Wedding Etiquette Forum

Had to Share

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Re: Had to Share

  • I am in awe of the assholishness of this Groom!  Also, does this groom not understand how a room block works?  I have never had a room block where I couldn't call/internet the hotel up and just get the negotiated room rate.  I didn't need to be on some list that "allowed" me to get a room at that hotel. 

    OP - If I were you, I would tell the other couples you are friendly with about this B&B.  So you can all stay there.

    I also cannot fathom being anywhere in PA in the summer and NOT need A/C.  I also can't see any rental house needing to cost that much per couple for only 3 days.  Huge and gorgeous lodges in the Poconos wouldn't cost that much per couple for 14 people and 3 nights!

    I'm seriously racking my brain to figure out a place in rural PA that commands those prices for a house for 3 nights in August.   I can't think of one off the top of my head.      

    Like you said even a winter holiday weekend the Poconos isn't that much.


    Also, it's pretty rare to rent a house that has right number of rooms to sleep 2 people that equals their "sleeps" x-number.   Sleeps 14 often means someone's ass is on a sofas or rooms with multiple beds and/or sets of bunk beds.  Often  "sleeps 14" =/=  7 rooms with a queen/king in each room.

     






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 

  • Sorry for the delay! The wedding is in the MIDDLE of PA, so it will be HOT not to mention getting ready for a wedding (hairdryers and curling irons).  The house only has 3 bathrooms which means that we would be all sharing.  The cost is per couple and there are 7 couples and a total of 14 people.  So far H and I and one other couple said no right off the bat.  Another couple just backed out as well because they cannot afford it and would only be able to stay one night so they are looking into hotels as well.

    I found a B&B that has breakfast included not too far from there that is $108/night.  I have booked it for the meantime and will reassess as we get closer since we still have months to see how this situation goes.   H is not ready to throw the towel in yet, he tends to be too forgiving but I have learned that it it's best for him to come around to these situations on his own time (I know I know).  

    Best part is as soon as they heard I booked the B&B the bride and groom immediately added it to their room block and told us that we also couldn't stay at this place.  I had to cancel previous reservations at other hotels they blocked off but refused to cancel this one.  AND my in laws are also invited because the groom and H were SO close, but they are allowed to stay in a hotel on the room block. 
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  That is some ballsy attempt at fuckery on the B&G's part.

    I would have laughed right in their faces at that request.  Good for you for refusing to cancel your reservation.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • The only thing I can think of (which other posters have said) is that the B&G are using you to cover the cost of vendors. It is the ONLY thing that makes sense in my mind.

    I have found that some of the "rich" people I know are some of the cheapest. Sounds like that's the case here.

  • lyndausvi said:

    I am in awe of the assholishness of this Groom!  Also, does this groom not understand how a room block works?  I have never had a room block where I couldn't call/internet the hotel up and just get the negotiated room rate.  I didn't need to be on some list that "allowed" me to get a room at that hotel. 

    OP - If I were you, I would tell the other couples you are friendly with about this B&B.  So you can all stay there.

    I also cannot fathom being anywhere in PA in the summer and NOT need A/C.  I also can't see any rental house needing to cost that much per couple for only 3 days.  Huge and gorgeous lodges in the Poconos wouldn't cost that much per couple for 14 people and 3 nights!

    I'm seriously racking my brain to figure out a place in rural PA that commands those prices for a house for 3 nights in August.   I can't think of one off the top of my head.      

    Like you said even a winter holiday weekend the Poconos isn't that much.


    Also, it's pretty rare to rent a house that has right number of rooms to sleep 2 people that equals their "sleeps" x-number.   Sleeps 14 often means someone's ass is on a sofas or rooms with multiple beds and/or sets of bunk beds.  Often  "sleeps 14" =/=  7 rooms with a queen/king in each room.

     
    Such a place doesn't exist.  OP already said that some sort of Fuckery McShade is going on with the Realtor and these rates.

    And no one in their right frigging mind stays anywhere in the summer in the middle of BFE PA without AC.  Ever.  Except maybe Satan as he's used to heat and humidity.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Rates could be that high if the wedding is near State College AND its Penn State Graduation weekend, but then you wouldn't have got a good rate at the B&B either so it does sound as though something shady is going on here
  • I'm flabbergasted!

    They told you to cancel your reservation? Like, NO! You are far too nice ;).

    I have never heard of a B&G demanding their guests stay somewhere particular. I also don't get how this is all working when it is so far away from the RSVP date.

    I would tell your friends about the price at the B&B you found, in case they still want to attend the wedding. It is a bit of a stick to the B&G, but also being kind to your other friends too!

    I am mostly in a tizzy about the fact that the B&G are liking getting some kick back from these rentals- who does that? I get that there are ways to find deals everywhere, but I would only do that if it were mutually beneficial (such as, "Hey my best friends- I found this group on for a cabin rental right near the wedding and it's super cheap, so if you are thinking you'll attend, you should check it out!"- but again, a suggestion, not a demand). I cannot imagine that a couple would hose their friends in order to make their own financial gain.

    If I were you, I wouldn't go. Or, go to the B&B, do something else on the wedding day and meet up with your other friends on another day of that weekend.
  • Yes I would definitely tell the other assigned housemates(?) about the B&B because you know that shit-talking groom is gonna make it seem like you guys are leaving the other guests in the lurch / making the rental more expensive for them.
  • Oh, I HAVE to cancel my reservation for a nicer option for some grand wedding drama?  I'd be right on that, along with canceling any friendship. Don't bother sending me an invitation, I'd pitch it in my shredder unopened.  Because you know they aren't including postage on their overweight RSVP cards.

    I don't get people who act like this, nor the parents who raised such monsters. My Momma would come back from the dead and tan my hide if I even considered this type behavior.  

    And I was feeling bad that our room blocks are from $88-158 a night. Never mind.
  • edited December 2015
    How does one add a b&b to a hotel block? This is starting to get a little muddy...
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Wait, back up the truck, they are trying to "call dibs" on all hotels and B&Bs? In what state are 5 year olds allowed to get married?

  • Each hotel only has about 15 rooms, so they originally booked two hotels and now the B&B.  There is nothing else in the area, the hotels are a good 20 minutes apart.  Some of our friends have already asked about the B&B because they cannot afford the house nor do they want to share a bathroom and clean up/straighten up in the morning.  

    Their honeymoon is on the other side of the world...which they registered for which have hefty price tags.
  • Sorry for the delay! The wedding is in the MIDDLE of PA, so it will be HOT not to mention getting ready for a wedding (hairdryers and curling irons).  The house only has 3 bathrooms which means that we would be all sharing.  The cost is per couple and there are 7 couples and a total of 14 people.  So far H and I and one other couple said no right off the bat.  Another couple just backed out as well because they cannot afford it and would only be able to stay one night so they are looking into hotels as well.

    I found a B&B that has breakfast included not too far from there that is $108/night.  I have booked it for the meantime and will reassess as we get closer since we still have months to see how this situation goes.   H is not ready to throw the towel in yet, he tends to be too forgiving but I have learned that it it's best for him to come around to these situations on his own time (I know I know).  

    Best part is as soon as they heard I booked the B&B the bride and groom immediately added it to their room block and told us that we also couldn't stay at this place.  I had to cancel previous reservations at other hotels they blocked off but refused to cancel this one.  AND my in laws are also invited because the groom and H were SO close, but they are allowed to stay in a hotel on the room block. 

    ...But.... aren't.... hotel blocks, like.... for the wedding guests... to, like... stay in?

    Stop with your crazy logic!

  • adk19 said:
    lyndausvi said:

    I am in awe of the assholishness of this Groom!  Also, does this groom not understand how a room block works?  I have never had a room block where I couldn't call/internet the hotel up and just get the negotiated room rate.  I didn't need to be on some list that "allowed" me to get a room at that hotel. 

    OP - If I were you, I would tell the other couples you are friendly with about this B&B.  So you can all stay there.

    I also cannot fathom being anywhere in PA in the summer and NOT need A/C.  I also can't see any rental house needing to cost that much per couple for only 3 days.  Huge and gorgeous lodges in the Poconos wouldn't cost that much per couple for 14 people and 3 nights!

    I'm seriously racking my brain to figure out a place in rural PA that commands those prices for a house for 3 nights in August.   I can't think of one off the top of my head.      

    Like you said even a winter holiday weekend the Poconos isn't that much.


    Also, it's pretty rare to rent a house that has right number of rooms to sleep 2 people that equals their "sleeps" x-number.   Sleeps 14 often means someone's ass is on a sofas or rooms with multiple beds and/or sets of bunk beds.  Often  "sleeps 14" =/=  7 rooms with a queen/king in each room.

     
    Such a place doesn't exist.  OP already said that some sort of Fuckery McShade is going on with the Realtor and these rates.

    And no one in their right frigging mind stays anywhere in the summer in the middle of BFE PA without AC.  Ever.  Except maybe Satan as he's used to heat and humidity.
    Oh, I don't know.  I always figured that hell was a dry heat.
    I always figured hell is more like Orlando in August.  Temperature and humidity both closing in on 100.
  • Rates could be that high if the wedding is near State College AND its Penn State Graduation weekend, but then you wouldn't have got a good rate at the B&B either so it does sound as though something shady is going on here

    That was my thought-- that it's in Centre County and there's a home game or something. But then OP said that there aren't many hotels in the area, and State College and the surrounding area has tons of hotels since the population of SC pretty much doubles on game days.

    I got nothing. Super shady all around.
    Amor vincet omnia.... par liones.
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  • Where in PA is this?
  • VicTim328 said:
    Where in PA is this?
    OP just said the middle of the state.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:


    VicTim328 said:

    Where in PA is this?

    OP just said the middle of the state.

    I'm imagining it's in one of those ridiculously empty areas, where there are small towns but you have to drive 10 miles on windy 35 mph roads just to find a grocery store. I've been in areas west of Scranton and northwest of Harrisburg that fit that bill.
  • VicTim328 said:
    Where in PA is this?
    OP just said the middle of the state.
    I'm imagining it's in one of those ridiculously empty areas, where there are small towns but you have to drive 10 miles on windy 35 mph roads just to find a grocery store. I've been in areas west of Scranton and northwest of Harrisburg that fit that bill.
    Yeah, I've driven through some of those areas.      Add in rich parents, I'm guessing the realtor is price gouging.     That said, there has to be some kickback for the couple.  I mean who DEMANDS guests to certain accommodations?  Then charges more than the market rate.  The average couple negotiates BETTER rates for groups, not higher ones.  

    I wonder if they are having a cash bar at their home too?

    So bizarre. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    This is fantastic! 
  • edited December 2015

    I found a B&B that has breakfast included not too far from there that is $108/night.  I have booked it for the meantime and will reassess as we get closer since we still have months to see how this situation goes.   H is not ready to throw the towel in yet, he tends to be too forgiving but I have learned that it it's best for him to come around to these situations on his own time (I know I know).  

    Best part is as soon as they heard I booked the B&B the bride and groom immediately added it to their room block and told us that we also couldn't stay at this place.  I had to cancel previous reservations at other hotels they blocked off but refused to cancel this one.  AND my in laws are also invited because the groom and H were SO close, but they are allowed to stay in a hotel on the room block. 
    My parents own & operate a B&B.  There is no way in HELL that they'd let this shit happen.  If someone makes a reservation and puts down the deposit, they have their room.  Done and done.  Someone else can't come in and take over that rerservation!

    Shit, if this was my parents' B&B, they would say "no, this room is reserved" ... listen to the bride & grom bitch & moan, then make sure to get the guest to spill the details after the wedding over breakfast.
  • We were invited to a wedding a few years ago that was somewhat out in the country.  The MOB is one of my mom's life-long friends (my mom is the godmother of the bride).  MOB had rented a house with several rooms for her family (whom we've known for 30+ years) and invited my parents & us (me & DH) to stay there with them.  My parents took them up on the offer, but DH & I politely declined and stayed at a hotel.

    We declined.  Nobody got angry.  We still went to the wedding and it was lovely. 
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