the country that it is required.  

    And the price?  Well $4k for a weekend sounds like high end resort prices.   Where I live you can spend $4k for a condo for a weekend.  That would be a 1 bedroom that sleeps 6 people (yikes).     

    So again.  WHERE IS THIS LOCATION?










    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I can't think of that many spots in the US where I wouldn't want AC in August. So very curious...
    Report Reply
  • mollybarker11mollybarker11 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    The cost per couple is more than I've ever paid for a month's rent.


    Rich people can be so frightening.
    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Please do not go to this wedding. The groom is a dick to just assume everyone that he assigned to the house would be able to go. And to get mad at you, too bad so sad. 
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Please, please, PLEASE keep us updated. Even if you don't go, we all know some poor sap will and then give you all the details.

    Report Reply
  • ClaraGraceClaraGrace member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    That's more than my rent a month! If I'm paying that for three days, I expect luxury accommodations.  I'm paying $164 a night for my wedding suite which includes hot breakfast, A/C if needed, room service, cookies, and a spa massage plus whatever else for their wedding contract. And that's a two room suite that I don't have to share with anyone but my new husband.

    I'd decline because oh darn, I have to cut the lawn that weekend or similar. Ok, fine, I can be an adult.  Just say no.  And I would send a nice card congratulating the couple, but I'd not bother with a gift or continuing the friendship.
    Report Reply
  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2015
    alexnicole452647 said:

    Sorry for the delay! The wedding is in the MIDDLE of PA, so it will be HOT not to mention getting ready for a wedding (hairdryers and curling irons).  The house only has 3 bathrooms which means that we would be all sharing.  The cost is per couple and there are 7 couples and a total of 14 people.  So far H and I and one other couple said no right off the bat.  Another couple just backed out as well because they cannot afford it and would only be able to stay one night so they are looking into hotels as well.

    I found a B&B that has breakfast included not too far from there that is $108/night.  I have booked it for the meantime and will reassess as we get closer since we still have months to see how this situation goes.   H is not ready to throw the towel in yet, he tends to be too forgiving but I have learned that it it's best for him to come around to these situations on his own time (I know I know).  

    Best part is as soon as they heard I booked the B&B the bride and groom immediately added it to their room block and told us that we also couldn't stay at this place.  I had to cancel previous reservations at other hotels they blocked off but refused to cancel this one.  AND my in laws are also invited because the groom and H were SO close, but they are allowed to stay in a hotel on the room block. 

    Seriously...I'm getting a house in the middle of PA for a WEEK this summer, and it will be less than what you're expected to pay for 3 days.

    And to expect you to cancel your reservations? Twice? They're definitely getting kickbacks or something.

    Edit: I'd look this location up on homeaway or something, and see if your price is actually market value.
    Report Reply
  • mntravelingmamamntravelingmama member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments
    These people are horrible.  I would not attend.
    Report Reply
  • alexnicole452647alexnicole452647 member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    JediElizabeth said:
    Seriously...I'm getting a house in the middle of PA for a WEEK this summer, and it will be less than what you're expected to pay for 3 days. And to expect you to cancel your reservations? Twice? They're definitely getting kickbacks or something. Edit: I'd look this location up on homeaway or something, and see if your price is actually market value.
    Your right I did check it is not market rate at all, so not sure why the realtor has such expensive rentals listed on their website.  To be honest I don't want anything to do with renting a house, I want privacy and my own bathroom. I might be a bit more flexible with this IF they weren't being such asses...
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Once they told me that I "couldn't" stay at a place I'd be done.   The fuckery would have ended any chance that I'd be attending and I'd probably book something else.   I'd be RAGING.
    Report Reply
  • TNDancerTNDancer member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Now I am super confused about room blocks as well. Surely G&B didn't save the whole hotel. What about random strangers staying at the hotel? Would they be kicked out as well?
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I am in awe of the assholishness of this Groom!  Also, does this groom not understand how a room block works?  I have never had a room block where I couldn't call/internet the hotel up and just get the negotiated room rate.  I didn't need to be on some list that "allowed" me to get a room at that hotel. 

    OP - If I were you, I would tell the other couples you are friendly with about this B&B.  So you can all stay there.

    I also cannot fathom being anywhere in PA in the summer and NOT need A/C.  I also can't see any rental house needing to cost that much per couple for only 3 days.  Huge and gorgeous lodges in the Poconos wouldn't cost that much per couple for 14 people and 3 nights!

    Report Reply
  • KnickerGoldKnickerGold member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm confused, so is the couple booking up the whole hotel (and now also B&B)? If they needed X rooms for the vendors, they should BOOK those, and then get room blocks elsewhere for guests, I can't fathom WHY they would 1)force you to rent a house when there are available hotels/B&Bs 2)make you cancel a reservation?!

    Something shady going on here...

    Also, how can they confirm people are 1)attend the wedding before RSVPs are due 2)going to stay where they put them??

    Are they worried their family won't book rooms, will have nowhere to stay, and so won't attend? If so, they should book the rooms for them- not block guests from booking in the hotel blocks (which are for GUESTS!) 

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards