How to make everyone shut up during the first dance

Knottie1438018253 · November 2015

am I the only one that goes to weddings and finds it so rude that people just blabber on during the first dance? I feel like it's disrespectful towards the couple. has anyone who is already married had the guests be silent during the first dance? I am planning on doing that but don't know how to have the DJ ask. I don't think it's a super bridezilla thing to do, I think it's just respectful to the couple to honor their first dance with silence and not a bunch of background chatter.

holyguacamole79 · November 2015

Knottie1438018253 said:
am I the only one that goes to weddings and finds it so rude that people just blabber on during the first dance? I feel like it's disrespectful towards the couple. has anyone who is already married had the guests be silent during the first dance? I am planning on doing that but don't know how to have the DJ ask. I don't think it's a super bridezilla thing to do, I think it's just respectful to the couple to honor their first dance with silence and not a bunch of background chatter.

Just let people be. Many people find the spotlight dances to be boring.

If people were talking during our first dance, I'd have no idea. We were just enjoying ourselves.

lyndausvi · November 2015

Knottie1438018253 said:

am I the only one that goes to weddings and finds it so rude that people just blabber on during the first dance? I feel like it's disrespectful towards the couple. has anyone who is already married had the guests be silent during the first dance? I am planning on doing that but don't know how to have the DJ ask. I don't think it's a super bridezilla thing to do, I think it's just respectful to the couple to honor their first dance with silence and not a bunch of background chatter.

I will be honest, our music was loud enough that I didn't even notice if people were talking or not. I know people were at the bar ordering drinks. I guess I do not see the need for undivided attention during a dance?

Knottie1438018253 · November 2015

I guess I just feel like it's a really special moment for the bride and groom and think that people should keep the chatter to a minimum. I mean, it's only a couple minutes out of their lives ya know?

holyguacamole79 · November 2015

Knottie1438018253 said:
I guess I just feel like it's a really special moment for the bride and groom and think that people should keep the chatter to a minimum. I mean, it's only a couple minutes out of their lives ya know?

I promise you, the music will be loud enough and you'll be so happy that you won't notice.

lyndausvi · November 2015

Knottie1438018253 said:

I guess I just feel like it's a really special moment for the bride and groom and think that people should keep the chatter to a minimum. I mean, it's only a couple minutes out of their lives ya know?

Well, I just gave my undivided attention during the ceremony. Sometimes that is up to an hour if it's a religious ceremony. So no, I do not see the need, even if it is only a few minutes.

Between the music and the lights you will not even know what people are doing while you are doing your first dance. Or should I say, if you are looking around making sure people are looking at you and not talking, you are doing it wrong.

Seriously, there are way more important things to worry about. Talking during the first dance is NOT one of those things.

Knottie1438018253 · November 2015

True, true. I am just being paranoid! Haha. Our first dance will be fun though - it's an acoustic song that goes into a faster version of it, so after the slower version we are going to have everyone join us on the dance floor for the faster version. I'm excited about that - have never seen a first dance like that before.

lyndausvi · November 2015

Knottie1438018253 said:

True, true. I am just being paranoid! Haha. Our first dance will be fun though - it's an acoustic song that goes into a faster version of it, so after the slower version we are going to have everyone join us on the dance floor for the faster version. I'm excited about that - have never seen a first dance like that before.

I have. It was fun. Still do not need my undivided attention. When the DJ invited us on the dance floor, we went.

glasgowtolondon · November 2015

Just remember that these people are taking a whole day (or at least 3-5hrs minimum) out of their lives to celebrate your decision to get married. Aunt Margaret chats to Uncle Tom during your dance? No big deal, and like others have said, if you are focused on other people then you're doing it wrong.

Also, please don't tell adults to be quiet. Not cool.

CMGragain · November 2015

I can't imagine anything more boring than deadly silence while a couple does their dance.

Knottie1438018253 · November 2015

CMGragain said:

I can't imagine anything more boring than deadly silence while a couple does their dance.

LOL! Now that you say it I see what you mean.

AddieCake · December 2015

I think it's weird to expect everyone to sit there in silence gazing at the couple. I wouldn't want people watching me intently like that if I were dancing, and I would have no interest in watching the couple dance for longer than the few seconds I give my attention to that.

frenchiekin · December 2015

Guests could have been burning the venue down during our first dance and I'm not sure I would have noticed. All I saw was my new H's face and a blur of lights and people in the background. You'll have the same tunnel vision you experience when you're walking down the aisle. This is not something to worry about.

downtondiva · December 2015

If people were talking during our first dance, I didn't notice. I just saw my new husband and lots of people who looked happy for us.

TheCheeseWench · December 2015

We danced together to the song of our choosing, but it wasn't "announced" or specifically "watched". A few other people were on the dance floor. Most guests were at the bar or chatting at tables. The only people paying attention when we danced were the mothers and the photog. It was much nicer getting to be in a moment that was largely just ours, rather than be a spectacle. That is one of the reasons we waited until late into the reception to even go near the dance floor (also, getting around to talk to everyone takes a long time).

To me, a reception is a thank you for sitting through the mushiness that was our wedding. Asking someone to shut up to watch other people dance doesn't seem like a great way to say thanks, which is one reason we skipped the formal "announced" parent dances too. If he wanted to dance with his Mother, GREAT! I wasn't going to ask other people to stand around and pretend to be entertained by it.

MobKaz · December 2015

Knottie1438018253 said:

I guess I just feel like it's a really special moment for the bride and groom and think that people should keep the chatter to a minimum. I mean, it's only a couple minutes out of their lives ya know?

The special moment IS for the bride and groom. It may be sweet for the other guests, but not so special that they would watch in silence. If anything, it encourages conversation between the guests. The immediate family may talk among themselves about how glad they are the couple is together, or how nice it is they have this moment of peace. I have also seen the bridal couple talk during their first dance, so to expect the guests to remain silent seems particularly odd. They are guests, after all, not an audience.

[Deleted User] · December 2015

We did ours at the beginning. The DJ asked everyone to sit down for dinner & then did the introductions, and then we were introduced & walked in & went straight to the dance floor and did our first dance. If people were talking, I didn't even notice it.

How to make everyone shut up during the first dance

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